liberalchick:

A legal based post.

Yes! 1. Based on his physical size, the force is not going to be comparable 2. He can walk away 3. His life was not in danger.

The law expects the man to walk away and report the girlfriend for assault.

On the verbal assault, the legal process will do its work. The police will investigate, people in their lives will be interrogated etc and the man will be legally represented in court.

In a civilized society people are not expected to take the law into their hands, if not, it becomes a slippery slope. What level of verbal abuse is enough to warrant a slap?

So are we basing physical violence on force now? What if the guy was sick and his lady's hands made him slump and die? Would the court still consider the force? How do we know his life was not in danger? Haven't we seen women kill their men?

I agree with you that people should not ideally that laws into their hands. What I am saying in addition is that people should not verbally abuse others with the hope that the abused person would look at them and go to the nearest police station.

We are humans with emotions and blood flowing. We are not robots programmed with A, B and C. You constantly call a man with a large family a bastard, he might shake it off. You call a man abandoned in an orphanage/ denied by his father a bastard constantly and he will snap one day.

When we are tempted to verbally abuse people, let us put ourselves in the shoes of the other person and do the right thing. Not start the madness in the first place.

We are having this discussion because it is believed that women are the more verbally abusive so men should give them a pass, walk away, hit a wall, ignore bla bla bla.

Funnily, this doesn't even bode well for women rights movement and the right to be seen as equal as a man. If a woman sees herself as equal, she should be freaking ready to face the consequences of running her mouth. The man might ignore her, pick another lover, walk away (which some stupid women still jack their men till they receive a slap), or slap her back.

You cannot control people's reaction to verbal abuse.

Let us avoid it altogether or if you are verbally abuse and you receive a slap, take it as the repercussion of your verbal abuse and sort out your issues.

midnighter:


It is expected that you may fight back after being physically attacked; this is self-defence, you are trying to protect the integrity of your body.

It is not expected that you would go physical after being verbally abused, however allowances are made given that you were provoked.



Being verbally abused only warrants being verbally abused back.

But we know that some people struggle to restrain themselves during that split-second and lash out physically. Which wouldn't have happened if you had kept your mouth shut.

Not that it's right, but it's understandable.

In the case of violence ---> violence, the retaliation should still be reasonable.

If you slap somebody and they whack you halfway across the room and split your skull open, it will still be worse for them than if they gave you the same kind of slap back. Because you are still expected to use your judgement to decide on an appropriate response.

Even though both of those cases will still be mitigated, because the person was provoked



Verbal will be punished but with a lighter sentence.

Violent will be punished but with a lighter sentence.

Both depend on what the nature of the reaction was and how much damage it inflicted

I assume you already know I'm not the one who ought to read all of this because it's exactly what I have been all about here.

DON'T PROVOKE, it's quite simple really if everyone took their heads out of their arsés. But alas, I'm not holding my breath for this miracle to happen.

bukatyne:


1. Verbal abuse is violence. If you don't like it, sorry it is. A person calling a lady a bitch/LovePeddler/slut can be a statement of fact or an insult. There are two different scenarios. If the girl's boyfriend keeps calling her a bitch/LovePeddler/slut, it can be a statement of fact or verbal abuse.

2. Any intelligent person would see that it fitted. And no, she did not consider me the sharpest tool in her subject and she was very very correct. How I passed that subject in WAEC is a clear miracle.

Now you do have any other posts of mine you want to quote out of context?

So your touching school stories fit the context of marriage but you encouraging verbal abuse, as you call it, on the other thread is a quote out of context?

According to you it is ok to call random strangers names but it is not ok if they are our family members. I assume it is also ok to beat people up as long as they are not our family.

And you call yourself objective.

liberalchick:

If a man abused you verbally, like really bad, insults your generation or “provokes” you, would you slap him?

A man verbally abusing me or throwing insults at me one time is one thing.

If my husband constantly verbally abuses me, I will deal with him. I might not slap him because I can't finish him off. I know my leverage in every situation; I do not have the physical strength to beat him to a pulp.

I will think of something that he will remember for a really really long time.

@Bold: is an If because I did not marry a verbally abusive man. I am that lazy and would look for lasting solutions so I can relax and working myself up per time.

And this is not a man thing, same applies to a woman.

I as a rule rarely do back and forth with random people I would most likely not see again.

crackhaus:

I assume you already know I'm not the one who ought to read all of this because it's exactly what I have been all about here.

DON'T PROVOKE, it's quite simple really if everyone took their heads out of their arsés. But alas, I'm not holding my breath for this miracle to happen.

Lol..I am still digesting the thread

From a logical standpoint it seems one way but the whole "don't ever hit a woman" stuff still comes in because of the proportional effect of man's strength vs a woman's.

We assume that the man's own would be worse, because most of the time, it is. So that's another factor.

