[size=14pt]Would you marry someone below your status?[/size]
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In a changing world, where the population of eligible bachelors is falling daily, ladies now find themselves having to marry men who may be below their status in terms of educational attainments or economic standing. As would be expected, this is re-defining the male-female relationship equation. The long held perceptions of the past no longer seem to jell with most people.


Seun Adams has this to say: “I had this guy I dated for over four years whose financial status can’t be compared to mine but despite this I was faithful to him and I loved him with everything. At that time I thought he was a good person but right now I think otherwise because when I began to analyze memories I found out he was only using me. So I would rather advice anyone not to waste time with someone who is just below your class because it can never work.

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Sarah Ope


Tonia Aderonke shares her experience too: “Ours was made in heaven, although I was a lot older and better educated than Kelvin (not real name) but he seems older. Kelvin was the perfect date, when I first met him it was an instant attraction, he had all the right characteristics, he was tall, fair with brown eyes and an eager smile and he wore a crisp white sleeveless shirt that day. And he had this bold tattoo on his left arms too. I didn’t have to impress him much because he hardly knew what the political and economic climate was about. He didn’t understand what the melt down was about neither did he understand what the climate change was either.


All he wanted to talk about was music. I let him be because for once I was enjoying not been in academic environment. He filled me in on the latest club on the island and I enjoyed all the outings. It might just be because he called me beautiful or he sent me text message just to say hi. But I continued to date Kelvin. Honestly, I was happy with him but there was a nag I couldn’t introduce him to my friends, how much more my professor parents.
His IQ was below average and he was so wild I knew right deep down he wasn’t really doing anything tangible at that time. I wanted to help him, I wanted to be open-minded, and I wanted to give him more chance. Was I shallow? I was too cowardly to hurt him but I knew the relationship couldn’t grow. I knew I just had to let go because I couldn’t get past our polar differences.


Interestingly, Kemi Adedayo also opined that marrying a man below her class is a no, no, explaining: “My answer to that is absolute no; I can never marry a man below my class because I really need someone to be proud of. Someone I can easily tell the whole world about. Really I need someone high up there, not in terms of money but I would prefer someone who is intellectually sound, vast and more knowledgeable than me. I think it is possible for me if I were to be a man to marry a woman below my status but as a woman I can’ marry a man below my status. You know a woman needs to flaunt her man, someone that has a solution to my problems.


Seun Jayeola view is that “it is good for every woman to know that using your head along with your heart will help you select the right partner. You see there some issues you just don’t overlook when saying I do. I honestly think that in every relationship social status and money count a lot. If you marry below your social class you might end up with so much problem. Although there are marriages where they have major differences in status and they have managed to work things out but I don’t think I can handle it though.”


Tinuke Williams plunged into such relationship and she came out with burnt fingers.Recalling that experience, she says: “I wouldn’t say we were not in the same class because his families and I came from the middle class. But I am the only child of my parents so I had everything at my beck and call. On his part he was the first child and he had to struggle through school. I met Tunde at the church and we became great friends. Afterwards we began dating, I was five years younger than him but to be modest I was always the centre of attraction anywhere I went. Aside the fact that I was very pretty girl, I guess I was easily loved by everyone who came in contact with me.

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I don't believe in status and the "out of my league" stuff

rokiatu:

I don't believe in status and the "out of my league" stuff

Will you marry alaye?

Statue is nothing than a gift . . . We are all endowed in different way . .  .So i can say got no prb with statue too!

Aloy+Emeka:

Will you marry alaye?

How can I marry someone I don't know/love

rokiatu:

How can I marry someone I don't know/love

Assuming you know one and love him so much but he is alaye. Will you marry him?.

D-sense:

Statue is nothing than a gift . . . We are all endowed in different way . .  .So i can say got no prb with statue too!

Status and not statue.

did she dip her mouth in blood?

Carolece:

did she dip her mouth in blood?

Roflmao; she desperately wants to entice men with oshodi oke lip gloss.
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Aloy+Emeka:

Assuming you know one and love him so much but he is alaye. Will you marry him?.

He is not a killer, he is not a theif, he is not a rapist sure why not?

Why is this seen only from the female point of view? I mean, it's ok for guys to marry ladys below their status but not vice versa? Looking critically, feminists should be mad at this. Lol. Its a sexist suggestion

Scratching head!!!, okay I've never been one to date men for their pocket, however I am a sucker for brainy men, but unfortunate;y not all of them know how to put the brains to good use, and this is a sad fact of life. Anyway! I will date a man below my class only if he is ambitious, has a grand plan on how to lift himself up, and is putting a lot of effort in making things happen for himself, than to pay lip service about what he wants to achieve.

The thing is we attach ourselves to others in order to remain inspired. I was checking my phone bill this month and honestly people life is costly, so who the heck on earth still wants to carry on like a hippy in the 60ties living for s3x, drugs and alcohol 

As much as there's play, there's also bills to be taken care of.

No sorry o I as a woman I wouldt marry a man below my status. My personal prefernence

When you see a man or a woman talking about status, age is still favourable,
just wait till he is becoming Methusella, or she becoming Sarah, then STATUS will becoming un-important.

I don't believe in status but true LOVE.

ebonyvibe:

No sorry o I as a woman I wouldt marry a man below my status. My personal prefernence

And your status is?. What if you are 39 years old, divorced,2 kids and laid off from work, will you agree to marry a man below your status?.

