Guest007:


Your portion isn't mine... Money is abundant in my reality.

Small pikin d do u

JONNYSPUTE:
. I agree. I keep wondering how a lady could not make a choice out of so many men that keep asking for their hands in marriage during their younger ages.It happened to two of my cousins, they are over 45 now. But what I couldn't understand was why it so. I knew then when I was growing up,they had numerous boyfriends and suitors.

They were looking for the likes of Dangote. The issue is the comparison they have with relations/friends; probably their friend or sister got married to a wealthy man this now turn a yardstick for choosing a man. If Mary could get married to Adenuga, I'm more beautiful I should get someone like him even better. Na so them go they till dem reach menopause.

lefulefu:
in other places its normal for a lady to approach u or even give u sign if she likes you but in nigeria my brother it hardly happens

I agree not all women have the confidence to do this but with increase in education and exposure through social media trust me many women now shoot their shot. They are increasingly breaking the social barrier

sisisioge:
Hmmm...all these long stories advising women to lower their standards just so they could quickly bear the prestigious title of "Mrs" sef.

No wonder we have a lot of unhappily married women who have resorted to either cheating rebelling against or simply unhappily accepting their fate in the resultant marriages. All because they settled for less due to the untoward pressure from the society... Alas, these men too end up cheating, abusing or even becoming suddenly single again in their middle age. Why, because the society have equated success to marriage, therefore every female of marriageable age should count herself lucky to be asked to bear that title before it becomes too late. Divorce, unhappy marriages, domestic violence, etc are reactions to unmet expectations.

Take a poll around NL posts (family session), gist in beer parlours, the neighbourhood or simply sit on your Nana's laps to hear gist. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that could turn awry if not done well. Slow down, know what you want, seek and don't settle for less. May God bless us with good people.

How about those women who went for what they want, unfortunately the man doesn't want them. They only end up being used and dumped.

BiggyB242:


How about those women who went for what they want, unfortunately the man doesn't want them. They only end up being used and dumped.

Ironically many ladies prefer this option.

LadyGCrueDKilaB:
Story I can never marry or date a broke hass

You must be in your early or mid 20s for saying this. When you are 30 and still single, let's watch whether you will recap that statement of yours...Idiot keep fooling yourself

Guest007:


Your portion isn't mine... Money is abundant in my reality.

Small pikin d d worry u

Toks2008:


Ironically many ladies prefer this option.

You aren't far from the truth, that's why you see this women trying to change their man and you wonder why can't they just leave.

BiggyB242:


How about those women who went for what they want, unfortunately the man doesn't want them. They only end up being used and dumped.

So glad you're seeing the light...it is very wise for a woman or a man to continue to wait until they meet the person whose ideologies and theirs jive so as to avoid stories that touch. Simple. Even on this forum we have supposedly very eligible bachelors in their forties that are unmarried...now this can't be because there are shortage of women, right? It mostly likely would be that they've not met the one. May God help us all.

BiggyB242:


You aren't far from the truth, that's why you see this women trying to change their man and you wonder why can't they just leave.

Right. Why marry someone you would require to change eventually when you could just have kept looking until you get what you need in a partner? Again, settling for what's just available is counter productive eventually... No wonder, the society is mostly dysfunctional. By the way, you know this affects men who settle for less too. It is well.

sisisioge:


So glad you're seeing the light...it is very wise for a woman or a man to continue to wait until they meet the person whose ideologies and theirs jive so as to avoid stories that touch. Simple. Even on this forum we have supposedly very eligible bachelors in their forties that are unmarried...now this can't be because their are shortage of women, right? It mostly likely would be that they've not met the one. May God help us all.

My friend. These brothers in their forties can still find a woman who wants them but the probability of our aunts at that age finding a man is very slim. Most of these men don't want to settle down, still enjoying the single hood not that can't find the one.

Toks2008:
Do you know that 99% of ladies who are still single at marriageable ages have no business with singlehood?

