Edusouls:
How old are you?

Old
enough to stop caring.

Shibaraba:
Most times written by the unmarried.
No successfully married person will tell you to divorce. .. Never.



One word from a successfully married lady I once met...



Patience .


When patience dey, everything is in order

That's false, will patience also be applicable in a physically abusive relationship

philfearon:


1] Be friends with your spouse during the day and be lovers at night.

2] If you want to make love to your wife at night, start in the morning.

3] Things change — respect each other and be willing to change. Remain flexible and open to compromise.

4] Stay true — cheating never works — never surrender your integrity.

5] Listen more than you talk. Think more than you say.

6] Don’t keep score. You don’t win at marriage. Strive to stay even.

7] Intimacy and affection are not always sexual. A promise is as good as the act.

8] Women crave sex for intimacy and acceptance — Men crave sex for validation. If either isn’t getting what they need, they will seek it elsewhere.

9] Sometimes she just wants to be held. If she doesn’t she’ll let you know.

10] Let him know you are interested. Don’t think he should see you are interested and act accordingly. If you want it ask.

11] Pick up after yourself. Flip the laundry. Do the dishes. Cook a meal or two or three ect and change a diaper. Neither took a vow to be the maid — if you did — the 1800’s called and want their vow back.

12] Don’t pick a fight. Stop. Wait. Think. Then say what you mean and mean what you say after you stop being angry.

13] Don’t go in thinking he or she will change or you will change them. Change grows organically from within.

14] A divorce is like finding a woman you hate and buying her a house. If that joke isn’t funny — don’t buy a house.

15] Maintain your financial independence. Everyone who was ever married either died or were divorced — you’ll need your financial independence.

16] Sometimes she cries for no reason — sometimes he broods over non-sense. This too shall pass.

17] He or she might be your one, but eventually they will be the half or the quarter — strive to keep growing back together.

18] Watch her family and see how her father treats her mother — that’s her expectation. Watch his family — that’s his expectation. If you can’t imagine living in such an environment — you won’t — don’t hesitate to reset your expectations.

19] Roughly a third of people will suffer from a mental illness during their lifetime. Better than even chance one of you will become ill. Acceptance — Treatment, early and often.

20] Children change everything. She will unapologetically love her children more than she loves you. If you can’t handle that, wrap it in latex.

21] Most fights start over money and end in the bedroom — good or bad.

22] A three-some is never a good idea. It’s a desperate decision — a cancer with no cure. If you have an open relationship, good for you, but follow your rules. Mileage varies.

23] Space is more than what’s 20 miles straight up, or the inches between your ears. Maintain your space and allow him or her their’s.

24] Don’t threaten divorce — you either are or you aren’t. Threats breed fear — fear leads to distrust — It’s nearly impossible to earn someone’s trust, again.

25] If you are on the couch and your spouse is doing chores you are in the wrong place. Do things together.

26] If one of you is using drugs/alcohol and the other isn’t — there’s a problem. There is help available — use it.

27] You are married the person they are, but you’ll be in love with the person they were — reconcile those statements.

28] Once it’s over, it’s over. Move on quickly and quietly.

29] We can’t do anything about the ex parked outside your house — nor can we stop them from sleeping with someone new. Neither of you took a vow of celibacy. The contrary is true.

30] Don’t drunk text, call, write, or skype — Don’t drunk anything except sleep.

31] If you can’t control your emotions — leave — take a walk — pray. But whatever you do, don’t hit, slap, grab, pull, push, hug, knock, slam, choke, pinch, pin, head lock, arm bar, round kick, front kick or beat each other in anyway shape, form or fashion. If you must fight, use your words and remember anger equals ten feet. Never pick up a weapon in anger.

32] Spousal rape is real. No still means No — even if there’s a ring, a vow and several days/weeks/months/years of unrealized expectations.

May the Lord grant you the courage to change the things you must, the grace to accept the things you can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference.


QUORA

Beautiful piece, but you know a car needs an engine to work no matter how beautiful the car is? Whats the engine to effect all these?

philfearon:


1] Be friends with your spouse during the day and be lovers at night.

2] If you want to make love to your wife at night, start in the morning.

3] Things change — respect each other and be willing to change. Remain flexible and open to compromise.

4] Stay true — cheating never works — never surrender your integrity.

5] Listen more than you talk. Think more than you say.

6] Don’t keep score. You don’t win at marriage. Strive to stay even.

7] Intimacy and affection are not always sexual. A promise is as good as the act.

8] Women crave sex for intimacy and acceptance — Men crave sex for validation. If either isn’t getting what they need, they will seek it elsewhere.

9] Sometimes she just wants to be held. If she doesn’t she’ll let you know.

10] Let him know you are interested. Don’t think he should see you are interested and act accordingly. If you want it ask.

11] Pick up after yourself. Flip the laundry. Do the dishes. Cook a meal or two or three ect and change a diaper. Neither took a vow to be the maid — if you did — the 1800’s called and want their vow back.

12] Don’t pick a fight. Stop. Wait. Think. Then say what you mean and mean what you say after you stop being angry.

13] Don’t go in thinking he or she will change or you will change them. Change grows organically from within.

14] A divorce is like finding a woman you hate and buying her a house. If that joke isn’t funny — don’t buy a house.

15] Maintain your financial independence. Everyone who was ever married either died or were divorced — you’ll need your financial independence.

16] Sometimes she cries for no reason — sometimes he broods over non-sense. This too shall pass.

17] He or she might be your one, but eventually they will be the half or the quarter — strive to keep growing back together.

18] Watch her family and see how her father treats her mother — that’s her expectation. Watch his family — that’s his expectation. If you can’t imagine living in such an environment — you won’t — don’t hesitate to reset your expectations.

19] Roughly a third of people will suffer from a mental illness during their lifetime. Better than even chance one of you will become ill. Acceptance — Treatment, early and often.

20] Children change everything. She will unapologetically love her children more than she loves you. If you can’t handle that, wrap it in latex.

21] Most fights start over money and end in the bedroom — good or bad.

22] A three-some is never a good idea. It’s a desperate decision — a cancer with no cure. If you have an open relationship, good for you, but follow your rules. Mileage varies.

23] Space is more than what’s 20 miles straight up, or the inches between your ears. Maintain your space and allow him or her their’s.

24] Don’t threaten divorce — you either are or you aren’t. Threats breed fear — fear leads to distrust — It’s nearly impossible to earn someone’s trust, again.

25] If you are on the couch and your spouse is doing chores you are in the wrong place. Do things together.

26] If one of you is using drugs/alcohol and the other isn’t — there’s a problem. There is help available — use it.

27] You are married the person they are, but you’ll be in love with the person they were — reconcile those statements.

28] Once it’s over, it’s over. Move on quickly and quietly.

29] We can’t do anything about the ex parked outside your house — nor can we stop them from sleeping with someone new. Neither of you took a vow of celibacy. The contrary is true.

30] Don’t drunk text, call, write, or skype — Don’t drunk anything except sleep.

31] If you can’t control your emotions — leave — take a walk — pray. But whatever you do, don’t hit, slap, grab, pull, push, hug, knock, slam, choke, pinch, pin, head lock, arm bar, round kick, front kick or beat each other in anyway shape, form or fashion. If you must fight, use your words and remember anger equals ten feet. Never pick up a weapon in anger.

32] Spousal rape is real. No still means No — even if there’s a ring, a vow and several days/weeks/months/years of unrealized expectations.

May the Lord grant you the courage to change the things you must, the grace to accept the things you can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference.


QUORA

Ok

This is the best article I have see on this platform. Kudos to the brain behind this. So much to learn.

Thanks and God bless you.