Relationship expert, Joro Olumofin, has taken to Instagram to pen an open letter to men about spending money or projecting cash or gifts to the women they are interested in.

Read his full post below;


Quote Letter to Nigerian men.

“Don’t start with spending money or projecting cash or gifts to a lady you are interested in “Based on Psychological principles such as “Primacy rule”, & “Learning Theories”, the first stimulus you present in an experiment if pleasurable must be repeated or continued if you want to keep your test subjects interests remaining intact. I.e if you start with something; that’s what you will be remembered for and also you must continue it because that’s the basis Or foundation of your relationship.

This being said, a lot of men today are guilty of throwing money, gifts, iPhone, bags, shoes, perfumes first at women before even forming any ” intellectual or mind connection” with their love interest. These same men later complain that ladies ask them for money too much, these ladies present them with a reservoir of requests & when there’s no money or gifts there’s nothing to talk about.

FRIENDSHIP SHOULD COME FIRST BEFORE SPENDING MONEY. The major problem with our generation regarding relationships is that ” sex ” is now synonymous with “money”. Men believe that if they don’t spend money or show off their assets, house, cars ladies won’t pay them any attention which is TRUE and also ladies because of peer pressure, unavailability of jobs, recession mentality, hardships believe that money shows love & caring.

Being broke to some ladies is a crime which warrants insults or derogatory names. As a result, you see ladies make references like I just met this guy ” he drives a benz, he bought me an iPad, he lives In Asokoro Abuja OMG! He’s a nice guy. How do you know he’s a nice guy when you never properly courted him. Materialism and Money have take over in our generation in relationships.

Fellas, don’t spend 1 kobo on her first, take her on dates, play snake and ladder, play ludo with her, take her to have drinks or movies. Don’t start with materialistic things. Let’s put a stop to Money before Love. Love should come before money..

Source>>>http://www.ogbeta.ng/2019/10/dont-start-with-spending-money-or.html

lab rats clearly depicted some brainless babes....they follow material things as rats dey take follow food.no sense of security.

something simple and romantic at first without the glamour of wealth is always ideal. Like a picnic at a park and all that.

First dates shouldnt start with excessive spending. Tends to trigger the materialistic nature of some.

but some ladies can only be moved by materials and riches,otherwise they fall for ritualists and criminals

It's only Nigerian babes that need such rubbish ; Oyibo nor send whether or not you buy .

Some people are so poor that all they have is money....

gone are the days in 9jaa as a reference point when you see the feminine folks stand with a man they truly love and build a lasting foundation with him. this mentality ended in the era of our parents and as evidently so, this is the reason most of their unions(our parents) is blessed with all sorts or riches and is long lasting because they started together from nothing.

I won't really slap all blames on the gold-diggers proliferating the entire 9jaa space as girls today presenting themselves as potential girlfriends and wives, I'll shift the blame also to the retrogressive cascade of the nigerian system.
as unfortunate as it seems, boys are actually trying (graduates and non) to make ends meet and stand out as men in relationships but because poverty has soaked and eaten deeply into the mindset of an average nigerian girl mistakes ostentatious spending on them as been caring as that way of life is alien to them. since buoyant spending on a girl equals care, maturity and love has now pressurised boys not principled enough to trash their legit hustles for illegal ones bringing in fast cash.

the whole essense of my little epistu is to actually tell us there's absolutely no need for a relationship expert on this one as this act is gonna go on for a very long time and in circles not until an average girl in nigeria is able to cater for herself, minimizing the level of her hunger and greed and of course maximizing her attentions to details on what she really wants in a man as expressed by the girls in the era of our parents.

p.s: although they're few, but I know we still have reasonable girls around not moved with what they see but know what they want in a man, kudoz to em' and I am not also against living a good life, but try not to be digging golds and you look so cheap and stuupid because of that, cheers!

Wen U start with spending and buying gifts, U must continue ooo becos d moment U stop is d moment she go begin find excuses and notice ur big head

I won’t even advise any girl to take money from a guy especially online . My dear , the best money you can eat is yours . I’ve been there. Sooner or later the sacrifices the guy made he won’t let you to drink water and drop cup.

May God help us all to gain our financial success.

I think a good percentage of girls knew this before now but most guys still believe the best way to woo a girl is to display the little they have.


When a man believe sending details of his bank balance is the only way to get the attention you weren't given him.