Many ladies pray to GOD every now and then for a spouse but unknown to them, GOD has blocked his ears to their prayers...WHY? Because God has already given them a spouse but they rejected his choice for them due to the preconceived unrealistic standards they have already created in their minds of what a good husband should be. The average woman does not really want a good man or a good husband in the real sense but what she wants is her own fantasy idea of what a good husband is supposed to be, in order words, she already has her MIND MADE HUSBAND...

Whilst men may get away with this mind-made choice because they are at a vantage position due to their ability to walk up to any lady of their choice, a lady may find It very difficult to do the same...maybe things would have been easier if ladies can walk up to the man that has their standards to decisively woo them and make them fall for them, propose to them and stay married to them

Whilst I totally agree that it is perfectly ok to set a standard as regards the type of husband you want, it is sacrosanct that you do not cross that line from realistic standards to fantasy and you can't pray to GOD to give you a good husband and at the same time give him conditions...if you want GOD to lead a good husband to find you then allow him to do just that.

*Work on yourself to be independent financially and you won't care if your man is jobless, broke or earns 30k per month at the moment cos the state of being broke or poor is relative and temporary.
*Sixpack or a good body frame does not equate to a good husband.
*A big dck is not a guaranty that he will be a good husband.
*That he is rich does not mean you are also rich.
*You will hardly find a rich man that will be there for you whenever you need him.
*It is very unrealistic to expect a good husband to act or look like the super romantic sexy F boys you have met in the past and hoping to turn a F boy into a husband is lame.
*A man is not supposed to be cute like ladies who are regarded as the fairer sex or must be tall to be considered a good husband...what a man needs to have is a genuine desire for you.
*You can never date a pastor, a divorcee, can't marry a man with kids, you can't date a workaholic and you want a rich man, you can't be with a guy who is not fluent, who talks too much, he has to belong to a certain tribe, religion or even church denomination, must have a certain skin color, must have good dress sense, must be based abroad or from a certain country, he must not be too young or too old as if age gap is a prerequisite for a good marriage...
*He texts you or calls you too much or so into you and you feel he is not your type!...would you rather prefer he cares less?
*You want a good guy or husband but you have bad manners, you act and dress indecently and your nude or semi-nude pics and videos are all over social media and you dare crave for a good man
*Your feelings for a man as important as it is can not guaranty that he will have the same feelings for you and if you marry a man you have feelings for but does not have true feelings for, sister you are finished maritally.
*You Have friend-zoned and you keep friend-zoning the good guys and running after bad boys like a jinxed lady and you still talk about how difficult it is to find good men...
*You don't want to build a life with him cos you feel he will leave or cheat on you if he is made...strange!... I can go and on highlighting a series of unrealistic standards many ladies look for in a prospective good husband.

No matter how you pray and no matter the number of the singles summit you attend, If you are not ready to forget your false standards and make a serious compromise, you may remain single for a very very long time. l believe that the most paramount desire of an unmarried lady is to have a GOOD husband who will love and care for her and any other thing should be secondary and when you pray to GOD FOR a husband, blank your mind from any Imaginary standard you have created for yourself and allow GOD HAVE HIS WAY or simply develop the balls to approach any guy that matches your imagination and stop bothering GOD.

Stop bothering God? LMAO!!!!

Haha, thank you.

BiggyB242:


My friend. These brothers in their forties can still find a woman who wants them but the probability of our aunts at that age finding a man is very slim. Most of these men don't want to settle down, still enjoying the single hood not that can't find the one.

Oh, my mistake then. I must have been hearing/seeing things

By the way, dont limit yourself to naija shore alone. Women are still killing it out there in their thirties, forties and even fifties. Although I must agree that men got to kill it far longer than that. Again, stop thinking within alone...the world is far outreaching out there

sisisioge:


Right. Why marry someone you would require to change eventually when you could just have kept looking until you get what you need in a partner? Again, settling for what's just available is counter productive eventually... No wonder, the society is mostly dysfunctional. By the way, you know this affects men who settle for less too. It is well.

