favoryte33:
He told u earlier on dat u guys aren't COMPARTIBLE. This is a trait of selfishness. I don't go about looking for compartibility coz true luv should embrasse our differences as long as we're ready 2 give up our ego. pls,do not go beg him.he doesn't deserve u

Jewessgratitude:


Somebody help me warn this man o.
I'll break his head o

You accused me of being everywhere. How did you know if you too are not everywhere?

Just leave me or are you my father? Hian!

MrCork:



..my God...YOU AGAIN!!!
..U on every single threads gadddddemmmit thread innnit. Dont u sleep?
Who give u the right & autority to advise anyone...are u lightskin?...were is yor qualifications to advise??

MrCork:



hello pussssy..i love yor name & u definitely wifey material..unlike that adviser ring call jewessgratitude. Anyways.. pussssssssy how r u?

Jewessgratitude:


Thank God I'm free!
Oya face her, let me be.

MrCork:



Octopussy is lightskin..U ain't...dont be jelos
..SHOW RESPET!!

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Jewessgratitude:


Ogar, carry go! No biggies.

MrCork:



hello pussssy..i love yor name & u definitely wifey material..unlike that adviser ring call jewessgratitude. Anyways.. pussssssssy how r u?

Octopusssy:

Am fine Cork. Pussssy and Cork. We are a match made in heaven.

How much?

MrCork:



darling please be care fuk. Stay away from Jewessgratitude...she jelos of u coz I choose u over her. She need help

daben1:
The way you girls think self ehn, once you're in a relationship with an average Nigerian girl, it has automatically become your responsibility to be doing the calling while her own responsibility is to be at the receiving end... "He stopped calling as he used to"
Relationship should be a 50-50 stuff.
The relationship failed because of lack of communication: because your responsibility is to wait while he calls while you receive

wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

AfroKnight:
He did the right thing for the both of you.

A reticent partner is a whole package of frustration especially to someone who wants to be sure they are communicating well in a relationship.

The truth is you made communication a burden for him. I can imagine your chat threads on WhatsApp. He was not sure what you were thinking while you guys were in the relationship. He was walking in the dark and constantly at risk of assuming wrongly.

You don’t even communicate to yourself. I mean, look how long it took you to realise that the break up was final and that you pushed him away. 1 week! That guy tried.

You need someone who is cool with little communication. You should also learn to discuss and be on the same page with your partner instead of hiding under the excuse of introversion.

thorpido:
You are incompatible like he said.It is no fault of yours,it is just who you are.You're an introvert while he's an extrovert.

Don't ever make the mistake of dating an extrovert again.It will wear you out.You'll forever be dealing with trying to catch up while he's seeing you as inadequate.

Octopusssy:

Ok darling. She didn't tell you how much?

Jewessgratitude ain't my type..she too local ..way too bush & she acts like a nigerian!

R3B3L:

Firstly- Don't blame yourself.. distance didn't play a part in this break down in communication.

Next - more importantly is the fact that there has to be comprehension. It's a man's job to understand his woman. Most relationships succeed with men who do anyways..

Do not feel the need to switch up or down ur innate trait cos someone felt u "didn't care". There are more people whose turn ons are introverts. Get over this dude, he's not ur type. U would have struggled well in this relationship if u tried to go beyond ur abilities.

geraldinai:

I never hid under the excuse of introversion moreover when we were still cool, communication was smooth, spoke on phone, chats and gists daily.
I realized my inadequacies and learnt from the relationship.

Faysuze:
Mine is even worse, he told me he cannot prioritize a relationship right now and does not feel the need to talk every day. But he wants girlfriend benefits and always complaining about I how I don't communicate with him. How does that work? I just walked away, too trashy to deal with.

AfroKnight:


Dating someone who doesn’t feel the need to communicate often is a draining exercise. That is what the OP’s ex was going through. Maybe introverts should date themselves. Perhaps things would be easier that way.

Faysuze:
Since he didn't want to talk everyday, i didn't know when to call him and when not to. I just stopped initiating. We went from talking everyday to once a week. It wasn't working for me so i left. Some people are just hard to deal with.