StandUpGuy247:
You and my new girlfriend are alike. Which is the rason I'm planning to break up with her.

If you're not willing to work on yourself, don't expect your partner to wait for you while he/she has the option to be happier with someone else.

This is just ME

Faysuze:
Since he didn't want to talk everyday, i didn't know when to call him and when not to. I just stopped initiating. We went from talking everyday to once a week. It wasn't working for me so i left. Some people are just hard to deal with.

An average Nigerian guy is under a lot of pressure to "make it" especially from 27 years.

If things are not working out, he might take it on d gf. He might see her as a hindrance... because his brain is beginning to work more than his heart. I guarantee u, he likes u n still miss u, but he Just needs to spend his mental energy on something else.

I don't believe he didn't like u but d country really puts guys especially under a lot of pressure.

This might not be a representation of your ex, but I am pretty sure it it

DieuDonee:
You're the exact female version of me.
You sis nothing wrong. You shouldn't change yourself for someone that's not willing to change for you.
Move on, you'll find someone else.

Continue dey give her wrong advice o.

Someone should change for her and she should never change for that person?

She never see person wey she go love wholeheartedly without stress.

make a post like this next time. Make the girl break up with him for just same reason and see if people will not call her olosho that found a guy with money

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

You're a very selfish and terrible person.... you lost a very good man.

Some of you lack emotional communication skills and yet blame it on being an introvert.... do you know what an introvert means .... introverts are always happy and free to express themselves when they're around people they love. .infact they could be the most craziest people at that moment!!!

you lack self-esteem and you should work on yourself!!!

favoryte33:
He told u earlier on dat u guys aren't COMPARTIBLE. This is a trait of selfishness.i don't go about looking for compartibility coz true luv should embrasse our differences as long as we're ready 2 give up our ego.pls,do not go beg him.he doesn't deserve u

Sometimes u pple think relationship is all about the emotional nonsense u call love but what u fail to understand is that no genuine relationship is built on just love. Can two walk together except they agree? Everything about relationship is compatibility. I don't like extrovert girls nd de guy in question doesn't flow well with introverts so u can't pin de blame on him. God wired him that way.

Many have said my mind on this. To answer your question, however, I honestly feel you pushed him away. There was one like you who resorted to saying I ought to have given her more time... When I studied her deeply, I was irritated by this narcissistic streak of hers in the name of introvert (I am an introvert too) and walked away in just 3 months. Yes, I wasn't prepared to waste two years or more before quitting as I knew it was an attitudinal flaw.

Guys like us we love attention oh. We also love a girl who's amenable to our manipulative tactics. The type we could hurt in the worst possible way this minute and still guilt trip them into getting down on their knees to apologise the next. If she's lucky we might just let the Johnson out the fly and have her choke on it. Her salty tears pouring down to meet her saliva. It be dripping till our oats pops. With the relationship dynamics restored, only then is all truly forgiven...

My point is; No guy wants a girl he just can't get through to. You're way too in control of your emotions and that's the problem.

TwoBottles:

na wah oo, with all that knowledge she is dishing out she couldn't even keep her own man.

stubbornman:


Shut the fvck and let others who has sensible things to say step forward....

The Op is selfish or did you not read the part where she said there was no trace of unfaithfulness in the guy even though he has many female friends, he is not gay so off course he should have female friends.... my problem you girls in this part of the world is that y'all are very very terrible at keeping up when it comes to relationship.... You wait for a man to call you, buy you gifts ,love you or even breathe for you while y'all just sit down like flower pots doing nothing...

That guy has a very very great courtesy and respect for inviting her over and explaining things to her rather than breaking up with her on the phone as I would have done even 6 months into the relationship.... You girls need to up your game in not just dating but every other relationships...your level of self entitlement and nonchalant attitude stinks to the Heavens!

Forget that no trace of unfaithfulness part. You will be shocked how some guys can cover their cheating tracks and lie until caught red handed.

He is ready to switch to the side chick, let him be.

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

I'm available and open for business

TheEnygma:
I know this might sound insensitive but if You know that You didn't bother to read the whole epistle , simply indicate by raising your hand.

Thank God u know u r insensitive... Grow up

Ask OBJ or better still IBB?

Alwaysachick:



Forget that no trace of unfaithfulness part. You will be shocked how some guys can cover their cheating tracks and lie until caught red handed.

He is ready to switch to the side chick, let him be.

See ehn it shit happens but what's more important is respect and loyalty in a relationship... we all have cheated while in a relationship ,we didn't get caught doesn't mean we are badass .... ability to respect your partner and keep your track clean that's also the greater part of love.... The girl just has Ego, the "I don't wanna give him all the attention" kinda..... Seriously I'm the kinda guy if I call you 3 times and you don't return my calls ,that's the end of Solomon grandy

Jewessgratitude:
See...don't even start killing yourself over this matter cos the guy is not a responsible fellow which you know but tried to swallow.
Don't ever overlook or condone someone excesses. How can you, knowing full well that he flirts with girls at will, still want to keep him? Men don finish? Dump his retard ass. But he, could not condone your quiet and calm behavior, not that you flirt like him but he still called it off. He never really loved you dear. And doesn't have respect for you.

Dont just blame yourself for anything.
Move on and stay focused.
Nothing do you.

