mechanics:
hmmmm, remember a problem shared is half solved, tell him the truth.

Shebi I just shared

Trimque2k1:
This is reason I always say 1 or 2 heartbreak b4 marriage Is a blessing after all...

This comment is under rated!!!

petitejolie:
can u imagine and the bible will never do DAT to a woman. Even Jesus did not say such about the the prostitute he met at the well side.

Very dumb comparison.

-

Hmmm

MrBrownJay1:
sadly...there is no way to build love where there isnt any foundation for love to grow... the foundation is messed up from the get go. dont believe the hype that people say that you can love someone irrespective of what you guys share/feel for one another, thats a damn LIE!

you should learn to respect this person, learn to stay positive about your not so great position, and do whats right with the choices you've made... but the reality is that love would NEVER cherish from such union.

What you just wrote is not true. Love can be found in any relationship.

She and hubby should seek out certified counselors.

If u want to have good and successful marriage,forget about love build d friendship u will prefer it than love,love comes with it's up and down which u can't even stand d test of time,nobody should get married because he or she is inlove that shit fades off real fast....

Evebeautyworld2:
If u want to have good and successful marriage,forget about love build d friendship u will prefer it than love,love comes with it's up and down which u can't even stand d test of time,nobody should get married because he or she is inlove that shit fades off real fast....

ok.... thanks alot

BeachTime:
Read this book and thank me later

ok I'll check it out... thanks alot

killmods:

Shebi I just shared

hahahaha, not only here na, but mind who you share it with o, not everyone can keep secrets o, like I said, prayer is the key and you know whatever we confess with our tongue comes to pass, so just pray about it.

Evebeautyworld2:
If u want to have good and successful marriage,forget about love build d friendship u will prefer it than love,love comes with it's up and down which u can't even stand d test of time,nobody should get married because he or she is inlove that shit fades off real fast....

WRONG THEORY

Pardon are you Married?

some advice should be taken with a pinch of salt,because the above theory will never hold.

People can be friends and not lovers.

People can be sweet lovers but have best friends who aren't their partners.

Also people can be lover and also friends.

stinflame:


WRONG THEORY

Pardon are you Married?

some advice should be taken with a pinch of salt,because the above theory will never hold.

People can be friends and not lovers.

People can be sweet lovers but have best friends who aren't their partners.

Also people can be lover and also friends.

Talking from experience,until people forget the mindset of getting married because of love there won't be issues people fail to realise that love doesn't hold marriage...

You need to make a conscious decision to make your marriage work. Try spending more time with your partner and make it feel like a pleasure you always look forward to.

Spend time talking, find something about him to like and be more expressional especially with your emotions. Improve on your sex life with him.

Pray about it, especially about the part you can't share....

Firstnebo:


What you just wrote is not true. Love can be found in any relationship.

She and hubby should seek out certified counselors.

yes love can be found in any relationship provided both person are ready/willing/able to LOVE... you cant make anyone love somebody, just because thats what you wish. if love wasnt there before, and love isnt there now, what makes you think that suddenly these two people can discover love for one another?!

merit1988:
lol. .. pastor Wilson u mean? Seriously jor....no yabs

Hello dear,
sorry about your situation. It isn't something that cannot be remedied though.

You need to understand that marriage at the onset when you are both just starting the journey is like an empty box.

What you put in over the years is what you are able to bring out.

if you put affection and care in it you will be able to get affection and care from it.

if both of you contribute beautiful feelings of romance and love into the box, when you need these, you can just reach into the box and get them.

if it is only one person contributing into that box and the other perso is just taking out of the box without putting anything positive in it, then the person doing all the giving will become drained eventually.

sit your husband down and discuss this. discuss how you can spice up your love life together.

you both need to contribute healthily to the marriage box.

most men want respect from their wives, most women want affection and the feeling of being pampered by their husbands.

Above all, both want to feel loved.

read books together that teach how to achieve marriage goals.

map out your own unique path towards giving and receiving love.

sex is an important aspect of married life. it is not the everything in marriage, but without it, almost no marriage will survive.

sit down together and plan a healthy sex life together where you talk openly and frankly about what you want and what your significant other wants.

experiment, within healthy bounds, of course.

if need be, see a marriage counselor if all else fails.

don't ignore yourselves when the kids start coming.

have date nights together at least once every fortnight or once every week if you can afford it. it doesn't have to be an expensive date. just time away from the familiar home settings. let your husband woo you again.

and so on and so forth...

all the best.

FrLukas:


Hello dear,
sorry about your situation. It isn't something that cannot be remedied though.

You need to understand that marriage at the onset when you are both just starting the journey is like an empty box.

What you put in over the years is what you are able to bring out.

if you put affection and care in it you will be able to get affection and care from it.

if both of you contribute beautiful feelings of romance and love into the box, when you need these, you can just reach into the box and get them.

if it is only one person contributing into that box and the other perso is just taking out of the box without putting anything positive in it, then the person doing all the giving will become drained eventually.

sit your husband down and discuss this. discuss how you can spice up your love life together.

you both need to contribute healthily to the marriage box.

most men want respect from their wives, most women want affection and the feeling of being pampered by their husbands.

