All this hungry parents... I raise yash for them

.

joshjc:
Hmm,tell her to go to ministry of women affairs and report her dad
So you and your girlfriend started dating at the age of 16 and 14,you need serious flogging

Typical African mentality. That they are friends does it mean they are intimate?

Ask when Messi first met the wife. It was much more younger than this nah.

bendazum:


Typical African mentality. That they are friends does it mean they are intimate?

Ask when Messi first met the wife. It was much more younger than this nah.

Mr typical European what will be your reaction if your 14 old sister introduced a 16 year old guy as her boyfriend to you

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

there's always this type of (look the other way) people. horrible

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

a man about to sell his 17 year old daughter obviously to the highest bidder and all you could say is how culture differ? Were you taught characteristics of culture in primary school? Were you taught culture is evolving and transitive? I bet parents of girls suffering from VVF for giving birth to early didn't mean to hurt them. I wish y'all will open your eyes and mind to see how you are destroying these girls. I don't support the relationship the op has with the girl but your response in justification of the Father is repulsive.

Forced17:

I deserve any punishment
but I want to save her from getting married to an old man she knows nothing about
she has a future and dreams

We obviously can't help you, but you can write to the ministry of women affair closest to you on this. Make it as quick as possible and as urgent as possible. I pray respite will come her way soon

Davash222:
She’s 14 when you started dating her
You’re worse than the father!


Anyways, na Small pikin still dey worry both of una.

he is worse than the girl's father? Because he started dating a minor while he himself was still a minor? He's worse than an adult who is blackmailing his own family that he should be protecting just so he can sell his daughter (a minor) to an old man?

Your sense of right and wrong is skewed.

k2money:

Is that also the reason for you to start having affairs with her at the age of 14?
My brother you are disgusting me. You think the father will hear this and won't hand you over to police?

hand him over to the police for starting a relationship with a child while still a child?


Any police man that wastes his time one that case is even more stupid than the girls father. The tyrant doesn't even give a damn about his daughter or family. True scum!

DAVE5:


The op and his girlfriend have been dating since she was 14

Who is worse, the op who has no plan for her and has been using her for 3 years or the father who wants to marry off his 17 year old daughter

I am in no way in support of child marriage but let's call a spade what it is

child marriage is FAR worse. They aren't even comparable.

Bahddo:
hand him over to the police for starting a relationship with a child while still a child?


Any police man that wastes his time one that case is even more stupid than the girls father. The tyrant doesn't even give a damn about his daughter or family. True scum!

The father is an animal but remember that stupid guy is now 19 years old, so saying that trash out of his mouth he deserve jail terms.

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

What is this uncle saying less forget the teenage relationship tin btn the girl and the boi here. So, u mean u ar in support of this stuff? Assuming the girl in question is ur family member, na this wan u get to talk?

jeff1607:



Exkiss me please , you have a what together?

can u feed her?

can you handle her emotional needs

can you protect her

can you cater for kids coming in


Do you have a roof over your head?

will you be able to sponsor her education?

Bros all this tins u talk so only time go tell.
Not that i'm supporting them dating at an early age, but there are some married couple that are still married today who met themselves at a very tender age.
The man she's going to marry is an old man which is child abuse and besides might even going to be a second fido u nvr can tell. The girl has the right to her future not this by force marriage. Bros talk truth.

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

You and this your outdated ideas! Tueh!!!

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

My friend shut up, you don't understand Islam. It is the likes of illitrates like you that paints everyone black. Your culture is not Islam, pls separate the two entities. In Islam, it is compulsory that the girl agree to the marriage, and she must not be forced. Without her agreement the solemnization is zero. Pls go and ask knowledgeable ustaz, read more, and stop dropping stupid archaic and violent cultures in the name of Islam

Mummymahdi:
I need to flog u 2 for this. Will ur parent be happy of what u are doing? Allow d girl to take action not just random small cingum boy like u; at 19 u are trying to scatter another person life? Had it been u are a man that can take responsibility of marriage I would suggest u push to marry her
Back off boy

And yet he is still more reasonable than you
At least he knows that a girl of 17 is too young for marriage..

Lovelyn451:
If she's ripe for dating at 17, she's also ripe for marriage...thank you

People date at 17 and no they don’t marry at 17
Is this how Nigerians reason sef

Forced17:

please sir
how do I contact them

You may be 17
But you are a Mahn
Better than those who claims to be adults on this forum but are really kids.
You are a Mahn!

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

This is the one thing I hate about Nigerian Muslim.
Child Marriage

makydebbie:


You've made valid points.

hmmmmm...... Once a small girl taste the forbidden fruit, she is never same again

Forced17:
Good morning Nairalanders

This has been eating me up for days. Me and this girl have been together for 3 years now, she's 17 and I'm 19.

I accept all bashings for being in a relationship at this age, she's the last born though and we perfectly understand each other.

Now her father is forcing her to marry a man in Kaduna, she refused and the father threatened to throw her and her siblings including the mum out into the streets or send them to the village if she doesn't marry the man.