That's what I was told too
But I doubt if some of them would be willing to engage one in romantic and simple date without some flashes of wealth


Just saying tho

Ginaz:
I won’t even advise any girl to take money from a guy especially online . My dear , the best money you can eat is yours . I’ve been there. Sooner or later the sacrifices the guy made he won’t let you to drink water and drop cup.

May God help us all to gain our financial success.

You sef hear wat u called it " sacrifice" ... no one makes sacrifices n let go easily regardless of gender. so its not jus a guy tin

anslem04:





You sef hear wat u called it " sacrifice" ... no one makes sacrifices n let go easily regardless of gender. so its not jus a guy tin

Yes . That’s why I said the money a girl can enjoy fully is hers. While some guys genuinely can help a girl and let go, others causes problems. So my advise is every girl should try as much as possible to be financially stable.

Ginaz:


Yes . That’s why I said the money a girl can enjoy fully is hers. While some guys genuinely can help a girl and let go, others causes problems. So my advise is every girl should try as much as possible to be financially stable.

from my xperiment, the problem is not all about bin financially stable, even gurls that are earning cool money enough 4 bachelorettes still demand money from there bf.
women jus av d sense of entitlement to men's money ... so many times i ask what do gurls really do with there money ...alway broke even wen acc bal. say otherwise

anslem04:




from my xperiment, the problem is not all about bin financially stable, even gurls that are earning cool money enough 4 bachelorettes still demand money from there bf.
women jus av d sense of entitlement to men's money ... so many times i ask what do gurls really do with there money ...alway broke even wen acc bal. say otherwise

You may be right and may be not . It depends on the individuals involved. Don’t generalize it.

Ginaz:


You may be right and may be not . It depends on the individuals involved. Don’t generalize it.

Are you aware that 70% even 60% is gud enough to draw conclusions on subject matters, hypothesis or sampling.
The major difference between a financial stable woman n jobless gurl is one can take care of hersef witout a man while d major similarity is all women jus want there man to spend on them.

Uyiii:
gone are the days in 9jaa as a reference point when you see the feminine folks stand with a man they truly love and build a lasting foundation with him. this mentality ended in the era of our parents and as evidently so, this is the reason most of their unions(our parents) is blessed with all sorts or riches and is long lasting because they started together from nothing.

I won't really slap all blames on the gold-diggers proliferating the entire 9jaa space as girls today presenting themselves as potential girlfriends and wives, I'll shift the blame also to the retrogressive cascade of the nigerian system.
as unfortunate as it seems, boys are actually trying (graduates and non) to make ends meet and stand out as men in relationships but because poverty has soaked and eaten deeply into the mindset of an average nigerian girl mistakes ostentatious spending on them as been caring as that way of life is alien to them. since buoyant spending on a girl equals care, maturity and love has now pressurised boys not principled enough to trash their legit hustles for illegal ones bringing in fast cash.

the whole essense of my little epistu is to actually tell us there's absolutely no need for a relationship expert on this one as this act is gonna go on for a very long time and in circles not until an average girl in nigeria is able to cater for herself, minimizing the level of her hunger and greed and of course maximizing her attentions to details on what she really wants in a man as expressed by the girls in the era of our parents.

p.s: although they're few, but I know we still have reasonable girls around not moved with what they see but know what they want in a man, kudoz to em' and I am not also against living a good life, but try not to be digging golds and you look so cheap and stuupid because of that, cheers!

I concur with u totally particularly with the regression of the country economy which has contributed largely to the whole scenario even Politician, Yahoo boys, our Males Yeyebrities and society at large are not excluded the way they treat/place these girls. am not of the opinion not to take care of ur girl but don't do it in a puerile manner their puerile spending toward girls has turned them to be gold diggers which made them turn relationship to business. an average guy of 15yrs has d crazy mentality of making good cash before getting closer to female folks for relationship see d way we guys are seeing them *COMMODITY*

Florblu:
I think a good percentage of girls knew this before now but most guys still believe the best way to woo a girl is to display the little they have.


When a man believe sending details of his bank balance is the only way to get the attention you weren't given him.

Haa

anslem04:




Are you aware that 70% even 60% is gud enough to draw conclusions on subject matters, hypothesis or sampling.
The major difference between a financial stable woman n jobless gurl is one can take care of hersef witout a man while d major similarity is all women jus want there man to spend on them.

I have been trying to quash it but I don't think I can bear it anymore..

please can you stop using THERE instead of THEIR.

