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My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by skales67(m): 1:39am On Dec 17, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



I have noticed one trend with so called males here, they usually type @emboldened when it is a female stating her issues, but when it's a male, their functioning brain goes on hibernation, SMH!!

If you want to hear the other side of the story, kindly get in touch with the horseband, and bring him here to say his version, in the meantime, this is all we have, if you are not satisfied with her version, don't even try to comment, and the next time you see a female thread stating her sad family issues, kindly jump and pass.

We will not jump and pass! Her story is twisted!

You did not do anything bad to your husband, you never treated his mother bad (which means his mother is suppose to love you like her own daughter) and he suddenly wakes up one day and starts treating you with disdain? With the "calm" and "sober" way you present it, you never did anything wrong to your husband yet he makes such threat to you?

The poster should tell this super-story to kids in creche!

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Magicians: 1:43am On Dec 17, 2019
If you tell your husband to treat people right 10 times n he insult you 10 times, does your common sense not tell you need to approach such situation in a different manner ?

For example proud people are nauseating to me n I can imagine my wife daring to tell me to treat such people right ?

ebyjoyken:
Thank you ma. I have been loyal and respectful to him. He has been abusing me emotionally but i refused to break. But he found my weekness and that's my children. Every little thing he will threaten me that he will take my kids away from me. I have been good with his siblings and mum. If he sees my children around me, he gets angry and ask them to leave my side. It is beginning to really bother me. If he does something wrong and i correct him or tell him to treat people with love, he becomes very angry and starts threatening me with my kids . Telling me that i will soon run mad. So many things but i can't bear my heart on a public forum.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Daboomb: 1:53am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

You know the problem, which l have highlighted in your Post, why then do you still seek advice?

Obviously, you "challenge" your husband in front of your children, that riddicules him in front of the children, as a father in the house.
Now that he wants to riddicule you in trun, you feel sad!

Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.

Respect your husband and your children will respect you, no matter what.
Riddicule your husband (in their presence especially,) and they will just learn from you and multiply it by x10.
KARMA is a biatch!


If you have unresolved issues, try and sort it out but dont make a mickey out of your husband, it comes back to you.
Children of today learn a lot by observation, not necessarily by wat they are told.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Daboomb: 2:05am On Dec 17, 2019
Pataricatering:
He has absolutely no regard or respect for you ! That’s what eventually happens when women stupidly decide to be “ submissive “ ! It’s not in men’s nature to say - she is submissive so let me be kind ! Never ! They will take full advantage if your submission and abuse u as much as they can ! How anyone can sit in a marriage with someone who has no regard for them as a person is something I would never understand .

Let us assume you are right and what you say is true (just for argument sake)

If she is not submissive as you advice, then the opposite is for her to be Confrontational, Challenging and Arguementative with her husband.

Do you think this will make her husband kind to her or it will brew conflict in the marriage, which will eventually crash the marriage?


Do you confront and challenge your own husband? ( if you are married) grin grin

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by loswhite(m): 2:58am On Dec 17, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



Another one, get the husband to air his version nah, shey you know him and where they live, we are waiting.....
madam give your own advice....lol you are just busy quoting ppl
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by wany(f): 2:58am On Dec 17, 2019
GrabHisBalls:
You need to rephrase the emboldened to 'whenever you guys have disagreements which subsequent leads to a quarrel'.

Firstly, your marriage has lasted a decade so you should know your husband more than anyone. If you really need a solution, then you should look inward to see if there are things you do or say to him that he finds disrespecting. There lies one of your solutions.

Secondly, you're obviously bitter your husband didn't call your family when you lost your dad. Have you found out from him why he didn't? Did your family offend him in any way? And even if he was offended, nothing justifies not sharing his condolence at that time. Regardless, you have to forgive him in order to have a peaceful marriage since he's your husband.

Lastly, you don't have to be scared if you've been in your best behavior or get angry when it's demanded. Your kids are actually seeing everything and know quite a lot if you're thinking they don't. When your husband is in his best mood, you should have a talk with him to resolve these underlying issues before they'll escalate to something irreconcilable.

