Good afternoon nairaland fam, i need an advice on my relationship.

I met this man 6yrs back and we started dating, he has divorced with his wife like 7yrs back in UK before i met him and he based in UK. Now to the main gist. To be straight forward i love this man deeply but i refused to show it to him based on my past relationship experience. He kept disturbing me to settle down with him but i told him to give me some time because i don't want to be a liability on him.

Fast forward to last year this man got married to another lady he just met not up to a 6months, it really break my heart but what will i do? I had no option than to congratulate him and wish him well. I decided to move on. His wife gave birth this year, i wonder if he got married to her probably because she got pregnant for him or something, well i won't go deep into that.

All of a sudden the new wife sent me a message mocking me, calling me an ex. This a woman i don't know physical, this a girl that just appear from no where and got married to him, yet i sincerely wished them well. So why mocking me by calling me ex is what i don't understand? I wonder if this woman know how hurt i felt when she sent me that message. To be sincere with you, i parked on the road side and cried my eyes out, 6yrs of relationship gone just like that.

To the husband part he still want us dating but i refused, not that i don't love him but I felt disappointed in him. This was the man that showed me genuine love for the first time in my life, not by money because i don't request money from him, i have my own money. But you know when we talk about true love, am deeply in love with him, and am regretting not saying yes when he was disturbing me to settle down with him.

Note this man has taken the lady and the new born baby to UK since they married legally but he kept disturbing me to be his second wife and promised to do British paper for kids i will have for him. My replied to him was if i was actually dating you because i want to be a British citizen i would have settle down with u for long and become a UK citizen before u met that lady u married. I only told u to wait let me hustle for myself and not be a liability on you but u went ahead to marry another lady.

This man refused to let me go but to be honest i still love him too, he came to Nigeria last month (Nov) and we are together all through. My nairaland family, please am i doing the right thing?

Please put yourself in my shoe before judging me, 6yrs relationship just like that is not easy. Am confused.

That's the common mistake made by ladies...if you love a man and he asks for your hand in marriage why reject?

As for your present condition, leave him and his new wife , your own man will soon come for you

Admin pls move to the front

okpalaAnambra:
C

I don't understand your replied

Ladykiss:


I don't understand your replied

Calm down sis, your body de hot

Is well,

Leave the man like I said to focus on his family, yours will come

Ladykiss:
Good afternoon nairaland fam, i need an advice on my relationship.

I met this man 6yrs back and we started dating, he has divorced with his wife like 7yrs back in UK before i met him and he based in UK. Now to the main gist. To be straight forward i love this man deeply but i refused to show it to him based on my past relationship experience. He kept disturbing me to settle down with him but i told him to give me some time because i don't want to be a liability on him.

Fast forward to last year this man got married to another lady he just met not up to a 6months, it really break my heart but what will i do? I had no option than to congratulate him and wish him well. I decided to move on. His wife gave birth this year, i wonder if he got married to her probably because she got pregnant for him or something, well i won't go deep into that.

All of a sudden the new wife sent me a message mocking me, calling me an ex. This a woman i don't know physical, this a girl that just appear from no where and got married to him, yet i sincerely wished them well. So why mocking me by calling me ex is what i don't understand? I wonder if this woman know how hurt i felt when she sent me that message. To be sincere with you, i parked on the road side and cried my eyes out, 6yrs of relationship gone just like that.

To the husband part he still want us dating but i refused, not that i don't love him but I felt disappointed in him. This was the man that showed me genuine love for the first time in my life, not by money because i don't request money from him, i have my own money. But you know when we talk about true love, am deeply in love with him, and am regretting not saying yes when he was disturbing me to settle down with him.

Note this man has taken the lady and the new born baby to UK since they married legally but he kept disturbing me to be his second wife and promised to do British paper for kids i will have for him. My replied to him was if i was actually dating you because i want to be a British citizen i would have settle down with u for long and become a UK citizen before u met that lady u married. I only told u to wait let me hustle for myself and not be a liability on you but u went ahead to marry another lady.

This man refused to let me go but to be honest i still love him too, he came to Nigeria last month (Nov) and we are together all through. My nairaland family, please am i doing the right thing?

Please put yourself in my shoe before judging me, 6yrs relationship just like that is not easy. Am confused.

Please be patient, the elders are on their way.

okpalaAnambra:
That's the common mistake made by ladies...if you love a man and he asks for your hand in marriage why reject?

As for your present condition, leave him and his new wife , your own man will soon come for you

Not that i don't love him, i need to work after graduation, i don't want a situation he will believe i married him because of papers.

okpalaAnambra:

Calm down sis, your body de hot

Is well,

Leave the man like I said to focus on his family, yours will come

Hmmmm

Ladykiss:


Not that i don't love him, i need to work after graduation, i don't want a situation he will believe i married him because of papers.

You shouldn't have made such assumptions on his behalf, what do you actually want from him again esp as he's married

In my humble opinion, ma'am you didn't accept his proposal when he was pressuring you for marriage yet you claim to love him deeply. Just wondering why though.