Mindfulness:


So your touching school stories fit the context of marriage but you encouraging verbal abuse, as you call it, on the other thread is a quote out of context?

According to you it is ok to call random strangers names but it is not ok if they are our family members. I assume it is also ok to beat people up as long as they are not our family.

And you call yourself objective.

Mindfulness,

Telling ladies (because the thread was about ladies) to check themselves if they are given a label that offends them is encouraging verbal abuse.

If you also don't know the difference between a random man/woman calling you 'idiot' because you overtook them in traffic and your spouse calling you idiot everyday for the next two years then I must say this discussion is over and you win.

That doesn't stop women who think they can legislate their husband's response to their constant verbal abuse chopping slap this very minute.

Hopefully, they will log on to NL thereafter and feel good about themselves or show their husbands this thread.

Fountainofyouth:

I honestly don't care, let's just continue avoiding each other abeg, I'm not in the mood for any back and forth with you......

Her thirst for me will never let her keep to her own words.
Attention hungry chics turn me all the way off.

Girl I just don't like you, and I want nothing to do with you even if my life depended on it.

Fountainofyouth:

To what? After the bull you did on that thread, what more can you do or haven't done? You even went as far as getting a mod to delete my comment abi mention of you, I know you're petty but really? Smh,

Cry cry baby... Wa wa wa wa wa

Pathetic.

The women who are really physically abused dare not talk to their husbands or talk back at him.

Those are the women I am concerned about who needs help. They are the ones who by intentionally or unintentionally married psychotic men.

Any woman who gets slapped because she constantly wears her husband down with his acid tongue; I have only one advise to you.

Go and watch your tongue and learn how to communicate more effectively.

Stop been an instigator and cry foul when your tired husband retaliates.

And men, if you are the ones with acid tongues, same goes to you.

bukatyne:


So are we basing physical violence on force now?

“Violence is the use of physical force to
Injure, abuse or damage”

Bukatyne, you’ve brought a bias into this discussion - “Women are given a pass because they’re physically weaker than men”

You are not being open minded.

In your sick boyfriend scenario, the women goes to jail. Irrespective of gender if 1. Your life is not threatened, you’ve a way to escape or walk away and you’re not actually in physical harm then you’ve no defense for an assault and battery.

If Ronda Rousey slaps a 5’4” man, in a house that he cannot escape then he’s justified in beating her (if he can lol) and she will go to jail for assault.

The law believes if you have means to walk away from a situation that causes you physical or emotional distress and your life isn’t in danger, then that should always be your FIRST option. You can not really be serious that people don’t have the will to walk away from situations that they can. Most people that give in to “provocation” very easily do so because they know they can win the physical battle.

P.S this also applies to two men or two women.

midnighter:


Lol..I am still digesting the thread

From a logical standpoint it seems one way but the whole "don't ever hit a woman" stuff still comes in because of the proportional effect of man's strength vs a woman's.

We assume that the man's own would be worse, because most of the time, it is. So that's another factor.

Knowledge of this fact is exactly why women who are devilishly manipulative take advantage of men by being verbally abusive, and then cry foul when they get their teeth kicked in.

Nothing worse than a manipulative woman, Belial has nothing on her.

liberalchick:

“Violence is the use of physical force to
Injure, abuse or damage”

Bukatyne, you’ve brought a bias into this discussion - “Women are given a pass because they’re physically weaker than men”

You are not being open minded.

In your sick boyfriend scenario, the women goes to jail. Irrespective of gender if 1. Your life is not threatened, you’ve a way to escape or walk away and you’re not actually in physical harm then you’ve no defense for an assault and battery.

If Ronda Rousey slaps a 5’4” man, in a house that he cannot escape then he’s justified in beating her (if he can lol) and she will go to jail for assault.

The law believes if you have means to walk away from a situation that causes you physical or emotional distress and your life isn’t in danger, then that should always be your FIRST option. You can’t not really be serious that people don’t have the will to walk away from situations that they can. Most people that give in to “provocation” very easily do so because they know that can win the physical battle.

I have demonstrated my open-mindedness on this thread.

Except when we are dealing with a mad person, people do not usually just start slapping their better halves. That is why wise people would ask 'what happened?'

I did not bring a bias, I just mentioned the elephant in the room. Why are people so 'Physical violence is evil?' Like for like, how many women can beat their men? When we talk physical violence, who do we have in mind as a victim?

And those who do verbal violence know they can get away with words, It is their forte.

If verbal abuse reduces, physical abuse would also reduce. It is mostly a cause and effect thing.

It is just like the NL romance guys who whine about the number of virgins or the way girls sleep around. If they and their friends decide to keep themselves chaste, the number of girls having sex would reduce. Imagine that on a wide scale.

bukatyne:


A man verbally abusing me or throwing insults at me one time is one thing.

