[quote author=iaamxavier post=83986668] I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self [/quote

LOL Brother that's a misplaced depression, I won't sugarcoat anything for you, you are right on time with where God wants you, just focus on your studies and all this will be past tense, moreover African parents are insatiable, I feel same pressure to get better and get married even tho I'm way better than my peers just need to have a good Job security before I go into such, you can't satisfy them just try and get some income in school to ease the pressure on them. Na money dey cause all this unnecessary reasoning. I see you during very well In your line, for you to even dey reason all this you are soft and want the best for you. So shall it be for you and all of us. AMEN

I kiss my teeth for you.

Na ordinary comparison your mom do and you dey complain? Wetin you expect before under the uncertain and harsh economic conditions of 9ja? You be indomie kid.

You even lucky get OND in SLT so the basic science part of pharmacy will not trouble you too much.

Nor focus on getting on with your course and breezing through with hard work. Dey complain there.

At the end who will still sponsor you? Not same parents? You never see anything.

Get serious and begin planning to succeed in life. And make yourself and your parents proud. That should be your goal.

We each have our own paths. Life doesn't end at 30. Some even change careers at 50. You and your cousin are different people, you most likely don't have the same personality or skillsets. So why the comparison?

I'm fortunate I never had such experiences. Just focus on making the best of your life. The only person you are competing with is yourself. It is natural to look at others but always remember their background and circumstances are different from yours.

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

Good thing is you have gained admission and will be leaving home.

My advice, don't go to school from home matters will only get worse...stay in the hostel if your school has one. Because you've been all over your parent's face for so long, it's time to stay backstage and off the camera for a while, that's how you gain your parent's respect.

All the best and congrats on ur admission.

On a lighter note, thank God say na little depression.... that means ur own depression still dey learn work for where some people own dey

Its not how far but how well.

We all using different watches.

I gained admission at 16 and ended up spending 10years in the university

Even when i knew it was over for me, I graduated to the amazing shock of my life. Got employed by a multinational 2 months after NYSC

Yeah, I got duded who graduated at the right time and doing fine even before I graduated but I caught up with them in few years and fell in their ranks

As of date, I can only give thanks to powers that make one breath.

Overlook those words and hope for the best.

I got duded who got admission early like myself presently in their graves.

Their is a set timing

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

LOL Brother that's a misplaced depression, I won't sugarcoat anything for you, you are right on time with where God wants you, just focus on your studies and all this will be past tense, moreover African parents are insatiable, I feel same pressure to get better and get married even tho I'm way better than my peers just need to have a good Job security before I go into such, you can't satisfy them just try and get some income in school to ease the pressure on them. Na money dey cause all this unnecessary reasoning. I see you during very well In your line, for you to even dey reason all this you are soft and want the best for you. So shall it be for you and all of us. AMEN

Depression is not the solution. Stay focused and dedicated to your goal. Search out various scholarship schemes. Several oil majors do give this.

What you're currently facing from your mum will be child's play compared to what you will face if you lose focus and come our with a worthless grade.

Pour all your energy, anger, sadness and dejection into coming out with a good result.

Edit: Extend your scholarship search beyond the borders of Nigeria

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

Young sometimes most of you are architect of your problem. By seeing yabatech you have spent years looking for admission in west without knowing age is a number and adds with you realising that.


I grew up outside my own state but I seek for admission back home because my eldest ones did same and once secured admission. It was only my eldest that gained admission on second trial. I gained admission immediately after my secondary education.


Mistakes you guys makes sometimes people like me doesn't show sympathy to it because if you had sourced for admission in your own area or geopolitical zone, you would have been admitted.

All the same brace up and take the challenge because there is always green light at the end of the tunnel.

some people doesn't even have a sponsor/a way to enter school, some didn't even finish secondary school, and you are here complaining about gaining admission late appreciate the little thing you have honey

You control your own destiny man. I had a cousin who finished secondary sch when I'm still on pray 1 we got admission same year it doesn't really matter where you are coming from but where you going

you are on the right track. Check what those in final are studying. I am not meant to belittle them anyways, however there are some courses one will study and use the remaining years of his or her life looking for job. It's not how far but how well. Your chosen course of study is the best. Do not be discouraged, you will laugh at last. Contact me personally for more info if need be .

Please you are on the right track; no need to be depressed, life examination may be the same but different question papers? Just focus and your parents will join the celebration very soon. Bravo!

[quote author=Came4amod post=83990201]

Start a business in school save and br strict with your time .. follow only rich and serious people avoid all unfortunate people .. dont mind your mom .. just let her be .. and have your secrets kept only to yourself ..[/quote
You are highly reasonable.

Nnamebuka:

I think he's not to be faulted but his mother who is bring unhealthy comparisons thereby triggering the feeling of worthlessness/depression

My father did worse. African parents like this comparison bullshit but it only makes you stronger and not depressed.

