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Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! - Family (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! (116584 Views)

What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? / What My Fiancee Said Is Bothering Me / What's Your Biggest Fear About Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by DaddyGngeess(m): 11:44pm On Feb 16
My brother, what my eyes has seen since I open my hotel..abeg make we just leave that talk shall...

everybody go die last last so no need stressing oneself over nothing

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by benratigan3(m): 11:44pm On Feb 16
Jman06:
Such women don't marry for "love", they marry for the money
most marry for the love ,but when their lover's love is lost? what next......?
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by dominique(f): 11:45pm On Feb 16
LadySarah:


Your opinion based on ur experience.
My mum loves me and I I turn love my kids. I don't support her leaving them but it has happened and women have suffered same fate even more yet they raise their kids without this bullshit story here.

Don't mind them. For every one woman that abandon her kids, about 750 men does same and we don't create multiple topics to wail.

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by chronique(m): 11:45pm On Feb 16
Tsam96:


Most people only read/listen and respond for the sake of arguments...I didn't want to reply to this comment earlier cos I see a lot of people have jumped in to reply already... I'll just say this...you guys (and not just you in particular now) should learn to understand a person's point of view in every post first before turning everything to a "them" vs "us" argument...

OP wasn't raising a patriarchy argument. But as usual I see y'all feminism geng jumping all over this thread like that's all it's about. He raised salient points about his fear of marriage and the family structure in general. It's interesting how gender all of a sudden became the Crux of the argument...

Feminism/Gender equality isn't meant to be an attack on men or the traditional family institution (obviously that institution produced better people with strong moral values than what we see today. Throwing it away in the name of feminism/gender equality is just not sound).

They don't have to be mutually exclusive. At this rate, Divorces and broken homes like the OP described will become an all too familiar trend in our society if we don't start thinking with our brains instead of our Instruments (and that goes for both male and female folks)

I swear! Too many daft and stupid people on this forum. Every little thing, they turn it to a them vs us argument(both men and women guilty of this). They never calm down to understand properly before typing. They are always in a hurry to post a comment and when you check out their lives in the real world, they are full of mistakes here and there just cos they are not patient to analyze issues before forming an opinion.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by seunak2016: 11:46pm On Feb 16
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
so because children bear father names means what?apart from bearing father name ,let me tell you because you are kid, woman enjoy children more than father. the truth is before they give their father anything, they must have given their mother a lot. do your research on that and confirm. May God help all those father too.

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by BRATISLAVA: 11:47pm On Feb 16
SBL28:
I'm a woman and I blame the mother of those kids. I'm not saying the man should not step up o but I don't understand why a woman would pack out of her husband's house and leave her children behind!

She obviously does not love the children. So she's eating and sleeping comfortably somewhere knowing she left her little children behind? That is a terrible terrible mother, she does not even deserve that title.

The one I hate the most is when women remarry and take the child(ren) from their previous marriage to live with aunties or grandparents. That is never happening with me, you love me, you must love my children too. Na package deal, buy one get two free!

So it's not the man's responsibility to love his children? Just the wife's?
Explain to us more the unimportance of fatherhood and yet it's demanding benefits from the world. Have you seen the number of children whose fathers abandoned them? If you did, you will know that fathers have a role in parenting. The excuses made for them are just that-excuses

5 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Deepthoughts: 11:49pm On Feb 16
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
lady mind you when things were good the man was responsible but things just went bad beyond his control, it's not that he never cared about his wife when I things were fine with him, don't tell me you are a fare whether character.
lloyds:


My mother stayed with my father for over 12years when they man was starkly broke. she even sponsored me to post graduate school becauae my father couldn't afford it.

Yet she kneels down to greet him attimes, we can't see such virtues in our microwave ladies of now a days. . They are so materialistic and shallow.
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
lady mind you when things were good the man was responsible but things just went bad beyond his control, it's not that he never cared about his wife when I things were fine with him, don't tell me you are a fare whether character.please how was your mother able to sponsor you when your father couldn't n they were married?

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by pacespot: 11:49pm On Feb 16
Nothing surprises me in this world again because even my life is full of surprises. People take fun in castigating women in Africa a lot, but for every act of infidelity committed by a women, there is at least a man involved.

Nigerian men are terrible at dealing with one another, they should fix this problem first before talking about their women. It is unlike this in advanced worlds, men tend to orchestrate and boss over every event around them even though there is a high level of protection over women in those countries. In the course of my years of working with White people, I've built a far better and more productive relationship with White men than their women, but reverse is the case in Nigeria. Women are even smoother to work with in Nigeria than men.

Nigerian men should fix these fundamental problems they have rather than talking about women.

