You want a happy home and marriage then get wifey the ride later you can get yours. You have two homes already so why not 2 cars?

This is why I love Nairaland, it has a way of 'resetting' your brain,now op will GLADLY let his wife get the car without grumbling ..

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

car is a neccessity but when it becomes 4,5 or 6 then it becomes a luxury. If you think you dont want her to buy another car, then let her take the one you want to buy and you can bike otherwise, leave her alone. Moreover, she is getting the car with her money and it will be unfair to her considering the stress if a nursing mother biking. I cant imagine allowing my wife bike with my baby while i drive around

Opeyemiebun:

Hmm, thanks alot....i will take your advice and let only her get for now.
My reasons are numerous, aside the economy Families will believe we have the money stocked up somewhere . We both take care of numerous responsibilities in our extended homes

Having 2 cars with a young family (kids) is not a luxury but a necessity.

There is time and tide for everything, investments can come later. Moreso you're lucky you have the funds for both cars, for some the situation would be 1 now, 2nd later.

You nailed the case yourself, a car for you means you can justify higher charges, therefore the car isn't a liability but rather an asset that would generate greater returns.

Lastly, please desist from slavery and poverty mentality that justifies living in penury statements like 'managing for now' @family thinking you have money'. Quality of life is key and paramount to healthy and long life. Moreso, You owe absolutely nobody an explanation on how and why you spend your money. If infact you're lacking excuses Let who ever know that your expenses have infact increased; 2 cars, 2 homes and a baby. I'm more candid, I just simply say sorry I cant help now/on this occasion etc, I don't need to give anyone further justification as to why, but continue to live my life an travel the world.

@OP please let your madam get the car for now coz of her contribution, stress and caring for your child. This will keep her more open to you and as time goes on you'll get yours. You could even borrow hers anything you have meeting with clients...how about that?

BTW: Can I have your email, I wish to send you something about your profession sir.

If I were you I would let her get the car..

How old are you? Try to be sensible. How is a married man who is responsible for is nuclear family not the head? Behave!

Shallypop:
Head of family ko, tail of family ni. See ego.

Good evening, please I have something to share here which has been bothering me for some days.
Its all about my wife, we got married 2018 and we were blessed a set of twins.
She has been home since then taking care of the children why I take cares of the financial aspect.
We use to quarrel and settles, I use to be the one who begs or to talk to her first anytime we have issues like that for peace to reign.
But it happened last week she told me before going to work that she would be going out to see her mum, so on that day I got home back before her, so when she comes I saw a new cloth on her and I asked her how she got it without informing me, she apologized and I asked her if I ever got anything or brought anything inside without telling her, she apologized and told me to forgets about it, after that she said I shouldn't be annoyed that she just sold the phone I gave her for 5k and added money to get another one, I quarried her action again and she ask for forgiveness again, the following day, I saw and MP3 in her room, she Mets me there and said I shouldn't be annoyed for not telling me that too, that she also got that too, I got angry and lambasted her for all her action, and asked her where she got all the money from why she's not working, she couldn't answer me and I asked her to return d MP3 to where she got it from, I later confirmed that she got a new phone not fairly use which is contrary to what she told me. I got so angry and asked her to return everything, in order not to return it she called one of my family member and reported, so that one asked me not to mention anything concerning the phone again. The following day she came to me and apologized. But ever since then have not been talking to her because of what she did, and I also warned her seriously not to ever tell me when ever she's going out. Beside all these, she has some dept to pay worth about 50k,and we are also planing to get shop for her so that she can start doing something. All these are there and went to get a new phone worth about 30k. And that's how she has been doing taking any decisions without telling or informing me.

I NEED YOUR ADVICE CONCERNING MY WIFE'S ATTITUDE.

Good evening, please I have something to share here which has been bothering me for some days.
Its all about my wife, we got married 2018 and we were blessed a set of twins.
She has been home since then taking care of the children why I take cares of the financial aspect.
We use to quarrel and settles, I use to be the one who begs or to talk to her first anytime we have issues like that for peace to reign.
But it happened last week she told me before going to work that she would be going out to see her mum, so on that day I got home back before her, so when she comes I saw a new cloth on her and I asked her how she got it without informing me, she apologized and I asked her if I ever got anything or brought anything inside without telling her, she apologized and told me to forgets about it, after that she said I shouldn't be annoyed that she just sold the phone I gave her for 5k and added money to get another one, I quarried her action again and she ask for forgiveness again, the following day, I saw and MP3 in her room, she Mets me there and said I shouldn't be annoyed for not telling me that too, that she also got that too, I got angry and lambasted her for all her action, and asked her where she got all the money from why she's not working, she couldn't answer me and I asked her to return d MP3 to where she got it from, I later confirmed that she got a new phone not fairly use which is contrary to what she told me. I got so angry and asked her to return everything, in order not to return it she called one of my family member and reported, so that one asked me not to mention anything concerning the phone again. The following day she came to me and apologized. But ever since then have not been talking to her because of what she did, and I also warned her seriously not to ever tell me when ever she's going out. Beside all these, she has some dept to pay worth about 50k,and we are also planing to get shop for her so that she can start doing something. All these are there and went to get a new phone worth about 30k. And that's how she has been doing taking any decisions without telling or informing me.

victorian:










Na so!