If my husband constantly verbally abuses me, I will deal with him. I might not slap him because I can't finish him off. I know my leverage in every situation; I do not have the physical strength to beat him to a pulp.

I will think of something that he will remember for a really really long time.

@Bold: is an If because I did not marry a verbally abusive man. I am that lazy and would look for lasting solutions so I can relax and working myself up per time.

And this is not a man thing, same applies to a woman.

I as a rule rarely do back and forth with random people I would most likely not see again.

The first part of the bolded falls under “sustained abuse”.

There you go!

Humans can walk away! If those that think they can’t win the physical battle can walk away then everyone can, so that’s no longer a justification. You walk away and if what you walked away from is a crime, report it.

bukatyne:


Mindfulness,

Telling ladies (because the thread was about ladies) to check themselves if they are given a label that offends them is encouraging verbal abuse.

If you also don't know the difference between a random man/woman calling you 'idiot' because you overtook them in traffic and your spouse calling you idiot everyday for the next two years then I must say this discussion is over and you win.

That doesn't stop women who think they can legislate their husband's response to their constant verbal abuse chopping slap this very minute.

Hopefully, they will log on to NL thereafter and feel good about themselves or show their husbands this thread.

So ladies must check themselves if they are abused verbally but husbands must not? They should rather be understood if they respond physically? What if calling him an idiot is a statement of fact?

We all know there are nuances but you remember them just now. Your argument was that verbal attacks are on par with physical attacks as they are different forms of violence and I agree to some degree but I find it surprising that you remembered it now. For you to say that it is ok to call random strangers names (=abuse them verbally) but not ok to do it in your family is like saying that it is ok to steal as long as you don't do it in your family. It's this kind of mentality that ruins this country.

crackhaus:

Knowledge of this fact is exactly why women who are devilishly manipulative take advantage of men by being verbally abusive, and then cry foul when they get their teeth kicked in.

Nothing worse than a manipulative woman, Belial has nothing on her.

Yes, which is why I couldn't understand what they were saying in that thread with the dude who hit his wife.

It was like some of them were reading a different post

midnighter:


Even though both of those cases will still be mitigated, because the person was provoked



Verbal will be punished but with a lighter sentence.

Violent will be punished but with a lighter sentence.

Really? Where? I didn't know you can take someone to court for calling you names. All NLanders will spend Christmas in jail if that is so.

midnighter:


Yes, which is why I couldn't understand what they were saying in that thread with the dude who hit his wife.

It was like some of them were reading a different post

The Dunning-Kruger Effect can do that.

Mindfulness:


Really? Where? I didn't know you can take someone to court for calling you names. All NLanders will spend Christmas in jail if that is so.

Lol no, I meant somebody who snapped and hit somebody who was verbally abusing them would be punished less than a person who just randomly beat somebody up

I was just lazy to type haha let me modify

midnighter:


Lol no, I meant somebody who snapped and hit somebody who was verbally abusing them would be punished less than a person who just randomly beat somebody up

I was just lazy to type haha let me modify

Ok.

crackhaus:

Knowledge of this fact is exactly why women who are devilishly manipulative take advantage of men by being verbally abusive, and then cry foul when they get their teeth kicked in.

Nothing worse than manipulative woman people, Belial has nothing on her them.

There is a movie 'Disturbed'. by Fredrick Leonard and Kiki Omeilli

When you watch it the first time, you will think the guy is evil till you get to the end.

If it was real, the husband would have gone mad.

liberalchick:

The first part of the bolded falls under “sustained abuse”.

There you go!

Humans can walk away! If those that think they can’t win the physical battle can walk away then everyone can, so that’s no longer a justification. You walk away and if what you walked away from is a crime, report it.

This thread is about people walking away; people will always do.

The thread is about not encouraging verbal abuse in the first place.

crackhaus:
Fountainofyouth, come here.

You went crawling on your stomach to my thread to get my attention lol

crackhaus:

I know you're shocked.

Ask me why I called your attention.

You were so excited I replied, like feeling on top of the world, you had to sheepishly ask why you called my attention, who loves who now

crackhaus:

I'm truly sorry about that, however I didn't get a mod to delete anything - hidden comments have broken a rule...so that's really on you, not me.

And then you had to apologize for your previous stupidity like you were so sad you couldn't sleep at night for 2 days, you had to wake me up with your mention I know I was in your thoughts boo, and I know I have a way of sliding in like that, I have that effect, but you ain't worth a dot dude, that is how irrelevant you are to me,

What a pathetic creature.

bukatyne:


I think carefully before I type so no, I have not forgotten.

I also do not have anything to prove so I provide my opinions on matters that interest me whether they are politically correct or not.

The way I treat offense from people close to me is different from the way I treat it as a family member.