Now she hasn't even for days now and she's contemplating on taking her life and she just told me about this yesterday and this has brought me down so much. I don't know what to do, I need help. This is about her future, I don't want her to be forced to become a mother at 17 and living under a man she doesn't know.

She has only three weeks before the man comes to take her away.
My girlfriend is being sold into marriage and I don't know what to do.

I need help, I'm heartbroken��
I don't know who can help me push this to front page

I will start by saying that it is good asking for help when you don't have answers.

I will also say that the road you're taking is one a lot of people have passed through.

My candid advice as a relationship counselor is that you seek expert guidance.

If you need my services and assistance I can offer them free of charge on the basis that you're a teenager
and the young lady in question is a minor.

That said, let me offer you some preambular advice:

1.) Nigeria is a signatory to international laws that protect the rights of women.
Our Constitution also guarantees and protects the rights of women.
The same Constitution (1999) also confers on all citizens rights to dignity of human person.

To force a minor into marriage, amongst other things, is a violation of her fundamental human rights.
Her father doesn't have that right to force or conscript her into marriage against her wish.

2.) Your "girlfriend" as you have defined your relationship with her,
is presently undergoing so much emotional turmoil and disturbance. I understand.
This is why she is contemplating taking her life.

Suicide has never helped anyone and never will. As long as there's life, there's a way.
Also, in life we're bound to face challenges.

Challenges are part of human existence. What matters is how you respond to them.
If you remain resolute, tactical and continue to think or look for a solution, you will
eventually find one.

The lives of many people who went through difficulties in life are testimonies and proofs
of this all-time true reality of human sojourn on earth.

Your female friend needs counselling from someone with experience in these matters.
She needs to realize that what she's going through is but a phase of life. She will overcome it.
Suicide isn't the way out.

I have so much to say but I don't have all the time to say them here.

3.) On her father--
He's being manipulative and devious. He is using threat as a means to enforce obedience.
Love isn't something you force on someone.

She will most likely never enjoy that marriage. First, she is a minor. It is unlawful to force her
into marriage against her will and consent. Second, she doesn't love the man they want her
to get married to. Third, she is inexperienced in the ways of the world.

If they force her into marrying that man, she will one day decide to come out of it when she is of age
because by then she would have developed the maturity of will power and strength of purpose.

Her father doesn't know all this. He is only playing a script based on his background and upbringing.

If he wants to send her and her mum back to the village let him do it! Tell your female friend
and her mum not to back down. No matter how remote and under developed that village
may be it isn't a death sentence.

Manipulators always resort to threats and forceful coercion in order to perpetrate their acts.

Even if they end up in the streets, that isn't the end of the world. I am not saying they will end up there.

4.) For you--
I will advise that you tread carefully. Don't act in anyway that will make her parents know
that you are a stumbling block or that you're interfering in their family affairs.
Remember, you're not married to your female friend.

Both of you are only friends. I will advise that you don't show up or be seen or heard from by them too often.
Help her by advising her and telling her all I have written here because you care for her as a friend and not
because you hope to get something from her in return tomorrow. Read that twice or even thrice.

Never help someone because you're expecting something in return. Never help because you
hope that tomorrow both of you will get married. Help her because she's a friend and it is the right
thing to do. The help I mean here is ADVICE. Nothing else.

Both of you may get married tomorrow or may not. Don't be too certain on this now.
Face your future as a man now and help your friend now the much you can.

5.) Lastly, this needs to be reported to an NGO that protects the rights of the girl child.
If you know any, do speak to them. Call their office or visit them and explain what is going on.
They can help. They will most likely intervene. If you want me to recommend any for you
do let me know too.

Your friend is too young for such early marriage. She has a great future ahead of her.

I wish her all the best.

God bless you.


THE CREATIVE LUV DOC.

Sarang:


And yet he is still more reasonable than you
At least he knows that a girl of 17 is too young for marriage..

Its Nairaland u can say what ever u feel like.

Davash222:
She’s 14 when you started dating her
You’re worse than the father!


Anyways, na Small pikin still dey worry both of una.

Nice posting

Karanta Martanin Ƙaskanci Mai Zafi Da Nafisa Abdullahi Tayiwa wani Da Yace " Rufemana Bakinki Saura Naki videon Tsaraici A Fitar"

Quality20:
in Islam parents are highly responsible for their children and wards under them. Pls allow the man do as he please, he isn't going to hurt his daughter. she is under his care and will account for her on judgement day. Pls don't spoil another man's family, u are only a random boyfriend who might eventually use,dump n spoil d innocent girls life.
I'm myself dating a Hausa lady and I know n accept that the father can chose to marry her out to any man he wish and I can't question that. Even though I love her, I'm not going to tell her to rebel against her parents. I repeat, don't spoil things for other ppl, u r not responsible for this girl and u can't change that. Cultures vary a lot, u can't impose ur cultural views on others

It's obvious the traditions of Islam is responsible for some of the backwardness of the north.

thorpido:
Nonsense.What of the girl's rights?

Girls have no rights in Islam

Then present yourself to her dad for marriage

Forced17:
Good morning Nairalanders

This has been eating me up for days. Me and this girl have been together for 3 years now, she's 17 and I'm 19.

