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Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Honesty Was My Intention But Did My Honestly Push Him Away? / I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back / Unhappy Bride Refuses To Kiss Her Groom At The Altar, Pushes Him Away. Photos (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Stillthebest: 1:58pm On Jan 09, 2020
kiss

You are lackadaisical and carefree. Your type will watch your child being bitten by mosquitoes leaving scars on him or her badly and still don't care. Plus so many other characteristics of ppl who portray such attitudes.

How would u feel when(if) he falls sick? Would you care or not when as issue as thick as ' I'm done' with yu can't move you? It means you dont care about him. He might as well think you have another man. But hey no I have met your types before. This is how you are wired.


I am afriad this will affect you except you equally meet same man and that will be catastrophic

And yea who doesn't want to be recognised in a relationship? You drove him away!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Khalidase83(m): 1:58pm On Jan 09, 2020
Relationship is not by force.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by taneez(f): 2:02pm On Jan 09, 2020
geraldinai:

I think I agree with you. Thanks for your contribution.

You can date an extrovert. Not an extreme one though. You also date an "introvert-extrovert.
But seriously the guy wasn't meant for you extrovert or not

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Saintly01(m): 2:05pm On Jan 09, 2020
AfroKnight:
He did the right thing for the both of you.

A reticent partner is a whole package of frustration especially to someone who wants to be sure they are communicating well in a relationship.

The truth is you made communication a burden for him. I can imagine your chat threads on WhatsApp. He was not sure what you were thinking while you guys were in the relationship. He was walking in the dark and constantly at risk of assuming wrongly.

You don’t even communicate to yourself. I mean, look how long it took you to realise that the break up was final and that you pushed him away. 1 week! That guy tried.

You need someone who is cool with little communication. You should also learn to discuss and be on the same page with your partner instead of hiding under the excuse of introversion.
Your submission is so on point.

3 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by lilybonny(f): 2:09pm On Jan 09, 2020
hushdaddy:
He probably must have met someone on the same social level with him.
More like it o
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by urchcoded(m): 3:20pm On Jan 09, 2020
AfroKnight:
He did the right thing for the both of you.

A reticent partner is a whole package of frustration especially to someone who wants to be sure they are communicating well in a relationship.

The truth is you made communication a burden for him. I can imagine your chat threads on WhatsApp. He was not sure what you were thinking while you guys were in the relationship. He was walking in the dark and constantly at risk of assuming wrongly.

You don’t even communicate to yourself. I mean, look how long it took you to realise that the break up was final and that you pushed him away. 1 week! That guy tried.

You need someone who is cool with little communication. You should also learn to discuss and be on the same page with your partner instead of hiding under the excuse of introversion.

Except dat introversion is no excuse and cannot be fixed by extroversion. Introverts are introverts. She needs some guy dats either an introvert or an extrovert dat is really funny or fun to be with both online and offline.
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by AfroKnight: 3:23pm On Jan 09, 2020
urchcoded:


Except dat introversion is no excuse and cannot be fixed by extroversion. Introverts are introverts. She needs some guy dats either an introvert or an extrovert dat is really funny or fun to be with both online and offline.

One’s nature is not an excuse. That is established, I think.

However, anyone can use her nature as an excuse for unwholesome behaviour.

1 Like

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Bimpe29: 3:39pm On Jan 09, 2020
Yes, you did.
And, it may interest you to know and appreciate the fact that, that attitude of yours is not only childish but too ineffective for the sustainability of a serious relationship.
The guy handled it well.

6 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by thorpido(m): 3:48pm On Jan 09, 2020
taneez:


You can date an extrovert. Not an extreme one though. You also date an "introvert-extrovert.
But seriously the guy wasn't meant for you extrovert or not
Only extroverts who understand her nature and is willing to work with her.
Not an extrovert who thinks she should be like him or some other girl out there.

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by foleskay(m): 4:20pm On Jan 09, 2020
Well you being an introvert isnt enough excuse to break up with you. Many guys desires ladies that are calm and introvert cos its saves lots of nagging from the lady's part. I think the guy is a gigolo, he never loved you in the frst place. Infact for him inviting you to his place informing face to face hes done with you speaks alot about his fake love for you. Move on and learn your lesson in case of subsequent relationship.

