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What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? - Religion (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? (23595 Views)

What Is The Funniest And Most Unnecessary Testimony You Have Heard In Church. / What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Have Ever Listened To In Church? / Share Your Any Funny Testimony You Have Heard (2) (3) (4)

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Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by BluntBoy(m): 8:53pm On Dec 08, 2019
anochuko01:


oga, if you have a problem with it, face God and leave me alone. na today people dey get revelation?

this is somebody that would go into the villages for outreaches and evangelism when his mates were receiving lectures in class. so who are you to question the experience or what God does for him?
sam adeyemi and pastor adeboye had the same experience as students.

like i said in my original post, i am a church person and i even have more people with such stories. but what i have also discovered over time is that people who experience such end up becoming pastors. my room mate in school was also like that, he's now a pastor.

would you also call prophets cheats?

This is a lame excuse.

Even Christ asked us to give to Caesar what is Caesar's.

How can you be missing lectures under the pretence of evangelizing?

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Jhamzy(m): 9:16pm On Dec 08, 2019
No testimony is ordinary. Neither is there any that is weird. Just listen to them and thank God for it. If they are lieing, it's their own sin, not yours. Just focus on growing your spiritual life and be continually grateful for God's grace upon your life.
God's mercy I enjoy everyday is a testimony for me. But personally, I have had some notable and countless testimonies. For example God changed my professional status from local to international. I got an international job all the way from Nigeria. And now I am working across various countries. It is not because I am too brilliant, neither is it because I am special. I just received God's favour at His own timing. So its a big testimony for me.
You can't enjoy a kind of testimony you don't believe in. It is a spiritual law!

Lastly, I will tell you that, testimonies (both from the Bible and in the present) are the easiest ways to win souls. Without testimonies, the Christian journey would be frustrating. It is normal that after challenges, one should overcome and testify.

Thanks...

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by UndauntedYOCA(f): 9:50pm On Dec 08, 2019
Well, my roommate back then in 100 level told us of a lady in her church who came out to thank God for a 'successful abortion', like she had an abortion, survived it and came out publicly to say it.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nickymichy(m): 10:01pm On Dec 08, 2019
You people think going out in d morning to hustle and to look for daily bread...den having d grace to come back home in d evening and den d circle continues d next day year in year out is normal?..God thank u for everyday and everything

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by damoobaba: 10:02pm On Dec 08, 2019
Chubhie:
I heard Bishop Oyedepo say his poster was vomiting fire. I wasn't surprised tho cos he's the only self professed gatekeeper of hell West African region.

Why he has elected not unleash this fire in Aso Rock is still a mystery.

Apparently you don't understand the meaning of some of the words that is used in God's kingdom by Men of God. The hell Bishop Oyedepo used did not mean literal fire, it means SERIOUS HARDSHIP in the land. Unless you're from another planet, everybody in Nigeria felt hardship during the recession and some people are still feeling it. By the current exchange rate of Dollar to Naira, what your money valued back in 2015 b4 election is not what it will value now. if you had #350, in 2015 it was worth $2 and some cents but does not worth up to a dollar right now. The thing self affect Dangote. We use words of wisdom in the kingdom of God,we don't talk like dunces and that's why you see people like Bishop Oyedepo are on top in anything they lay their hands on.Go check Covenant University and Dominion publishing.

1 Like

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by DebrahDivah(f): 10:49pm On Dec 08, 2019
So... I just dey inside church jejely

Mummy Peter wan testify... She said God saved her life through her chicken.

She said her chicken has been crowing in a weird way anytime the Chicken sees her but she didn't even take note.

She didn't know that there's Snake in her bedroom and the chicken was warning her about it..

She later caught the snake and killed it... Then the fowl stopped crowing anyhow.