Girls take men as their primary source of income. Relationships to them is a business arrangement, and Mariage is a job.

internationalman:

I have been trying to quash it but I don't think I can bear it anymore..

please can you stop using THERE instead of THEIR.

sorry if it nauseates you ... wil keep that in mind

Ginaz:
I won’t even advise any girl to take money from a guy especially online . My dear , the best money you can eat is yours . I’ve been there. Sooner or later the sacrifices the guy made he won’t let you to drink water and drop cup.

May God help us all to gain our financial success.

Atleast, first of all, admit that he gave you money.
Then add that he never saw you or met you before he gave it to you on multiple occasions.

Let them know also that he made his intentions known from the beginning that he was interested in dating you, you knew from the beginning that you didn't want to date him but you still collected money from him on multiple occasions.
You even wanted him to drop as much as 100 - 200k.

Then you later turned around to say by stating that "You cannot date someone that is financially stable" because he could not give you more money or show you receipts of more income while he was building his house and investing in his business..

Also tell them that you made it a source of pride and achievement to continuously state that there was a long list of guys who were constantly waiting for you to say yes.
Who knows if you were finessing them for cash as well.

Why did you forget to mention that you agreed to see him and then changed your mind and consequently refused to see him claiming that you wanted someone that was financially stable.

But your search for financial stability did not and does not stop you from collecting money from those you have deemed "financially unstable".

Someone that has not left their mama's house wanted someone to book flight to come and see them.

Also add that you started giving conditions just because he wanted to see you.
You wanted him to come back in 6 months and to "have all in place for him to settle down first"
So that your own will be to come and reap the fruits of the harvest and collect more sacrifices

Your Gold digging and Materialism is on the Next level.


But you call it sacrifice.
As per Nigerian Idol.

You're proud but worst of all.

You're a hypocrite.
You think highly of yourself and so little of others.

Did you forget to mention how you talk about the people that have made "sacrifices" for you in the past? You say shitty things about them, see them as suckers, all because they asked you out.

Then your hypocrisy comes online to paint yourself as the victim and the guy who made sacrifices for you as a bad person.

What are you a victim of? Receiving free money?

Stop coming online to paint a picture of a saint cos you are far from any image you wanna project.

Nobody is holding you from success. we all have gotten help from people one way or the other and there is no big deal about it but when you go on make mess of people who you benefited from there lies an insensitive person.

The good thing is there are lots of girls out there being asked out without an atom of pride or boasting. EXCEPT YOU DROP that pride of yours, trust me, the list of men coming and going will NEVER STOP! no man who is worth his balls will take your bullshiiit!

But you will keep deceiving yourself that it is because "Men can't handle you" or that they are childish, or that they won't allow you to rest after you have enjoyed free sacrifices.

You won't sit down and figure out that it is your rotten character that drives them all away.

P.S: You were not the first nor will you be the last to get anything from him. Dude will bounce back. A source never lacks, but the taker will always find herself empty

lazeal:




At least you admit you got money from him, also state that he never saw or met you before gave it on multiple occasions. Also tell them how you ridicule him with words like you can't be with someone not financially stable. Also let them know you never agreed to date him while wanting him to cough out as much for 100k-200k.

Also tell them how you make reference to innocent guys waiting long on your ass and you never gave them a chance as if it is an achievement. I wonder who does that in 2019.

Also tell them despite this, you refuse to see him after agreeing to and tell them you ask the guy to come back 6 months time when he had left his base, by flight and when has put all things in place to settle down. What an insult!

Your pride STINKS! Your problem is you are forking too proud and too hypocritical. You think so highly of yourself and little of others.

Whoever read this comment of yours now will think the guy you are referring to is an evil person. They will not know you triggered him and took his gentility for granted, insulted him overtly, covertly and subtly for long until he could not take it anymore and when he stood against you, you called him childish, brain of teenager and all whatnot.

You think so little of men because they ask you out, you say shitty things behind their back and you think it is cool.

Stop coming online to paint a picture of a saint cos you are far from any image you wanna project.

Nobody is holding you from success. we all have gotten help from people one way or the other and there is no big deal about it but when you go on make mess of people who you benefited from there lies an insensitive person.

The good thing is there are lots of girls out there being asked out without an atom of pride or boasting. EXCEPT YOU DROP that pride of yours, trust me, the list of men coming and going will NEVER STOP! no man who is worth his balls will take your bullshiiit!


P.S: It is your insensitivity, pride and belittling of men that got him pissed. It has nothing to do with money. You were not the first nor will you be the last to get anything from him. Dude will bounce back.

Are you the guy she spoke about? Just want to know.

ugofulfilled:

Are you the guy she spoke about? Just want to know.

I think my post is explanatory enough.