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Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! - Family - Nairaland

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Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Nobody: 1:51pm On Feb 13, 2020
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:

The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?

1588 Likes 154 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by taylor89(m): 1:53pm On Feb 13, 2020
Such is life bro


After what I went through years back from a horrible ex I came to a conclusion that it's only ur parents and siblings that truly loves u genuinely that's why I can never trade their love for a pvssy I don't know its next benefactor


Life is so unfair, these kind of adulterous women hardly contact HIV, but cool dude that has been celibate for years now will just hit one night stand now, Boom HIV go show himself

651 Likes 35 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Goldencheese(m): 1:53pm On Feb 13, 2020
I pity those children.

280 Likes 14 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by galaxy2020(m): 1:56pm On Feb 13, 2020
Everyone with his or her own spirit controlling them. Find a compartable spirit, to make your marriage enjoyable.

97 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by faithfull18(f): 1:57pm On Feb 13, 2020

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by bigiyaro(m): 2:11pm On Feb 13, 2020
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

573 Likes 31 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Native101: 2:16pm On Feb 13, 2020
Society is screwed up already. And we are just seeing a tip of what is going to obtain in 20, 30 years from now.

115 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by benratigan3(m): 2:42pm On Feb 13, 2020
why blame the woman only?
first scenario, both are adults and you should blame both.you are bias in your conclusion
second scenario, hmmmm I advice Nigerian guys ,if woman no like you don't influence her with money cos when it goes she goes with it.I blame both parties and op you are bias with your conclusion. at least the first scenario, you heard from both sides ,the second you didn't

326 Likes 16 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by crackkhaus: 3:09pm On Feb 13, 2020
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.
Deep cool

159 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by drmikeadams(m): 4:24pm On Feb 13, 2020
crackkhaus:

Deep cool
grin grin

Walai

9 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by We4all: 4:57pm On Feb 13, 2020
OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short s*x or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.


The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.
The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:

The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!



2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy(about 4 years) and a girl(about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.
From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.
I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?



Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.

359 Likes 22 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by elektra(f): 5:09pm On Feb 13, 2020
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

295 Likes 28 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Jman06(m): 5:15pm On Feb 13, 2020
benratigan3:
why blame the woman only?
first scenario, both are adults and you should blame both.you are bias in your conclusion
second scenario, hmmmm I advice Nigerian guys ,if woman no like you don't influence her with money cos when it goes she goes with it.I blame both parties and op you are bias with your conclusion. at least the first scenario, you heard from both sides ,the second you didn't
Such women don't marry for "love", they marry for the money

50 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Ganjafama(m): 5:35pm On Feb 13, 2020
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name? There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.

882 Likes 90 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Fountainofyouth(f): 5:59pm On Feb 13, 2020
benratigan3:
why blame the woman only?
first scenario, both are adults and you should blame both.you are bias in your conclusion
second scenario, hmmmm I advice Nigerian guys ,if woman no like you don't influence her with money cos when it goes she goes with it.I blame both parties and op you are bias with your conclusion. at least the first scenario, you heard from both sides ,the second you didn't

Thank you, Op is a confused manboy.

52 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Fountainofyouth(f): 6:04pm On Feb 13, 2020
We4all:


Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.


Beautifully typed!!! When I saw the taking the kids to her parents, I knew Op is delusional, is it her parents or relatives that produced the semen that birth the kids? Men will be claiming "I am responsible, I am responsible" but some are not responsible enough to single handedly take care of their own kids, na only for money dem fit claim "head of the family" smellos.

113 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Ganjafama(m): 6:07pm On Feb 13, 2020
elektra:


Go and marry the Ape.
You seem agitated or angry at something. Anyway, I don't have the time to exchange banters with people in a faceless forum. Have a nice day.

384 Likes 20 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Nobody: 6:08pm On Feb 13, 2020
We4all:

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Raising children is the sole responsibility of both parents. Women are good at looking after and taking good care of children. That's why God made them as helps to men.
Par adventure she dies, the man can re-marry and allow another woman help him, so they can both take care of the children.

Marriage as I understand is for better, for worse. That he's facing challenges now doesn't mean it will end that way!

It is not right for a man to solely take care of his children. It is not also right for a woman. That's why a man and a woman need to take care of their children together, no matter the hardship that comes.

Can you abandon your kids with your husband because of hardship? Pls be factual.

92 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by benratigan3(m): 6:09pm On Feb 13, 2020
Jman06:
Such women don't marry for "love", they marry for the money
yes bro but who brings the money? the guy right √.I can't use money to toast woman but dem must follow me

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Fountainofyouth(f): 6:09pm On Feb 13, 2020
Jman06:
Such women don't marry for "love", they marry for the money


Was the husband blind of that fact when he was busy flaunting and spending on her to have her to himself? He didn't think of alternatives in case the one he had finishes?