6 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by benratigan3(m): 11:49pm On Feb 16
implementing:
woman wrapper, aren't you disgusted by what they said up there? this forum is just fvcked up, the woman left all the responsibility to the man instead of her to join him in finding a solution likes it's his fault shit happens baa, that's if you're not a woman using a mans moniker cos men will know this is bias and they're busy shouting gender equality
you that have sense,what kind of a responsible man brings his kid to a brothel? e no get family? no this forum isn't fvcked up,you ARE FVCKED UP.did I exonerate the woman?
I gave you assignment, define feminism? if you can't,keep off my mention

7 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by OkpaNsukkaisBae(m): 11:50pm On Feb 16
YungJo207:
If you follow this thread today as a man/guy and you still wonder why so many Nigeria girls/ladies today are still single then you are also a problem Nigeria have....



ayam telling you.
how guys end up with this type of women is what i don't know!

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by abbey621(m): 11:51pm On Feb 16
NonEthniCITY:


If only we can predict how long our "rainy day" could last for in all instances, that would have been great. There are rain that falls for one day, there are some that continuously fall for several days at a time.

Save for rainy day, yes, but don't be so quick to assume many who are suffering today did not save anything for their own rainy day. Life happens!

Savings encompases many things, don't just put your money in the bank but diversify. Investing in real estate, fixed deposit, stocks etc. The reason lots of white families survive even after a disaster is because they have the gift of foresight. Even when all else fails, purchase life insurance. May we never encounter hard times that would make our children sleep inside brothels....Amen!

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Unrated900(m): 11:55pm On Feb 16
OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:

The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?





Our ladies this days cannot emulate when the likes of iPhone 7 8 10 and Pro Max is around the corner and every ladies want to acquire Samsung water resistance
Where-as our mothers then only send signals through bird to their husband.
My brother my advise to people is that rich people don’t give birth more than 2
But the poor man always gives birth to 3 and 5 and 6
They will say every child comes to the world with what they will eat.
Where-as they have failed like the lifeless man

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Deepthoughts: 11:57pm On Feb 16
Nooil:


Abeg leave that thing. When men see beautiful women, they throw their brain into the ocean.

But one thing they don't know is that to keep a beautiful woman you have to be prepared to work all the days of your life even at old age.

If you don't do your job, another man (alhaji) will carry them sharp sharp. Let him go and look for work, at least the face of the fine kids should encourage him.
Aunty continue you hear,go de follow alhaji you hear,safe journey!.

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Unrated900(m): 11:57pm On Feb 16
Our ladies this days cannot emulate when the likes of iPhone 7 8 10 and Pro Max is around the corner and every ladies want to acquire Samsung water resistance
Where-as our mothers then only send signals through bird to their husband.
My brother my advise to people is that rich people don’t give birth more than 2
But the poor man always gives birth to 3 and 5 and 6
They will say every child comes to the world with what they will eat.
Where-as they have failed like the lifeless man
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Bahddo(m): 11:57pm On Feb 16
Ganjafama:
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.
it's actually womanly. The true nature of women is to love their children and hate other people's children (to the point of extreme physical abuse). It usually starts with verbal abuse. She's just expressing her own hate for all kids that aren't hers.

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Unrated900(m): 12:00am On Feb 17
LadySarah:


Focus on the problem Mr!
Was it the woman that ejected this man or stopped him from going to make provision for his kids?

Men blame women for everything.
Do you know that some children in Orphanages have living fathers who claimed they can't take care of them? The work you are claiming busy with, are their not mothers there?

Children need the love of their parents while one is absent the other should do it. We don't have two heads






Curse is every man who cannot provide for his family

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Unrated900(m): 12:00am On Feb 17
Cursed is any man who cannot provide food for his family

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by BRATISLAVA: 12:01am On Feb 17
Koralords:

Speak for yourself have a lot of experience where the woman left cos husband went broke ,
My aunt left her 5 kids here in naija to go marry another man in the USA

Don't men abandon their families all the time? Why is it such a huge issue when women do it? Is it only men who can be irresponsible, enjoying life to reap the benefits when the children are grown, after their partner has struggled to do it alone? Why can't men take care of their children? Or are they simply sperm donors?

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by slyfoxxjoe(m): 12:03am On Feb 17
taylor89:
Such is life bro


After what I went through years back from a horrible ex I came to a conclusion that it's only ur parents and siblings that truly loves u genuinely that's why I can never trade their love for a pvssy I didn't know its next owner


Life is so unfair, these kind of adulterous women hardly contact HIV, but cool dude that has been celibate for years now will just hit one night stand now, Boom HIV go show himself
Your first point is very true. I always remind people that your spouse is the only family member you are not related to by blood. That’s why I laugh at people that carry marriage on their head like it’s the be all in life.

No husband or wife can love you and have your interest at heart like your mother, father, siblings and your children. If doubt me then just wait till you hit rock bottom in this life like the man in this story and see who stands by you till the bitter end. Your wife or your blood relatives.

