Fashdeejay:
I would say this to you, it's not what you want to read, but the reason she is soft with guys is because ur girl has got low self esteem, so she feels she has to give it up free, don't be surprised if she is still giving it up because certain people take advantage of her weakness.... You need to help her... Stop seeing her as just ur girlfriend or fiancée, see her as ur friend, sit her down and talk to her, make her understand what u are both doing, how it benefits her to be firm and more decisive in her actions.... Ask her, she may have been raped as when she was younger... Be gentle with her but be firm.... She needs you to be her strength

Hilarious to say the least.

baby124:

Am really surprised that OP is even equating the fact that he knows who his wife to be has DATED as her being easy. Did he not toast her the same way and she agreed to be with him? Was even honest that she had dated these people?

The world is so small now that if you are not a virgin male or female. The chances that you have dated friends of your spouse is very high. Even if you did not have sex with them.

So, because of that make person no marry? They are both non virgins oooo! Imagine? Rubbish. Anyway this section is known to attract kids. Thanks for laying it out jare. Signing out here, let me go and pepper that lunatic one more time

Pls let it go.
Please.

The guy was looking for a reason to let the babe go.
He didn't remember those things when he want to see her pant
Now,after sometime,he suddenly woke up from sleep
Tomorrow that babe will start seeing all men as promise and fail even the one she will eventually marry.

They always seem to forget what they promise when they want to see the colour of ur pant
Na today

See that babe, she will get a man who will worship her and help her build her self esteem. People like her are looking for acceptance. If he had checked her background, her reason for going out with lots of men lies there.

Preetychina22:

You're either a very well reserved lady or just one living in plain denial.
Most guys can have sex with 6/10 of their exes, even married women. Especially when the ex is better off than their current partner: sexually or financially.
Ladies will deny this but then again ladies are known for saying one thing and doing another.
Infact as I type this some married Nigerian women are having sex with their exes in different hotels around the country.

For real, I have just heard of it once or twice, i mean the okafors law and I thought it was just the movie that made people do that.

Eitherways, laws are dynamic, which means that....from person to person, it differs and whatever this law is.....these people just want to cheat

From my experience in marriage, I can say marriage should not be about emotions or the feeling of where will I start from. Once there is a bad trait or some not-too-nice experience during courtship, then it is a strict NO.

Bros please leave the babe and start a fresh relationship with a more decent lady. It would have been better if you don't know about her sex escapades or if those involved were not too close to you.

It will definitely backfire if you go ahead with a marriage, you will never forget, she may not change 100% and that will always influence the trust in the union.

For you happiness, please, it is a NO!

Davesaves:
my dear, okafor's law is very valid.. i'm a witness.. that law has helped me a lot. so don't say what u don't know

And you’ve met 100 people who have obeyed the okafors law, met not I heard.

Don’t say what you don’t know man...100 people?

Preetychina22:

You're either a very well reserved lady or just one living in plain denial.
Most guys can have sex with 6/10 of their exes, even married women. Especially when the ex is better off than their current partner: sexually or financially.
Ladies will deny this but then again ladies are known for saying one thing and doing another.
Infact as I type this some married Nigerian women are having sex with their exes in different hotels around the country.

Same way married men still pursue their single exes upandan. Yet you don't see women bragging about it, like it is the cure to HIV/AIDS.

I don't know what it is it with men and sex. Maybe I might consider owning a penis for just a day. Let me see if fcking plenty women and running my mouth about some gadamn law has some effect on my account balance.

What did Safarigirl do to buy this kind market bikonu?

Anybody wey knack, na for your pocket na.

No come paint the non-knackers bad.

And vice versa...

You don't have to pull anyone down to make a point.

seunfly:

Lol my sister I'm not a play boy ooo and I v never done such thing before but the law is in existence, this is what we man see everyday. I can count nothing less than 20 scenerios with my friends and their married and unmarried ex. Certainly not all women but it is so common and rampant that once in a while you wonder if it could happened to u.

