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Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! - Family - Nairaland

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Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Timson01(m): 5:33pm On Jan 13
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

27 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Timson01(m): 5:34pm On Jan 13
What do u people suggest

3 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by donstan18(m): 5:35pm On Jan 13
You are pregnant and according to you, you are in pains.

If you want to live long and deliver your baby safely, I'll advise you to stop stalking and monitoring your husband's whereabouts, at least for now.

This is, if only you want to be at rest with your current pregnant state.

491 Likes 15 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Shibaraba(m): 5:37pm On Jan 13
Hmmm

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by daddytime(m): 5:43pm On Jan 13
Ok
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by ShenTeh(m): 5:44pm On Jan 13
Nairalanders are coming to advise.

My own 1 kobo:

Don't kill the innocent child, except your own LIFE is certified threatened by a competent gaenecologist.

2. Your husband has not abandoned you- and that's according to you. All you have said is based on your own insecurities. But hey, that's OK. He may enjoy a couple of flirting outside or find it inspiring that he still appeals to other women, but please don't trade your happiness for mere fears and allegations and ruin the beautiful happiness in your home.

3. Please don't report the young man to anyone. You can talk about your concerns with him and emphasise how you wish you can do more for him barring your current condition. If he watches porn with you, my submission is that he desires you very much. wink from naughty experience
4. Safe delivery for you in Jesus name. Enjoy life. This is the ONE you have.

Ciao.

402 Likes 21 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by morpheus24: 6:24pm On Jan 13
Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

1.Your husband is flirting, confront him and tell him to stop it if he values your 11 year old marriage, sometimes men are silly like that and need to be jolted back into reality to realize what they have in a wife and 3 children.

2. Let your husband know you are having difficulty with sexual activity during pregnancy and try to compromise and adjust with him, this may be the reason he finds reason to be flirting.

3. Children are a blessing, sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the prospect of taking care of another child but it finds a way to work itself out if we stay positive an not over worry about it. The hardest part for children is usually the formative years by 4 to 5 years they are a little more independent and you are back to your normal life.

61 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Bola146(f): 6:37pm On Jan 13
My dear sister, kindly take good care of yourself and the kids first, your life and the kids are more important than any side chicks. Call any of your relatives to come and help you.

37 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by placeofallure(f): 7:21pm On Jan 13
So what if he's flirting with some random lady? Heaven will not fall, will it? Please your health and wellness first. Go to a good hospital and take to every medical advice.
Communicate with him all your challenges so the burden will be less heavy to carry.

When I first got pregnant, I was so weak I couldn't even enter the kitchen or do laundry for about 2/3 months, much more make love. My husband was doing all the laundry and my mum brought food for 2 everyday. My husband was more concerned about me getting well. Let him know your troubles and if he loves you enough, you'll both be fine in no time, it's a passing phase. Pele!

67 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Originalsly: 7:51pm On Jan 13
If both of you were satisfied with 3 kids.... why implantation? Didn't they tell you of other options?... nor didn't you check with Google? Any kind foreign stuff in your body must have side effects. Abortion shouldn't be an option..unless you want to gamble with your life. Consider yourself lucky you are in poor condition and your husband is always around..... most would suddenly have to spend long hourssss at work...or have to travel on work related trips. If you look for dirt you will find...... let your husband be. Nothing good for you can come out of stress. Focus on yourself... and having a smooth delivery.

21 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by funmisticqueen2: 8:58pm On Jan 13
Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member
most likely the birth control messing up her moods and hormones

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Ariza: 9:19pm On Jan 13
Ma at this point focus on your health and your baby. If sex makes your heart beat fast I wonder what constant worry, nagging and probably fight will give you. Don't jeopardize your life because of a man who's only doing what men do best (flirt) . For now erase all you know,act like you know nothing and play along with the peace still existing in your marriage. When you are better (medically) then you can arrange any WWE match you wish with your husband. Be wise.

34 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by KISSMEAGAIN: 9:31pm On Jan 13
morpheus24:


1.Your husband is flirting, confront him and tell him to stop it if he values your 11 year old marriage, sometimes men are silly like that and need to be jolted back into reality to realize what they have in a wife and 3 children.

2. Let your husband know you are having difficulty with sexual activity during pregnancy and try to compromise and adjust with him, this may be the reason he finds reason to be flirting.

3. Children are a blessing, sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the prospect of taking care of another child but it finds a way to work itself out if we stay positive an not over worry about it. The hardest part for children is usually the formative years by 4 to 5 years they are a little more independent and you are back to your normal life.


If only you know what men go through when ever their wives become pregnant and making love to her becomes so scarce because of her pregnancy. It's a great challenge. I never knew the kind of challenge at stake until I got married too.

13 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by iCauseTrouble: 9:39pm On Jan 13
Women just love stressing themselves over irrelevant issues. See what suspicion is causing your life. You must be a very jealous wife shocked

8 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Tomide007: 9:39pm On Jan 13
.
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by MrPresident1: 9:39pm On Jan 13
Another stupid thread
spits

5 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by 24kmagic(m): 9:40pm On Jan 13
kiss
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Cutezt(m): 9:40pm On Jan 13
Ok
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Kendumazy(m): 9:40pm On Jan 13
May God help u na.

Let's handle your buying and shipping from USA. check my signature below for more details.
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 9:41pm On Jan 13
Take it to God in prayer, there's nothing He cannot do

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by cupidFlint(m): 9:41pm On Jan 13
You cant get that advice you seek here
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by Bellgal: 9:41pm On Jan 13
Where is NwaAmaikpe

2 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by sofiscatedmoron: 9:41pm On Jan 13
another day another marriage related problem on nairaland

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by MajorWarren: 9:41pm On Jan 13
I can’t stand people who do shít like this, sorry this is happening to you.

Cast your pride aside and seek your brother-in-laws help, he might be able to get through to your husband.
Try not to involve too many people and maybe speak to him yourself as well.

Lastly, please do not try please him by putting your health in jeopardy. Heal first sis.

2 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by merits(m): 9:43pm On Jan 13
Y
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by livebyday(m): 9:43pm On Jan 13
At this point your hormones, and anxiety won't help especially with the heart palpitations.

Take it easy and have a heart to heart conversation with your hubby

Be respectful, but very open about how his playful chats with that lady Is hurting you don't mince words

Now make suggestions of fun stuff you can do together like board games , PlayStation, etc

It takes two to make a marriage work or crash

Find fun stuff that you all can do as a family , board games is my go to suggestion, if you have photo albums from when your other kids where babies pull that out on a weekend and go through that with the kids and purposely get him involved telling them stories of how they pooped on him as babies and such while this is going on ask the kids if they want to hear how you and their father met , tell the story highlighting points of how he was brave and romantic and made you cry etc

Make sure you make him blush , if this doesn't remind him how important you guys are to him a Brick to the side of the head never fails in resetting the brain grin

I wish you both resolve this and a safe delivery

Cheers

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by osamz007: 9:44pm On Jan 13
.
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by babyfaceafrica: 9:44pm On Jan 13
How is this an issue?.. Ladies and irrelevant worries.. Look high blood pressure and stroke is real

4 Likes

Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by id4sho(m): 9:44pm On Jan 13
Insecurity kee u their
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by seunmohmoh(f): 9:44pm On Jan 13
Only YOU can give yourself the solution.
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by 1kworks: 9:44pm On Jan 13
shocked
Re: Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! by ebicon(f): 9:44pm On Jan 13
Your health is most important right now !!!!!

3 Likes

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