Most marriages these days are for convenience and nothing more.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by implementing: 12:03am On Feb 17
benratigan3:

you that have sense,what kind of a responsible man brings his kid to a brothel? e no get family? no this forum isn't fvcked up,you ARE FVCKED UP.did I exonerate the woman?
I gave you assignment, define feminism? if you can't,keep off my mention
you're the one who mentioned me in the first place idiot, you're just a lady hiding under man moniker, and if you're a man then I'm sorry for you bro, you go dey alright, now go and keep being the woman wrapper you are..you worthless piece of crap and don't mention me again cos I didn't mention you..shame

People like you are the nuisance that constitutes the society today, stay off my mentions and don't quote me again cos na you start am

All these small small boys in this forum cos you get free data

Modified

Looking at your profile self I know say you na woman wrapper cos you put your number up asking people to chat you hahaha grin

Senseless piece of shyt angry

6 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Unrated900(m): 12:04am On Feb 17
chronique:


I swear! Too many daft and stupid people on this forum. Every little thing, they turn it to a them vs us argument(both men and women guilty of this). They never calm down to understand properly before typing. They are always in a hurry to post a comment and when you check out their lives in the real world, they are full of mistakes here and there just cos they are not patient to analyze issues before forming an opinion.



You have forgotten to add that 60% of people who comments on Nairaland are teenagers
Hence their typing and compositions are at the back f their brain.
Op was only given an instance to what is happening and may be what is to happen if marriage comes into places for some
Unprepared morons

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by OkpaNsukkaisBae(m): 12:07am On Feb 17
4xplore:


Who go marry this [/s]old cargo[s] [/i] evening newspaper[i] ? Lol. Person wen don open nairaland account since 2006, you can imagine how old she is now...



evening newspaper is the appropriate term.
old cargo?...well maybe it should serve as a synonym.

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Localsex: 12:09am On Feb 17
Localsex:


Can you imagine?
These men truly believe the woman is responsible for raising the man's offspring. If the woman is indisposed, then her own family must step up and fill in for her. As if the kids are bearing the woman's name.
Meanwhile the men and their families will relax till the kids are grown before they come to claim the kids. Bunch of cowards.
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by lloyds(m): 12:17am On Feb 17
benratigan3:

most marry for the love ,but when their lover's love is lost? what next......?

Well, you honestly have a point.
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Coolcalmcollect(m): 12:17am On Feb 17
taylor89:
Such is life bro


After what I went through years back from a horrible ex I came to a conclusion that it's only ur parents and siblings that truly loves u genuinely that's why I can never trade their love for a pvssy I didn't know its next owner


Life is so unfair, these kind of adulterous women hardly contact HIV, but cool dude that has been celibate for years now will just hit one night stand now, Boom HIV go show himself
lol your parent and siblings love you bah, travel out first and be sending money home for them to help build yoy a house before you conclude on family love bro

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Illuminated993(m): 12:18am On Feb 17
All women exhibit high level selfish traits. No woman is exempted, not even our mothers. This is the knowledge "game" takes advantage of. In game, we understand the affinity between women and men they consider valuable. So what do we do? We improve ourselves and keep improving ourselves in whatever way we can; we tell the women what they want to hear, not necessarily the truth. Women can't cope with the truth.
crackkhaus:

Deep cool

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Okwyjesus(m): 12:23am On Feb 17
crackkhaus:

Deep cool

Very deep bro

But some are indefinable wonderful like my wife.

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by wany(f): 12:23am On Feb 17
dominique:


So basically, the only parent that should be making sacrifices for the kids is the mother. So what exactly should the father be responsible for apart from the finances? Even the financial responsibility sef is being shared by the mother these days. You call yourselves the head of the family yet it's your wives' efforts holding your family together. Once the wife is fed up, packs and leave, most of them become a mess. See the one taking little kids to a lewd hotel of all places. He's now concocting stories about how his wife left him to gain sympathy since we cannot hear the wife's side of the story. Women hardly leave because their husbands suddenly got broke, they leave after they've been frustrated by their broke husbands.
Puting up with a broke guy is the worst thing that can happen to any woman,his frustration is on you,toxic character,aggression,drunkenness need I mention more.hear the woman side make you fear fear. kiss

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by mtinfx: 12:24am On Feb 17
Ganjafama:
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.


Lol by their language. RUN

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Starz825(m): 12:26am On Feb 17
benratigan3:

did I exonerate her ? men who leave their kids as narrated on this platform, would you say same?
Fine i realized I sometimes sound like I detest women and I'm quick to judge them....but nah...I am only against inhumane acts be it from a man or a woman
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by chiedozie198100: 12:26am On Feb 17
Ganjafama:
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.

u nailed it "bloody kids"?

anybody that ends up with a woman like that is finished.

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by chubbyswit(m): 12:29am On Feb 17
Juliearth:






The second scenario is what happens when ladies get married with the wrong mindset and being overly expectant. Marriage is like a virgin farmland. You cultivate it into what you'd like it to be. Funny how some dont have the patience to do so. I can only hope that help comes his way soon enough before that innocent girl is abused. A bar is not a place for kids.
This comment of yours is oozing with wisdom, may God bless you and keep you seperated from these bunch of confused feminist women. Anything good your heart desires, God will grant them to you.

3 Likes

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