Madam carry your cross, na you get am not be nairalanders.

When the union was bubbling did you invite us?

I don’t care if you die in Nigeria

Spits... nonsense...

Are you sure he's not pissed up about your bad character? Anyway, I pray for you, God will speak to your husband about you

IamPlato:
You Should Be Slapped. Mumu

The woman no talk say,guy dey beat her ... he no Dey Bleep around ....

Na him know what’s he is going though.... G man got his own story too....

Most times I come across POSTS like this, I'll just shake my head. Most of these Posters haven't experienced the true reality of life. Wetin life don do me ehn, Make I just dey observe. Meanwhile u are not the first person to fall In that category of "My husband doesn't want me to work" I know some people who have plight that route and they are really regretting today. What I've noticed and the reason for the former Is "Husband Is currently doing well financially at the moment, Wife Is blindly In love, Ignorance, Insecurities. Eventually when things go bad In future. You'll start regretting. I don't even pity all these short sighted parents. The only people I care about are the Innocent Kids. I'm a Victim of short sighted negligent and nonchalant parents. I don't even think I'm going to ever marry or bring Kids to this evil world. Human beings can be very deceptive and unstable.

Mrsabuh1, I don't want to go through all the comments on this thread so I will have to ask. Does he send any money to you? How do you feed your kids?

demelza:
Nigerian women be like:

"I discovered he lied about his destination during my first pregnancy. I visited the hospital during my second pregnancy because he was beating me from frustration. He stopped me from getting job. He has another woman who knows everything about my marriage. He has always frustrated all my self-development plans. Am I being scammed? No insults"

Sensible responder:

Aunty watch war room, erect an altar and do 40 days dry fasting with midnight prayers since your destiny is tied to the marriage. Awon I must be Mrs by fire by force.


*Next thread jare*

Love is blind. She married a very dishonest person. I have no hope he will change.

Graxie:
You failed to do your homework well, you just wanted to be married. You forgave lying first, that Canada stuff was a big red flag, you forgave no visitation and abuse, you forgave cheating, then you got a job and gave it up because you were missing your kids. Now he has abandon you and the kids, you are a graduate, your kind of reasoning is horrible. You are suppose to know that children less than 18 will definitely be with there mom according to our law, all you needed was a good lawyer and that job you missed. He knows you are the materialistic type, no wonder he promised you UK vacation without the kids just to mess you up. Madam wake up, once beaten twice shy, marriage is for adults who are ready to take responsibilities. What you have is not marriage, you were living in fantasy. I pity your parents for the trauma they might be going through because of your foolish decisions. Everything about this guy smells of scam, yet you couldn't see it. Better be serious with your sewing business while you continue to look out for better alternative. The fault is all yours.

as hard as it is, this is the truth! It's a pity

My dear, let the truth be said, he scammed you, my case is quite similar to yours. I was living with him in Australia, was tricked in coming to Nigeria for the holidays that was in 2014, now I am divorced, my visa cancelled. So my dear if you still have your UK visa leave o! Before depression set in, talking from experience. Cheers!

The only husband wey get vision.

GYMNASTIC:





Nne hold your breath and chose to stay alive, in case you are reading the comment here, pls take my comment serious, your husband has not scammed you, Your husband has a vision out side your vision, he want to single handedly handle the marriage to suit his vision, yes it may look as if he is being self centered but trust me he is not, the mistake he made is marrying a woman who has a vision and is not ready to let go of her vision in the name of marriage, He would have just marry a woman that is just hard working but does not have a vision.
If he mix his vision with your own he will not achieve what he really wanted in life.
He really love you so much but he does not know how to explain this or convince you to drop your own vision and allow him achieve his dream as a man and more so non of his explanation will convince you to let go of your vision.
Note am not asking you to be a coward but please send him a sweet text message, then take care of your children and be praying for him not to jam the wall in the pursuance of his vision. remember your own vision will not stand the test of time but his will stand the test of time in future. use your mouth to rebuild your union. do not think he is seeing another woman. if i go on and on the post will be too lengthy. but a word is enough for the wise. Marriage just like life is not a funfair, many people that you see that stays married today are those that let go of their precious vision. if you want to hear more let me know, cos i know how you feel.

fafaafrica:
My dear, let the truth be said, he scammed you, my case is quite similar to yours. I was living with him in Australia, was tricked in coming to Nigeria for the holidays that was in 2014, now I am divorced, my visa cancelled. So my dear if you still have your UK visa leave o! Before depression set in, talking from experience. Cheers!

Hmmm Inside life. Actually there are always two sides to a story. So I don't judge one sided story because only God knows what could have transpired between both of u leading to such event. I can only but console u and wish u best of luck In the nearest future. Also I can only Imagine how Hardened your heart Is now. Your story Is just one out of the millions out there. Some people somewhere are even planning to execute theirs as I'm posting now. This life ehn!!!

