The Side Chic

For those who have not seen the video, an older woman is seen accosting a younger woman, very likely at the Ikeja Mall. From the words of the older woman, who happens to be the only speaking, one can tell that the younger woman is the side chic to the older woman’s husband. The younger woman is visibly embarrassed and her silence is actually not golden but a betrayal of her culpability.

When she would not respond and attempts to leave, the older woman assaults her. Pulls her wig and drops it on the floor. The younger woman attempts to leave; people are seen cautioning the older woman; the younger woman, seeing she has become the but of instant videos for Vloggers, flees the scene. The older woman is hot on heels.

While the video made the rounds on social media, it was the comment by a man on Twitter that brought my attention to it all. He had said if his wife were ever to try that nonsense with his own side chic, the side chic would be upgraded to the status of a wife. Incidentally, on my timeline, there were both comments for and against his position. I am neutral. This article, however, is just some random thoughts on side chicing.

Well, Abu has seen quite a lot at this gate called Facebook. I believe I learnt the term “side chic” here. One lady told me that she’s a side chic to a senior officer in the Nigerian civil service. My jaws simply dropped. By the way, the same lady is “happily” married. So those who are breathing fire and brimstone on Men for keeping side chics should know that there are “side guys” too in some instances. But let’s limit our talk to the chics.

It was also on this dial that Abu was told of a guy who had a side chic at the office. The relationship went well until, for some reason, they had to part ways because the man relocated. Some twenty years later, in the middle of gisting with his wife, he discovers that his wife knew of his relationship with the side chic all along and said nothing of it back then. He was shocked. He later summoned courage and asked her why she did nothing then, and the wife said “ where is she now….” In other words, I knew it was a fling. It would pass. It did pass. Mr. Man is nearing sixty now and wholly contented in the last one standing. His wife.

Here is my position.

I think more women lead their husbands to side chicing than any other thing. Take the matter of the Ikeja Mall ladies, clearly the older woman has issues. Even if her husband was guilty, accosting that lady that way would win greater sympathy for the side chic and further alienate her from her spouse. At worst, she should have settled it with her husband in private. Or, perhaps, her nagging is the root of the man finding solace outside.

I agree that men should discipline their libido. But after a man has worked hard, provided for his family; only to return to a woman in the house who is bent on snuffing out his soul, would you blame him if he finds comfort in Delilah's laps?

I am thoroughly convinced that women are the author of the state of their homes. If you want peace, give your husband peace. If a man goes after a side chic, play the game: be a better chic to him at home. Win your man back. Returning tit for tat will not solve the matter. The man will move on and you’ll be left to rue your chances.

For the wise woman, having your man is a win-win situation for you. If your husband is disciplined, be thankful and do not take it for granted. If your husband is not, take it as a challenge. You will laugh last. All the side chics will come and go, and guess who will remain: you.

Sheath the sword, older woman, it is not worth the fight.

© Deji Yesufu.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/1505609702848568/posts/2576069972469197/