1 Like

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by SmellingAnus(m): 4:50pm On Jan 09, 2020
Faysuze:
Mine is even worse, he told me he cannot prioritize a relationship right now and does not feel the need to talk every day. But he wants girlfriend benefits and always complaining about I how I don't communicate with him. How does that work? I just walked away, too trashy to deal with.
1... It's either he has so many things to attend to that he doesn't like the idea of constant daily communication or

2. He is not into you... I mean he doesn't really love you... Let me share my personal experience... I had someone I am not into but I liked the fact that she loved me so I respected her and treated her nicely but I disliked daily communication with her... We may see twice at most in a month and we lived in the same city... Lol...

On the other hand... I had a sweet loving babe that I loved and she loved me too... She calls me many times daily... She tells me about the important and unimportant things that happened to her and I will just be happy to listen to her and contribute... I remember one day after listening to her for over an hour I was tired and she noticed it... She was displeased and she told me to learn to listen to her... This is someone I listened to for over an hour ... Lol... Needless to say that most of our free times we spent them together... Just pray to have a good person that you love that also loves you very well...

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Keemsleek005(m): 5:48pm On Jan 09, 2020
favoryte33:
He told u earlier on dat u guys aren't COMPARTIBLE. This is a trait of selfishness.i don't go about looking for compartibility coz true luv should embrasse our differences as long as we're ready 2 give up our ego.pls,do not go beg him.he doesn't deserve u


Hummmm I don't know what to say to you but you deserve a bottle of wine. Matured straight forward advice, she should understand that there are men who will die to have her type, she should relax the man will surely come. I laugh at some guy the throw away good things in form of stupid use of terminologies, someone who truly loves you will love you for who you are everything about you will make sense to him.

4 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by victorian(f): 5:55pm On Jan 09, 2020
geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?







Nothing is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with him too

Both of you are incompatible. Date and introvert next time


You will thank me for this advice later.

4 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by ikennamadu1(m): 6:14pm On Jan 09, 2020
Jewessgratitude:
See...don't even start killing yourself over this matter cos the guy is not a responsible fellow which you know but tried to swallow.
Don't ever overlook or condone someone excesses. How can you, knowing full well that he flirts with girls at will, still want to keep him? Men don finish? Dump his retard ass. But he, could not condone your quiet and calm behavior, not that you flirt like him but he still called it off. He never really loved you dear. And doesn't have respect for you.

Dont just blame yourself for anything.
Move on and stay focused.
Nothing do you.
Naa people like you dem dey beat for relationship... Your brain dey your elb0w

3 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by OB7Foreva(m): 6:15pm On Jan 09, 2020
No one cares
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by bodaola(m): 6:15pm On Jan 09, 2020
.

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by bmdmixer: 6:16pm On Jan 09, 2020
geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

do well with d new one, simple.

1 Like

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 6:16pm On Jan 09, 2020
Sorry but distance relationship is really a problem on its own
geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Ovawise2020: 6:18pm On Jan 09, 2020
geraldinai:


I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me,
.. No matter the advice or comments anyone would give to u here on this issue.. Did u see those words I bolded from your write-up matters a lot...

But in every relationship, I always say one thing, what would be would definitely be, u meet people to learn one or two things from each other ...

Anyway Life goes on, Cool ur mind down with a cup undecided undecided

3 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by BEANSndPLANTAIN(m): 6:20pm On Jan 09, 2020
Leaving you is now a thing abi.... Just ignore the dude and get everything that might be yours
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by frozen70(f): 6:20pm On Jan 09, 2020
geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?


Let's not talk much about the relationship

Let's concentrate on you

You have identified and accept some areas he pointed at

Work on yourself and those areas
Leave your comfort zone and learn to socialise
Be smart and talk intelligently, men loves women who give them brain challenge

Be open and bold, speak out rather than keeping quiet, you can't impress a man by being too quiet, men are active by nature and appreciate being with active women

When next you have a boyfriend, make some sacrifice to the relationship, keep him busy with fun chats and he can't stay a whole day without looking for a chat from you

4 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by davidadenrele: 6:21pm On Jan 09, 2020
Hello,

Respect to the various opinion and advice however you don't have to blame yourself whats gonna be.....gonna be!!! aside the fact you saw the handwriting on the wall but because you need to define your priorities which is your studies let him go if he's yours he will come back if he's not yours there are 1 million and one guys who would go on their knees to have you in their arms.

