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I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job - Family (13) - Nairaland

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Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Hestywhyt(f): 1:12am On Jan 08, 2020
Ifyjos:
I’m ready but am scared about the outcome , am thinking how to get them back together without them knowing I and my guy are the culprits. I’m helpless and I can’t sleep
Does your guy feel the same way you feel?

Call the fiance the same way you guys did the first time and apologize to him...explain to him exactly how you guys scheme the break up...start from him and I believe their are people around you who your sister respects, her pastor maybe but be ready to face the consequences and let them know how remorseful you are and please don't try defend your boyfriend during this process...fight for you and your family's happiness first...wish you the best and God's mercy

1 Like

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by 1Sharon(f): 1:13am On Jan 08, 2020
So no one is going to question how it was so easy for a BF to listen to what some strangers said about his fiancee and dumped her so easily with no investigation?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 1:16am On Jan 08, 2020
He is 29
1Sharon:


How old is ur BF?
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by mayten(m): 1:16am On Jan 08, 2020
[b][/b]
Meliian:


But they're sisters now? You get? Ok let me ask you this, is there any provocation that can lead you to call the police on your sibling? Come to think of it. Didn't the elder sister think about their parents? Now I'm not saying op was right, just saying as much as we're calling out the op, her sister too should be blamed.

And trust me, if op's bf had absconded when he got her pregnant, it's this same sinister elder sister that would remind op everyday that "you see, you gave birth to a bastard". She would have reminded op everyday that her child is a bastard without a moment's hesitation.

The thing about most of us is that, we've not yet fully grasped the concept of unconditional love. Unconditional love looks beyond past mistakes, forgives, and helps the other person grow. It guides them for as long as they need guidance and support. This is what I expect of the sister. If you must reprimand, do it once and move past it, not rip the other person of what's left of their self-confidence.



Not when you have an entitled sister with NFA attitude.........it's painful enough to see your 15 year old sister halt her life because she was put in a family way then she still has to bear the burden of funding whenever the baby Daddy defaults and den you constantly see that the guy is just there with no plans amd even the sister does not have plans. I normally dont pass judgment on people but with what the OP has been typing so far it shows the hatred she has for her sister is because she expected her sister to give her handouts amd someone without a plan would only squander whatever is given no matter how big. Even if she was my sister i would do anything for her until i see that she has a plan for herself and not just hoping that the guy would make it big one day when he himself invests his time and little resources on drinking and smoking. The sister might have gone at it the wrong way but she wanted the best for her baby sister who clearly repaid her back with evil. Remember She slapped her elder sister and her Baby Daddy joined hand and they slept in prison ( i still believe that's not the true account of the incident). And nobody is mentioning the time,resources and money she and her Baby daddy put into destroying her sister. If she had put the same time amd resources into planning her life,her sister wouldn't be insulting her Baby Daddy. And note she emphasized that her sister always insults her Baby Daddy and not her.

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Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by blujoi(m): 1:17am On Jan 08, 2020
Do you realize they have a child together? It’s so easy to throw blames when it’s not us involved. The family as a whole did not handle the matter well. The elder sister has a duty to call the guy and have a heart to heart talk with him. If the elder sister was thinking right,she should have been concerned in taking that guy off the street because her sister and her child is involved. Actions have consequences



PerseDew:


Your parents travelled and he took the opportunity to come to your house, you sis has been insulting him steady long before now, pls what was he expecting?? If your parents were at home, would they have welcomed him with open arms? He knew he was not welcomed in that house but went ahead to visit..if this is not looking for trouble then tell me what it is.

Like I said, she may be faulted but you and even him started it.

3 Likes

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by queenitee(f): 1:19am On Jan 08, 2020
blujoi:
Do you realize they have a child together? It’s so easy to throw blames when it’s not us involved. The family as a whole did not handle the matter well. The elder sister has a duty to call the guy and have a heart to heart talk with him. If the elder sister was thinking right,she should have been concerned in taking that guy off the street because her sister and her child is involved. Actions have consequences



You guys keep forgetting she never hinted us about the guy having plans for his life. Even if she try to take him off the street, if he has no plans for his life, he would still end up on the street. People don’t become rich by having no plans for their lives.
It’s not the fact that the guy is broke, it’s the fact that he has no plans!

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Meliian(f): 1:19am On Jan 08, 2020
queenitee:

No, your brain was deceiving you or you clearly do not comprehend the language you type so well. You are actually the one with a dead brain. And you would agree with me because everyone thinks you give dumb advice but by the way, it’s not you, it’s your lack of comprehension of the language. You meant something entirely different from all you’ve been typing.
Good night Lady.

This one is suffering from hallucination. Sorry lav, I don't know how to help you anymore. Now consider yourself ignored.
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Jaqenhghar: 1:19am On Jan 08, 2020
1Sharon:


Thank you. OP was pushed.
When people are doing the pushing no one sees. When someone retaliates na that one everybody go see.

4 Likes

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by 1Sharon(f): 1:20am On Jan 08, 2020
ceeceeuwa:
I just wish your sister's fiancé is a Nairalander so he can read this for himself.

Clearly his relationship is easily controllable if he can dump his GF over a random phone call.

