I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

let's me pastor Nelson you ,I think u need it

sadly...there is no way to build love where there isnt any foundation for love to grow... the foundation is messed up from the get go. dont believe the hype that people say that you can love someone irrespective of what you guys share/feel for one another, thats a damn LIE!

you should learn to respect this person, learn to stay positive about your not so great position, and do whats right with the choices you've made... but the reality is that love would NEVER cherish from such union.

emirateprince:
let's me pastor Nelson you ,I think u need it

lol. .. pastor Wilson u mean? Seriously jor....no yabs

merit1988:
lol. .. pastor Wilson u mean? Seriously jor....no yabs

you even sabi d name lolz then u feel me be dat

MrBrownJay1:
sadly...there is no way to build love where there isnt any foundation for love to grow... the foundation is messed up from the get go. dont believe the hype that people say that you can love someone irrespective of what you guys share/feel for one another, thats a damn LIE!

you should learn to respect this person, learn to stay positive about your not so great position, and do whats right with the choices you've made... but the reality is that love would NEVER cherish from such union.

hmmmmmmmm....deep

If you are a Christian,your duty is to submit to your husband and his duty is to love you. Don't you people buy surprise gifts for yourselves? This is one way you can use to ignite the fire of love in your relationship. Prepare his best meal for him. Be an obedient wife, Take a stroll together, See a movie together, Dress sexually for him at home and make love to him when he wants it and generously too. And in return your husband will shower you with lots of love.

totosucker:
If you are a Christian,your duty is to submit to your husband and his duty is to love you. Don't you people buy surprise gifts for yourselves? This is one way you can use to ignite the fire of love in your relationship. Prepare his best meal for him. Be an obedient wife, Take a stroll together, See a movie together, Dress sexually for him at home and make love to him when he wants it and generously too. And in return your husband will shower you with lots of love.

I hv been trying to play my role as a wife anyway.... thanks for u warm advices....I'm grateful..ur name though

I read a thread here sometimes ago where Men were advised to marry and learn to love those who love them and only use and dump those they love.I asked how does one learn to love but my question was left unanswered, the ones who tried to answer only danced around it. No procedure or How to was provided and I laughed. How men bask judiciously in so much ignorance amuse me! They believe women learn to love so they can do it too.But only the wise one would ask how women easily divert this so called love on their children as soon as they are born neglecting the fathers. Was the love ever there?


The truth is you can never learn to love, you can only learn to appreciate.Love is not something you can create but Gratitude, you can. The misconception comes when people mix up love and gratitude. Contrary to what we see movies like a man learning to love the woman he was force to marry, No! he only learned to appreciate and live with the woman after his brain has been reconfigured by a terrible situation that might have caused him to lose the Good woman.

Op, you can't learn to love. You can only learn to appreciate, learn to be with and learn to accept your Man. In this case, look at the positive sides of things, compare his good qualities to what others do not have and accept him. I wish you luck.

merit1988:
I hv been trying to play my role as a wife anyway.... thanks for u warm advices....I'm grateful..ur name though

You like my name?

This is exactly why I can not marry a virgin or anyone under 25.

Marriage is a serious business so it requires trainings from father, brothers, male cousins, boyfriends, classmates, male co-workers etc. If a lady hasn't gotten to these stages, then she shouldn't be ready and available for marriage.

Marriage without love is as good as cohabitation, no marriage counsellor or pastor can change that.

You guys should sit down and have a long conversation and your decision should based on that, not on advice from nairaland.

Hmm

Na you wear shoes oh...

No one here can give you any advice based on the very scanty info above.

Love is what you define it to be. Love your situation and don't compare with anyone else. Every home has its challenges, how you manage it makes the difference.

You will grow into enjoying your home. Find what interest you to kill boredom, share in his interest. Explore more, communicate non stop. All the best.

So OP, how did you meet him? What attracted you to him? What made you fall in love with him? If you can answer these questions then you closer to your answer.

if advice must solve your problems then,both of you must visit a counselor. You alone can't solve this problem.

Are you sure you married a real virgin .

Ariza:


.

Why are you crying? Are you not wiser than men again?

Ariza:
I read a thread here sometimes ago where Men were advised to marry and learn to love those who love them and only use and dump those they love.I asked how does one learn to love but my question was left unanswered, the ones who tried to answer only danced around it. No procedure or How to was provided and I laughed. How men bask judiciously in so much ignorance amuse me! They believe women learn to love so they can do it too.But only the wise one would ask how women easily divert this so called love on their children as soon as they are born neglecting the fathers. Was the love ever there?


The truth is you can never learn to love, you can only learn to appreciate.Love is not something you can create but Gratitude, you can. The misconception comes when people mix up love and gratitude. Contrary to what we see movies like a man learning to love the woman he was force to marry, No! he only learned to appreciate and live with the woman after his brain has been reconfigured by a terrible situation that might have caused him to lose the Good woman.

Op, you can't learn to love. You can only learn to appreciate, learn to be with and learn to accept your Man. In this case, look at the positive sides of things, compare his good qualities to what others do not have and accept him. I wish you luck.

thanks alot for this

merit1988:
thanks alot for this

You are welcome.

farady:
So OP, how did you meet him? What attracted you to him? What made you fall in love with him? If you can answer these questions then you closer to your answer.

ur right

Easybela:
if advice must solve your problems then,both of you must visit a counselor. You alone can't solve this problem.

hmmmmmmmm....

merit1988:
ur right

Oya share your answers with us.

Sirvingeo:
Are you sure you married a real virgin .

is that the best u have to offer? dumb question sir

Love is deep and only those who were able to fully understand it's nature live happily ever as couples.
Questions you need answer are simply,was he your choice or he was forced on you?
Also since you have already gone into the union,you just have to look at the brighter side of things.Specifically what made you attracted to him.
Also it won't be easy try to live your life,don't be always conscious in doing things,don't always try to please.
Just live your life and be you.
Am sure the crazy feeling of not feeling your marriage will go.

stinflame:
Love is deep and only those who were able to fully understand it's nature live happily ever as couples.
Questions you need answer are simply,was he your choice or he was forced on you?
Also since you have already gone into the union,you just have to look at the brighter side of things.Specifically what made you attracted to him.
Also it won't be easy try to live your life,don't be always conscious in doing things,don't always try to please.
Just live your life and be you.
Am sure the crazy feeling of not feeling your marriage will go.

okk... thanks so much for this

You need to make sure your wife always does want you need, sometimes a little slap can go a long way.

it is only you that can make your marriage work and happy because you already know where it is itching you

merit1988:
is that the best u have to offer? dumb question sir

Most virgin I know enjoy their marriage .

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

This is reason I always say 1 or 2 heartbreak b4 marriage Is a blessing after all...