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How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. - Romance - Nairaland

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How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by SlimyJ: 11:30am On Jan 08
Currently I'm in tears,my heart is disturbed...
I'm a single mother of one boy (4years old),my first relationship cracked based on family issues mainly the guy's mom,she claimed she can't allow me to marry his son cause I'm TOO EXPENSIVE,she married another girl for him,my baby was just 9months old then,after lot of patching up, everyday beating, cheating and violence,we decided to quit the marriage. He didn't bother to take care of the child at all,things became difficult for me but my mom has been there all through,I went back to learn hair making,beads making and cake making which I did my freedom and had my certificate,God has been so faithful to me and I'm flourishing,then I met a guy earlier last year...
He is a graduate,he is loving and looks calm,he do carry me along in everything he does,he even loved my son and he do pay partly out all his bills, he is free with my family and friends,behold I thought I found love.....
July last year,I had to travel out of the country for a business trip,the trip should have lasted for 6months,but unfortunately I spent only a month there cause of some reasons,I had to call this guy that I will be coming home earlier than we planned,our plans was that after I'm back we will get married,I was shocked when he told me on phone that he did a mistake when I left for just a month and put another woman in a family way,I was very hurt,I wept and shouted,we were not on speaking terms when I entered the country,but he pleaded together with his friends and he suggested that the lady will abort the pregnancy,I told him I don't buy that idea that he should just let me be and he should face the girl,few days later he came back begging that the girl already aborted the pregnancy that can I see now that God wanted us to marry, he even told me to get pregnant and I replied I can't make another mistake until he walks me down the aisle,after a long talk in days we resolved the issue and we were back together,he even do pampered me than before. Lately I discovered that any little issues always result to arguments,I suddenly don't no how to do anything good anymore,he is one day cold and the second day harsh. At mid November,I decided to call him to attention that why is he just like that,and he said he is not happy cause he is broke,we started praying together for better days, he do call me close to 6 times in a day but suddenly changed to twice a day and later he switched to calling once in two days, though we do chat.
To cut my long story short,on the 30th of December,he just called me that he will be going to his town for the new year festival,I was like when have you been planning that and he said not long,on the cross over night he called to pray for me at exactly 12:02am and we were both happy,then he stopped calling for two days. On Saturday 4th of January,he called very early to greet me,then I discovered he had cattarh ,I told him to go to the clinic and treat himself he said he doesn't have any money on him,I sent him some cash to treat himself,he chatted me frequently ,he even called me more than 10 times that day,I wasn't even suspicious and we've been cool since then..
Last night he called me that he is back and will like to take me for breakfast this morning and get me some things from the store. We were at the pounded yam kitchen when some messages entered my WhatsApp inbox ,I managed to open with my left hand,to my greatest surprised they were images of this guy's introduction on that very Saturday with that same girl he told me had aborted the pregnancy,I was so shocked,I lost my appetite immediately and I bursted out into tears,he wasn't even remorseful,all he only said was that ....I've heard and I've heard be that....
I've been weeping since then, mummies in the house,are men really this wicked??

3 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by donbachi(m): 11:36am On Jan 08
Sometimes...when she does not know what she is doing,but what is doing her knows her very well...abeg no vex,na Dubai u go?

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by madone: 11:37am On Jan 08
Hmmmm so so bad dear
I fear if u will ever love again but I know u will be fine

3 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by lomprico(m): 11:37am On Jan 08
No, you were unfortunate to have met with wicked ones.

sorry for the hurt.

1 Like

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Shibaraba(m): 11:55am On Jan 08
Even me wey get bad mouth dey touched

I can't advise you but I'll say this, to those out there supporting divorce upandan this is one of the results in the long run. No man, I repeat, no man is comfortable with a woman that was once married especially single mamas. If them dey na 1%. Those 1% will still cheat. We will tell you we don't care, we love you, blah blah blah, but na for the kpomo .After chawing it na to look for chassis tear rubber. Some will attack this reality here and I'll ignore in my shibaraba way but that's the truth. Protect and endure. Soon we always calm down.