You are a bigger joker yourself,a father Inlaw died and no regard was shown,please where are you from.she should find out what please.I pray such doesn't come your way.things we read this days,I tire walai

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by loswhite(m): 3:03am On Dec 17, 2019
Fountainofyouth:
This is exactly what we are saying on a thread that got to front page today, imagine this mistake of a man and father, him and his wife have issues, instead of him to resolve it, he wants to involve the kids and make them antagonise the mum, what has the kids got to do with it? Instead of the ones above to comment fairly, they are looking for his version, no matter what the woman said, what type of man will tell his kids to do such? If reverse was the case and woman told their kids to insult their dad, the comments would have reached page ten by now with all manner of insults on the woman,

The husband doesn't obviously want to be challenged in the decisions that involves the family, he wants a 'yes sir' kind of woman, he wants to subdue her smh, does he expect his decisions to be right all the time? How will they be able to rub minds together on whats best for the family

Madam Op, anytime he says anything, don't challenge, react or talk back, just be looking at him and ignore, let him say his own and do whatever he thinks is right, you too, do whatever you think is right, when he sees the arrangement isn't palatable due to clashes, he will remorsefully call you for a heart to heart talk.
We know your problem....men haters...lol
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Nobody: 3:11am On Dec 17, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



I have noticed one trend with so called males here, they usually type @emboldened when it is a female stating her issues, but when it's a male, their functioning brain goes on hibernation, SMH!!

If you want to hear the other side of the story, kindly get in touch with the horseband, and bring him here to say his version, in the meantime, this is all we have, if you are not satisfied with her version, don't even try to comment, and the next time you see a female thread stating her sad family issues, kindly jump and pass.
This won wick me jo
Woman always feel like the know everything in a Relationship chai
Uwa nka although they said it's a woman world
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by jaxxy(m): 3:16am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

If Ure saying the whole story then ur husband’s attitude is very wrong and uncalled for, the home is a partnership with the man leading bt not a dictatorship. U have a right to gently question things were necessary and put heads together. That’s how it’s supposed to be.

1st off I wud like to understand what ur husband means by u challenging him and what it entails based on issues btwn both of u. Definitely Smtn occurred for him to make this statement. Be respectful bt speak up where it’s necessary bt don’t go into unnecessary arguments dat can be negative.

At the end of the day it also depends on the kind of person ur husband is. Sm men can be difficult. Understand him then know how to manage him.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by wany(f): 3:27am On Dec 17, 2019
vickydankal:


I believe you. I think the husband is not honoured adequately. It is like a tank. Not just respect but honour. Make him your king. In my village the best way to control a man (Husband) is to allow him to be the man, honour him, respect, and submit to him totally. Then he will unconsciously hand over the kingdom to you. Check between Vasti and Queen Esther in the bible. Honour was what dethroned one and enthroned the other. Have ever heard 'His wife is controlling him' this is one of the keys to do that.
You mean ego massage,for this melinia . undecided

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by NwsBoy: 3:39am On Dec 17, 2019
cry

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by agarawu23(m): 3:55am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
i am not i swear. I don't even have a say. I wish he is on this forum, so that you can ask him.
is that why u wanted to abort a 18weeks pregnancy? ,Cos he wants to turn your kids back at u.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Liposure: 4:27am On Dec 17, 2019
It seems ur hubby is tryin 2 blackmail u.talk 2 him about d consequences of his action.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by IprintMONEY: 4:36am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.
why will u be challenging or inslting him? see if you guys are not ready to tell the real detail of the story, dont write it na

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by kingchuks500(m): 5:12am On Dec 17, 2019
My advice to u is to be more close to ur children, let them see how much you love them. It will go a long way.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by oziamaka: 5:38am On Dec 17, 2019
My dear mothers influence on their children can be signficant and can be life long. If you don't do anything to a manand he is traitening you already with this haba! Use ur power as a mother over your children, he will come begging.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by joyandfaith: 6:32am On Dec 17, 2019
crackhaus:

If that's the case, then you even have more possibility of turning them against him if you wanted cheesy
You have no problem.

As for his relationship with your family - since you have been okay with the status quo for the last 10yrs and never tried to initiate a reconciliation between them, then continue being okay with it.

I don't know how you expect to deal with a 10yr old grudge overnight. I suspect this might even be the cause of your recent disagreements.

I like your submission. her husband will cry in his old age because children will abandon him. most men are suffering in their old age because they mistreated their wives with no good reason. if you see any child that hates his mother, such mother is wicked.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by gaddafe(m): 6:35am On Dec 17, 2019
Larryfest:
Kids naturally love their mom more than the dad so there's no amount of poisoning he can poison the kids mind that will change their mind against you as long as you remain a good mom and a wife too..

Even if she is a bad mum the kids will still love her. The only exception is if she divorce the man and leaves the kids with the man for years, especially during the early stages of the kids life say 0-10 years.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Oshin56(m): 6:37am On Dec 17, 2019
I'm not trying to condemn your husband or trying to justify his act but find a period that you know his happy or try to give to him what you know that will make him happy after that ask him what you have done to him that makes you deserve that treatment or if he is a such that take alcohol look for his brand and give him and I believe he will tell you what you have done for him.l

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by true2god: 6:38am On Dec 17, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



I have noticed one trend with so called males here, they usually type @emboldened when it is a female stating her issues, but when it's a male, their functioning brain goes on hibernation, SMH!!

