So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Lalasticlala, Mynd44, Seun, Dominique, OAM4J, please push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

The earlier you mind your business the better for you.

You can see she is tired to the marriage, the only thing you will do for her if you really care is to contact her close family member and explain every information you have then you back out.

For the police case, since she has not made any statement you should back out.

try to get in contact with any member of her family and report the issue to them then withdraw from their matter

Hmmm

This is Stockholm syndrome at its best.

I'd advise you keep your son away from witnessing such traumatic scenes and abuses because it would be very damaging to his young fragile psyche. And to think that such damage wasn't coming directly from his/your homestead? Save the young man all the stress, please.

As for the couple, to talk put for husband and wife matter dey tire person jare

Inasmuch as this is a family matter, it is a case of attempted murder...
The man is to be charged to court...

Lemme set these straight fess...

Seems the woman is comfortatable with the beating cos of her ranting about father of children bla bla....

To the man, if you no longer need need the marriage then you Bleep off....stop turning an innocent woman into punching bag...
We need gallant guys over here in the force....come minimise your excess power here....
You no fit try am for any of my sister side...

If the police doesnt take it up report to the Social Welfare Organisation....

That man needs to face some little spanking...

seelawd:
try to get in contact with any member of her family and report the issue to them then withdraw from their matter

They will just bundle her back there to try and make peace.

skyblueking:
Inasmuch as this is a family matter, it is a case of attempted murder...
The man is to be charged to court...

Lemme set these straight fess...

Seems the woman is comfortatable with the beating cos of her ranting about father of children bla bla....

To the man, if you no longer need need the marriage then you Bleep off....stop turning an innocent woman into punching bag...
We need gallant guys over here in the force....come minimise your excess power here....
You no fit try am for any of my sister side...

If the police doesnt take it up report to the Social Welfare Organisation....

That man needs to face some little spanking...

You need to see how she was begging with all her heart that we should withdraw the case. She acts like he's a god or something, and his violence is beyond me.

computergeek:
You need to see how she was begging with all her heart that we should withdraw the case. She acts like he's a god or something, and his violence is beyond me.

Never mind what she says..
They are just rants of a mourning woman...
She's afraid of what the future holds pertaining to raising fatherless children and the satisfaction marriage offers...

You guys should do the needful before more harm comes her way, she's not thinking straight now...
Arrest that guy on the charge of attempted murder...

I hate nonsense!

I don't support domestic violence at all but I would advice u people to be very careful with this matter

PLEASE ALLOW THE USELESS WOMAN TO DIE.

Since her brain is for decoration.

Delicate matter but because of the way our society is which really doesn’t protect women in abusive relationships, I’ll advise you to keep your kid away from that family first of all, get in touch with any sibling or close family member of hers who you know and discreetly let them know about the situation of things. The issue here is that you’ll still be looked upon as the enemy but your conscience would be clean Incase of any negative eventuality

Pls stop drinking panadol on another person headache. If he eventually kill her, she will loose only her life not yours or anybody's own. The stupid husband will meet his Waterloo sooner or later. Stop taking ur son to that house of commotion. To the woman i say RIP in advance.