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Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? - TV/Movies (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by shadrach77: 2:06pm On Jun 25, 2012
well, the answer is simple - they want the viewers to see a physical manifestation of illness in the patient and the only way they can achieve that is through visual/audio representation by way of coughing wink cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by SpiritofOkija(m): 2:16pm On Jun 25, 2012
Why do people talk for a while in American movies after being shot before they die?!

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by xrazzy(m): 2:21pm On Jun 25, 2012
why is it that martial art is always lethal than gun in Chinese movies?

3 Likes

Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by crackhouse(m): 2:51pm On Jun 25, 2012
okwanuzo3: Why do all nigerian movie scripts require the actors to cough/ hyperventilate to show they are about to die? was just wondering if it does happen in real life and i'm unaware
Sorry i am deaf & dumb.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by tunapawizzy: 2:54pm On Jun 25, 2012
Chei people just come on the internet and ask silly kweshuns.......@op this cant be God's plan for ur life.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by drnoel: 3:03pm On Jun 25, 2012
mukina2: To show that they are going to die grin grin
^should be^^^^ grin grin grin but I don´t really watch those things
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by yunafa(f): 3:10pm On Jun 25, 2012
Chidex2442: That cough is normally attack 4rm d village! Or if d person dies 4rm spiritual attack
u are very correct!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by ideee03(f): 3:31pm On Jun 25, 2012
;DLol
denex: They generally belief that cough is the highest killer in subsaharan africa.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by ideee03(f): 3:33pm On Jun 25, 2012
;DEvuulz
uihebom: Poster you will know if you drink otapiapia.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by SSaemoenl(m): 4:15pm On Jun 25, 2012
1. The title of the movie tells u the whole story line

2. A lady is about to go to bed at night and yet her face is fully made up.

3. Someone will be shown 25 years after and he will be wearing the same clothes he wore earlier

4. When there is a flashback in a flashback.

5. When a film talks about past events in the 80s and 90s and you see MTN, ETISALAT and GLO banners in the background.

6. The lyrics of the soundtrack is literally the plot of the movie.

7. A car is about to have an accident when the steering wheel suddenly starts turning and the driver will eventually hit an “ewedu” stem and the driver will be seen with his head on the steering wheel with no damage to windscreen, nor any scratch on the car whatsoever.

8. The same song is played ON and ON and ON throughout the movie (whether it is an action/love/drama scene)

9. The actors waste unnecessary time to perform an act that shouldn’t take more than a fraction of a second e.g An actor will spend fifteen good minutes of his time threatening to kill someone, spend another five minutes looking for his gun (while the mumu victim will stand there watching) and then spend another ten minutes shouting “I WILL KILL YOU TODAY” after which he tots his gun (the sound is often times not in sequence with the trigger pull) and then the victim screams ” I AM DEAD, YOU HAVE KILLED ME, I AM DYING” and then he dies.

10. Advert floods d first half hour. Thank God for fast forwarding

11. A car will hit someone at top speed and that person will still be lying on the bonnet of the car

12. The bad characters are completely evil and the good characters are completely good, one track personalities

13. You have to reduce the volume for the soundtrack and increase it to hear what the actor are saying, so you have to hold onto your remote control.

14. When you see a village girl speaking phonetics

15. Almost all endings will happen in church, when at the end of the movie, a pastor and his team prays and the wicked/evil person manifests, confesses and then drops dead. . . To God be the glory. This always happens when the director/ producers have run out of ways to end the movie.

16. A ghost will be looking on both sides of the road before crossing

17. When married women wear club-appropriate outfits all day, everyday- even when cooking in the kitchen or attending to someone at the store.

18. You can predict the movie by mere looking at the DVD casing

19. When the film advertisement ends with GO GRAB UR COPY NOW!!!!!! as if its going out of existence and ur entire being is dependent on it

20. When it is marketed and distributed at 51/52 Iweka road Onitsha, 12 Idumota lane or Pound road Aba.

21. An actor leaves his house in a red shirt and is seen in the car with a blue shirt and arrives his destination in a red shirt.

22. When a hospitalized patient dies by shaking violently on the hospital bed.

23. When Jim Iyke or anoda actor is putting on SUNSHADES in a CLUB at NIGHT

24. When a man suffers a gun shot injury to the tummy and is shown in the hospital with bandages on thier head and a cast on their arms and legs. .

25. When a club scene with people dancing lasts for over 15 minutes with no dialogue or incident.

26. When Aki and paw paw must act in the same movie and usually as bad boys or trouble makers, Jim Iyke is always a bad/hard man, Mercy Johnson is always a village girl/student

27. Some Nigerian home video can be boring and the producers don’t help matters by extending it to PART TWO, PART THREE, PART FOUR, PART FIVE AND PART SIX (to be contd). Funny thing is everything in that movie can be acted in 20mins if it was directed properly like the Hollywood movies.

28. When a house is supposedly on fire but wont be consumed in flames

29. When a village igbo setting has all of the cast scantily dressed with ankara or animal skin, like NOBODY wears shirt & trouser in the village.

30. The gateman is so silly that he can be insulting his Boss(es) right in there presence without getting fired….Wonder if that is possible with the rate at which people seek for employment…( e.g. Baba Suwe Films)

31. When u see the cameraman’s image on the body of a shiny car, with his camera raised up and usually clad in white singlet and short knickers.