Now to the main issue, pls stay away from that man, He is married for Christ sake. Put your self in his wife's position and imagine how she will feel if she gets to find out.

Love doesnt justify adultery cause that is exactly what you are doing.

The guy sef na wayo man, Yahoo man
God knows what some ladies see in cheating men. You know he is a serial cheater, yet you love him.
If you want peace of mind for yourself, better move on.
And stop cheating with him. He is married, you said.

okpalaAnambra:

You shouldn't have made such assumptions on his behalf, what do you actually want from him again esp as he's married

Am regretting that too. My pain was that lady sending me message by mocking me. Sincerely i don't mind being the second wife if that is what she want since she refused to have sense. But i hope am doing the right thing?

To be honest i still love the man deep down me

so you are cheating with a married man, how will you feel if another woman does what you are doing to your husband

that man is playing games with you.

He came to Nigeria in November and you people were together all through his stay . Sure you people had some good time as well . Why delay when your whole being wanted him only to feel bad later . Just be preparing for your pregnancy confirmation soon

How could you have kept a man waiting and hanging for 6 solid years, that's unfair.
I will advise you to call it quits forthwith, lick your wounds, learn your lessons and move on.

prizlezzlalasky:
In my humble opinion, ma'am you didn't accept his proposal when he was pressuring you for marriage yet you claim to love him deeply. Just wondering why though.

Now to the main issue, pls stay away from that man, He is married for Christ sake. Put your self in his wife's position and imagine how she will feel if she gets to find out.

Love doesnt justify adultery cause that is exactly what you are doing.

Ofcourse i put myself in the wife shoe reason i congratulate him and wish him well. But right does that woman have to message me, the annoying part in her message was

"Hi lola i know you are my husband ex, how are you? She sent it with a laughing emoji

Is her message fair on me?

Ladykiss:


Am regretting that too. My pain was that lady sending me message by mocking me. Sincerely i don't mind being the second wife if that is what she want since she refused to have sense. But i hope am doing the right thing?

To be honest i still love the man deep down me

With the bolded phrase, this thread is simply needless because it's obvious you've made up your mind to be his second wife. Goodluck on that.

How can you wait up to 6years and not make a decision?hmmmm you really let the ball out of your court. But the man is a greedy and selfish being, why won't he leave you alone after marrying a new wife yet still chasing you. My advice is to cut off from him and wait for another man to locate you in peace.

J111333:
How could you have kept a man waiting and hanging for 6 solid years, that's unfair.
I will advise you to call it quits forthwith, lick your wounds, learn your lessons and move on.

The relationship started while i was in school, i can't drop my education for marriage likewise i can't just jump into marriage immediately after graduation.

I know he truly love me too reason i never believe he could impregnate another lady. The marriage plus the time she gave birth shows he married her because of that pregnancy. I asked him how he met the lady, he said through Facebook.

What right does the lady have to sent me useless message? She believe she smart

Ladykiss:


Ofcourse i put myself in the wife shoe reason i congratulate him and wish him well. But right does that woman have to message me, the annoying part in her message was

"Hi lola i know you are my husband ex, how are you? She sent it with a laughing emoji

Is her message fair on me?

She can be jealous because the man might still be emotionally involved with you and she can sense it as a woman that she is. Just let them be. Your destiny does not lie with that man. Pls get that into your head.

bdchange:
How can you wait up to 6years and not make a decision?hmmmm you really let the ball out of your court. But the man is a greedy and selfish being, why won't he leave you alone after marrying a new wife yet still chasing you. My advice is to cut off from him and wait for another man to locate you in peace.

Honestly i want to end it too but am heart broken and confused. I just need someone to give me hope, am hurt

Hanty stop lying...You were never in Love with Londoner..he was just you plan B am sure...Plan A fall you hands and you then realized that Londoner Marry new wife..you became agitated... Now you have become an Intercontinental Hoe....

So many ladies have lost good man because of there nonsense I don't care attitude if you love a man and you are convinced that you love him why play with his feelings honestly please stay way from the man even if he keeps coming tell him you guy's are done

HarunaWest:
Hanty stop lying...You were never in Love with Londoner..he was just you plan B am sure...Plan A fall you hands and you then realized that Londoner Marry new wife..you became agitated... Now you have become an Intercontinental Hoe....

Well that's your own opinion, probably you are the type that double date and depend on men has your pot of gold. Am not the type

The relationship started while i was in school, which made it that long. I have parent to give back to after graduation, reason marriage wasn't in my head early. You can insult me from now till next year, that's your problem but one thing i want u to understand is i lola is not the same person with you. Thanks

Ladykiss:

The relationship started while i was in school, i can't drop my education for marriage likewise i can't just jump into marriage immediately after graduation.

I know he truly love me too reason i never believe he could impregnate another lady. The marriage plus the time she gave birth shows he married her because of that pregnancy. I asked him how he met the lady, he said through Facebook.

