I had to create a new moniker to post this.

I hate posting private issues but we all need a sounding board to check our ideas to prevent us from over reacting

I am married with a son. Like all homes we do have our ups and down.
This morning my wife received a call from a colleague. She (wife) works as a branch manager in a financial establishment. The call was from a subordinate. My wife was asking her if she remembered to tell her boyfriend to buy them the chicken.
I got interested in the conversation and i prodded my wife for more explanation and she said the said colleague is dating a married man who happens to live in my neighborhood.
I was shocked!
Her excuse was that the colleague was extremely obesed and had little or no chasers.
I just contained myself because i was already going out this morning to conclude a transaction.
But right within me, i am already bursting at the seams.

I don't want to say what's on my mind but i am shock that her morale compass is dead. How can she subtly encourage her friend to wreak another home? All because she is fat.

I want mature ladies and married men to weigh in on this issue. No immature stuff pls.
I am seated in my office trying to digest this info and my next line of action once i get home.
am i over-reacting?


Pls mod dont take this to front page.

People marry obese women and if she feels obesity is the reason why she isn't getting admiration from men, she should work out and burn the fat.

As for your wife, you should ask her how she would take it if you were the boyfriend of some other woman.

Fillibuster:
I had to create a new moniker to post this.

I hate posting private issues but we all need a sounding board to check our ideas to prevent us from over reacting

I am married with a son. Like all homes we do have our ups and down.
This morning my wife received a call from a colleague. She (wife) works as a branch manager in a financial establishment. The call was from a subordinate. My wife was asking her if she remembered to tell her boyfriend to buy them the chicken.
I got interested in the conversation and i prodded my wife for more explanation and she said the said colleague is dating a married man who happens to live in my neighborhood.
I was shocked!
Her excuse was that the colleague was extremely obesed and had little or no chasers.
I just contained myself because i was already going out this morning to conclude a transaction.
But right within me, i am already bursting at the seams.

I don't want to say what's on my mind but i am shock that her morale compass is dead. How can she subtly encourage her friend to wreak another home? All because she is fat.

I want mature ladies and married men to weigh in on this issue. No immature stuff pls.
I am seated in my office trying to digest this info and my next line of action once i get home.
am i over-reacting?


Pls mod dont take this to front page.

Olboy cool down be like say you be small pikin, your wife sabi well well, na mature girl. Btw, how that your girlfriend?

For a married woman to act like that shows that she does not have regard for the institution called marriage. My conclusion is that your wife can as well get entangled with another man.

Your wife and her colleague want to go to a fetish priest, so your wife is calling her to tell her she shouldn't forget to buy the chicken for the sacrifice.

This sacrifice is going to help your wife's friend get a man.

Your wife knows the location of the juju priest that's why she's the one reminding the Obessed lady.

Lastly it seems if you create a new monicker these days you're going to hit front page.

My issue here is with you wife, so permit me to be frankly. She’s a bad person, how can she even condone such behavior as a married woman? She is setting the wrong examples for woman within her circle.

With her status as a branch manager, it’s chicken, maybe Sharwama , ice cream etc that’s her problem, if she see dollars nko? She go throw way her pant with wedding ring be that. Guy, you need to train this girl into a responsible woman then wife.

Are you sure your wife did not charm you into marriage.. Anyway you need to speak some sense into her.

so cos she is ur wife,she must be morally 100% as human...as such must not have crazy friends/people around her...ur wife's friend chose how to live her own life,so don't let her friend's wayward lifestyle affect ur marriage...allow ur wife to be...unless na ur wife coordinate d whole stuff.then u have something to worry about..dat she knows of it does not make her an accomplice.

Your wife was probably just being playful or teasing her, it's not enough to bring in the cavalry.

Just in case you didn't know, majority of Nigerian women actually have no moral objection to dating married men or being friends with a woman who does.
The ones who object to it do so strictly on religious principle.

For women in the first category of 'having no moral objection', it only becomes a big problem to them when that married man is their husband, or father.