If you want to hear the other side of the story, kindly get in touch with the horseband, and bring him here to say his version, in the meantime, this is all we have, if you are not satisfied with her version, don't even try to comment, and the next time you see a female thread stating her sad family issues, kindly jump and pass.
Why call him horseband instead of the normal husband? You are part of the problem; very rude and disrespectful.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Nobody: 6:40am On Dec 17, 2019
Like seriously,a lot of people didn't marry,strangers are living together and have children and they call it marriage.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by crackhaus: 6:46am On Dec 17, 2019
joyandfaith:


I like your submission. her husband will cry in his old age because children will abandon him. most men are suffering in their old age because they mistreated their wives with no good reason. if you see any child that hates his mother, such mother is wicked.
Very true.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by thymm50(m): 6:48am On Dec 17, 2019
Some men feel insulted when their spouse tell them the truth during an argument, especially when you just slap it on his face. Some ladies are not sensitive when dealing with issues that can affect a man's ego. I'm sure this is the reason he wants to turn the children against you so you have a taste of how you make him feel.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Adams12345: 6:54am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

pray for God to touch your husband, i persive its may be spiritual, pray hard and fast go for church councilling, you need to defend your home woman, dont just complain, be patient and caring to your husband overlook his comment and action, dont reaction it will lead to crisis.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Bluffly: 6:57am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.
If you must challenge him, work on your approach. Don't be blunt, work your words to be soothing. He won't see it as challenge anymore but more of opinion.
Take your time to respond, always
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Dreamchaserz(m): 7:02am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
Thank you.

Wow... Just wow!
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by adontcare(f): 7:14am On Dec 17, 2019
ebyjoyken:
He didn't attend my dad's burial, he wasn't around. His brothers attended on his behalf. I am not trying to be the victim. I just wrote it as it is. He doesn't like my family, i have asked him several why he doesn't like my family. He gave no response.
madam, most men don't like their wives family especially when they r richer than the wife's.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by richPHAROAH: 7:20am On Dec 17, 2019
NwsBoy:
cry
did buhari say anyone can come here? why he close benin border na?
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by BluntBoy(m): 7:38am On Dec 17, 2019
Pataricatering:
He has absolutely no regard or respect for you ! That’s what eventually happens when women stupidly decide to be “ submissive “ ! It’s not in men’s nature to say - she is submissive so let me be kind ! Never ! They will take full advantage if your submission and abuse u as much as they can ! How anyone can sit in a marriage with someone who has no regard for them as a person is something I would never understand .

SMH...

So, your mind is already made up never to be submissive.

Let me tell you, it is far better to be submissive than to be confrontational. A good man will choose a submissive woman over a confrontational woman anytime any day.

In addition, there is nothing in the OP that suggests that she is submissive to her husband. For a man to threaten to turn his children against his wife, it must be that that wife is rude to him or has no regards for elders. In that case, when she receives a dose of her own medicine, she would understand how painful rudeness can be.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by CasNova: 7:48am On Dec 17, 2019
Marriages have many challenges. A successful marriage needs tact, patience, wisdom and prayerfulness.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by smithbidy(m): 7:52am On Dec 17, 2019
healthserve:
What is marriage becoming thesedays. Every day another sad marriage tale. We need to start looking at the bigger picture if a marriage doesn't work. It's how it is. What's the point staying under the same roof with someone we don't love. A marriage where all the loving and respect has flown out the window will also produce issues like this one. But then, there's always two sides to every tale and
many times the tale bearer presents the side of the story that absolves them of any kind of wrong doing
Be calm and decisive, ask him to forgive your wrongdoing, and beg him not to use your children as a bait to correct your whatever wrong doings. Let him understand that it's a curse on the children to disrespect their parent, and pls beg him not to be an architect to that curse. Do all this in front of the children, he will change and the children will pity your tears and not submit to their father's will to disrespect you.
Re: My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. by Airhix(m): 7:56am On Dec 17, 2019
Its only very clear that your husband has been brain washed, he ought not act this way,someone must have told him something about you,which he doesn't have the moral courage to ask you, couples should first be best friends before love crips in,pls you are a woman, save your family, apologize to him, pray without season, God of Hannah will see you tru, so many evil in the society, your husband is not in the right state of mind,he only sees your errors now. Keep loving him,keep praying together,do all you can which is godly to reclaim your man.God bless you.

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