lefulefu:
some guys do date and get married to single moms but me i cant deal oo.u marry single mom then u will have to contend with the baby daddy.na everyday the baby daddy go dey carry fight come ur house cos most baby daddies get jealous when the mother of their child moves on and get married.na hell for the guy who is dating d single mother.i am relating to how it is in naija.MrBrownJay1 you might not understand since u based in europe and europe dating scene is quite different from naija.It has nothing to do with culture but the wahala u will get from the baby daddy..except maybe if he"s late sha.

luminouz:

Lol...I get your point

So he is based in Europe? Not bad!!!

lefulefu:
that explains why he prefers single moms nau .u know those white ladies who are single moms dem no dey tolerate any rubbish from baby daddy if they are in another relationship .any connection with the baby daddy is strictly about the child and if baby daddy tries to intrude in her relationship she calls it stalking and calls the police .

lefulefu:
that explains why he prefers single moms nau .u know those white ladies who are single moms dem no dey tolerate any rubbish from baby daddy if they are in another relationship .any connection with the baby daddy is strictly about the child and if baby daddy tries to intrude in her relationship she calls it stalking and calls the police .

luminouz:

Lol...I get your point
So he is based in Europe? Not bad!!!

MrBrownJay1:


bro, all the above is "assumptions" driven by insecurities... you are afraid of a baby daddy (or believe he will bring only fight), before even getting to know a single mother. you already believe that there will be issues that would be too difficult for you to handle, in that said relationship. it is a bit far fetched, dont you think?

some of these single mothers could be 100 times better than many of the good for nothing broke aaass begging oloshos (with no babies) out there, and the only way to find which one is good for you, is by getting to know each and every one of them fully before you can judge/dismiss her. dismissing a woman without knowing anything about her (simply because she has a child) is wrong IMHO in so many ways... especially if your excuses are "baby daddy will always be in the picture" OR "she will always have contact with baby daddy" OR "she will love the child more than me"... thats just the Oxford dictionary definition of being IMMATURE/INSECURE or having LOW SELF ESTEEM.

MrBrownJay1:


nah i am currently based in South America... but that aint the point.

MrBrownJay1:


nah bro...that aint the case, as there are good for nothing broke aaass begging women all over the world.

i believe in giving ALL women a chance, unless she has shown that she was no good. having a baby is certainly NOT a reason to believe that a woman is no good.

lefulefu:
in nigeria there are many difficulties to summont when with a single mom.its not about low self esteem.there will be distraction from the baby daddy and divided loyalty in the sense that she still holds her loyalty to the father of her child and loyalty to you.
if there is tension she will go back to the baby daddy because after all he"s the father of her child.

and when it comes to raising the child she might become defensive and spill it to u that u not his or her father

dating a single mom in naija is stressful for a single guy and dats why many guys here are saying they cant

its has nothing to do with culture.

the only type of man who could date a single mom is a single daddy or a widower or probally a polygamous man and there will be a balance because both have children from previous relationships..,not a young man who is a single and hasnt had kids before .i see a lot of single moms who get married to polygamous men though.

luminouz:

Lol, South America is super bae too
And for me,that is the point.

Why? Because,I'd love to be there too bro. I'm not cut out for the arguments raging on this thread

lefulefu:
anyway if u want to date one its very important u study her .my friend was telling me an issue about one of his colleagues who was dating a single lady who lost her ex in south africa to some drug deal went wrong.from day 1 the lady started giving him issues and no matter how he proved her love to her she never showed any appreciation.it was the guy sponsoring her son in school and she was still cheating on him and broke shaming him.bros had to run for his life .

JONNYSPUTE:
. Will you kill the baby daddy? Can you forget and dash your child to another man?.

FrLukas:


So there are no men who deny pregnancies or abandon mother and child? Maybe you should ask the single mothers on this forum how far?