Baba go home and call that woman to order. throw questions at her, ask for explanation of her unethical moral compass. If as a married person she have disregard for another Man's home, it a red flag your home too is worth little to nothing to her.

have a long talk with her.

What if you're the person her friend is supposedly dating how will she take it?

I blame your wife for telling you about her friend’s personal life.
Now, you want to pass judgement on your wife.
I have always maintained the decree that MARRIED people should not have SINGLE, WIDOWED or DIVORCED friends for reasons like this. Different HUSTLES, different RUNZ!

Your wife needs to learn to maintain boundaries.
If she must keep friends, she must learn to keep their lives out of her matrimonial home and vice versa.

As for you, I don’t blame you much. Don’t face your “manly bizz”, keep tying wrapper and gossip worse than womenfolk.
If your male friend were cheating, would you judge him in the same manner or tell your wife?
I blame your wife for having a “lose tongue”
That is how women dig their own graves by telling everything to their husbands thinking they are fostering trust.
Men have very shallow and petty minds generally-speaking.
Anything you tell them(hussies) WILL BE USED AGAINST the wives at some point in the future.

Can the wife’s friend ever come to that house without being under the scrutiny of sanctimonious, matrimonial gossips aka judgmental hypocrites?

You better sit her down and have a straightforward talk with her to be sure she herself isn't into such stuff..

KanwuliaExtra:
I blame your wife for telling you about her friend’s personal life.
Now, you want to pass judgement on your wife.
I have always maintained the decree that MARRIED people should not have SINGLE, WIDOWED or DIVORCED friends for reasons like this. Different HUSTLES, different RUNZ!

Your wife needs to learn to maintain boundaries.
If she must keep friends, she must learn to keep their lives out of her matrimonial home and vice versa.

As for you, I don’t blame you much. Don’t face your “manly bizz”, keep tying wrapper and gossip worse than womenfolk.
If your male friend were cheating, would you judge him in the same manner or tell your wife?
I blame your wife for having a “lose tongue”
That is how women dig their own graves by telling everything to their husbands thinking they are fostering trust.
Men have very shallow and petty minds generally-speaking.
Anything you tell them WILL BE USED AGAINST the wives at some point in the future.

Can the wife’s friend ever come to that house without being under the scrutiny of sanctimonious, matrimonial gossips aka judgmental hypocrites?

I am not surprised in your comment. Are you not the proud and unapologetic two-timer? Moral debasement is the order of the day in our society today.

@ OP caution your wife amicably. Don't make issue out of it so that it won't degenerate into quarrel. Tell her with lovely soft tones that she's above this, she is a mirror and a role model for her children and others. Tell her to gradually pull herself from that friend. Don't make it ultimatum, just let her know that she shouldn't be supporting an evil that she cannot take.

@Fillibuster

Thanks for sharing

Before you do anything rash, you may also want to consider your current level of communication with your wife.

From what you said, it seems you guys haven't had much heart-to-heart communication on your worldviews. And you can't just jump into laying down laws overnight, if you want a harmonious relationship.

Focus on learning how to communicate your thoughts better. Communication is something we can all get better at.

Thanks again

Oga what ever you do. just take it calm and don't get angry with her.

You can resolve it and even hear more that you haven't heard from her if you take it easy..

Don't get angry and don't take it on her, instead show more love and seek to know... then you can stylishly make your own inputs..

Your wife is that colleague when you're not around


It's finished bro

donbachi:
so cos she is ur wife,she must be morally 100% as human...as such must not have crazy friends/people around her...ur wife's friend chose how to live her own life,so don't let her friend's wayward lifestyle affect ur marriage...allow ur wife to be...unless na ur wife coordinate d whole stuff.then u have something to worry about..dat she knows of it does not make her an accomplice.

You are very sensible.

Fillibuster:
I had to create a new moniker to post this.

I hate posting private issues but we all need a sounding board to check our ideas to prevent us from over reacting

I am married with a son. Like all homes we do have our ups and down.
This morning my wife received a call from a colleague. She (wife) works as a branch manager in a financial establishment. The call was from a subordinate. My wife was asking her if she remembered to tell her boyfriend to buy them the chicken.
I got interested in the conversation and i prodded my wife for more explanation and she said the said colleague is dating a married man who happens to live in my neighborhood.
I was shocked!
Her excuse was that the colleague was extremely obesed and had little or no chasers.
I just contained myself because i was already going out this morning to conclude a transaction.
But right within me, i am already bursting at the seams.

