BRATISLAVA:
When will he apologize to your mum? Or have you forgotten that part? You've forgotten why you didn't care about him? Another bro code moment. Maybe you've found yourself maltreating women, too, so now it's okay. Or maybe all those cars and houses you mentioned have to do with it.

Belafonte:


Spot on.

For them it's always about some Machiavellian scheme and competition with nobody competing with them.

They are neurotic.

KanuSE:


Lol , don't mind BRATISLAVA he/she needs a good treat.

TheArchangel:

This guy was single handedly raised by his mother while his father was wallowing in wealth. Now he is demonising his mother for the neglect he suffered from his father. I don't get it.

Most Nigerian women will most certainly prefer to cry in Benz than to wallow in poverty but your mother choose the safe option for her sanity and kid's sake. If you want to make peace with your father, kindly go ahead but do not belittle the sufferings of your mother to appease your conscience.


Imagine after the marital abandonment, I risked being demonised by the kids I suffered for

I hate abortion but this thread is making me to lean towards pro-choice.
Ladies beware . If you have had the babies already, start keeping tabs, school fees receipts, messages sent to him for assistances, your child's memorable moments on videos, the time he was contacted for his helps and the excuses he gave. Whether justifiable or not, put it down somewhere.
Keep a ledger of the financial helps you received from him.
Let your evidence fight for you before they use your sufferings to demonize you.

BRATISLAVA:
didn't the man forget him totally for life?

TheFacelessMan:


You sound very bitter and a father-hater. I can easily guess you had a deadbeat dad.

Stop pouring your frustrations and trying to discourage the OP's re-conciliatory efforts towards his Dad.

No one was there and only a fool would believe that the Mum would be 100% honest about her shortcomings to her kids.

People lie blatantly when giving accounts during a fight. It is always best to assume both sides had their own share of guilt.

Martinez39:
Op only mentioned his mother suffered. He did not specify anything. What abuse are you talking about? You don't know the full story yet you have implied, in your posts, that his father is a ravenous and remorseless beast and you speak like you are sure and you were present when some virtually unforgivable and egregious treatment was meted to the mother by the father. Of course, it is expected of you to think this way after all, the feminist koolaid is a toxic and potent one.

Angelfrost:


...And the men are clearly wrong!!! Societally and Religiously!!!

It's one of our many failings as a society. In saner climes, you pay in cash for your absenteeism as a father.

TheFacelessMan:


You sound very bitter and a father-hater. I can easily guess you had a deadbeat dad.

Stop pouring your frustrations and trying to discourage the OP's re-conciliatory efforts towards his Dad.

No one was there and only a fool would believe that the Mum would be 100% honest about her shortcomings to her kids.

People lie blatantly when giving accounts during a fight. It is always best to assume both sides had their own share of guilt.

IceColdVeins:
Dont be quick to judge.
I am the only one at loggerheads with my dad, my other siblings are not. And I neevr demonised my mom, I love her and I have showered my care on her. I'm just trying to make peace within myself and make the family balanced. MY mom and dad are still together and happier than before. But the wounds dont ever heal.

TheFacelessMan:


You sound very bitter and a father-hater. I can easily guess you had a deadbeat dad.

Stop pouring your frustrations and trying to discourage the OP's re-conciliatory efforts towards his Dad.

No one was there and only a fool would believe that the Mum would be 100% honest about her shortcomings to her kids.

People lie blatantly when giving accounts during a fight. It is always best to assume both sides had their own share of guilt.

JONNYSPUTE:
..Let's not allow emotions becloud our senses of reasoning.Will you still say the same thing if the story was turned around? That's him going to reconcile with the mum assuming she was the one that abandoned them?.Life is full of mysteries and we should all try as much as possible to erase bitterness from our souls.

Graxie:
This is why I hate single motherhood, I can never raise up kids by myself alone except due to widowhood. God will not even allow me to be one. Every single mother should read this thread and wake up, you will raise this kids alone and they will go in search of their father. Some will even claim you manipulated them. Wake up and seek for child support from sperm donor, even if it means going public. Don't waste your life for nothing. Better still, go and drop those kids for your sperm donor family. Be wise.

IceColdVeins:
Dont be quick to judge.
I am the only one at loggerheads with my dad, my other siblings are not. And I neevr demonised my mom, I love her and I have showered my care on her. I'm just trying to make peace within myself and make the family balanced. MY mom and dad are still together and happier than before. But the wounds dont ever heal.

BRATISLAVA:
uh huh. Whatever makes you happy. You sound like you had a deadbeat mother, too. You sound like a mother-hater I can tell that from the frustrated bitterness you are pouring on me. Only a fool would believe a father would be 100% honest about his short comings to his kids.

LOL. I love my mum. I am proudly a mother's boy

I love my Dad as well. I got full dose on both sides.

Obviously you grew up broken and the pain makes you lash out. The venom is there for all to see. Sorry about your "deadbeat" dad, maybe you should listen to him, maybe your mum lied about him.

I truly feel your pain. ALL your comments show 100% pure bitterness and jealousy that the OP ended the family feud.