Married men behaving like kids

It's her money, she plan to use on buying herself a car.

She knows her husband won't lift a finger to pay for a car except for himself .

Newsflash: if he must know, I have a young cousin who bought a Mercede Benz cars for himself and an extra for his 30 years old wife. He didn't come online to ask strangers if he should gift his wife a car. And he didn't seek for our approval. He simply did it, out of his own free will and knowing fully well he doesn't have the patience to always drop his kids at school, then branch and drop his wife at her shop while he heads to work.

My cousin is an inspiration to me, he's meticulous, family oriented, doesnt over labour his wife with house chores. While shes cooking, he's either tending to the kids or washing their curtains or thick duvee. Sometimes he comes back home with take away packs from Spar. Such an easygoing guy.


So Steppin if u guys deserve accolades as married men, be wise enough to handle your homes and family without seeking approvals from faceless strangers.

I'm not married ,but I'm In a relationship and I don't bring my relationship issues here for people to talk about. It doesn't show maturity as married men.
If u don't want any dik and Harry say how u should run your home?
Keep quiet and manage your home appropriately without third parties involved.
Protect your home!

Even me wey never marry know such rule.

Can u imagine?

Another story yet again.

Another cousin.

Lady, I must confess, you crack me up everytime.

Staying and gisting with you will be very exciting and interesting.

kunleweb:



Pro Woman You ladies of this our generation should Sha be go gentle on us when you finally get to the highest office of the land o

I am gentle. I love me my men. But you know that carrying a child around and solely taking care for one is quite challenging. Having a car will only make her life easier.

Head of family but ur here making no sense ! U can’t walk around u need a car but your wife should he walking , bussing and okadaing around with a small child and she is even using her money but as head of family u must feed ur ego without thinking of her comfort ? U don’t deserve to be married .

Opeyemiebun:

Look, I want to know from the experience of older couple on here how to manage such situation.
It is her money, and I have mine but as the head of the family I don't want to hurt her knowing she does alot too.
Thanks alot though

ImaIma1:


I am gentle. I love me my men. But you know that carrying a child around and solely taking care for one is quite challenging. Having a car will only make her life easier.

I agree. Even more important to state is the affordability of cars Tuesdays. If one needs a car of 200k thesedays one will get it bad as e be

I'm still single and don't any experience regards marriage issues, in my own opinion.........
Pls let her get the car first ( at least with her k w money) if you can't get both at the same time, cuz if you get yours and nothing for her, women don't have such understand mind, she would think u deliberately hurting her knowing what she's passing through everything time ( which I'm sure she thinks in mind she's doing all to favour u).

If you think two cars is waste of money, then get one for her, cuz to her...she needed it most,and u re a man after all, u can survive.
Pls don't let her tender ur issue with friends or at hair dressing salon.......i.e don't ruin ur home!!

[quote author=Opeyemiebun post=86323488]Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.


I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.



It's better u buy the two cars as u run two different homes in two different states or if u are thinking of buying one car then let her use it co to every successful man there is always a woman

You have to be the real man.Buy her a car.She needs the car more than you.I ve seen so many guys in Lagos jumping from one Keke to Okada while their wives at Abeokuta are the ones driving their cars for school runs and other running around.

Car is a necessity not a luxury; depending on the type of car your wife wants though. If she wants a Ferrari please don't kill yourself to please her. Any Toyota or Honda will do, in my opinion.

Opeyemiebun:
I will like to say thank you to everyone who contributed in one way or the other.
I needed to be woken up.
I have picked every useful points including the insults to ensure I be the best of myself to my wife and kid .
Happy week ahead!!!

With patience and due diligence, you can buy 2 Nigerian used cars instead of one Tokunbo car. That's what I did. Just take along 2 different mechanic (unknown to each other) to inspect the car, if they both provide consistent and positive feedback, then be rest assured that it's a good car. You'll need to be patient in sourcing the car though.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

Op be careful you no get problem, let her get her own car

Please let her have it oh .... With the ban ok keke and bike in lagos, it's just going increase her plight ..