I don't want to say what's on my mind but i am shock that her morale compass is dead. How can she subtly encourage her friend to wreak another home? All because she is fat.

I want mature ladies and married men to weigh in on this issue. No immature stuff pls.
I am seated in my office trying to digest this info and my next line of action once i get home.
am i over-reacting?


Pls mod dont take this to front page.

Hmmmm!

Most Nigerians have no moral scruples as far as it doesn't affect them.

So she can encourage her friend to sleep with a married man and collect chicken till it is her own husband.

For your wife to tell you also means you have projected an image that you see nothing wrong in extra-martial affairs. Before you bite me, she MOST LIKELY will not tell her pastor or church sister that.

My advise:
When you get home, tell her you have been thinking of the call to her friend earlier today and ask how she would feel if she were to be the wife of the chicken buying man.

Then advise her that she should not encourage the relationship or be a party to it. While your wife cannot control her 'friend's' life and actions, she can show distaste for them.

For instance, your wife lets her know her changed stance on extra-marital affairs and have nothing to do with the man e.g. collecting his chicken

Again, I am also tempted to say 'show me your friend and I will tell you who you are.'

Nothing spoil YET.

Izzyovercomer:
@ OP caution your wife amicably. Don't make issue out of it so that it won't degenerate into quarrel. T[b]ell her with lovely soft tones that she's above this, she is a mirror and a role model for her children and others. Tell her to gradually pull herself from that friend. Don't make it ultimatum, just let her know that she shouldn't be supporting an evil that she cannot take[/b].

Very well said.

Fillibuster:
I had to create a new moniker to post this.

I hate posting private issues but we all need a sounding board to check our ideas to prevent us from over reacting

I am married with a son. Like all homes we do have our ups and down.
This morning my wife received a call from a colleague. She (wife) works as a branch manager in a financial establishment. The call was from a subordinate. My wife was asking her if she remembered to tell her boyfriend to buy them the chicken.
I got interested in the conversation and i prodded my wife for more explanation and she said the said colleague is dating a married man who happens to live in my neighborhood.
I was shocked!
Her excuse was that the colleague was extremely obesed and had little or no chasers.
I just contained myself because i was already going out this morning to conclude a transaction.
But right within me, i am already bursting at the seams.

I don't want to say what's on my mind but i am shock that her morale compass is dead. How can she subtly encourage her friend to wreak another home? All because she is fat.

I want mature ladies and married men to weigh in on this issue. No immature stuff pls.
I am seated in my office trying to digest this info and my next line of action once i get home.
am i over-reacting?


Pls mod dont take this to front page.

Please take it easy before you burst your wife. Women joke a lot and even if she is serious. Let her be please. You can talk to her another day when the heat has subsided.

donbachi:
so cos she is ur wife,she must be morally 100% as human...as such must not have crazy friends/people around her...ur wife's friend chose how to live her own life,so don't let her friend's wayward lifestyle affect ur marriage...allow ur wife to be...unless na ur wife coordinate d whole stuff.then u have something to worry about..dat she knows of it does not make her an accomplice.

The fact she has crazy people around her doesn't mean she should encourage or be a party of their crazy lifestyle.

bukatyne:


Hmmmm!

Most Nigerians have no moral scruples as far as it doesn't affect them.

So she can encourage her friend to sleep with a married man and collect chicken till it is her own husband.

For your wife to tell you also means you have projected an image that you see nothing wrong in extra-martial affairs. Before you bite me, she MOST LIKELY will not tell her pastor or church sister that.

My advise:
When you get home, tell her you have been thinking of the call to her friend earlier today and ask how she would feel if she were to be the wife of the chicken buying man.

Then advise her that she should not encourage the relationship or be a party to it. While your wife cannot control her 'friend's' life and actions, she can show distaste for them.