No you got it all wrong, the standard most women talk about today is materialistic (physical appearance and financial capabilities). Ask any woman what kind of man she wants, it will be centred on those two things I have mentioned. Mary end up getting married to rich man with a smoking/drinking habit, that habit she tries to change.

My opinion is you should be able to give what you want, so it is with respect to "standard". Those standard should be realistic because at the end you might never get such kind of man, probably to late when you realise.

BiggyB242:


No you got it all wrong, the standard most women talk about today is materialistic (physical appearance and financial capabilities). Ask any woman what kind of man she wants, it will be centred on those two things I have mentioned.

My opinion is you should be able to give what you want, so it is with respect to "standard". Those standard should be realistic because at the end you might never get such kind of man, probably to late when you realise.

Of course! Standards should be within realistic measures. Even Disney world knows this by now.

sisisioge:


Oh, my mistake then. I must have been hearing/seeing things

By the way, dont limit yourself to naija shore alone. Women are still killing it out there in their thirties, forties and even fifties. Although I must agree that men got to kill it far longer than that. Again, stop thinking within alone...the world is far outreaching out there

I'm speaking from Nigeria point of view, that's where we are. When our sister has watch too much zee world and forget they are in Nigeria. In the western world a woman can have 4 kids with different men and still find a man try that in Naija, even with just a kid no mother will want his son to get married to a woman with a kid esp if he doesn't have any yet.

BiggyB242:


I'm speaking from Nigeria point of view, that's where we are. When our sister has watch too much zee world and forget they are in Nigeria. In the western world a woman can have 4 kids with different men and still find a man try that in Naija, even with just a kid no mother will want his son to get married to a woman with a kid esp if he doesn't have any yet.

Oh...another of my mistakes o. I assumed the OP was talking about women in general or at the least, our women both home and abroad considering that he was writing from the comfort of the abroad . Besides, NL has women from around the globe reading it. Also, haven't you heard that naija folks are running abroad by the dozen everyday? Hmmm

No vex...let's just agree that all of us will be alright last last. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

BiggyB242:


How about those women who went for what they want, unfortunately the man doesn't want them. They only end up being used and dumped.

When toasting man or a woman, get am for mind say them fit use you and dump. It's part of the game. It's normal nau

condemn:


When toasting man or a woman, get am for mind say them fit use you and dump. It's part of the game. It's normal nau

Women can say "no" from the onset "at the stage of toasting", but you know our Naija men are cheap they hardly say no to a woman advances.

BiggyB242:


Women can say from the onset "at the stage of toasting", but you know our Naija men are cheap they hardly say no to a woman advances.

Me i nor cheap oh. I dey turn women down back to back as long as them nor be my spec

sisisioge:


Oh...another of my mistakes o. I assumed the OP was talking about women in general or at the least, our women both home and abroad considering that he was writing from the comfort of the abroad . Besides, NL has women from around the globe reading it. Also, haven't you heard that naija folks are running abroad by the dozen everyday? Hmmm

No vex...let's just agree that all of us will be alright last last. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

Okay, I was referring to Nigerian women in Nigeria. Have a nice day.

Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles & less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow more stronger, more skilled, more self-confident & more successful You.

you are correct,am hoping to get the ryt one soon no tym to check tym again,standard ke

Toks2008:
Do you know that 99% of ladies who are still single at marriageable ages have no business with singlehood?

Many ladies pray to GOD every now and then for a spouse but unknown to them, GOD has blocked his ears to their prayers...WHY? Because God has already given them a spouse but they rejected his choice for them due to the preconceived unrealistic standards they have already created in their minds of what a good husband should be. The average woman does not really want a good man or a good husband in the real sense but what she wants is her own fantasy idea of what a good husband is supposed to be, in order words, she already has her MIND MADE HUSBAND...