Opeyemiebun:


Thanks alot, I believe you know how these extended families behave ..
I will let her have hers but I also desperately need one.
There is this feelings that come with my job when a client sees you dropping from a bike or Uber. A job they should offer you for 1m,they will look down on you and negotiate you for 400k.
Aside the economy side of it, Families will believe we are so much in money and the responsibilities will increase

I am into aluminium and steel works so I understand the job aspect. Why not get her the car and be borrowing more often���. The days you really need the car, you go and drop her with the kid and still pick her up when she is done. She seems a nice woman, you guys can share

RisenPhoenix:
No. You sir have parasitic tendencies. You married your wife for her paycheck it seems (making her remain at work because of 'economy'), and you don't even want her to have the necessary tools to ease her way of getting that paycheck. A man should be responsible for his family's expenses, yet you force her to work. You still want to use her money to invest in your business. Later, you will come and complain about how she does not respect you as head of the home.

Why should she? And how are you the head of anything as you stand now? You're not. From her perspective, you're functioning literally as her non-performing debtor as well as an average occasional gigolo.

true.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

Bro compromise a little for your wife. From the look of things, she needs the car more because she's nursing and cos of work. Invest the rest and be using cab for now. If not get a small car for yourself and a good car for her. All the best

Your family is blessed bro. Let her get the car if not for anything but for the sake of your kid. I mean she hustles between home-creche-work-creche and home. Besides she will stay much younger for you if the stress becomes less.

94% of all the posters on your thread have advised you to get the car for your wife...
Your final answer? Go with the audience.
If you don't do so, then why did you ask their opinion?

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

I will try as best to articulate my thoughts well so that you can understand.

Don't let her buy the car. With her money instead take her to the car mart see to it that you allow her pick the best car she likes that you two can afford and make sure it comes from your joint account.

You won't die if you don't buy your own car for once sacrifice your comfort for her love.

When she comes home during the weekend and sees how you have toiled without a car she will come out with the best solution you will ever imagine above all love your wife and express it in spoken words.

I hope you will pick one lesson OR two

Shalom

Mr. Cross Trekker,

How do you expect her To continue moving around? There’s time for everything & as long as you have a baby @ home, now is the time to get a car.

CsRockefeller:


Another story yet again.

Another cousin.

Lady, I must confess, you crack me up everytime.

Staying and gisting with you will be very exciting and interesting.

Cause I have loads of cousins out there.

Amazing right?

Nairalanders are great people and they have all answer your question in different ways with their emotions and believes especially the ladies by doing all to support your wife because she belongs to their sex.
Firstly, you are the GM of the family and any mistakes made must be accountable by you. It is not bad for you to check every activities in your home either you are the one bringing the money or your wife, but my submission is whatever you resolve to must be agreed and totally accepted by both of you. Happiness is the key in life and nobody should be deprived of that especially an hard work fellow. I will want you to be more concern of your immediate family first before extended; if you can afford two cards go ahead and buy and forget what people will feel or think, it is your money n not theirs. For me, I can go to any length for a supportive wife. Just evaluate very well n neglect what extended family will feel.
If you have business you are looking towards, the two of you can sit down and plan towards it, the two of you can even forgone buying the cars now self. It all takes mature mind and deep conversations. We all love you and envy your marriage and we wish you greater future.

Opeyemiebun:


Thanks alot, I believe you know how these extended families behave ..
I will let her have hers but I also desperately need one.
There is this feelings that come with my job when a client sees you dropping from a bike or Uber. A job they should offer you for 1m,they will look down on you and negotiate you for 400k.
Aside the economy side of it, Families will believe we are so much in money and the responsibilities will increase

eh yaaah, I can now see your reasons sha, it is well, but no matter what, allow your wife get her own car and if you can, also get one for your construction job sake, don't worry too much about tomorrow, tomorrow will sure take care of itself okay.


A married woman with baby need a car, it's a necessity not a luxury, so let her have her own car since can afford ito pls. I wish you the best

franchasng:
eh yaaah, I can now see your reasons sha, it is well, but no matter what, allow your wife get her own car and if you can, also get one for your construction job sake, don't worry too much about tomorrow, tomorrow will sure take care of itself okay.


A married woman with baby need a car, it's a necessity not a luxury, so let her have her own car since can afford ito pls. I wish you the best

Nnwanne. The day wey your wife go even try guess your password cum check your NL activities ehn

Honestly, if your wife is hell bent on getting a car then you should get it for her before you even get yours since she’s the one taking care of the kid; you don’t want your wife jumping buses with your kid, it’s a total disrespect to you especially if you can afford it. you can pause all other commitments and get yours after, I pray God provides more for you so you don’t have to over-calcu