May God grant you happiness. This love of a thing ehn. Make we just dey look.

42 Likes 1 Share

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by 2dice01: 11:55am On Jan 08
Sorry madam

I guess the best thing is you channeling all your love to your Son cus most naija guys find it hard settling down with someone else Babymama

11 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Nobody: 12:01pm On Jan 08
Sorry my dear but you have been a side chick to him without you knowing.

The lady he got pregnant is his main chick and that was why he did her introduction.

His friends, the same friend that came to beg you to forgive him when he got the main chick pregnant, is the same friend that sent you his introduction photos because he don't want you to continue wasting your time.

I am going to be very honest with you.
My dear count your losses and move on with your Life, focus on yourself and your son for now.

I think Ladies should start uploading pictures of any guy they want to start a relationship with, on social media. Be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, 2go, nairaland, etc

So that any Lady that is in relationship with the men will come outside and claim him or any body that knows about him can start telling you about him.

This way, cheating will reduce, heartbreak will be no more and any man that is not claimed on social media for one month is indeed your man.

Saint samurai has spoken, court rise!!!!!!

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by LordKO(m): 12:46pm On Jan 08
Sorry, you got involved with a disingenuous man - the worst class of small-minded people any person, especially an undiscerning person, can get involved with is anyone who's disingenuous. Unfortunately, disingenuousness doesn't know gender. Are you sure he didn't just give you a dose of your own medicine?

Dust down yourself and embrace the future. Your major concern now should be how to avoid getting involved with his kind again - I'd like to believe that you aren't his kind. Take to discernment and always make sure you come into equity with clean hands, and abhor and discard nonsense with alacrity whenever you perceive it.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Michelle55(f): 1:25pm On Jan 08
SaintsSamurai:
Sorry my dear but you have been a side chick to him without you knowing.

The lady he got pregnant is his main chick and that was why he did her introduction.

His friends, the same friend that came to beg you to forgive him when he got the main chick pregnant, is the same friend that sent you his introduction photos because he don't want you to continue wasting your time.

I am going to be very honest with you.
My dear count your losses and move on with your Life, focus on yourself and your son for now.

I think Ladies should start uploading pictures of any guy they want to start a relationship with, on social media. Be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, 2go, nairaland, etc

So that any Lady that is in relationship with the men will come outside and claim him or any body that knows about him can start telling you about him.

This way, cheating will reduce, heartbreak will be no more and any man that is not claimed on social media for one month is indeed your man
.

Saint samurai has spoken, court rise!!!!!!

I support this one.. Its very mean and unacceptable to waste someone's time and commitment all in the name of relationship...
If you know you don't see a future with him/her, kindly state it from the onset so that they will know if to continue with the fling/short term arrangements or not.
Op, I'm sorry you have to go through this heartbreak, just learn to move on and channel your attention to your kid.. Some men are really not worth the stress.
Note: Not all men are like the animal you described above in your write up

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by SlimyJ: 1:30pm On Jan 08
Shibaraba:
Even me wey get bad mouth dey touched

I can't advise you but I'll say this, to those out there supporting divorce upandan this is one of the results in the long run. No man, I repeat, no man is comfortable with a woman that was once married especially single mamas. If them dey na 1%. Those 1% will still cheat. We will tell you we don't care, we love you, blah blah blah, but na for the kpomo .After chawing it na to look for chassis tear rubber. Some will attack this reality here and I'll ignore in my shibaraba way but that's the truth. Protect and endure. Soon we always calm down.

May God grant you happiness. This love of a thing ehn. Make we just dey look.

He did the introduction with another single mom..

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Prettiedame: 1:36pm On Jan 08
Shibaraba:
Even me wey get bad mouth dey touched

I can't advise you but I'll say this, to those out there supporting divorce upandan this is one of the results in the long run. No man, I repeat, no man is comfortable with a woman that was once married especially single mamas. If them dey na 1%. Those 1% will still cheat. We will tell you we don't care, we love you, blah blah blah, but na for the kpomo .After chawing it na to look for chassis tear rubber. Some will attack this reality here and I'll ignore in my shibaraba way but that's the truth. Protect and endure. Soon we always calm down.