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Irore: 6:21pm On Jan 09, 2020
geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?


Advise no.
1.Follow and stay with who loves you and not the one you love.
2.Don't make sex the object of your relationship. Men are easily fed up. Only the marriage covenant instituted by God almighty helps men to stay even at that it is not easy. He has sexed you enough. Go back to that guy whom you have being snubbing.

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Omotexc: 6:21pm On Jan 09, 2020
Pls, try to practice what you preach
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by infogenius(m): 6:22pm On Jan 09, 2020
Op
Biko move on and don't sulk over the ended relationship.
U're been u and will not change ur person rather u can only improve.
The guy has found someone else and the truth is that u're not his type of girl. He is simply the wrong guy for u
A guy that is suited for ur person will come.

Be cool, be happy and always be urself.
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by sheriffindy(m): 6:24pm On Jan 09, 2020
wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.


You don't mean it?.. And some folks were busy reading that
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Jan 09, 2020
SmellingAnus:
1... It's either he has so many things to attend to that he doesn't like the idea of constant daily communication or

2. He is not into you... I mean he doesn't really love you... Let me share my personal experience... I had someone I am not into but I liked the fact that she loved me so I respected her and treated her nicely but I disliked daily communication with her... We may see twice at most in a month and we lived in the same city... Lol...

On the other hand... I had a sweet loving babe that I loved and she loved me too... She calls me many times daily... She tells me about the important and unimportant things that happened to her and I will just be happy to listen to her and contribute... I remember one day after listening to her for over an hour I was tired and she noticed it... She was displeased and she told me to learn to listen to her... This is someone I listened to for over an hour ... Lol... Needless to say that most of our free times we spent them together... Just pray to have a good person that you love that also loves you very well...

We used to communicate daily. But he all of a sudden didn't like talking everyday. I just pulled back and stopped communicating too. He will then start bugging me saying I don't talk to him. He just wanted to keep things in the grey area and I was not having it.

Well it doesn't matter anymore, I shipped myself out. Now I have peace.

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by lozanni(m): 6:24pm On Jan 09, 2020
daben1:
The way you girls think self ehn, once you're in a relationship with an average Nigerian girl, it has automatically become your responsibility to be doing the calling while her own responsibility is to be at the receiving end... "He stopped calling as he used to"
Relationship should be a 50-50 stuff.
The relationship failed because of lack of communication: because your responsibility is to wait while he calls while you receive

You are so on point.
Girls always expect you to call to check up on them, without realizing that guys too need such attention from time to time.
A friend complained to me that when he was courting his wife, he will buy credit for her, but instead of calling him, she only flashes him, even when he had just bought her phone credit .
SMH for some ladies.

3 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by DanDeeBoss(m): 6:26pm On Jan 09, 2020
Omar09:


First off, there's no such thing as true love. If there was, there won't be break up and divorces. Secondly, if you don't seek COMPATIBILITY, you will continue to be in a wrong relationship.
Rightly said.... True love doesn't exist in a relationship

2 Likes

Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by Nobody: 6:26pm On Jan 09, 2020
wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

that's why it's advisable to have an alternative account.
Re: Did I Push Him Away With My Attitude? by dinodesmond(m): 6:26pm On Jan 09, 2020
Octopusssy:

Don't you know that many people don't practice what they preach?

Yes we hardly listen to what we preach. It's inherent I think except we hack ourselves and do some rewiring.

In this her story, we can conclude that she was lying to herself, telling herself she loves the guy but deep down she was not in love.

She could identify ways ladies can take to make their guys happy but she perhaps couldn't do some of these to her guy.

She wouldn't do these because she didn't want to be invested in that relationship so she felt okay to say 'fine' when her guy sensed true incompatibility between them and broke up with her.

She was never in love. I'm happy for the guy if what she wrote here is true.

9 Likes

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