JONNYSPUTE:
. As for me I ve not seen such and for you to even reason it shows you can easily abandon your child for another man.Dont tell me you can't because if you can't l,then no man can.Most people believe that a man can abandon his child only because the baby mama made them to believe so. I have a cousin that separated from his wife. He did everything possible to be close to his son but the baby mama absconded or relocated to another city with the son. Even when he found out the city and tried to initiate contact with his child,she twarted every effort he made. Just early this year,the guy remarried and forgot about them only for the baby mama to start telling anybody who cares that he abandoned his child. Believe whatever they say at your own peril.Its not easy for a man to do that except he is not aware of any pregnancy or child.Once he becomes on the know,he goes out to seek them.

FrLukas:


you are very naive.

Charleys:


How is he naive, he's telling you what has happened in real life and you say he's naive please explain.

Tallesty1:
Linda couldn't marry when she doesn't have a child e come be now that she is a single mom. Genevieve is a single mom and she is single with all her wealth and achievements, Tiwa too and the best she could get with all her money is fvcking a boy.


Guy, you're just trying to blackmail other guys without making sense.

Apart from the fact that most single mothers(who aren't unfortunate widows) are promiscuous, there are a million and one other reasons to stay away from them.


But before I go down to one or maybe two of these reason, I will like to point out something to some of you. You especially.


Single mothers should stop this always failing attempt to blackmail men to marry them.
For every single mother out there, there's at least 20 ladies that have not had a child who are still single.

If your being single is a result of having a child then explain these other ladies who are also single even though they have never had a child? You go online to claim that being a single parent is bliss and the only way and then come offline to wail that you can't find a husband? Who takes such an unstable person serious.

You make it seem like they're single because they're single mothers but truth is they're single because they have issues just like other single ladies out there. Women generally have issues, matter of fact, anything that has tire, engine or boobs have issues but boobs that have fed a child have complicated issues.


Now down to the reasons.

Which you have not experienced.


Women have undying love for things that give them pain.

High heels give them pain but they wear it anyways. Skimpy dresses makes them uncomfortable, but they can't do without it. You see them cling to shitholes that treat them like trash and then make you their best friend so you can console them when they are treated like thrash. It's illogical to us but they seem to understand it.

A lot of the guys that put these ladies in the family way are assholes so your woman, because of this their inexplicable love for things that give them pain will once in a while go back to this guy.

Women who suffered terribly in the hands of an ex lover see their child as a consolation price. For this reason, this child will come first before the one she will have for you.

I know you don't understand this because you've not experienced anything like that.



Picture this family.


A single father married a single mother.

By your logic, they're birds of the same feather and similar experience so they are going make a one happy family.

But that's not the case.

The union produced a kid but these kid was starved of her parents love. The father gives 70% of his love to the other child and the mother gives 90% of her love to the other child. The child they have together manage whatever is left.


Single mothers of today cling on the child without any reasonable source of income, so the moment you marry them, the child becomes your responsibility.

So before you jump on marrying a single lady just to prove a useless point, answer this question.


How will you feel seeing your wife give most of her love and attention to a kid she had for another man and you helped her to raise while your own kids get just whatever is left of her love? If you are okay with it then please by all means, marry a single mother and leave us to our choice.

I can't do it and neither you nor any single mom can blackmail me to do it.

And finally, blaming everything that happens in Africa on religion is becoming very lame.


Please note that all single mothers are not the same. There are many many good single mothers who are just unfortunate with men but finding a wife is difficult and I am not going to make it more difficult by including single mothers.

Hamachi:
This is hogwash.

It's ridiculous. I wonder what you use your head for, bro.

Is Wizkid not single? Is Davido not Single? Olamide? etc, are they not single rich fathers?

lefulefu:
anyway if u want to date one its very important u study her .my friend was telling me an issue about one of his colleagues who was dating a single lady who lost her ex in south africa to some drug deal went wrong.from day 1 the lady started giving him issues and no matter how he proved her love to her she never showed any appreciation.it was the guy sponsoring her son in school and she was still cheating on him and broke shaming him.bros had to run for his life .

2buffagain:


The difference is, if all goes well, childless women won't have to see their exes all the time and the ex has no legitimate reason of coming to where she lives.

But in the case of single mums, if all goes well, they have to see their exes in their living space quite frequently and also interact with them about an element of their conjoinment (aka the child) every single time. Everytime she sees that child, she remembers the dick that put it in her and he is always there, and both ex and child are always there, refreshing that memory so it cannot be a distant and forgotten memory.