Whilst men may get away with this mind-made choice because they are at a vantage position due to their ability to walk up to any lady of their choice, a lady may find It very difficult to do the same...maybe things would have been easier if ladies can walk up to the man that has their standards to decisively woo them and make them fall for them, propose to them and stay married to them

Whilst I totally agree that it is perfectly ok to set a standard as regards the type of husband you want, it is sacrosanct that you do not cross that line from realistic standards to fantasy and you can't pray to GOD to give you a good husband and at the same time give him conditions...if you want GOD to lead a good husband to find you then allow him to do just that.

*Work on yourself to be independent financially and you won't care if your man is jobless, broke or earns 30k per month at the moment cos the state of being broke or poor is relative and temporary.
*Sixpack or a good body frame does not equate to a good husband.
*A big dck is not a guaranty that he will be a good husband.
*That he is rich does not mean you are also rich.
*You will hardly find a rich man that will be there for you whenever you need him.
*It is very unrealistic to expect a good husband to act or look like the super romantic sexy F boys you have met in the past and hoping to turn a F boy into a husband is lame.
*A man is not supposed to be cute like ladies who are regarded as the fairer sex or must be tall to be considered a good husband...what a man needs to have is a genuine desire for you.
*You can never date a pastor, a divorcee, can't marry a man with kids, you can't date a workaholic and you want a rich man, you can't be with a guy who is not fluent, who talks too much, he has to belong to a certain tribe, religion or even church denomination, must have a certain skin color, must have good dress sense, must be based abroad or from a certain country, he must not be too young or too old as if age gap is a prerequisite for a good marriage...
*He texts you or calls you too much or so into you and you feel he is not your type!...would you rather prefer he cares less?
*You want a good guy or husband but you have bad manners, you act and dress indecently and your nude or semi-nude pics and videos are all over social media and you dare crave for a good man
*Your feelings for a man as important as it is can not guaranty that he will have the same feelings for you and if you marry a man you have feelings for but does not have true feelings for, sister you are finished maritally.
*You Have friend-zoned and you keep friend-zoning the good guys and running after bad boys like a jinxed lady and you still talk about how difficult it is to find good men...
*You don't want to build a life with him cos you feel he will leave or cheat on you if he is made...strange!... I can go and on highlighting a series of unrealistic standards many ladies look for in a prospective good husband.

No matter how you pray and no matter the number of the singles summit you attend, If you are not ready to forget your false standards and make a serious compromise, you may remain single for a very very long time. l believe that the most paramount desire of an unmarried lady is to have a GOOD husband who will love and care for her and any other thing should be secondary and when you pray to GOD FOR a husband, blank your mind from any Imaginary standard you have created for yourself and allow GOD HAVE HIS WAY or simply develop the balls to approach any guy that matches your imagination and stop bothering GOD.
I hope this makes sense.

just wowed!!!!

Fountainofyouth:



True sometimes, one time I met my heart desire then found out down there is too small for my heart desire, I left him

Point is, all you want can't be packaged in one person, you just have to make do with it anyhow, but for me presently, I got a full package

But rather you got what you deserve... no luck in nature... trust me!

airprinz:
You must be in your early or mid 20s for saying this. When you are 30 and still single, let's watch whether you will recap that statement of yours...Idiot keep fooling yourself

Learn to respect someone's opinion

grimandevil:


Small pikin d d worry u

This is a compliment

The first 2 comments changed their original comment for LIKES


Artificial world or what abeg add more smiles

Error corrected

Divay22:

Learn to respect someone's opinion

There are some opinions that need not to be respected. Hers is an example of it

LilMissFavvy:
Exactly.... It all lies in the ability to be smart, or should I say lucky to know the right one when he shows up. For an average lady, how many guys approached her in her single days? Out of the several or few that approached her, her type might have been there.

Well, you are correct. But in some other cases, she might as well find herself in a very tight situation that she could not give that heart desire a chance .


Let’s say I am her heart desire, like I am the full package, but by the time I came across to her, she was already in a relationship with someone , who was a little bit close to the full package, this not giving me any chance.

In such situations, I would not have advised her to ditch her current guy to try to explore with me.