I know some women came back to them, some went back to the women, some was accident and some tricked the women.
The worse that I know was secondary school fling, met on the secondary school whatsapps reunion group and the guy came to Abuja, went to the woman's house and the husband was even in the house when he visited for the first time, now they are seeing each other without the knowledge of the husband.

If you read my second post, you’d see where I said, if you have met 100people, I mean met, not heard about, 100 people who have obeyed the law, then basically it no more a generalization. It’s true.
You people act as if this law is universal law. Besides I have met at least, 20 people, men and women who wouldn’t go back to their ex’s even with guns to their head, 21, of you include me.

sassysure:


Pls let it go.
Please.

The guy was looking for a reason to let the babe go.
He didn't remember those things when he want to see her pant
Now,after sometime,he suddenly woke up from sleep
Tomorrow that babe will start seeing all men as promise and fail even the one she will eventually marry.

They always seem to forget what they promise when they want to see the colour of us pant
Na today

See that babe, she will get a man who will worship her and help her build her self esteem. People like her are looking for acceptance. If he had checked her background, her reason for going out with lots of men lies there.

A lot of girls have dated more than 7 men. Even some have 4 guys they are dating at once. But once they see who wants to marry them, they deny anybody they have ever dated . OP’s girlfriend is obviously naive to have admitted. Hahahahhaha. The day I read a blog post on how many men girls have dated and gbenshed, I was alarmed. Nigerian blog. Will those girls admit to their boyfriends?

Pafoma:


What if i have detached from these circles even before i met her, we had met and started dating when i found out about them.

I mean, what will their respect do for me because we dont belong to the same circle any longer. If she can prove that i will not regret my decision then maybe i might be willing to risk it

It's her past..so I believe.
If you know that you won't be able to handle it in future even after you are married to her, please let her go.
Don't pretend that you can handle what you know within you that you can't handle(from the way you are sounding now).
Don't make her pass through hell with you in marriage, let her go if you can't handle her past.

Dizzyrascal:
babe, no matter how you try to argue, Okafor's Law is real....it works better if the said relationship ended peacefully...I have a lot of testimonies from numerous friends to prove this...Okafor's Law is actually a Nigerian way of saying it. It is called by another name internationally...just check Google.

All my relationships ended well but I will never go back to those men for sex again, whether for asexual or monetary gains and I have met and can give you at least 20 people who wouldn’t go back to their ex’s even with guns to their heads, include me, 21.

Have you met a 100 people who have cheated on their spouses with their ex’s, met mot heard about. Is your law universal?

Man, please stop giving excuses for cheats.

pocohantas:


Same way married men still pursue their single exes upandan. Yet you don't see women bragging about it, like it is the cure to HIV/AIDS.

I don't know what it is it with men and sex. Maybe I might consider owning a penis for just a day. Let me see if fcking plenty women and running my mouth about some gadamn law has some effect on my account balance.

Same way you feel elated from being distinguished from the common rabble of girls wey never win 60 million before, after winning it; is how the average man feels after telling guys he lick toto of girl all him guys dey eye for long

GrabHisBalls:
Your fiancée is a free giver na! The economic benefit is that she'll help relieve guys of conji. We can't all be reserved.

Be kiaful..

Hey Guys!!! No point cursing and abusing each other please!!

can guys not just ignore people and stay focused because i honestly appreciate all that have given sincere contribution based on their opinions to my post, those that abused and attacked, still something to learn.. thank you too

Its tiring reading people having a go at themselves, please lets all interact, learn a thing or two while keeping the thread sane!

Thank you for understanding. OP

Guy it's better u JP I mean japa run for ur life pls, because it's dangerous

ameh99:


Be kiaful..

What's he doing on his shirt art tho lol

Is that the joke?

Thegamingorca:



Same way you feel elated from being distinguished from the common rabble of girls wey never win 60 million before, after winning it; is how the average man feels after telling guys he lick toto of girl all him guys dey eye for long

Hehehehe. Who told you I feel elated?