End it so that the next generation doesn't suffer same. CIAO

BRATISLAVA:
when did the truth become malicious? Op specified his mother suffered, if only you didn't hate women(due to the messages preached to you in the RP movement) you might have seen that

Martinez39:
Of course, he said his mum suffered but do you know how she suffered and why she suffered? Do you even know for certain the shortcomings of the mother? You didn't these through instead you readily jumped on the bandwagon of men-hating simpletons and whiners. Whether you like it or not, the op had reconciled with his father and nothing can change that. I also believe that in the future, more people will start thinking for themselves and giving their parent, father or mother, the benefit of doubt and hear stories of both sides. Good day.

BRATISLAVA:
everything becomes emotional once you see the logic in apologizing to your oppressor. Your emotional standpoint that all women become unruly when their husbands are poor is your experience. I get that as men you must stand with men, but put that sentiment aside. So because he is going through hell he should put you through hell and later you will respect the hell he gave you because you are now a man/father and he was right? Let's hear something new that isn't male sentiment and retrogressive. You give too many excuses for terrible fatherhood

BRATISLAVA:


Men only love their fathers because of red pill movements and because they usually become the monster of their childhood in later life.
So you think mother's only nag? Do you know if fathers nag? With the way men complain about almost everything about women from coming to cleaning, who do you think nags most? Even when mother's are bread winners, at the end of the day comes underserved love and respect for a man who prioritized other things over his family. Because people need to recognize fathers. Whatever that means.
I've noticed a lot of hatred for dead beat mother's and love for dead beat fathers. Why? Sexual bigotry. Nothing less. Nothing more. All I see are ungrateful kids. They always think their mothers are evil when they've grown up and swallowed the pills, and that they need to see things from his side, even when he abandoned them or abused them. Men don't suck in emotions; they are downright bitchy too. That is why they take it out on their families by being absentee fathers. If women dared to try this...! And yet, the children always look for them. Not because they are good. But because society has made even evil men have a side. Even murderous men have a side. As if evil is justified simply by fatherhood because if you don't apologize to him you will suffer. Fear.

TheFacelessMan:


LOL. I love my mum. I am proudly a mother's boy

I love my Dad as well. I got full dose on both sides.

Obviously you grew up broken and the pain makes you lash out. The venom is obvious. Sorry about your deadbeat dad, maybe you should listen to him, maybe your mum lied about him.

I truly feel your pain. ALL your comments show it 100% pure bitterness. End it so that the next generation doesn't suffer same. CIAO

KanuSE:


As if the cash makes up for the fatherly love & companionship. Y'all continue to forget that when the payments stop as a result of the child coming of an adult age, we're then back to the main subject - emptiness and missed innocent childhood.

Please gain wisdom.

Gordieshegz:



Sister, I can relate with the sense in your argument. However, we need to consider some reality checks.

Take for instance, how do you think ANDRE will react to CHURCHILL when he grew up to realise all TONTO did to his father? Hid him from his father's reach and frustrated his father's attempts to show some care?

Many single mothers are worse than Tonto and they manipulate their wards with lies garnished with emotions. They were never faulty in their own ways, just the husbands.

This post is not to justify the stupidity demonstrated towards wives by some insensitive husbands though.

sdavirus:


You call taking care of your child slaving? Does it matter what happens in the future? Your child remains your child, whether the other is useless or not. Are you doing it for yourself or another?

Humans are amazing.

pocohantas:


Don't act like you care about the mothers, you don't.

Angelfrost:


Please, I did not endorse either societal approach.

My point here is that at least certain societies make a case for it, and make efforts to discipline the erring parent. Unlike some societies that accept and endorse it as normal.

You can't compel fatherly love and companionship. You can only counsel and re-orient (Which is part of what this thread is all about).

BRATISLAVA:

Why is it that when people laugh out loud they try their best to conceal their pains? Reeks of lies. It's what you say versus what I say. I still believe what I last sent to you.
I do not have a deadbeat dad. He is exemplary. There are people who got married because they loved our family dynamic. I simply hate to see families torn apart, and then you know it's from the man but you've convinced yourself that he is a man and that women are nags. This is not true. I used to think the women were the problem, then I realized that most women put a lot into their families but the men get the recognition and they are put down instead.

Nothing from my posts show misogyny. Everything about you reeks of father hatred. Read your own posts slowly.

No matter how you hide it. Hear the side of your dad. Maybe the cycle of hatred would stop.

From my first mention, anyone with minimal IQ would see clearly I said BOTH SIDES MIGHT HAVE THEIR SHARE OF GUILT.

Only an abject fool would listen to one side of the story and hurriedly jump to conclusions that it is the gospel truth.

Good luck about your dad.

PS - Mothers and Fathers are great.

luminouz:

You don vex?
The first way to healing is to forgive and forget but clearly you still hurt inside. The fact is so long you're born into this world,you're on your own. Your father was meant to be a dad bit he messer up. That hurts but then there are those without fathers(almajiris in the north especially) who decided to strive and make it against all odds. I decided long ago to look at life from a perspective that my happiness and success rest on my shoulders,not someone else. So no matter how bad I was hurt(and I have been hurt like you will never believe),I forgive them and move on. Talking to him and relating with him after such evil deeds hurts him more than you. It means you have progressed to the point of looking at the future,not the past. You are not little anymore,are you? Why does his deed ghosts still haunt you? Holding in such pain damages you more than him. He is old already while you're still young. Dont let animosity ruin your own future.

Humans are humans,flawed and limited. Dont put your whole trust in them.

One love

ibkayee:
I’m kind of annoyed that you even apologised