You type too much nonsense, are you from Egypt?

hmmm

Ndi love, umunwanyi na love bu Kwa 5&6

Love gba kwa oku

It's not your fault. You both were just not compatible. It's not your fault that you are that way it's in you can't change it. If he really was your man he should have understood. But don't worry you'll find the right guy for you, who'll even love you for being that way.

foleskay:
Well you being an introvert isnt enough excuse to break up with you. Many guys desires ladies that are calm and introvert cos its saves lots of nagging from the lady's part. I think the guy is a gigolo, he never loved you in the frst place. Infact for him inviting you to his place informing face to face hes done with you speaks alot about his fake love for you. Move on and learn your lesson in case of subsequent relationship.

Omo ehn Which kind guys we get for this Nairaland sef !!!

stubbornman:


You're a very selfish and terrible person.... you lost a very good man.

Some of you lack emotional communication skills and yet blame it on being an introvert.... do you know what an introvert means .... introverts are always happy and free to express themselves when they're around people they love. .infact they could be the most craziest people at that moment!!!

you lack self-esteem and you should work on yourself!!!

You got the drill bro, they'll blame their selfishness on being introvertic.

stubbornman:


See ehn it shit happens but what's more important is respect and loyalty in a relationship... we all have cheated while in a relationship ,we didn't get caught doesn't mean we are badass .... ability to respect your partner and keep your track clean that's also the greater part of love.... The girl just has Ego, the "I don't wanna give him all the attention" kinda..... Seriously I'm the kinda guy if I call you 3 times and you don't return my calls ,that's the end of Solomon grandy

You didn't read through properly. The only problem I saw on her part was a failed relationship she was afraid to admit. We girls are always guilty of such, we see all the signs but keep hoping things will change because we love. Meanwhile on the guys part, Solomon grandy has already been buried

Comment for the first time in a long while.

Poster is seeming my kind of person. I'm less emotional, private, calculative, less expressive and value my space and me-time.

It has been my undoing in my relationships making me come off as uncaring, bland and uninteresting.

Difference is, I wasn't always like this, a big heartbreak changed the course of my emotional life for bad. I truly wish to return to who I was before, the cheerful, jolly, expressive, caring and extroverted me, but alas, the more I try, the more I break.

I understand the poster, and I have no solutions either.

I'd appreciate any help.

wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

Monitoring spirit

Offpoint:

You got the drill bro, they'll blame their selfishness on being introvertic.

The thing dey vex me and people wey lack sense dey tell her to date her fellow introvert....how that kind relationship wan be sef, house go dull scara, No trip, no crazy moments no spice...omo forget it, it's gonna be one boring union!!

the arrangement nah Always Extrovert -introvert or extrovert-extrovert nah very rare cases you go see introvert -introvert.....

Distance played its part though... but he's too fast for you. It's a fact, we all can't be on the speed lane.

You sound like my wife... I was just patient enough.

So you didn't push him away.

TheEnygma:
I know this might sound insensitive but if You know that You didn't bother to read the whole epistle , simply indicate by raising your hand.

I read it, and i implore you to calm down and read it too. It will do you good.

wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

haha! Monitoring spirit you are a liar, you will not succeed upon my life. die by fire. Die,die,die,die

Don't feel guilty about a thing. Relationship is not one sided so if he really loved you he'd have help change you for the better or better still love you for you

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Baby nothing is wrong with you , you are very fine , so many guys are out there looking for your type....


Distance and mostly your BF's social attitude with various girls which gave him many options which he feels her a more better option than u, and he picked one even before he told u that u people were not a match... Don't ever try it again, that u are fine with your BF socialising with female , why not male ??, ThereTis boundaries in every thing, u allowd him go beyond his boundry and he failed and betrayed your trust... So it was after 2years that he realised that you were not match ?...




Please be strong, move on and forget about him...I cannot write off completely his coming back to beg u if he truly loves u deeply , because he may find something he also doesn't like about the new one too... Just move ahead , many guys want your type... don't pretend, don't change because u want to please a ccnfused man, U CANNOT PLEASE A MAN, be yourself , nobody can love you more than you love yourself ...look forward to a guy that loves u for who u are...forget the two years relationship please , it's not how far , but how well... There are many women today crying in marriage on daily basis, because, he will says he wants them to be A, when she changes to A, he will complain, and he will say he want her to belike B, when she changes to B, he also complains...human are generally insatiable...go for a guy who love u for who u are... Sis. pls , let him go forever, God has just saved u from a long time suffering and weeping in marriage... There are guys out there looking for your type, tell God to bring them to you, he is not yours...let him go...you are fine ,you are the best to many ... Don't allow one unstable and indecisive guy to bring you down with his stupid selfish reason...move on..YOU ARE VERY FINE... Notin do u nor...Na him fault...your trust was betrayed.

Alwaysachick:


You didn't read through properly. The only problem I saw on her part was a failed relationship she was afraid to admit. We girls are always guilty of such, we see all the signs but keep hoping things will change because we love. Meanwhile on the guys part, Solomon grandy has already been buried

I get your point but most ladies think the world will wait for them to love and get over it... Most relationship trust it's men doing 70% of the workout..... Ladies just sit there and wonder why he no longer calls often or takes her to the movies anymore etc.... When it gets boring for a guy it shows!!!

only 10% of guys will call a lady for a meeting and explain the reason for there break-up....the guy respects her..... that kinda guy is rare (we are just 5 in the world with one getting married this Saturday, I was hoping you would choose me before I get taken)

djoe21:


It's so unfortunate that just November last year you were giving ladies tips on how to make their men happy. Did you not follow the tips?

Chai !! Na wa o... Social media never fogets. People no get chill at all

dinodesmond:

Someone should change for her and she should never change for that person?

What I said was that she should not change for someone who's not willing to change for her

I can date u if u have ur own money.

I can even marry u