32. When it is distributed by Zeb Ejiro, Produced by Zeb Ejiro, Written by Zeb Ejiro, Screen Play by Zeb Ejiro, Make up by Zeb Ejiro and Directed by Zeb Ejiro

33. When a couple is making love in their room with no one watching and yet they cover themselves with thick blanket and start to struggle and sweat like they were forced to do it in a public place

34. The lil boy or girl have difficulty remembering his/her lines and picks his/her words one by one

35. It is only in Nigerian movies when a prayer warrior/ pastor says ”HOLY GHOST FIRE! to an evil person and you will see fire balls, fire whips, fire missiles appearing. Wonderful! I love my native movies.

36. Most women just love Nigerian home videos and i wonder why. Perhaps its because it feeds their emotions e.g The “wicked” husband of that “innocent” woman finally got what he “deserved” in the end OR the mother in law mistakenly ate the poison she prepared for the wife (Women just love these movies…especially the married ones and their reasons aren’t far fetched)

37. When every slap sounds like a gunshot

38. When Funke Akindele comes up with OMO GHETTO and Fathia Balogun copy cats with ONOME AGANGA, then Femi Adebayo brings JELILI and Mercy Aigbe vexs and releases……

39. When ur mother and sisters all gather in the parlour watching the tv with rapt attention and periodically turn to each other and say “this kind thing dey happen o ”

40. When u see an actor/actress remembering what happened in 1972 …and at the back u see vote for Goodluck Jonathan 2011 fresh air billboard..in 1972 41. U already know what’ll end at d beginning of the film

42. To God be the glory. Watch out for part 2

10 Likes

Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Egbagirl(f): 4:23pm On Jun 25, 2012
@SSaemoenl: LOL. That reaLly cracked me up!
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Blizzy9ja: 4:28pm On Jun 25, 2012
Dumb question.... I wonder what this is doing in the front page
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Nobody: 4:55pm On Jun 25, 2012
@ssemoni: u ar not seriouse, and whre did u get al those? Though sme ar true bt most ar smth u came up with bt its a nyce one sha....

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by free2ryhme: 5:06pm On Jun 25, 2012
lol grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin .. You know go kill person oooo
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by cindyrella(f): 6:07pm On Jun 25, 2012
Funny grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by lagerwhenindoubt(m): 8:43pm On Jun 25, 2012
grin grin grin grin @SSaemoenl - you should be in Comedy
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Nobody: 9:22pm On Jun 25, 2012
@ssaemonl, lol...bt ur post is just 30% true......and it is limited to some movies in nollywood(nollywood agege/warri hustlers/producers) that I don't watch .......bt very funny though. Maybe you can also make a post about the premiered nollywood movies. wink Goodluck with your............



And I wonder why a 2007 post got to make frontpage? To think that it is a criticism post sef.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Nobody: 9:55pm On Jun 25, 2012
LMAO!!

i noticed that too. grin

but come on it's NOLLYWOOD. Even if it is cheesy, that's how it should be.
That is why I like it. grin
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Nobody: 9:56pm On Jun 25, 2012
SSaemoenl: ---hilarity---


LWKMDDDDDDD!! grin grin grin grin grin

SPOT ON!!


9. The actors waste unnecessary time to perform an act that shouldn’t take more than a fraction of a second e.g An actor will spend fifteen good minutes of his time threatening to kill someone, spend another five minutes looking for his gun (while the mumu victim will stand there watching) and then spend another ten minutes shouting “I WILL KILL YOU TODAY” after which he tots his gun (the sound is often times not in sequence with the trigger pull) and then the victim screams ” I AM DEAD, YOU HAVE KILLED ME, I AM DYING” and then he dies.

LOL IM WEAK!!! grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by okwanuzo3(f): 10:31pm On Jun 25, 2012
i'm sooo lollong at your comments.
Don't know how this made front page 5 yrs after the topic was posted but thanks for your replies.
I'm pleased to observe that there are fewer incidences of death from cough or hyperventilation or cough and hyperventliation prior to death in recent african movies.
For those wondering why some posts were hidden, the post were by an imbecilic somalian on the loose on here, attempting to cure his insecurity by spewing "hate" and perhaps spread the insecurity virus.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by leemena26(f): 1:12am On Jun 26, 2012
lol
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Ancecoker(m): 8:52am On Jun 26, 2012
;Dsha u think say e-easy to die ni... Pls if any of u won die make una pls try cough like grand mama goat.. :Psha u think say e-easy to die ni... Pls if any of u won die make una pls try cough like grand mama goat..
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by BB013(m): 8:00am On Jun 27, 2012
;
afam4eva:
Experience is the best teacher. Just try taking your life and let's see why. Don't forget to video yourself grin

grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by novaman: 1:58pm On Jun 27, 2012
professionally its wrong, becos people die in different ways, most of our film producers must first imagine their films without audio first to see if it makes sense before they start thinking about the audio; if you wish to know the difference between the local and foreign films try watching the film without audio
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by Nobody: 6:42pm On Jun 27, 2012
novaman: if you wish to know the difference between the local and foreign films try watching the film without audio
Shey we resemble deaf pple for your face? Abeg commot, u r not makin any sense.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by neily(f): 1:46pm On Jun 28, 2012
That is the way people die in Nigeria.
Re: Why Do People Cough In Nollywood Movies Before They Die? by ayanle456: 10:29am On Oct 31, 2012
okwanuzo3: i'm sooo lollong at your comments.
Don't know how this made front page 5 yrs after the topic was posted but thanks for your replies.
I'm pleased to observe that there are fewer incidences of death from cough or hyperventilation or cough and hyperventliation prior to death in recent african movies.
For those wondering why some posts were hidden, the post were by an imbecilic somalian on the loose on here, attempting to cure his insecurity by spewing "hate" and perhaps spread the insecurity virus.



is this what i get for giving you free publicity. you should be paying me for this.

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