godliman:
1. Bad foundation, ladies don't marry who they love but who is ready.
2. Sexually promiscuous society, nudity, desperation among singles, pornography,
3. Internet chatting and online dating,
4. Worker-holic husbands who have no time for their wives and otherwise
5. Lack of fear of God
6. Love of money
7. Having many sexual partners(Exs) before marriage

SBL28:
A myriad of reasons including but not limited to;
a) infidelity -
b) domestic violence
c) Family interference -
d) finance
f) lack of commitment
g) lack of fear of God
h) Spiritual attack.
I) infertility

For some it's for a reason, others it could be a combination of three or four. In this particular situation, if she fell out of love, I believe it's possible to rekindle the love. But if she never loved him from the start and she's still not in love after 4 years, I'm not sure there is anything the husband can do...

LewsTherin:
I am doing some research on marital issues for a lecture I am to give. So far, I have distilled marital problems into 3 categories and the cause of these issues into 1 singular reason.

Like murder, there are truly only 3 problems that create marital issues.

Sex. Wanting more sex than a partner gives, wanting sex outside a partner, not willing to have sex with a partner, any way it is described.

Money. Not enough money in the union, wanting more money from the partner, unwilling to let go of the individual's money for the union, however it presents itself.

Power. Wanting more power in the union, wanting to express power over the partner, resenting the partner's power over the individual, someone outside the union having power over one or both partners in the union, however it rears its head.

There is only one reason why any of these 3 forms of problems can arise.

Selfishness. Me me me. Only me. All about me. I don't want... I can't take... I don't get.... I must have.... I should be..... and so on. From one or even both partners. Once one or both partners forget or ignore that a marital union is now a case of US and not Me and You, then selfishness or self centeredness will almost definitely be a thing.

Funny, some people remain in their marriage for selfish reasons (where is Great Researcher?) But no marriage has ever been happy with selfishness in one or both partners.

Fhemmmy:


While all the mentioned are real and true, but what do you say about couples in their 60s that has all the money you can imagine and power isn't a big deal to either of them because they have power in the office but only see their other half as one that completes them . . . They have had all the enjoyment both in bed and out there by being crazy together BUT yet they still divorce? Meaning there is more to divorce than all aforementioned factors.

Breaststroke:


I actually thought of you when I first came across this thread. I thought it would be nice to hear from people with practical, real life experience with divorce, not theories or long epistles laced with inexperience.

You keep dropping snippets here and there about your case and to be honest I am curious. When are you going to give us the full gist?

I live by this code - meddling sucks in any area of life Breaststroke, so get some boundaries and maintain respectful boundaries BUT in your case I am in a meddling mood. It is after all an anonymous forum and we don't know each other.

My curiosity is borne out of a desire to understand how people go from caring about each other to not being able to stand each other anymore.

Modified: I wrongly assumed atheism may have had something to do with it. Now I am getting a clearer picture.

charles009:
I just finished enjoying a delicious plate of nsala soup with goat meat with plenty roundabouts and flyovers, i decided to cool off with nairaland and this story of how my husband scammed me caught my attention.

A week ago, a neighbor summoned me to help wade into his marriage (since the lady is from my village) he feels, the wife wants a divorce. Now before I begin both parties are young and unusually successful in their careers and lest i forget they have 2 lovely kids together. [i pray he doesnt visit nairaland sha lol] I asked a few questions as to what he perceives the problem to be, his answers were along the line of always busy, work etc. I told myself I was gonna try talk to the wife, after all my first class for guidance and counseling no be beans.

Yesterday, I visited the home and asked the wife for a separate session. which she obliged. I pressed for answers and prayed her to get back to her husband, not withstanding what has happened. I asked her if the man has done anything she finds terribly annoying. she kept a huge silence and replied, i don't love him again. chisos, I became increasingly worried cos this is a marriage of barely 4 years. as if that was not enough she dropped a bombshell, she told me, she doesn't know how to tell him but she doesn't feel comfortable changing up in their bedroom, she uses the kids room. i was left in total awe. In the end i advised they both go for counseling and most importantly pray more. I quickly ended the session, and while i drove home i was practically inundated with loads of thoughts.

I've got a relatively young home, a stunning wife, two lovely damsels and once its 5pm, I am always the first to dash off .work can wait,infact work can go to hell, family stays forever. I use to brag that if you see me sitting out, drinking beer with a plate of nkwobi look around well, my family is with me. This is just to express my deep rooted love i have for them. and I do not see anything breaking this bond.

so I ask, why the rampant cases of divorce, can matured minds provide some clues so we can all learn. Its an unGodly practice.

However, back to work.

Fhemmmy:


While all the mentioned are real and true, but what do you say about couples in their 60s that has all the money you can imagine and power isn't a big deal to either of them because they have power in the office but only see their other half as one that completes them . . . They have had all the enjoyment both in bed and out there by being crazy together BUT yet they still divorce? Meaning there is more to divorce than all aforementioned factors.

Breaststroke:


Okay, zaga dat.

Sorry about your situation, sending you good wishes as you move on.

Any kids? What did you guys tell the kids if any?

Lonelypacifist6:
My ex-wife was all the best Until 2017 When I was financially unstable, I saw her true colours. Thanks to my brothers I've bounced back stronger, the story is long and I'm too tired to type.

ps my mom has a French passport my brothers were born abroad I'm the only one born in Nigeria and she has a wealthy fam so I don't just know wtf got into her.

Fhemmmy:


While all the mentioned are real and true, but what do you say about couples in their 60s that has all the money you can imagine and power isn't a big deal to either of them because they have power in the office but only see their other half as one that completes them . . . They have had all the enjoyment both in bed and out there by being crazy together BUT yet they still divorce? Meaning there is more to divorce than all aforementioned factors.

Lonelypacifist6:
Was the wife a governorship candidate in any state? plus I don't think they're in their 60s if that's even the people in your example.