I get the knacking a hard to get girl, maybe an angry feminist , but the ego stroking for toto matter though? Do some outgrow it or something?

sassysure:

Nope, I based my post on the second story u shared about a guy

Some friends are fair weather actually. U make new ones, u discard old ones or keep some as u journey through life.
U find out that as u age, clash of interest become the determinant on how your friendship with your buddy can last. U may be a smoking and drinking buddies and u decide to stop doing such, where is the interest again?
U sit together and dissect women,now both of u are married, except u are adulterous, what have u in common again?
Most guys sustain relationships because it phased into family relationship( believe u, I know what I'm talking about), as soon as u marry and start having family, your choice of friends change. U can still hang out once in a while but it will never be the same again. Unless u have business interest together.

I have seen lots of guys marry babes that was once intimate with their friends. I have even seen brothers.
So I was surprised when u guys were advising the guy not to do it. But then again u answered the question.
Insecurity. If u are so insecure, no need going into that at all.

In my home town, like 10% of us marry outside( men and women), as long as the girl is not from your kindred, u are free to marry her. Now these babes go out with guys from the same town and most of these guys belong to certain age groups( age brackets 1 to 4), all these boys from the same age groups are like brothers and friends, now u have other friends too. The babe u marry must have gone out with one of your age group mate. he might still be going out with her and u will come and propose deeper relationship cum marriage. Babe see a mpre serious guy and makes her move. Your guy will even encourage u to go ahead. Maybe he isn't yet ready.

Lots and lots of examples. Have seen cases in school, work environment etc. There is really no big deal here unless u as a man is very insecure and have low self esteem.
Free my sister's abeg,


Sorry about the spelling. Confusion here and there

See everything you're typing here is exactly what I have heard all too many times and 99% of the time, it's always women saying it doesn't matter.
What's you women's obsession with dating friends in the same circle and boasting about it? I've noticed this with ladies, it's almost as if looking for where to cause division is an enjoyable hobby.
You even mentioned cases of brothers...brother oo
Una matter strong I swear.

Boasting about being responsible for ending friendships between friends and brothers because they chose to go against the unwritten G rule and marry you, is not a good look and certainly does not mean such women are special.

Forget all those talk about self-esteem and insecurity, that one na una usual emotional blackmail. It doesn't work on guymen anymore.
Real guys who have been close buddies for years do not automatically make new friends because they got married.

The kind of friendships Gs nurture goes way beyond drinking, smoking, and dissecting women. It's much deeper than that - something that a woman will never understand because lasting friendships is not something most of you can nurture for years without problems coming up. Such friendships are also certainly not something women can easily come between.

You will never understand this so don't even bother trying to make sense of it.

I don't get the talk about your hometown. So all of una dey live for the same area and marry each other? As in na village things or what exactly are you typing?

.

pocohantas:


Hehehehe. Who told you I feel elated?

I get the knacking a hard to get girl, maybe an angry feminist , but the ego stroking for toto matter though? Do some outgrow it or something?

Outgrow wetin...the memories are idolized into trophies and kept in their galleries or treasure troves to be shared as stories to their children and grandchildren.
There is this episode of blackish were the fada and grandfather were teaching the son how to woe girls

They are accolades to be shared with friends as bragging rights as they were alleged masters of the game

baby124:


Guy you are the one confused here! Charles will be king and he will make Camila his queen and nothing will happen. You want to bet? He has come this far with her, who will stop him? You?

This one no even understand wetin I de yarn.

Okay wait, is Prince Philip, the husband of Queen Elizabeth, a King?
Even married to the Queen of England, what is his official title?

You mostly just type for typing sake, don't you? Lol

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

Oga dont mind all those guys that told u to grab ur copy too. End the relationship and tell her why, that will knock some sense into her. Opening legs to any one is nt the way. Awon animashaun obirin!

crackhaus:

This one no even understand wetin I de yarn.

Okay wait, is Prince Philip, the husband of Queen Elizabeth, a King?
Even married to the Queen of England, what is his official title?

You mostly just type for typing sake, don't you? Lol

Wow. Didn’t know you were this misinformed!!! I am arguing with someone that is actually clueless! He can’t be king because he is not from the royal family and the Queen is the ruler and she is female. Giving him a title king will assume that he is the ruler and over the Queen. This is why he was given a lesser title. When Charles becomes King, Camilla will be Queen! You absolutely don’t know what you are talking about and you are ARGUING. Please do your research.