Mrsabuh1

The real problem isn't your husband's scamming you but your dual attachment to money.

That's your no.1 priority and supersedes your marriage vows and your service to God.

You both need to put worship to God as your first priority and all other things will be added into you. (Read Matthew 6:25-34, 1 Timothy 6:9-10)

True success comes when we make Jehovah and his guidance our no.1 goal in life(Read Joshua 1:

I am a Jehovah's witness and long distance marriages are seriously frowned on. Both spouses are opening room for adultery unless they both want to live in denial. We Witnesses are even urged to put meeting attendance into condition when seeking for a job. A lot of brothers avoid jobs that will affect meeting attendance. Our midweek meetings are 75% full. You can't hug your child over the Net

Your husband has become shady all in the hope of achieving material success. What's it doing to you?What's it doing to your children? At a time, you even contemplated divorce.

You have 3 kids. You have to think careful. You both have to think careful not only for yourself but for the 3 kids. Both of you need to put priorities in their place.

For some assistance, please visit www.jw.org and request for a copy of "Secret of Family Happiness".

60% women!

cococandy:


Who’s raising you people?

grandstar:

Mrsabuh1

The real problem isn't your husband's scamming you but your dual attachment to money.

What is dual attachment to money now?

GYMNASTIC:

Nne hold your breath and chose to stay alive, in case you are reading the comment here, pls take my comment serious, your husband has not scammed you, Your husband has a vision out side your vision, he want to single handedly handle the marriage to suit his vision, yes it may look as if he is being self centered but trust me he is not, the mistake he made is marrying a woman who has a vision and is not ready to let go of her vision in the name of marriage, He would have just marry a woman that is just hard working but does not have a vision.
If he mix his vision with your own he will not achieve what he really wanted in life.
He really love you so much but he does not know how to explain this or convince you to drop your own vision and allow him achieve his dream as a man and more so non of his explanation will convince you to let go of your vision.
Note am not asking you to be a coward but please send him a sweet text message, then take care of your children and be praying for him not to jam the wall in the pursuance of his vision. remember your own vision will not stand the test of time but his will stand the test of time in future. use your mouth to rebuild your union. do not think he is seeing another woman. if i go on and on the post will be too lengthy. but a word is enough for the wise. Marriage just like life is not a funfair, many people that you see that stays married today are those that let go of their precious vision. if you want to hear more let me know, cos i know how you feel.

The kind of comment that makes a person want to hurt someone.

Mindfulness:


What is dual attachment to money now?

Both husband and wife

grandstar:


Both husband and wife

Make it triple, they have three children to feed.

SoNature:


Will you fund the trip?

God works in a miraculous way. You never can tell whom He will use to assist the woman, myself inclusive.

Depressed101:
best advise.. I a suspecting he has another woman in Europe, if not, who applies for UK/Germany visa when Canada is saying welcome already .. Itz tricky, he's definitely seeing someone....

Her husband is not reliable. His attitude points to the direction of infidelity and lies.

extremelygolden:


God works in a miraculous way. You never can tell whom He will use to assist the woman, myself inclusive.

Uncle, make I send my account details

Mrsabuh1:
Please I seek advice from experts here as I'm lost and devastated over this issue, please bear with me as my story is a little bit long.

This is the 7th year of my marriage and the union is blessed with three kids, hubby and I stayed in UAE, but whenever I'm pregnant I come down to have my kids due to cost and also I ll be needing helping hands after delivery, it happened that when I came down to have my last child 3years ago as usual, I was preparing to return to UAE , I discovered that my Husband had canceled the resident visa for myself and our two kids, when I confronted him he said he is making plans to leave UAE and there was no point for us coming back and also business isn't moving as usual so taking care of us will cause a strain on his finances. At first I felt bad and cried about it but later I accepted my fate and moved on.

First plan was for me to apply for Canada study visa, the plan was to go with my last child and after sometimes hubby and my other kids can join me later, I got admitted into a Canadian college but when the time for visa processing hubby pulled out that we should go the express entry way, I accepted and started with registering for ielts tutorials which I did for 5 weeks, and to God b the glory I aced my exam. It was left for him to write his as he ll be standing as the primary applicant since he has lots of job experience but along the line he pulled out again and said everyone is going to Canada and he ll work out something different.

Last year he applied for US visa he was denied, he applied for Germany too, still denied. While he was doing all this I was alone in Nigeria with the kids while he stays in UAE but visits every 5 months. This year June, we had some issues that would ve resulted to divorce but we settled it with the help of some elders so he said he was going to make up for his mistake by applying for UK for both of us so we can just take a vacation to London, of course I was excited and looking up for the trip.