May God grant you happiness. This love of a thing ehn. Make we just dey look.

This story isn't a reason for people to stop supporting divorce, especially from an abusive spouse. I see no correlation with it and your post...

OP, you are here saying men are generally wicked. Don't become a bitter woman. You have only been unlucky and undiscerning

2 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by zmpp(f): 1:59pm On Jan 08
call him out here if he is a member of this forum

1 Like

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by itsme01: 2:00pm On Jan 08



the guy is crazy jare , why do all this because of mere Vagina, perhaps he is polygamous in nature..

the guy is wicked and not all men are like him,

..

4 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Nobody: 2:25pm On Jan 08
zmpp:
call him out here if he is a member of this forum

For what?

4 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by SlimyJ: 2:36pm On Jan 08
donbachi:
Sometimes...when she does not know what she is doing,but what is doing her knows her very well...abeg no vex,na Dubai u go?

Explain better
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by zexy2030(m): 2:53pm On Jan 08
SlimyJ:
Currently I'm in tears,my heart is disturbed...
I'm a single mother of one boy (4years old),my first relationship cracked based on family issues mainly the guy's mom,she claimed she can't allow me to marry his son cause I'm TOO EXPENSIVE,she married another girl for him,my baby was just 9months old then,after lot of patching up, everyday beating, cheating and violence,we decided to quit the marriage. He didn't bother to take care of the child at all,things became difficult for me but my mom has been there all through,I went back to learn hair making,beads making and cake making which I did my freedom and had my certificate,God has been so faithful to me and I'm flourishing,then I met a guy earlier last year...
He is a graduate,he is loving and looks calm,he do carry me along in everything he does,he even loved my son and he do pay partly out all his bills, he is free with my family and friends,behold I thought I found love.....
July last year,I had to travel out of the country for a business trip,the trip should have lasted for 6months,but unfortunately I spent only a month there cause of some reasons,I had to call this guy that I will be coming home earlier than we planned,our plans was that after I'm back we will get married,I was shocked when he told me on phone that he did a mistake when I left for just a month and put another woman in a family way,I was very hurt,I wept and shouted,we were not on speaking terms when I entered the country,but he pleaded together with his friends and he suggested that the lady will abort the pregnancy,I told him I don't buy that idea that he should just let me be and he should face the girl,few days later he came back begging that the girl already aborted the pregnancy that can I see now that God wanted us to marry, he even told me to get pregnant and I replied I can't make another mistake until he walks me down the aisle,after a long talk in days we resolved the issue and we were back together,he even do pampered me than before. Lately I discovered that any little issues always result to arguments,I suddenly don't no how to do anything good anymore,he is one day cold and the second day harsh. At mid November,I decided to call him to attention that why is he just like that,and he said he is not happy cause he is broke,we started praying together for better days, he do call me close to 6 times in a day but suddenly changed to twice a day and later he switched to calling once in two days, though we do chat.
To cut my long story short,on the 30th of December,he just called me that he will be going to his town for the new year festival,I was like when have you been planning that and he said not long,on the cross over night he called to pray for me at exactly 12:02am and we were both happy,then he stopped calling for two days. On Saturday 4th of January,he called very early to greet me,then I discovered he had cattarh ,I told him to go to the clinic and treat himself he said he doesn't have any money on him,I sent him some cash to treat himself,he chatted me frequently ,he even called me more than 10 times that day,I wasn't even suspicious and we've been cool since then..
Last night he called me that he is back and will like to take me for breakfast this morning and get me some things from the store. We were at the pounded yam kitchen when some messages entered my WhatsApp inbox ,I managed to open with my left hand,to my greatest surprised they were images of this guy's introduction on that very Saturday with that same girl he told me had aborted the pregnancy,I was so shocked,I lost my appetite immediately and I bursted out into tears,he wasn't even remorseful,all he only said was that ....I've heard and I've heard be that....
I've been weeping since then, mummies in the house,are men really this wicked??
Should I now say women are wicked too, a single mom I dated and took good care of her, just travelled for 3months, coming back, I didn't inform her, about 10.30pm caught her red handed making out with a guy. She sent the daughter to her sister's place to stay since I travelled. I was so disappointed with I saw. Before I travelled she promised she can bear my absence for 6months without sex(sure we were having regular sex when we were together) so I make calls regularly and often times.
Since July this happened last year, I had to tell her family members in November because I wiated for her to apologize, she claimed she was robbed in her office. So she lost my contact.
I can't deal. Even then we are planning traditional wedding already. I can't date a single mother again.
Now tell me..if I see a single mum, do you think I will do same again or can I ever love a single mother again.
Pls judge.