Praise God!
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by WriterX(m): 10:57pm On Dec 08, 2019
lokito:


You're talking nonsense. The writeup was like Nigerian movies with a bad, awkward ending, you're speaking English there.
grin
lokito:


You're talking nonsense. The writeup was like Nigerian movies with a bad, awkward ending, you're speaking English there.


go and see your pastor las las na spiritual be your matter mention ,tag or share lol I wont answer you good night typical Nigerian
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by anochuko01(m): 11:17pm On Dec 08, 2019
BluntBoy:

How can you be missing lectures under the pretence of evangelizing?
You have just proven your ignorance...
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by kingxsamz(m): 11:37pm On Dec 08, 2019
ijewejones:


I'm really high bro..i don't really want to engage you on ur silly word usage towards me.

But if you have issues with what God does/doesn't,channel your anger towards HIM. I only brought out evidence to back the question asked(tackle the evidence not me)

You see you're looking for e-rant,which I'm not gonna honor.

Who's ranting? undecided
I'm asking you how someone in such condition is a testimony and you're talking about evidence.
What evidence? undecided
Nawa.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by BluntBoy(m): 11:47pm On Dec 08, 2019
anochuko01:

You have just proven your ignorance...

You are the one who is ignorant.

There is time for everything under the sun. There is no difference between a man who is partying when he should be in the lecture room and one who is evangelizing when he should be in the lecture room.

Doing the right thing at the wrong time makes it bad.

It is good to plant, but you have to plant at the right season. Laughing is good. But laughing at a time for crying is bad. It is good to evangelize, but evangelizing when you should be in the lecture room is bad.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by anochuko01(m): 12:25am On Dec 09, 2019
BluntBoy:


You are the one who is ignorant.

There is time for everything under the sun. There is no difference between a man who is partying when he should be in the lecture room and one who is evangelizing when he should be in the lecture room.

Doing the right thing at the wrong time makes it bad.

It is good to plant, but you have to plant at the right season. Laughing is good. But laughing at a time for crying is bad. It is good to evangelize, but evangelizing when you should be in the lecture room is bad.




Na me reveal question give am? Lodge your complains to God and save me this commentary.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by BluntBoy(m): 12:28am On Dec 09, 2019
anochuko01:

Na me reveal question give am? Lodge your complains to God and save me this commentary.

Your friend didn't tell you the whole story.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by anochuko01(m): 5:35am On Dec 09, 2019
BluntBoy:


Your friend didn't tell you the whole story.

It's amazing how you know the whole story grin.
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by ijewejones: 6:26am On Dec 09, 2019
kingxsamz:


Who's ranting? undecided
I'm asking you how someone in such condition is a testimony and you're talking about evidence.
What evidence? undecided
Nawa.

The person is alive and still breathing is the testimony..
The link I added is evidence of prove to the question asked by the op(thread)..

You're ranting by asking me how is that a testimony & why should you say I'm high,what brought about me being high?

If that isn't a testimony to you,take the link I provided & walk up to God for further questions & answers..
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by BluntBoy(m): 3:07pm On Dec 09, 2019
anochuko01:

It's amazing how you know the whole story grin.

It is not hard to tell that he told you lies.

All you need is to apply common sense.

Even those who did rituals to get rich would still come to church and talk about how God blessed them in mysterious ways.

I evangelized too while I was in the university. But I knew when to be evangelizing and when to be reading or listening to lectures. It is a matter of balancing spiritual convictions with personal engagements.

Many Christian homes today are breaking up because men or women don't know how to balance spiritual convictions with personal engagements.

A wife who spends her time in church and neglects her husband or children is no longer doing God's work. If you fast a lot to the extent that you are denying your husband or wife their rights to have sex, then you are no longer doing God's work.

It is the same if you are doing God's works and your study is suffering. There should be a balance in everything.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; (Ecclesiastes 3:1-cool
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by anochuko01(m): 4:47pm On Dec 09, 2019
BluntBoy:


It is not hard to tell that he told you lies.

All you need is to apply common sense.

Even those who did rituals to get rich would still come to church and talk about how God blessed them in mysterious ways.