What right does the lady have to sent me useless message? She believe she smart

Please stop the he loves me nonsense. If I mistakenly impregnate a lady I don't wanna marry, nothing on earth will make me marry her. He lives in the UK so I guess he is civilised enough to have sense. He married her and took her with him and you're here talking about love, biko have small sense.
As it stands now, he only doesn't wanna loose your body (boob and backside) but not you. He wants to eat his cake and still have it. Forget that man and move on now that you can before you end up in Shiloh.

lyndaway:
So many ladies have lost good man because of there nonsense I don't care attitude if you love a man and you are convinced that you love him why play with his feelings honestly please stay way from the man even if he keeps coming tell him you guy's are done

I know am at fault for keeping him waiting that long but I can't settle down while in school, this a man am always around him whenever he's around. This a man that have children with his first wife before they divorced, so is not as if he's suffering for children reason i wasn't rushing about the marriage stuff. Sincerely am pained and hurt. I wish to quit too, I wish to end it but is hard for me. I just wish someone can just put me in their shoe before judging me

Ladykiss:


Honestly i want to end it too but am heart broken and confused. I just need someone to give me hope, am hurt

You have said it yourself you don't need his money. So what else does he want to give you? Not love... Because it is already divided...not integrity? He is married and yet chasing you again. Just open your heart and this time don't be too picky because the right man might just be at your doorstep. You can also shoot your shot also if you see any available meat

J111333:
Please stop the he loves me nonsense. If I mistakenly impregnate a lady I don't wanna marry, nothing on earth will make me marry her. He lives in the UK so I guess he is civilised enough to have sense. He married her and took her with him and you're here talking about love, biko have small sense.
As it stands now, he only doesn't wanna loose your body (boob and backside) but not you. He wants to eat his cake and still have it. Forget that man and move on now that you can before you end up in Shiloh.

Reading this made me cry. Please what can i do to end this relationship and take myself out of it. What exactly can i do?

You are a confused and wicked soul. Stop meddling with another woman's husband.
You are not the first woman to miss a marital opportunity. From the way the woman called and mocked you, I think she will be able to face you squarely, treating your fuckkups, since sense is far from your brain.

What you are feeling is desperation to get married, it's not 100percent love. You forget that many women have gotten married at whatever ages if only they have sense and play their cards right.

You gave flimsy excuses refusing to marry the man, I don't know if you are trying to say you dated him for 6yrs, 6yrs yet you were still confused and not ready. This is why ladies should insist on court marriage, cuz I cannot understand why he wants to marry a second wife, when he is still married to the first, except he is a moslem.

I perfectly understand how you feel each times you think about what you've lost ?

You have your own money, yet you want to hustle your own money ?

You love him deeply for solid six years yet you never asked him where the relationship was heading. He had tried to make you his Mrs and you've declined numerous times


He has shown you love than anyone else in this life......even your father

The truth is you're manipulative, crafty, dubious and greedy.....you were only enjoying his money and the fantasy of my UK maga.........


You were not surprised he married the newer lady but the fact that the lady knows the value of what you've lost. Perhaps, her husband had narrated how you wasted his time and you're not ready to back off.


After all, she is smarter and braver. She polished the raw Gold you've thrown away. The message is not a mockery in anyway, its a signal that the new sheriff in town is a no nonsense fellow.

She understand you still want to be tapping from her family's resources so she demanded you stay clear because she is in charge now.......and you should fvck off. Is that too much to ask my lady ?
If you refuse to move on, she will bath you in the mud of your indecisive confusion


Learn your lesson, accept and be sincere with the next asshole.....how old are you by the way ?....the calculation can't be wrong....you've dated him for six years......the guy before him and the one before that as well.

Ladykiss:


I know am at fault for keeping him waiting that long but I can't settle down while in school, this a man am always around him whenever he's around. This a man that have children with his first wife before they divorced, so is not as if he's suffering for children reason i wasn't rushing about the marriage stuff. Sincerely am pained and hurt. I wish to quit too, I wish to end it but is hard for me. I just wish someone can just put me in their shoe before judging me

Just stay clear the deed has been done already there's no need crying over split milk just believe God and a better man will come

LilMissFavvy:
You are a confused and wicked soul. Stop meddling with another woman's husband.
You are not the first woman to miss a marital opportunity. From the way the woman called and mocked you, I think she will be able to face you squarely, treating your fuckkups, since sense is far from your brain.

What you are feeling is desperation to get married, it's not 100percent love. You forget that many women have gotten married at whatever ages if only they have sense and play their cards right.

You gave flimsy excuses refusing to marry the man, I don't know if you are trying to say you dated him for 6yrs, 6yrs yet you were still confused and not ready. This is why ladies should insist on court marriage, cuz I cannot understand why he wants to marry a second wife, when he is still married to the first, except he is a moslem.

Don't pour your anger on me if u fall in the line of those desperate ladies that will use pregnancy to tie another lady man just to marry u and give u papers.

Who is desperate to marry? Like u don't know me. I will pick my carrier 1million times before thinking of marriage.

Treat my Bleep up squarely, i laugh on this. Her madness is doing yes madam where my own madness stand. I just dislike fighting on men because they don't worth it. My anger is that woman message to me while am still trying to let go.

Be nice with your advice, if someone has snatched your husband from you before, don't come and pour the anger on me.