I sign out biko!!!

Pafoma:


This is my fear, my friends have not changed. Only her and myself so dont want to be dealing with unnecessary stuff after marriage and my story being discussed jokingly over some bottles of beer amongst alcoholics.

Let me leave you with a quote from Warren Buffet,

“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”

BRATISLAVA:
well, you still don't know. He said that, but you don't know the truth. When they quarrel and he mentions it to her, are you there? Leave all the strong-headed shows. In their closets they know the truth. Whenever I hear that they are going strong, I know that they are going weak

How do you know? Tou are responding from your point of view I am responding from mine. Maybe you've never met people who really dont give a F.

they are doing fine. I am aware of some quarrels which happens in every marriage so no biggy and to the best of my knowledge he has never said my guys bleeped you.

His eyes where open when he went to pay bride price.

You cannot honestly be sure they arent happy

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

If you do much love her that you really want her

Teach her how to be sensible and live a decent life

The person you are talking about is a woman that will be the mother of your children

But if within you, you are not really comfortable with her, stylishly withdraw from the relationship

Make sure you don't break her heart

baby124:

Wow. Didn’t know you were this misinformed!!! I am arguing with someone that is actually clueless! He can’t be king because he is not from the royal family and the Queen is the ruler and she is female. Giving him a title king will assume that he is the ruler and over the Queen. This is why he was given a lesser title. When Charles becomes King, Camilla will be Queen! You absolutely don’t know what you are talking about and you are ARGUING. Please do your research.

I sign out biko!!!

I said you are just typing because you only feel like making sense without actually knowing anything.

The reason Philip was never King is because he never held the title "Prince of Wales" reserved for the first son of a King/Queen of England, or "Duke of York" reserved for second son of a King/Queen of England.

This is the exact same reason why Camilla will not be Queen because she is not holding the title "Princess of Wales" reserved for the wife of the first son of a King/Queen of England, or "Duchess of York" reserved for the wife of the second son of a King/Queen of England.

Only a PRINCESS OF WALES or a DUCHESS OF YORK can hold the title of Queen/Queen consort after her ascension.

The last Princess of Wales was Diana, she is still holding it even in death. No living person has it for now.
The last Duchess of York was Queen Elizabeth's mother and the person currently holding the title is the wife of Prince Andrew, Charles' younger brother.

You're just obtuse and proud in your ignorance, it's hilarious.
I don't even know why are u are embarrassing yourself.

A Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla) does not graduate into holding the title of Queen/Queen consort in GB.

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

Cooked up story.. just to generate traffic.

May story you just narrated happen to you soon

crackhaus:

See everything you're typing here is exactly what I have heard all too many times and 99% of the time, it's always women saying it doesn't matter.
What's you women's obsession with dating friends in the same circle and boasting about it? I've noticed this with ladies, it's almost as if looking for where to cause division is an enjoyable hobby.
You even mentioned cases of brothers...brother oo
Una matter strong I swear.

Boasting about being responsible for ending friendships between friends and brothers because they chose to go against the unwritten G rule and marry you, is not a good look and certainly does not mean such women are special.

Forget all those talk about self-esteem and insecurity, that one na una usual emotional blackmail. It doesn't work on guymen anymore.
Real guys who have been close buddies for years do not automatically make new friends because they got married.

The kind of friendships Gs nurture goes way beyond drinking, smoking, and dissecting women. It's much deeper than that - something that a woman will never understand because lasting friendships is not something most of you can nurture for years without problems coming up. Such friendships are also certainly not something women can easily come between.

You will never understand this so don't even bother trying to make sense of it.

I don't get the talk about your hometown. So all of una dey live for the same area and marry each other? As in na village things or what exactly are you typing?

If it matters that much, why will a man propose to a babe he knew that went out with his friend

Which friendship unless you belong to a fraternity.


I do understand a lot o.