15 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Pavore9: 6:15pm On Feb 13, 2020
The man in the second scenario has to brace up, reality is that the wife has taken the highway and he has to balance up the role of a care giver and the provider. Many women over the decades have played these dual roles when the fathers of their children disappear from the scene with the belief that after the women have done the heavy lifting of raising the children that those children would come look for them, seems
the wife shares the same thought.

132 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by KevinDein: 6:18pm On Feb 13, 2020
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.
Bruh.... cool
I don't expect loyalty so I'm never gonna feel betrayed.

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Nobody: 6:19pm On Feb 13, 2020
Fountainofyouth:



Was the husband blind of that fact when he was busy flaunting and spending on her to have her to himself? He didn't think of alternatives in case the one he had finishes?

Women are very good at pretending! She could be displaying the character of a virtuous woman while courting. You can't know these things completely. It's only God that gives a good partner.

50 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Nobody: 6:22pm On Feb 13, 2020
Pavore9:
The man in the second scenario has to brace up, reality is that the wife has taken the highway and he has to balance up the role of a care giver and the provider. Many women over the decades have played these dual roles when the fathers of their children disappear from the scene with the belief that after the women have done the heavy lifting of raising the children that those children would come look for them, seem the wife shares the same thought.

It is not that easy bro. Do you know why God made it a woman's sole responsibility to give birth? They have this special touch on kids. Let's be factual. Let's not allow the new trend and gender equality cloud our reasoning

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Miarose: 6:29pm On Feb 13, 2020
Both genders have failed the society. The men are entitled to promiscuity but they don't sleep with themselves, do they, they sleep with women. Are these women imported from China?
When you fetch ant infested firewood into ur house, it will bite everyone including the children. They are the biggest casualties of this self entitled generation. Women today are more educated, more opinionated, more empowered... They will not stay and cower like our mothers. The men of today have no shame, they can't even open their mouth and speak against their flag bearer that die in hotels. Right now, anything we see, we take.

110 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Pavore9: 6:29pm On Feb 13, 2020
OcVoice:


It is not that easy bro. Do you know why God made it a woman's sole responsibility to give birth? They have this special touch on kids. Let's be factual. Let's not allow the new trend and gender equality cloud our reasoning

Abandoning one's child/children be it the father or mother is not about gender equality but a case of a disordered mind because it is a heartless action but unfortunately, it is being rationalized and normalized by the day.

The children should be removed from that setting as they are been negatively exposed, if his mum is still alive he could take them to her while he sends her their upkeep.

43 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Kaycee54321(m): 6:45pm On Feb 13, 2020
Second scenario is the reason why I will never marry if I don't have a certain level of cash flow and why I CAN NEVER marry a female who has nothing going on for herself... That crap about men taking care of a woman doesn't work on me

I earn, you earn, we care for each other, we raise a family together like a damn team...if e no work, na to kuku dey single... No be by force to born. Can't imagine bringing innocent babies to suffer.

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by missimelda01(f): 7:09pm On Feb 13, 2020
Op why do you sound surprised? This world is corrupt, not a new thing. I once met a man who told me he's been married for 11years and he has dated 8 ladies so far, he was even bragging that all the ladies are married now and he attended their weddings.. in other words, he carries a good luck charm that helps ladies get married grin

102 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Nobody: 7:13pm On Feb 13, 2020
OcVoice:


Women are very good at pretending! She could be displaying the character of a virtuous woman while courting. You can't know these things completely. It's only God that gives a good partner.

Abeg leave that thing. When men see beautiful women, they throw their brain into the ocean.

But one thing they don't know is that to keep a beautiful woman you have to be prepared to work all the days of your life even at old age.

If you don't do your job, another man (alhaji) will carry them sharp sharp. Let him go and look for work, at least the face of the fine kids should encourage him.

49 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Deandean: 7:19pm On Feb 13, 2020
We4all:


Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.
I'm sorry but u are very stupid...very very stupid...if u had said these b4 me,i definitely would av hit ur mouth...

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by elektra(f): 7:24pm On Feb 13, 2020
Fountainofyouth:



Beautifully typed!!! When I saw the taking the kids to her parents, I knew Op is delusional, is it her parents or relatives that produced the semen that birth the kids? Men will be claiming "I am responsible, I am responsible" but some are not responsible enough to single handedly take care of their own kids, na only for money dem fit claim "head of the family" smellos.

Can you imagine?
These men truly believe the woman is responsible for raising the man's offspring. If the woman is indisposed, then her own family must step up and fill in for her. As if the kids are bearing the woman's name.
Meanwhile the men and their families will relax till the kids are grown before they come to claim the kids. Bunch of cowards.

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