chiemmanuel:
I give my mother monthly allowance, she also works, anytime she requests for extra money, I try my best to make sure I give it to her, the problem is she keeps asking for money from others, and when they ask of me, she tells them that I rarely give her money

My uncle and aunt had called me to enquire, why i don't take care of her, i had to print my statement of account, for them to see,
Meanwhile I asked my mother, she denied it

She doesn't seem to stop, I don't want it to look that I am neglecting her, I have other dependants also.

PLEASE HOW DO I HANDLE THIS SITUATION WITHOUT CAUSING PROBLEMS

Very simple

Those she reported to that you don't give her money and also denies getting money from you, hence Fort, they are now your witness

Whenever she makes any financial request, give to them she will be going there to collect it from them if that won't work, stop sending money to her through online, go to bank pay across the counter and keep the teller

Get an exercise book note every transaction and date with the teller stapled to each page that you wrote it down

Just keep it as prove of payment

Nonsense, why is she behaving like that, and you said she is your mother

Ishilove:

In that case manage mama like that, but let her know she is embarrassing you, and that if she persists in her bambi ala ways then you will truly stop giving her money (all na mouth but you sha get the point).

She can not change at this stage of her life. She can only be managed.

I agree with this. Mama is already old so no need to get offended. Although subtle threat once in a while should do

chiemmanuel:
I give my mother monthly allowance, she also works, anytime she requests for extra money, I try my best to make sure I give it to her, the problem is she keeps asking for money from others, and when they ask of me, she tells them that I rarely give her money

My uncle and aunt had called me to enquire, why i don't take care of her, i had to print my statement of account, for them to see,
Meanwhile I asked my mother, she denied it

She doesn't seem to stop, I don't want it to look that I am neglecting her, I have other dependants also.

PLEASE HOW DO I HANDLE THIS SITUATION WITHOUT CAUSING PROBLEMS

1 where is your father in this equation its your father's job cover the allowance ? money from you is token of appreciation for cant classified as allowance

2 was she ever borrowing or she does it because she knows you always chip in as your allowance is used as cushion to her borrowing

3 Continue giving her money within your means but keeps the records

4 Who ask you about the lies from your mother, use the records to speak on your behalf

5 Using point 3 & 4 eventually people will see through your mother's lies

5 Dont be blackmailed by mum "saying your are embrassing her in proving thats she is lying " object her statement by saying she is teaching you to lie to people because she lies to people

Most Africans milk their kids dry before s/he even starts his/her family . We start by sort off repaying a debts you inherit by simply being born to them. They dont even care about your own future with wife and kids . Some demand leaving with grandkids as a way to keep you sending money to them

Yes lets look after parents but parents also lets leave room for our kids to prosper better and have a better future financially than having sort lineage of poverty

[quote author=GRACEGLORY post=861099

... your mum tells those people you're not giving her isn't to paint you black, it could be cos some of those people expects from her or she tries to avoid some relatives bills, so, she thinks telling them she doesn't have enough, and her son doesn't give her will exonorate her. I'm sure if you ask her, she'd give you her reason. It could be one of the right things our parents do wrongly.
[/quote]

My mum did this.

She told her siblings that my sibling and I didn't take care of her. When I asked her why she did so, she said she didn't want people asking her for loans!

Well, I told her brother what was happening and he talked to her and put a stop to it.

It hurts so I wouldnt advise Op to be silent. He should let her close sibling know what is going on..

.

Your mum is greedy and it’s difficult to change things like that in adulthood. Whenever people call you to report her begging, tell them not to give her anything.

You can go further to tell your uncles and aunts to tell your mum that you instructed them not to give her anything again. She will stop begging if they stop giving.

Why do you have to care about those accusing you of not taking care of your mother in the first place!? Are you doing it so that your relatives can recognise your effort or what? What you're fighting for now is that she is not respecting you by telling people you don't give her money, you must have forgotten that OUR PARENTS DOES NOT OWE US ANY RESPECT, WE DO!

chiemmanuel:
I give my mother monthly allowance, she also works, anytime she requests for extra money, I try my best to make sure I give it to her, the problem is she keeps asking for money from others, and when they ask of me, she tells them that I rarely give her money

My uncle and aunt had called me to enquire, why i don't take care of her, i had to print my statement of account, for them to see,
Meanwhile I asked my mother, she denied it

She doesn't seem to stop, I don't want it to look that I am neglecting her, I have other dependants also.

PLEASE HOW DO I HANDLE THIS SITUATION WITHOUT CAUSING PROBLEMS

No wonder....you even have issues with your mother


Hahahaha

Go and face your family problem Mr man

Organicist95:


No wonder....you even have issues with your mother


Hahahaha

Go and face your family problem Mr man

at least I have a mum, yours was used for rituals, irony is that your family is still wretched

chiemmanuel:
at least I have a mum, yours was used for rituals, irony is that your family is still wretched

Hahahahahaha

Whose family is wretched?




Guy stop embarrassing yourself.....

chiemmanuel:
I give my mother monthly allowance, she also works, anytime she requests for extra money, I try my best to make sure I give it to her, the problem is she keeps asking for money from others, and when they ask of me, she tells them that I rarely give her money

My uncle and aunt had called me to enquire, why i don't take care of her, i had to print my statement of account, for them to see,
Meanwhile I asked my mother, she denied it

She doesn't seem to stop, I don't want it to look that I am neglecting her, I have other dependants also.

PLEASE HOW DO I HANDLE THIS SITUATION WITHOUT CAUSING PROBLEMS

Call a meeting...video call, conference call.. Anyhow, join everybody together . Right in front of everyone, you ask her again. Case closed!