He applied for UK visa for both of us and lucky they granted us 6 months, I was already getting set and looking forward to the trip when he said he needed to rush down to UAE as he has some unfinished business, two days after he left I saw him updated his fb and the location was showing UK, he left without me and he didn't even inform me that he ll b going until he got there. When I confronted him he came up with the excuse that he needed to meet with some companies over investment so that way he can process resident permits for everyone at home so we all come over there at once, two days later he told me he got a job.

it's been 2 months over there already, we filed our stay for 10 days when applying for the visa and I know what he has done is messing his future chances up, now he doesn't do video call, won't pick my calls when I call at my own time, from 7pm he isn't active as no way I can reach him, before now the only time he put a call across is when he is in a bus .. I confronted him over all this and guess what,he has stopped talking to me, Wont reply my chats or even talk to me yet he reads them, our sons bday was 4 days ago and he couldn't even call to speak with him or wish him happy birthday.

I'm so confused, this is the man that I have lost lot of jobs opportunity for simply because he doesnt want me to work, I learnt fashion designing so it won't be like I'm staying at home doing nothing, I run a fashion store but trust me I'm not feeling it because its not what I'm meant to do ..

In two months time I will b 30 and you know how Nigerian systems works, the older you get, the lesser chances of getting a job I dont even know what to do with myself, please advise me what to do?

I'd also like those who ve an idea of how the system in UK works to tell me how long it takes for one to b granted residential permits in the UK so I ll know when all this will end or if it ll ever end so I can make my next move
also how possible it is for one to land UK and in two days he is already working .

I feel used, I feel like hubby used me to secure a visa and I was never in his plans..I reported the issues to our family already and he Told them all he did was for the future of myself and the kids and I shld endure but I do not know for how long..,I'm tired of this distsnce marriage ,its been 3years in distance marriage and its been hell for me.

MOD please help me post this

He lied to you, you can't get a job legally with visiting visa in the UK and you can never get permanent residency with such visa only if you are ready to wait for 20yrs to try your luck.

He has also dented your chances of getting the UK visa in future

tammie24:
can a woman with kids get a Canadian immigrant visa without the husband input?

My dear, you see ehen, when God wants to lift a man, protocols are broken. Let's assume it wasn't feasible prior to this time, but for the sake of the woman, God can decide to favour her.

[quote author=Westernlove post=84272304]

Hmmm Inside life. Actually there are always two sides to a story. So I don't judge one sided story because only God knows what could have transpired between both of u leading to such event. I can only but console u and wish u best of luck In the nearest future. Also I can only Imagine how Hardened your heart Is now. Your story Is just one out of the millions out there. Some people somewhere are even planning to execute theirs as I'm posting now. This life ehn!!!

Thank you,
She too got to prepare for what's coming her way, it is a long dark road to recovery. For me, I don't care who was right or wrong nobody deserves being scammed like that whether witches, demons, nagging wives or cheating husbands. Well sha that's my opinion ☺

Mrsabuh1:


honestly you are right about everything , what u said is painful but that is the actual truth, now my father blamed me ,he doesnt even want to listen to anything ,he said I shldnt bring my three children to him .while I was away I wasn't allowed to see my kids ,traditionally they said the kids belongs to my husband and I can only take the female child away but even at that he didnt even allow me take my daughter. he knew if he purnish me with the kids I ll come running back and he won .my father still blame me for everything and said I didn't give them enough time to investigate his family before marriage ,I was 22 and trust me I didnt really know much,I dont even know what the word RED Flag means , the signs were there and obvious but I was too dumb to notice that ..now its late and I dont know what to do ,business isnt even growing that much as the proceed from it I use in providing food .. I feel so down,wish I can turn back the hands of time

All I can say now is eyaaaaaa

So sad, I wish an in that position to help you get a job.

Please let a Nairalander who can help help her get a job, only because of the children please. Innocent little once.

But why is your dad saying you shouldn't bring them in, they are his grand kids now or maybe you never remembered your family when it was all good. This is one mistake so many make. Don't forget your family because you are married. What of your mum? I can't condemn or judge you. I pray God help you through it all.

Your family shouldnt deny you of the support you need now, cos family is everything and you are are still part of them.

Were you close to your husband's family when it was all rossy?

Keep applying for jobs, contact friends to help get a job. Are your kids in school?

I pray God help you, I can't imagine how you feel now.

Gmajor:


Do you even know the work of a divorce lawyer or do you think that a divorce lawyer is the same as a therapist?

I do. Unfortunately, you can't differentiate a circumscribed submission from an uncircumscribed one.

alfa0:



I don't come here to dish out blames neither am I here for men vs woman behaviours in marriage/relationship.
These are not my business.

I am only here to see how i can render a little help if I have any.
To resolve this problem and give hope to the woman in question if it's possible.