Maybe them coming apart was a blessing in disguise for the elder sister.

If this story is true

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by BREYZ: 1:20am On Jan 08, 2020
Meliian:


Why quote me? Couldn't you have dropped your comment and pass? You see, you're not wise.

Attention seeker. I don't have your time.

3 Likes

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by queenitee(f): 1:21am On Jan 08, 2020
Meliian:


This one is suffering from hallucination. Sorry lav, I don't know how to help you anymore. Now consider yourself ignored.
grin grin I don’t need help, you do. Study a little more of the language, then you’d be able to read and comprehend better.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 1:25am On Jan 08, 2020
His the jealous type , he complains if she didn’t pick her phone in time and he will get angry at her , so we knew our plans will perfectly works especially if lots of people called and threatening him
1Sharon:
So no one is going to question how it was so easy for a BF to listen to what some strangers said about his fiancee and dumped her so easily with no investigation?
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by blujoi(m): 1:25am On Jan 08, 2020
She actually said the guys hustles and tries his best to provide for the baby. Read the story again. She said the guy is working at a car wash


queenitee:

You guys keep forgetting she never hinted us about the guy having plans for his life. Even if she try to take him off the street, if he has no plans for his life, he would still end up on the street. People don’t become rich by having no plans for their lives.
It’s not the fact that the guy is broke, it’s the fact that he has no plans!

1 Like

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Meliian(f): 1:26am On Jan 08, 2020
NoSidonLook:


You're just an idiot
Trying to form diplomatic...but no, you making yourself sound so dumb

No, read what you typed again and take your time. You're clearly the daft one here. Who brought you up like this by the way? Your dad?
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by lekonso: 1:28am On Jan 08, 2020
You are destroying your life and want to destroy your sister's life, you are a devil. You better confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and look for a good church to be attending to be hearing the word of God or else you will end up destroying your life completely. Your sister was to too caring, after talking to you and you did not listen she should have left you alone. If you want to destroy your life you are free to destroy it why adding the life of your sister, you are wicked. Confess your sin to God and your sister and ask for forgiveness from your sister and God and do away with that your ungodly baby daddy in other to get your life back on track or else you are on your way to hell fire.

1 Like

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Meliian(f): 1:28am On Jan 08, 2020
NoSidonLook:


Like the bastard that inserted his cursed sperm in your whoring mother
Useless slowpoke

You mean your father who banged the whoring life out of your mother simply because he picked her up from the gutters?

1 Like

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Nobody: 1:29am On Jan 08, 2020
blujoi:
Do you realize they have a child together? It’s so easy to throw blames when it’s not us involved. The family as a whole did not handle the matter well. The elder sister has a duty to call the guy and have a heart to heart talk with him. If the elder sister was thinking right,she should have been concerned in taking that guy off the street because her sister and her child is involved. Actions have consequences

Take the guy off the streets?

First, the elder sister doesn't have any obligation to do that

Second, from the op post, the guy doesn't seem like someone who's serious enough or ready to be responsible and accountable...

I mean, imagine him planning evil against his girlfriend's sister ..gosh



Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by 1Sharon(f): 1:29am On Jan 08, 2020
Meliian:


But they're sisters now? You get? Ok let me ask you this, is there any provocation that can lead you to call the police on your sibling? Come to think of it. Didn't the elder sister think about their parents? Now I'm not saying op was right, just saying as much as we're calling out the op, her sister too should be blamed.

And trust me, if op's bf had absconded when he got her pregnant, it's this same sinister elder sister that would remind op everyday that "you see, you gave birth to a bastard". She would have reminded op everyday that her child is a bastard without a moment's hesitation.

The thing about most of us is that, we've not yet fully grasped the concept of unconditional love. Unconditional love looks beyond past mistakes, forgives, and helps the other person grow. It guides them for as long as they need guidance and support. This is what I expect of the sister. If you must reprimand, do it once and move past it, not rip the other person of what's left of their self-confidence.

Thank you. I'm sure the OP already feels like shit for being a teen mum in a country like Nigeria. The sister kept twisting the knife, she didn't need that. What she needs is guidance

OP was pushed to the wall. Hurt people hurt others.

.

4 Likes

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by queenitee(f): 1:29am On Jan 08, 2020
blujoi:
She actually said the guys hustles and tries his best to provide for the baby. Read the story again. She said the guy is working at a car wash