I grew up in the mist of so many boys( reason why I often see things from a man's point of view).
U know when your big brother's think u are so small and young to understand their parole

If not self esteem, insecurity(U even mentioned this in one of your posts,) let me add jealousy, what again.


Ok, pride?
Male ego?

U haven't told us why u think men are not supposed to do this.

This guy, this guy, na only mouth u carry for this place.
It's your type that will do everything for his woman.

I hope we will still be part of this forum in few yrs time.
U have mellowed down a lot, u will still start defending women very soon .

Prince Philip is a prince consort.

The spouse of a ruling king or queen is called a consort. In British royalty, the wife of a king is called a queen consort, but the husband of a queen is called a prince consort, not a king consort.

Read this 10 times. Camila would be Queen! You don’t know what you are talking about. You even expose your ignorance with confidence . Do you know what giving him title King means? When the actual royal is the Queen They gave him title of Prince Consort and not King consort because he is not a British Royal by Birth. People with King title are obviously more superior to Queen title and the Brits are not that stupid to give their crown to a foreigner and one not in line to the throne.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/amp29748471/prince-philip-title-not-king/

crackhaus:


I said you are just typing because you only feel like making sense without actually knowing anything.

The reason Philip was never King is because he never held the title "Prince of Wales" reserved for the first son of a King/Queen of England, or "Duke of York" reserved for second son of a King/Queen of England.

This is the exact same reason why Camilla will not be Queen because she is not holding the title "Princess of Wales" reserved for the wife of the first son of a King/Queen of England, or "Duchess of York" reserved for the wife of the second son of a King/Queen of England.

Only a PRINCESS OF WALES or a DUCHESS OF YORK can hold the title of Queen/Queen consort after her ascension.

The last Princess of Wales was Diana, she is still holding it even in death. No living person has it for now.
The last Duchess of York was Queen Elizabeth's mother and the person currently holding the title is the wife of Prince Andrew, Charles' younger brother.

You're just obtuse and proud in your ignorance, it's hilarious.
I don't even know why are u are embarrassing yourself.

A Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla) does not graduate into holding the title of Queen/Queen consort in GB.

crackhaus:


I said you are just typing because you only feel like making sense without actually knowing anything.

The reason Philip was never King is because he never held the title "Prince of Wales" reserved for the first son of a King/Queen of England, or "Duke of York" reserved for second son of a King/Queen of England.

This is the exact same reason why Camilla will not be Queen because she is not holding the title "Princess of Wales" reserved for the wife of the first son of a King/Queen of England, or "Duchess of York" reserved for the wife of the second son of a King/Queen of England.

Only a Princess of Wales or a Duchess of York can hold the title of Queen/Queen consort after her ascension.

You're just obtuse and proud in your ignorance, it's hilarious. I don't even know why are u are embarrassing yourself.
Has any Duchess of Cornwall ever become Queen/Queen consort in Britain's history?

Sir she is actually the princess of Wales. She has been since she married Charles

She's using that "duchess of Cornwall" because their marriage was not supported by the public. But actually she's the princess of Wales, she just doesn't use it

She is supposed to be queen consort or even queen when queen Elizabeth dies but if she is not popular enough by then they will use "Princess consort" so as not to annoy people.

sassysure:

If it matters that much, why will a man propose to a babe he knew that went out with his friend

Which friendship unless you belong to a fraternity.


I do understand a lot o.

I grew up in the mist of so many boys( reason why I often see things from a man's point of view).
U know when your big brother's think u are so small and young to understand their parole

If not self esteem, insecurity(U even mentioned this in one of your posts,) let me add jealousy, what again.


Ok, pride?
Male ego?

U haven't told us why u think men are not supposed to do this.

This guy, this guy, na only mouth u carry for this place.
It's your type that will do everything for his woman.

I hope we will still be part of this forum in few yrs time.
U have mellowed down a lot, u will still start defending women very soon .

Of course I am exactly that type.
How does that cancel out my opinions here?

Like I said, you will not understand the kind of deep friendship between men.
As for those guys who still marry women they know have dated their friends, check well and you will see they hardly ever hold down any long-term friendships. No principles or codes of conduct.