This triggers unneccesary memories, and before you know whats up, she might just prove herself a fool maybe when she and her main maga are arguing.

Leoniine:


what do you mean @bolded?

And you based your thoughts on a lot of assumptions and "what its." So, it's very possible for them to be ruled out. Not apply.

You're leaving out a lot of factors. Things can go in the positive direction or otherwise. Don't fixate on things (likely) going bad. You cannot tell the relationship between the single mother and her ex. And neither can you judge the current relationship she's in...

lefulefu:
they are scared that the baby daddy might still be secretly smashing the single mom

Charleys:


We are all judged by our past.

If you graduated with a pass, no one cares if you had financial issues or trekked to school, or you had to spend time doing odd jobs so you could pay your fees, all they see is your result. We are all a product of our past. In fact you're where you are because of the decisions you've made in life.

Charleys:


She chooses to be a single mother.

luminouz:


I don't seem to understand your criticism laced with insults bro.
They gave their personal opinions, why not respect that instead of calling them names. It almost seems as if you want every man here to automatically love single moms.

2buffagain:


Your friend was a fool.

You have to mercilessly vet women before they even have a chance to enter and fvck with your life.
If a girl was dating a drug dealer, that tells me exactly what kind of girl she is based on her choice of man, and what mental blueprint she has been imprinted with.
A woman who is used to the drug dealer man life is not, in any way, suited for relationship with normal brothers.
Especially if she is the jobless type who has no means of legitimate income and was pampered all the way through.

A woman like that is used to being dominated and negotiating with hyper-aggressive types of men, so someone like that will not give a normal man peace. In their mind, one person needs to be aggressive, and if it isn't you its her...and she will hate you for that. E.g Women with that imprint need a man who will slap them if they step out of line and who won't be weak to them. They won't even report it to police (in the west where they worship women in court) if they get beaten, because they secretly like that shit. That is her comfort zone.

Women like that love punishment. And if you don't give it to her, she will give it to you.

Leoniine:



...but you know single girls do all sort of things, too??

What is it with you guys and your unfounded fears? Like, are issues peculiar to single moms alone? Na dem carry all the problems for this world for head?

Young, childless girls don't cheat? Do worse and unthinkable things?

And this coming from guys who aren't faithful themselves...

2buffagain:


Your friend was a fool.

You have to mercilessly vet women before they even have a chance to enter and fvck with your life.
If a girl was dating a drug dealer, that tells me exactly what kind of girl she is based on her choice of man, and what mental blueprint she has been imprinted with.
.

Alexgeneration:
Dear Wankstar, I already knew you would jump out with your baseless argument and root out a spineless example from your deformed assh0le.



With your single digit intelligent quotient you're already assuming that having money is the same as having good self esteem and self confidence,perhaps that's why no good woman wants to have anything to do with your sorry ass except single mothers who will hang on to anything that looks like a man to cater for their bastards.



You can foam from every orifice on your body while trying to give excuses for settling with a second-hand commodity but remember that "ONLY LOSERS AND MEN WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM MARRY SINGLE MOTHERS".


Go train her bastards you beta male!!

Leoniine:



smh. And your own hypocrisy stinks!

How did you manage to miss those guys' comments laced with insults, bullying and degrading words to single mothers? Dregs of society, smelly pussy, bla bla bla.

Could they not have given theirs without the insults? At least, that pcguru guy did. And he's here no more. No one's dragging him.

And you seem to think this is about dragging anybody for their choices? How so? It's fine if you can't deal. EOD. Stop cooking inane claims about them.

oyatz:
This 'problem' is magnified among well educated/professionals class.

If you are a young doctor,Lawyer, Banker or an Engineer and you now bring home a 27 year old lady with 2-3 year old son as your fiancee, be rest assured that your mum and sisters will strongly object to it.

Introducing her to your friends/colleagues will cause unnecessary embarrassments.


However, i have noticed that for Okada riders, roadside mechanics, roadside tailors, NairaBET agents, NURTW members or carpenters, it's not a big deal.