I accept all bashings for being in a relationship at this age, she's the last born though and we perfectly understand each other.

Now her father is forcing her to marry a man in Kaduna, she refused and the father threatened to throw her and her siblings including the mum out into the streets or send them to the village if she doesn't marry the man.

Now she hasn't even for days now and she's contemplating on taking her life and she just told me about this yesterday and this has brought me down so much. I don't know what to do, I need help. This is about her future, I don't want her to be forced to become a mother at 17 and living under a man she doesn't know.

She has only three weeks before the man comes to take her away.
My girlfriend is being sold into marriage and I don't know what to do.

I need help, I'm heartbroken��
I don't know who can help me push this to front page

I didn't expect this trash from an adult.
Don't you think you're so foolish? At this age you should be thinking about you studies and career not an underage girl that has not even discovered herself to know wether you're her kinda man.

Get a life boy

CreativeLuvDoc:


I will start by saying that it is good asking for help when you don't have answers.

I will also say that the road you're taking is one a lot of people have passed through.

My candid advice as a relationship counselor is that you seek expert guidance.

If you need my services and assistance I can offer them free of charge on the basis that you're a teenager
and the young lady in question is a minor.

That said, let me offer you some preambular advice:

1.) Nigeria is a signatory to international laws that protect the rights of women.
Our Constitution also guarantees and protects the rights of women.
The same Constitution (1999) also confers on all citizens rights to dignity of human person.

To force a minor into marriage, amongst other things, is a violation of her fundamental human rights.
Her father doesn't have that right to force or conscript her into marriage against her wish.

2.) Your "girlfriend" as you have defined your relationship with her,
is presently undergoing so much emotional turmoil and disturbance. I understand.
This is why she is contemplating taking her life.

Suicide has never helped anyone and never will. As long as there's life, there's a way.
Also, in life we're bound to face challenges.

Challenges are part of human existence. What matters is how you respond to them.
If you remain resolute, tactical and continue to think or look for a solution, you will
eventually find one.

The lives of many people who went through difficulties in life are testimonies and proofs
of this all-time true reality of human sojourn on earth.

Your female friend needs counselling from someone with experience in these matters.
She needs to realize that what she's going through is but a phase of life. She will overcome it.
Suicide isn't the way out.

I have so much to say but I don't have all the time to say them here.

3.) On her father--
He's being manipulative and devious. He is using threat as a means to enforce obedience.
Love isn't something you force on someone.

She will most likely never enjoy that marriage. First, she is a minor. It is unlawful to force her
into marriage against her will and consent. Second, she doesn't love the man they want her
to get married to. Third, she is inexperienced in the ways of the world.

If they force her into marrying that man, she will one day decide to come out of it when she is of age
because by then she would have developed the maturity of will power and strength of purpose.

Her father doesn't know all this. He is only playing a script based on his background and upbringing.

If he wants to send her and her mum back to the village let him do it! Tell your female friend
and her mum not to back down. No matter how remote and under developed that village
may be it isn't a death sentence.

Manipulators always resort to threats and forceful coercion in order to perpetrate their acts.

Even if they end up in the streets, that isn't the end of the world. I am not saying they will end up there.

4.) For you--
I will advise that you tread carefully. Don't act in anyway that will make her parents know
that you are a stumbling block or that you're interfering in their family affairs.
Remember, you're not married to your female friend.

Both of you are only friends. I will advise that you don't show up or be seen or heard from by them too often.
Help her by advising her and telling her all I have written here because you care for her as a friend and not
because you hope to get something from her in return tomorrow. Read that twice or even thrice.

Never help someone because you're expecting something in return. Never help because you
hope that tomorrow both of you will get married. Help her because she's a friend and it is the right
thing to do. The help I mean here is ADVICE. Nothing else.

Both of you may get married tomorrow or may not. Don't be too certain on this now.
Face your future as a man now and help your friend now the much you can.

5.) Lastly, this needs to be reported to an NGO that protects the rights of the girl child.
If you know any, do speak to them. Call their office or visit them and explain what is going on.
They can help. They will most likely intervene. If you want me to recommend any for you
do let me know too.

Your friend is too young for such early marriage. She has a great future ahead of her.

I wish her all the best.

God bless you.


THE CREATIVE LUV DOC.

thank you very much sir
I tired contacting one of the NGO's but they aren't responding
is there any other NGO you know that can help the girl?
This is not about what I'm going to gain, it's about her future that is about to be destroyed and I can't sit back and watch it happen

Mariangeles:

Ahn ahn!
Feelings and dating are part of growing up.
Dating is not reason enough to force someone into marriage.

the dad already spoilt everything by forcing and threatening her. He should've allowed her mum do the talking with all the emotional drama the mum would play, she will accept the marriage willingly, if the man is good, she'll be happy at last. My friend married at that age, her husband was 27, today they're happy together with 3 kids and shes in the university too. This so called "man" might not even be up to 30. BT the father has spoilt everything sha

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Forced17:

she's not a Muslim and we have a future together

lwkmd, have a future together abeg should we tell him