We are talking plans. What if the guy is just the type that believes let me just go to work daily and come back with whatever I can get and we feed on it? What if that’s where his plans ends? Working is different from having plans.
Plans are the reasons why someone would receive his/her salary and squander it and another would receive his and spend it wisely, even save. Now, they are both working but there’s clearly a difference.
Plans bro, not just work, but plans.
You yourself, do you just work? Don’t you have plans?
And before you say he’s a hustler and can’t save, planning isn’t all about money.
Does he even have something he aspire to become? And tho he has no money yet, is he trying to meet people who are built, developing or already on the path he plans to take to learn from them? Now that’s planning and working towards achieving it, it’s not all about money.
Having plans alone isn’t enough also. You don’t just sit at home and nurse your plan and expect yourself to achieve it. Let’s assume his plan is to be a banker, he could have gone to a bank and even if it’s the security man he would meet and ask questions like “Those bankers, how do they dress, when do bank open and close? E.t.c” Now that’s a step. If it’s to identify a Banking and Finance student and ask him questions, that’s another step.
Imagine the case of two hard-working people working in the same company and who earn 50k, one enroll his kid in a school of 20,000 gives the kid 5k to lavish(not for school or anything o) gives the wife the 25k left without saving because he has no plans.
And someone who earns 50k, enroll his kid in a school of 10k, gives the child 1k to lavish, gives the wife 20k and saves the remaining 19k, has plans and work towards achieving it, finally made it. Who do you think the kids and wife will appreciate most? The one who spend highly on them but couldn’t improve their standard of living? or the one who didn’t spend that much but has plans and later made a way for them all?
Definitely the later and if we all are to judge, the former was the better father and husband but at the long run, he stopped being the better father and husband because he has no plans for his life and family.
Are the two not hardworking? It’s not also about hardwork alone

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 1:30am On Jan 08, 2020
Yes he is car washer and hard working
blujoi:
She actually said the guys hustles and tries his best to provide for the baby. Read the story again. She said the guy is working at a car wash


Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by blujoi(m): 1:30am On Jan 08, 2020
No need to waste your breath, just report the account for bullying


Meliian:


You mean your father who banged the whoring life out of your mother simply because he picked her up from the gutters?
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Nobody: 1:30am On Jan 08, 2020
BREYZ:


Attention seeker. I don't have your time.

Ignore the cheap local idiot

2 Likes

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by blujoi(m): 1:31am On Jan 08, 2020
Check through this post, I have given you a candid advice


Ifyjos:
Yes he is car washer and hard working
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by 1Sharon(f): 1:31am On Jan 08, 2020
Ifyjos:
He is 29

Chai!!!!!

Sorry I thought you were going to say 20 at the most.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Nobody: 1:32am On Jan 08, 2020
Ifyjos:
My story is long but I will cut short. I’m 20 years old and I have a 5 years old daughter , I’m still with her father but we are not living together. I’m still at home with my parents.

My elder sister is a banker she is engaged and her fiancé is a doctor, they were supposed to get married this February 2020. My elder sister Hates my guy a lot just because he is not educated, has no money, he drinks and Smokes but he is a good guy, he doesn’t beat or cheat on me , he gives money for our daughter upkeeps and she goes to school he is paying her school fees but sometime when he doesn’t have my sister will be paying but she will insult the hell out of me that I ruined my life by giving birth at a young age , I should have closed my legs she just says many things that really hurting me sometimes I cried and Whenever she sees my guy she will insulting him threatening to pour him hot water.

So it happened in July , our parents traveled to the village because my dad was very sick so my guy visited me at home and she came and saw him , she got angry and started raining insult at him as usual and I got angry and slapped her which lead to a very serious fight and she arrested me and my fiancé and we came out after 3 days my guy had to sign undertaken that he should not step his foot in our house again.

So he promised to deal with her in a way she will regret and I supported him, so we have decided to destroyed her relationship with her fiancé by arranging lots of boys and girls who are my guys friends to start calling her fiancé and threatening him to leave their girlfriends alone or they will kill him, so we had 7 boys and 2 girls also called him claiming that my sister is dating their husbands so he should warned her or they will do worse. Everything went according to our plans and we have succeed in destroying her relationship that her fiancé dumped her and cancelled the marriage in October.

She hasn’t been well since, she lost her job , she is totally depressed and all she does is crying and she lost so much weigh. I was so happy seeing her like that because she deserved it but I pretend like I care when I didn’t but now I just feel so bad because her condition is getting worsened.

Seeing her going to the hospital today really broke my heart and made me regretting what I and my guy did to her but I don’t know how to help her again. I wish I could talk to her and tell her everything we did and beg for her forgiveness but I’m scared because everybody in the family will hate me, they will disown me and throw me out of the house and I have nowhere else to go with my child. My guy stays with friends in a one room house.

I’m Feeling helpless
There's no need for witches and wizards with people like you. Because of an ordinary man, you ganged up on your sis, made her lose everything. Did she lie against you? If not that you're wayward, why should a 20 year old have a 5 year old child? She's hard, she's hard, but she's been supporting your entitled ass.
You're evil.

5 Likes

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 1:33am On Jan 08, 2020
Thank you so much. Yes she made me feel like having a child at a tender age is the end of world , she made loose my confidence and motivation. I just don’t know how to regain back my confidence
1Sharon:


Thank you. I'm sure the OP already feels like shit for being a teen mum in a country like Nigeria. The sister kept twisting the knife, she didn't need that. What she needs is guidance

OP was pushed to the wall. Hurt people hurt others.

.

1 Like

Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Enemyofpeace: 1:38am On Jan 08, 2020
You and your man should go to your sister's fiance and explain what you did to your sister, he might forgive you and still reconcile with your sister
Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 1:40am On Jan 08, 2020
He is 29 and we are cool
1Sharon:


Chai!!!!!

Sorry I thought you were going to say 20 at the most.

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