And no amount of idealizing would tell people what to do when they can no longer accommodate people's acidic tongue would make people stop chopping slap.

Why we don't think we should caution people to watch their tongues beats me.

No one is saying verbal abuse should be overlooked, in that thread, your opinion is that verbal, negative, untrue words and abuse should be overlooked forgetting the fact that some can hurt, and now you're saying verbal abuse breeds physical violence, which in a way is right according to you, my point is, why speaking from both sides of the mouth?

Fountainofyouth:



No one is saying verbal abuse should be overlooked, in that thread, your opinion is that verbal, negative, untrue words and abuse should be overlooked forgetting the fact that some can hurt, and now you're saying verbal abuse breeds physical violence, which in a way is right according to you, my point is, why speaking from both sides of the mouth?

So if I call you a b!tch on NL now, you will trace my house and beat me up?

If I am a girl next door who sees you once a month and call you a slut, it will be same as when your boyfriend calls you slut every time you have a fracas?

And who said Verbal abuse -----> Physical abuse is right?

Whatever rocks your boat ma'am.

Fountainofyouth:


[s]You went crawling on your stomach to my thread to get my attention lol
You were so excited I replied, like feeling on top of the world, you had to sheepishly ask why you called my attention, who loves who now
And then you had to apologize for your previous stupidity like you were so sad you couldn't sleep at night for 2 days, you had to wake me up with your mention I know I was in your thoughts boo, and I know I have a way of sliding in like that, I have that effect,but you ain't worth a dot dude, that is how irrelevant you are to me,

What a pathetic creature. [/s]

Not interested

bukatyne:


There is a movie 'Disturbed'. by Fredrick Leonard and Kiki Omeilli

When you watch it the first time, you will think the guy is evil till you get to the end.

If it was real, the husband would have gone mad.

Yea well, regarding your edit to 'people', surely you understand the context here is verbal abuse by an instigator who believes they will be safe from physical abuse...and guess which gender is guilty of this? Yes, women.

crackhaus:

Yea well, regarding your edit to 'people', surely you understand the context here is verbal abuse by an instigator who believes they will be safe from physical abuse...and guess which gender is guilty of this? Yes, women.

Hahahahahaha!

Mindfulness:
Ok.

crackhaus:

LMAO, painment, using meme to console himself

bukatyne:


So if I call you a b!tch on NL now, you will trace my house and beat me up?

If I am a girl next door who sees you once a month and call you a slut, it will be same as when your boyfriend calls you slut every time you have a fracas?

And who said Verbal abuse -----> Physical abuse is right?

Whatever rocks your boat ma'am.

Yes if you calling me a bitch hurts me, I'd trace you and beat you up, isn't your point verbal abuse equals physical abuse?

Yes it is same cos you both said negative untrue words about me,

Did I give you the impression that verbal and physical abuse is right?

Lol.

bukatyne:


Hahahahahaha!

Admit it, I'm right

crackhaus:

Admit it, I'm right

You are late to the party

I have already stated it earlier.

Let me find it

Note the bold:

bukatyne:


So are we basing physical violence on force now? What if the guy was sick and his lady's hands made him slump and die? Would the court still consider the force? How do we know his life was not in danger? Haven't we seen women kill their men?

I agree with you that people should not ideally that laws into their hands. What I am saying in addition is that people should not verbally abuse others with the hope that the abused person would look at them and go to the nearest police station.

We are humans with emotions and blood flowing. We are not robots programmed with A, B and C. You constantly call a man with a large family a bastard, he might shake it off. You call a man abandoned in an orphanage/ denied by his father a bastard constantly and he will snap one day.

When we are tempted to verbally abuse people, let us put ourselves in the shoes of the other person and do the right thing. Not start the madness in the first place.

We are having this discussion because it is believed that women are the more verbally abusive so men should give them a pass, walk away, hit a wall, ignore bla bla bla.

Funnily, this doesn't even bode well for women rights movement and the right to be seen as equal as a man. If a woman sees herself as equal, she should be freaking ready to face the consequences of running her mouth. The man might ignore her, pick another lover, walk away (which some stupid women still jack their men till they receive a slap), or slap her back.

You cannot control people's reaction to verbal abuse.

Let us avoid it altogether or if you are verbally abuse and you receive a slap, take it as the repercussion of your verbal abuse and sort out your issues.

liberalchick:

The first part of the bolded falls under “sustained abuse”.

There you go!

Humans can walk away! If those that think they can’t win the physical battle can walk away then everyone can, so that’s no longer a justification. You walk away and if what you walked away from is a crime, report it.

People can walk away.

Do I want to find out if the person I am fingering their mind would walk away?

No.

I am not that bold.

And if someone close to me keeps saying the wrong things after warnings and even looking inwards, they will pay for it (whatever I deem appropriate) .