15 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by narit: 3:14pm On Jan 08
I pray your story will never befall on my family or anyone I know. I am sorry, but life goes on.

1 Like

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by fcdgrand(m): 3:19pm On Jan 08
he made his choice and that is not wickedness, maybe he does not like single mother's things
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by zed7: 3:20pm On Jan 08
These things happen and will always happen. Bad people are everywhere. Some women abscond after spending millions on them, either through education, setting up a business or helping them start a career.

Life happens to everyone in different forms. Dust yourself up and try again.

5 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by SlimyJ: 3:31pm On Jan 08
fcdgrand:
he made his choice and that is not wickedness, maybe he does not like single mother's things

I don't think single motherhood is the issue here cause he went ahead to another single mom..
He is just naturally wicked
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by chigoizie7(m): 3:33pm On Jan 08
All I can say is this. Let us all pray that we end up with the right person.


Because if you ask all of us here to tell you our heartbreak stories, you will know that each and everyone of us has passed through a lot in the hands of opposite sex. But we will not call them evil. And we will not give up on loving people.

7 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Edyice: 3:40pm On Jan 08
SlimyJ:


Explain better


It's not an easy one for baby mamas looking for love ...
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by praz001(m): 3:49pm On Jan 08
O ga ooo!

Sorry......

Wonder why human lead others on when they have already quit....


What must happen must surely happen..

We are all in the world to play out a written script
Let play it rightly....

SaintsSamurai:
Sorry my dear but you have been a side chick to him without you knowing.

The lady he got pregnant is his main chick and that was why he did her introduction.

His friends, the same friend that came to beg you to forgive him when he got the main chick pregnant, is the same friend that sent you his introduction photos because he don't want you to continue wasting your time.

I am going to be very honest with you.
My dear count your losses and move on with your Life, focus on yourself and your son for now.

I think Ladies should start uploading pictures of any guy they want to start a relationship with, on social media. Be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, 2go, nairaland, etc

So that any Lady that is in relationship with the men will come outside and claim him or any body that knows about him can start telling you about him.

This way, cheating will reduce, heartbreak will be no more and any man that is not claimed on social media for one month is indeed your man.

Saint samurai has spoken, court rise!!!!!!

As much as I support this as well, it won't stop some from their animalistic attitude.....

1 Like

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Homeboiy: 3:52pm On Jan 08
Did he tell you that your relationship with him will lead to marriage?
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by nellyelitz(m): 4:01pm On Jan 08
Mehn humans are terrible, no conscience at all... I just hope there're no more to this.
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by SlimyJ: 4:02pm On Jan 08
Homeboiy:
Did he tell you that your relationship with him will lead to marriage?
yes we were already planning for our traditional marriage,he already came to my parents..
Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Coded2: 4:11pm On Jan 08
Hmmm I'm so sorry for the Bleep up of the guy but not all men are the same the Yoruba will say enitolori koni fila those who have head didn't have the cap while those who have the cap doesnt have the head such is life irony.

1 Like

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Homeboiy: 4:18pm On Jan 08
SlimyJ:

yes we were already planning for our traditional marriage,he already came to my parents..