I evangelized too while I was in the university. But I knew when to be evangelizing and when to be reading or listening to lectures. It is a matter of balancing spiritual convictions with personal engagements.

Many Christian homes today are breaking up because men or women don't know how to balance spiritual convictions with personal engagements.

A wife who spends her time in church and neglects her husband or children is no longer doing God's work. If you fast a lot to the extent that you are denying your husband or wife their rights to have sex, then you are no longer doing God's work.

It is the same if you are doing God's works and your study is suffering. There should be a balance in everything.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; (Ecclesiastes 3:1-cool
k
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Augustap(f): 7:30pm On Dec 09, 2019
Hizzy:
This is my own testimony
I came to Lagos on 17th November 2019
When I got to lagos because I entered night bust by 3:15 we got to Jiboyi I called the person I will stay in his house, he didn't pick calls then I messaged him on what'sapp after 2 hours he replied me he told me no space in his house that I should go back
Tears gushed down from my eyes I couldn't hold it I cried publicly
I prayed and prayed I called my Elder sister she said she didn't know any body in Lagos
I called my mom I called the guy he said he doesn't want to hear from me
Then I remembered one of my kindred I called him he said I should come to Ajah that he works for company I want to him on that faithful day being Sunday
He bought food for me I thought I have seen helper I didn't know that devil was coming the guy suddenly changed he refused to give me food like b4 but I only had 500 naira I played bet9ja and won 23k I used 10k to play again but the games cut I played again and I won 13k I must tell you when I was at home I played over 90k I couldn't win but when I came to Lagos no brother no mother I started winning bets now that my brother that told me to meet him in Ajah refused to talk to me I begged him for 3 days that he should forgive me
Anywhere I have done wrong that I'm only a human being and I'm bound to make mistakes but he refused when the madam, the owner of the designing company that he works came and asked him who is this guy he told her that I'm his brother that he invited me to come help her since they said he should look for some one to help him but madam said since I don't have experience about tailoring that I should leave the place or if I can accept to be washing her clothes when my kindred told me I told him I accept to wash her clothes for 20k and my kindred want and told her that I refused that I said 30k on Thursday I called my pastor he prayed for me and told me God of eleventh hour wil give me work tomorrow

Then the following day Madam came , she saw me she asked me what I'm still doing here ? since I refused to be washing her clothes I said I didn't refused Ma' she said my Brother said I refused for 30k I said No that I will be washing it then she allowed me to Stay in her company I thank God even though the money is small it's better than doing nothing

I pray to God for a better job or for a sponsor in my music because I accepted that offer because of my music
Bros which kind English be this na grin grin

Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 7:53pm On Dec 09, 2019
Augustap:

Bros which kind English be this na grin grin
What's wrong with the English

Mr Brit man
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Augustap(f): 1:23am On Dec 10, 2019
Hizzy:

What's wrong with the English

Mr Brit man
Sorry sir
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 9:06am On Dec 10, 2019
Augustap:

Sorry sir
So you think you know better okay that's good
You know with Auto-correct we can make silly mistakes especially when making long statements
Like wanted to write bus it turned it to burst
Okay I accept are you now happy
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Augustap(f): 10:20am On Dec 10, 2019
Hizzy:

So you think you know better okay that's good
You know with Auto-correct we can make silly mistakes especially when making long statements
Like wanted to write bus it turned it to burst
Okay I accept are you now happy
No offense here.... But if you really knew how to construct sentences correctly, you'd have added some punctuation marks up there.
Peace out
Re: What Is The Weirdest Testimony You Heard This Year? by Nobody: 2:07pm On Dec 10, 2019
Augustap:

No offense here.... But if you really knew how to construct sentences correctly, you'd have added some punctuation marks up there.
Peace out
Na exam I de write I was sharing my testimony and instead of you to follow me and thank God you were busy looking for punctuation marks next thing you'll look for question mark carry go you're indeed the founder of English

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