I am not interested in relationship/marriage games.

What does it have to do with church marriages or not?

extremelygolden:
Hmmm. Please try the Canadian stuff again, for you and the children. When he hears you have immigrated, he'll try to contact you.

Person when never see food chop na im wan travel?

What I want for her a a good paying job here in naija

omonikiba:


Person when never see food chop na im wan travel?

What I want for her a a good paying job here in naija

For her sacrifice and total trust for her husband, my prayer is that God lifts her up.

Mindfulness:


The kind of comment that makes a person want to hurt someone.

I read his post and was dismayed at the incredible nonsense he is spewing.

GYMNASTIC:





Nne hold your breath and chose to stay alive, in case you are reading the comment here, pls take my comment serious, your husband has not scammed you, Your husband has a vision out side your vision, he want to single handedly handle the marriage to suit his vision, yes it may look as if he is being self centered but trust me he is not, the mistake he made is marrying a woman who has a vision and is not ready to let go of her vision in the name of marriage, He would have just marry a woman that is just hard working but does not have a vision.
If he mix his vision with your own he will not achieve what he really wanted in life.
He really love you so much but he does not know how to explain this or convince you to drop your own vision and allow him achieve his dream as a man and more so non of his explanation will convince you to let go of your vision.
Note am not asking you to be a coward but please send him a sweet text message, then take care of your children and be praying for him not to jam the wall in the pursuance of his vision. remember your own vision will not stand the test of time but his will stand the test of time in future. use your mouth to rebuild your union. do not think he is seeing another woman. if i go on and on the post will be too lengthy. but a word is enough for the wise. Marriage just like life is not a funfair, many people that you see that stays married today are those that let go of their precious vision. if you want to hear more let me know, cos i know how you feel.

Ori brah yi ti gbale!! .. E sick gan sir! E need special attention!

Why not face Canada and do the waka by yourself? Get a job and move on from this man. He is going to marry in the UK and that's at least another 5yr wait.

[quote author=SoNature post=84272748]

Uncle, make I send my account details [/quote

Oga, I am a female.

GYMNASTIC:





Nne hold your breath and chose to stay alive, in case you are reading the comment here, pls take my comment serious, your husband has not scammed you, Your husband has a vision out side your vision, he want to single handedly handle the marriage to suit his vision, yes it may look as if he is being self centered but trust me he is not, the mistake he made is marrying a woman who has a vision and is not ready to let go of her vision in the name of marriage, He would have just marry a woman that is just hard working but does not have a vision.

Read what you typed and tell me if you have Sense. I really don't understand the kind of family you were raised in. It's probably the type that do not value women.

For your Information, a home is run by the husband and wife. That's why they are marriage partners. When one party begins to do things without carrying the other along, then there's a huge problem.

Secondly, what do you mean by a woman who isn't ready to let go of her vision in the name of marriage? Why should anyone in their right senses let go of their dreams, visions and aspirations in life just because they are married?

When a marriage begins to kill the visions of any of the parties involved, rather than making you better than you were before you met them, then that's not an ideal marriage.

GYMNASTIC:

If he mix his vision with your own he will not achieve what he really wanted in life.
He really love you so much but he does not know how to explain this or convince you to drop your own vision and allow him achieve his dream as a man and more so non of his explanation will convince you to let go of your vision.
Note am not asking you to be a coward but please send him a sweet text message, then take care of your children and be praying for him not to jam the wall in the pursuance of his vision. remember your own vision will not stand the test of time but his will stand the test of time in future. use your mouth to rebuild your union. do not think he is seeing another woman. if i go on and on the post will be too lengthy. but a word is enough for the wise. Marriage just like life is not a funfair, many people that you see that stays married today are those that let go of their precious vision. if you want to hear more let me know, cos i know how you feel.

Again read what you wrote and tell me if you Sense.

What do you mean by she should drop her vision and allow him to achieve his dreams? A married woman is not entitled to have aspirations or goals in life because she no longer has the hands and brain to work or what in heaven's name are you trying to say?

A married woman is not allowed to be rich, buy houses, occupy big positions in her career because she is married or what the hell are you saying?

Those married women you see in television achieving greater heights in Nigeria and In diaspora are married to men not spirits. That's what an Ideal marriage looks like. But you're a sadist; you'll rather see to it that your wife does nothing for herself in life, so that she will be fully dependent on you as her personal lord and savior, then you can control her however you wish.

You want to convince her to drop her vision for a man who has opted out of the marriage? So you mean to tell me that she should just sit and keep waiting for a man who is not sure of ever returning back?

You're very heartless.

No sensible person will take your advice seriously.

He loves you very much my foot. If this what you call love, then I pray you receive this type of love in multiple folds. Tueh..