Ah he no try abeg

Take heart is all I can say

2 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by Karemarealty288: 4:25pm On Jan 08
SlimyJ:
Currently I'm in tears,my heart is disturbed...
I'm a single mother of one boy (4years old),my first relationship cracked based on family issues mainly the guy's mom,she claimed she can't allow me to marry his son cause I'm TOO EXPENSIVE,she married another girl for him,my baby was just 9months old then,after lot of patching up, everyday beating, cheating and violence,we decided to quit the marriage. He didn't bother to take care of the child at all,things became difficult for me but my mom has been there all through,I went back to learn hair making,beads making and cake making which I did my freedom and had my certificate,God has been so faithful to me and I'm flourishing,then I met a guy earlier last year...
He is a graduate,he is loving and looks calm,he do carry me along in everything he does,he even loved my son and he do pay partly out all his bills, he is free with my family and friends,behold I thought I found love.....
July last year,I had to travel out of the country for a business trip,the trip should have lasted for 6months,but unfortunately I spent only a month there cause of some reasons,I had to call this guy that I will be coming home earlier than we planned,our plans was that after I'm back we will get married,I was shocked when he told me on phone that he did a mistake when I left for just a month and put another woman in a family way,I was very hurt,I wept and shouted,we were not on speaking terms when I entered the country,but he pleaded together with his friends and he suggested that the lady will abort the pregnancy,I told him I don't buy that idea that he should just let me be and he should face the girl,few days later he came back begging that the girl already aborted the pregnancy that can I see now that God wanted us to marry, he even told me to get pregnant and I replied I can't make another mistake until he walks me down the aisle,after a long talk in days we resolved the issue and we were back together,he even do pampered me than before. Lately I discovered that any little issues always result to arguments,I suddenly don't no how to do anything good anymore,he is one day cold and the second day harsh. At mid November,I decided to call him to attention that why is he just like that,and he said he is not happy cause he is broke,we started praying together for better days, he do call me close to 6 times in a day but suddenly changed to twice a day and later he switched to calling once in two days, though we do chat.
To cut my long story short,on the 30th of December,he just called me that he will be going to his town for the new year festival,I was like when have you been planning that and he said not long,on the cross over night he called to pray for me at exactly 12:02am and we were both happy,then he stopped calling for two days. On Saturday 4th of January,he called very early to greet me,then I discovered he had cattarh ,I told him to go to the clinic and treat himself he said he doesn't have any money on him,I sent him some cash to treat himself,he chatted me frequently ,he even called me more than 10 times that day,I wasn't even suspicious and we've been cool since then..
Last night he called me that he is back and will like to take me for breakfast this morning and get me some things from the store. We were at the pounded yam kitchen when some messages entered my WhatsApp inbox ,I managed to open with my left hand,to my greatest surprised they were images of this guy's introduction on that very Saturday with that same girl he told me had aborted the pregnancy,I was so shocked,I lost my appetite immediately and I bursted out into tears,he wasn't even remorseful,all he only said was that ....I've heard and I've heard be that....
I've been weeping since then, mummies in the house,are men really this wicked??


Sis ....I feel for u...All I have to tell u is that it hurts but the will of God in your life is better and safer. I as a man had issues with my marriage 8yrs ago. My sin was that I was broke then and i had a wife whose Mother isn't wise. Well. She crashed the marriage and promised to get a multi millionaire for her daughter.( while she is not a rich person Ooo). To God be the glory ..just two months after the crash.. I got a contract in an Estate in Lokogoma Abuja which I executed well and made my first 15mil..since then the grace of God has never departed from me. Am married with two kids. And my wife isn't a Nigerian and I have a reputable Real Estate Company and farms in Sagamu and Ijebu. My ex lives with her mother with my daughter.... And am really taking care of my child. She told me that she made an unredeemable mistake and her mother is today her worst enemy.. .... Please be at peace with yourself.. God's time for u is the best..,Just give God the chance to show that he is your God. God bless u. www.karemarealty.com

14 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by hmlsolo(m): 4:43pm On Jan 08
Tragic but women does so too.
So sorry for your loss though![i][/i]

3 Likes

Re: How I Learnt My Lessons In Hard Way,men Are Generally Wicked.. by doggedfighter(f): 4:50pm On Jan 08
Betrayal of trust isn't being smart

1 Like

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