Above all, both want to feel loved.

read books together that teach how to achieve marriage goals.

map out your own unique path towards giving and receiving love.

sex is an important aspect of married life. it is not the everything in marriage, but without it, almost no marriage will survive.

sit down together and plan a healthy sex life together where you talk openly and frankly about what you want and what your significant other wants.

experiment, within healthy bounds, of course.

if need be, see a marriage counselor if all else fails.

don't ignore yourselves when the kids start coming.

have date nights together at least once every fortnight or once every week if you can afford it. it doesn't have to be an expensive date. just time away from the familiar home settings. let your husband woo you again.

and so on and so forth...

all the best.

thanks ALOT

merit1988:
thanks ALOT

You are welcome. All the best.

J111333:
This is exactly why I can not marry a virgin or anyone under 25.

Marriage is a serious business so it requires trainings from father, brothers, male cousins, boyfriends, classmates, male co-workers etc. If a lady hasn't gotten to these stages, then she shouldn't be ready and available for marriage.

Marriage without love is as good as cohabitation, no marriage counsellor or pastor can change that.

You guys should sit down and have a long conversation and your decision should based on that, not on advice from nairaland.

Even men that are of age act like babies in marriage, they show love and affection in the early marriage and ignore the wife later, leaving chores they used to do together to the wife in the latter year. The domain called men will be claiming they had a busy/stressful day but expect their pregnant wife with a toddler to get all chores done without help or complaints

I'm glad you said its serious business, Plus it's real hardwork from both of them, not just one person. I do tell my husband, "look up at our wedding picture, we're two in the picture, so we should do things together.".

FrLukas:


Hello dear,
sorry about your situation. It isn't something that cannot be remedied though.

You need to understand that marriage at the onset when you are both just starting the journey is like an empty box.

What you put in over the years is what you are able to bring out.



if you put affection and care in it you will be able to get affection and care from it.

if both of you contribute beautiful feelings of romance and love into the box, when you need these, you can just reach into the box and get them.

if it is only one person contributing into that box and the other perso is just taking out of the box without putting anything positive in it, then the person doing all the giving will become drained eventually.

sit your husband down and discuss this. discuss how you can spice up your love life together.

you both need to contribute healthily to the marriage box.

most men want respect from their wives, most women want affection and the feeling of being pampered by their husbands.

Above all, both want to feel loved.

read books together that teach how to achieve marriage goals.

map out your own unique path towards giving and receiving love.

sex is an important aspect of married life. it is not the everything in marriage, but without it, almost no marriage will survive.

sit down together and plan a healthy sex life together where you talk openly and frankly about what you want and what your significant other wants.

experiment, within healthy bounds, of course.

if need be, see a marriage counselor if all else fails.

don't ignore yourselves when the kids start coming.

have date nights together at least once every fortnight or once every week if you can afford it. it doesn't have to be an expensive date. just time away from the familiar home settings. let your husband woo you again.

and so on and so forth...

all the best.

Nice one, but I've realized some men hate to be sit down for discussion, they just don't want to learn/listen. I always wish to remind my husband I shouldn't be the one telling you to hug and kiss me before you leave the house. It's good I hug you when you get home from work, he will never think of being romantic before leaving the house or before going to bed at night.

Liztee:


Nice one, but I've realized some men hate to be sit down for discussion, they just don't want to learn/listen. I always wish to remind my husband I shouldn't be the one telling you to hug and kiss me before you leave the house. It's good I hug you when you get home from work, he will never think of being romantic before leaving the house or before going to bed at night.

you need to understand that most men weren't brought up in an environment where love or affection was publicly displayed. they never saw their own fathers kissing their mom or even holding their spouses' hands affectionately.

so don't blame them as such if they find such behaviour a little weird.

but gradually, you can ease them into it until they get used to it.

you could also lead the way. invite your husband to a surprise get-away or maybe an inexpensive date night to be followed by a wonderful sexual experience later.

if he is a human being, he will want more of that. then he will have to make that move himself.

all the best.

Liztee:

Even men that are of age act like babies in marriage, they show love and affection in the early marriage and ignore the wife later, leaving chores they used to do together to the wife in the latter year. The domain called men will be claiming they had a busy/stressful day but expect their pregnant wife with a toddler to get all chores done without help or complaints

ur right

merit1988:
good and valid questions uv asked ...but u don't expect me to go into full details on my marriage issues here ,when just the little info I wrote here has already made some people call me names...I have actually gotten some relevant ideas on how to go abt my marital problem...I appreciate ur comment sir

i bet, you dont know how to go about your marital problem. if you cant let out undiluted account of your problem, you can never get an objective solution here, maybe elsewhere. i no know oooo

truth is key to succeed in anything we do, lie and get bleeped

Well thought out.

Easybela:
if advice must solve your problems then,both of you must visit a counselor. You alone can't solve this problem.