No because there will always be men who are divorced with kids and by the way who said it is by force to get married. If i am laid off work, i need to get another one or start a business. If i go for a man below my status one i will over burden his already empty pocket and i dont think men are pay checks

My grand dad died when my grand mother was in her early 30's and she chose never to remarry. She died last year at the age of 85 she had lots of children around her that kept her busy. You guys see marriage as a do or die affair.

yeah,what is d big deal.even dose pipu up to ur status culd turn to something else cuz dey believe dey were doin fine b4 meetin me luv is all dat matters.

@ fabby

I agree with you men need respect a woman cannot respect a man below her status.

nawaaaaoooo!!! 70% of our dear 9ja babes dem back home fully depend on their boyfriends,,status ko statue ni, abeg follow where ur heart leads u,, if na stutus thin most of our girls dem go turn single over nite, cos we guys knws we re, wait till 37 and come here and tell us what u still think abt status,COW,ugly thin

^^^^ spoken like a tru angry hungry man. because you just aint cutting it

VERY ANGRY:

nawaaaaoooo!!! 70% of our dear 9ja babes dem back home fully depend on their boyfriends,,status ko statue ni, abeg follow where your heart leads u,, if na stutus thin most of our girls dem go turn single over nite, cos we guys knws we re, wait till 37 and come here and tell us what u still think abt status,COW,ugly thin

if they depend on boyfriends hows does she explain the money she has to her parents especially if she aint working and living with the parents

Why are Nigerians so classist?? It's even more annoying that the class system is more or less based on money.
I don't see anything wrong with marrying someone below my 'status'

Though it should be noted that when I marry someone, it'll be someone I share a lot of things in common with.
So while I won't mind marrying someone of a different social status, I don't see myself having many things in common with say a lady that's born and bred with traditional African values or some hardcore environmentalist.

And y'all need to stop seeing marriage as a flipping investment.

It depends on what is status and how you conceptualize it at it relates with your aspiration and life generally. What is marriage and what is status and what are the relationships. These are questions no one can fully answer before tying the knot. Then the issue of compatibility comes in which in many ways than dozens are affected by a lot of factors.

What is status -- -- financial, family, social, educational, professional, religious, ethnic/nationalities, political, personalities, fashion, communication, world-view, sex, health, behavioral, parenting, etc.

If you consider one or some favorable, I bet you others will come to haunt you and if you are not ready to cope with them will crash the marriage,

What is marriage -- -- attraction, love, affinity, desire, passion, emotion, excitement, trust, understanding, care, forgiveness, tolerance, dutifulness, anger, disappointment, fortitude, sharing, giving, support, sacrifice, alliance, partnership, beauty, reflection, apathy, friendship, integration, avarice, complicity, reproduction, intimacy, selflessness, responsibilities, loss of freedom, etc.

If you are not ready for these then it is better you forget marriage.

What are the relationships -- -- compromise. No other words, if you are not ready to and for compromise, it is better you remain single. Status will never help you in any way, the only way status will help you is if you compromise some aspects of your status for another aspects of your would be partner status.

If you marry for money, money will tear you apart;  if you marry for beauty, beauty will fade; if you marry for education, education will be used to repress you, if you marry for opulence, opulence will sicken you; if you marry for religion, you become a bigot; if you marry for sex, sex will tire out; if you marry for politics, political interest/ideology will change; if you marry for family, family will disperse; if you marry for ethnic/nationalities, wars and conflicts will destroy your life and so on and so forth.

So, compatibility comes in and is built on the altar of compromise, it is the only instrument with which the ship of marriage is navigated through the turbulence of marital life. Without this instrument you are only transiting and having fun. Marriage is not about having fun, it is life in itself with all the uncertainties.

To the question by the poster, would you marry someone below your status? YES, that is what marriage is all about and that is what everybody in marriage has simply done. If you are superior or better off in one aspect of statuses than your partner, your partner is also superior or better off in on other aspect of statuses. That is life and that is marriage.

For those who are planning to get marred or dating, this is the truth you must know about marriage if you are to remain in it. The experience you have, good or bad, is a function of how you and your partner handles your relationship.

aint cuttin it? ops! looks like i hit the nail just close to ur head,face reality my dear

i believe its beta for guys to marry a lady below dia status.but i dont tink its advisable for ladies marrying a guy below her status.

u talk as if u re from mongolia, explain what? the same parents who even help to make plans with the daughters? bros ,talk no be food

tunyus:

i believe its beta for guys to marry a lady below dia status.but i dont tink its advisable for ladies marrying a guy below her status.

thats being short sighted she will catch later to be in your status through you and aim high if she is wise

all these celebrities where born as common people now they act as if there where born celebrites from day one

If there's disparity in wealth (say, she comes from a destitute background), it shouldnt affect our union at all.
However i can imagine having problems if she is a stark illiterate; you cant converse intelligently or  take her on
double or triple dates, she may have nothing to teach the eventual kids etc.

Its even worse if the man is the stark illiterate; his girl's friends wont let it go as they will look down on him.
On the other hand if she's the one that is dumb but shapely as f.uc.k, the men wont really mind as long as he has money to take
care of everything else.

@ Olumogun and Fabby26, You guys are 100% correct.

U dey yan truth!