For instance, your wife lets her know her changed stance on extra-marital affairs and have nothing to do with the man e.g. collecting his chicken

Again, I am also tempted to say 'show me your friend and I will tell you who you are.'

Nothing spoil YET.

Yet again, you wowed me with your comment.


Respect to the Queen.

Izzyovercomer:



I am not surprised in your comment. Are you not the proud and unapologetic two-timer? Moral debasement is the order of the day in our society today.

Proudly so! The reason I only keep friends LIKE moi of equal ranking with status of expert club-members of “chop, clean mouth+nyansh, STAY HAPPILY MARRIED AND SUPER-EMPLOYED” PLC! Not jobless, swagless, Christo-Sharia housewives with woman-wrapper husbands!

E dey pain you?

Go and get married AND STAY married for 20 years ++++, then come back to address me.
Your rusty, diabolical , NIGERIAN, moral compass of stinking hypocrisy I could surely do without. Please, step aside.

KanwuliaExtra:


Proudly so! The reason I only keep friends LIKE moi with equal ranking of expert club-members “chop, clean mouth, STAY HAPPILY MARRIED AND SUPER-EMPLOYED” PLC! Not jobless, swagless, Christo-Sharia housewives with woman-wrapper husbands!

E dey pain you?

Go and get married AND STAY married for 20 years ++++, then come back to address me.
Your rusty, diabolical , NIGERIAN, moral compass of stinking hypocrisy I could surely do without. Please, step aside.

So much emotion in defence of a miss-step.

mrblessed:
So much emotion in defence of a miss-step.

It will not be a bad idea to face the topic at hand.

I can always understand the level of acrimonious envy against super-extramarital choppers on/off NL against those who can stay married and still CHOP and CLEAN TINZ!

E easy?
Go try na.

How do we do it? Arrrrgggggh!
By skillful and CONFIDENT CHOPPING of better market OBOKUN.


Unlike those of you who got married on NL with all your ITK, you use your mouth and fingers to gossip all over your villages and social media. Everything is subject to discussion and validation from nonentities. How can you last even 10 years in your so-called Christian holy-holy marriages, because you have never learned to mind your business?


Now, here is the REAL MISS-STEP!
I can NEVER-EVER discuss ANY of my friends with my husband and vice-versa! You all will keep learning the HARRRRRRRDEST ways.

Oh! What hypocritical novices!

Op leave her alone to live her life at least she's not cheating on you so just give them space biko you too like gossip

Oga colleague and friend is not the same thing. If you had said 'friend' then I will advice you to caution your wife against keeping such loose friends but if it's ordinary 'colleague' advice your woman to keep her distance from her but don't judge her based on it

She shouldn't encourage the colleague to date the married man b/c she wouldn't want someone doing the same with her own husband.

You will soon destroy your marriage by yourself.
Oversabi gossip

KanwuliaExtra:


Proudly so! The reason I only keep friends LIKE moi with equal ranking of expert club-members “chop, clean mouth, STAY HAPPILY MARRIED AND SUPER-EMPLOYED” PLC! Not jobless, swagless, Christo-Sharia housewives with woman-wrapper husbands!

E dey pain you?

Go and get married AND STAY married for 20 years ++++, then come back to address me.
Your rusty, diabolical , NIGERIAN, moral compass of stinking hypocrisy I could surely do without. Please, step aside.

KanwuliaExtra:


It will not be a bad idea to face the topic at hand. I can always understand the level of acrimonious envy against supper extramarital choppers on can still married and can still CHOP!

How do we do it?
Unlike those of you who got married on NL with all your ITK and can’t last even 10 years in your so-called Christian holy-holy marriages, because you have never learned to mind your business.


Now, that is the REAL MISS-STEP!
I can NEVER discuss ANY of my friends with my husband and vice-versa! You all will keep learning the HARRRRRRRDEST ways. ;

Oh! What hypocritical novices!

chai! I missed you sha. happy holidays. how chichi dem? I wish there was a way to compress your sagacity and experience into one ingestable pill or injection and administer once and for all. I go dey alright