My mom is always doing same, I don tire for the woman sef, she compares me to my elder sibling constantly.
And if you even slightly complain about anything she does she gets very sad and upset but has been comparing me to my elder one and other peoples children since childhood.

Ignore her, I am 30 , read law graduated with 2nd class lower, a libertarian and Humanist. I did a lot to help myself in life, never wayward, but my mother has never appreciated my effort, without my father encouragement and appreciation, maybe I would have been a murderer or suicide today. but I am mentally strong now and my father is the one who will usually tell me to be patient and easy on myself , I quote him ''a man won't kill himself''. no matter how I try to show her love , it seems she can never appreciate me until I get rich. my younger brother is her ideal man- a religious and first class graduate. my greatest fear is losing my father.

Any relation who is fond of comparing you and making you feel worthless, does not love you but sees you as an investment.

anochuko01:
I hate bad energy, and I do away with them sharply without caring where it's coming from.

Cox I refused to serve, my dad started acting funny. I simply put him on one side.... It got to a point he reported me to my siblings.

My advice for you though is to face your life, get the little help you can get from them Cox is their responsibility and you didn't beg them to born You.

However, channel your anger into seeing that you succeed in school and life. Start looking for little ways to make money. A similar experience from my mum made me define at 21yrs the type of life I wanted.

Channel Your anger into a winning spirit.

In fact I avoid people with bad energy by all means. They can drain and derail you.

I hate Nigerian parents at times eh
Some of ur classpeeps that are no longer Alive nko?!
Thank God for life first ,school or no school

Walewestt:
Hey homie, that's African parents for you huh, my dad always compared me with a certain family friend that always came first in every class while I managed third at the most, now we are much older and out of the uni, she came out with first class again, while me the regular 2:2, but life always have a way of sorting things out, I'm extra intelligent, smart and I'm already established at 25, even own my own home but she's somewhere teaching for 15k, now I show him the distance with us and he realizes he's mistake but still cant change the fact that the comparism created a certain hatred in me that isnt suppose to be there, best I can do is never do such to my kids, always boost their ego no matter what !!!!
Hope this helps honey ! Stop sounding Like a girl and try to do most thing on your own as well.

Great advice, but "stop sounding like a girl" was unnecessary. Boys are allowed to feel.

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

U are thinking like the kid u are?

Now hear this

It doesn't matter when u graduate, what matters is at what age u will get a good job after graduation.

Some will graduate at 22 and wait 8years b4 getting a decent job ie 30yrs

Others will graduate at 27 and get a decent job after 1 year ie 28.

Jobless graduates are everywhere and some even spend 15 years in labour market.

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

Tell her you will fly and graduate next year

You have all the time in the world, just be the best, be the best version of yourself and no one else you have only one life to live so live it to the fullest. Life is a journey and there is nothing like "they finished before me" nonsense, it's your life live it to the fullest.

Sorry. Try and be strong.


Check out this app on google play store to learn how to cook all Nigeria meal. So elaborate, good for offline and easy to understand. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.toyonnet.nigeriafoodsrecipes

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

Don't pay attention to your mom. If you can look for a small job to support yourself don't ask her for money it's obvious she complains because of money.

Don't take the issue at heart ok. It's not easy to train a child give her all the credit no one is perfect.

iaamxavier:

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

You have 3 options.
1. Quit school and start a business that will help you leave home soonest.
2. Find a business you can combine with schooling so that you can avoid relying on your parents as much as possible.

or
3. Confront your mum and tell her to never compare you with anybody again.

The ball is in your court.

@OP, Please give me your mum's number. I want to tell her a short story.

Do your best and be the best
As long as you are working hard
Things will fall in place

Smh. See wetin dey make person depressed. See, not to take anything from this your matter. Life itself is funny. Have you paused and thought of how your future will be like. Marriage, kids and all. This your case is nothing as compared to these. Before you know it, you would be done with pharmacy. What next?

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

my dear, put your trust in God. The delay is not a denial. It was just because the Lord has the best for you nii. Just try and endure her pressure till you will leave home. Once you leave home, she & others will come to appreciate you more. Focus on your future and please leave depression alone.

iaamxavier:



Thanks alot for this piece

I'm I really sounding like a girl?

Help me with Macho write up

You realy are bro,when i saw your topic on the front page,i thought "na girl write this thing so mah check".i sincerely don't like what your mum is doing but you have to ignore her and take charge of your life...my bro graduated from unijos as a pharmacist at this 28 yrs and he's doing very well now...brace up and go get your future,when you secure it,your mama will change her "mouth". All the best bro

Tenshades:
@OP, Please give me your mum's number. I want to tell her a short story.

I was going to say that
that I need to speak to her mom