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Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler - Family - Nairaland

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Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Ouchbabe(f): 11:02pm On Feb 17
Pls my fellow Nairalanders,

I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.

He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.

The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.

Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.

Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.

Please move to front page for wider view

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Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Gwagone: 11:08pm On Feb 17
You shouldn't be putting pressure on yourself like this
Can you monitor his movements maybe once or twice with caution
Don't react when you notice anything

92 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by austyn0(m): 11:14pm On Feb 17
Firstly, I am sorry you are passing through such but hope you don't mind me asking if you didn't see this "staying out late at night" habit before you married him?

278 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by bigiyaro(m): 11:16pm On Feb 17
madam, just focus on your children, old age will calm him down.

430 Likes 21 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Tim16(m): 11:30pm On Feb 17
Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

365 Likes 30 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by HarunaWest(m): 11:30pm On Feb 17
His own is even better than mine...Me I may stay at home for one full month or above that. i.e from work to house then next day work again...But the day I will decide to do yawo with them Boyz...She won't see me for 2-3 days straight..I can't come and go and kill maself...

66 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Jacqueline22(f): 11:42pm On Feb 17
HarunaWest:
His own is even better than mine...Me I may stay at home for one full month or above that. i.e from work to house then next day work again...But the day I will decide to do yawo with them Boyz...She won't see me for 2-3 days straight..I can't come and go and kill maself...
Are you for real? You might be joking sha. I know you can’t do such.

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Bluntguy: 11:42pm On Feb 17
Wahala dey o. The only thing that is constant is change. Pray for him. He will change.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:22am On Feb 18
after 8yrs being with such man, i suggest you accept his way of life. and dont worry, midnight certainly aint late.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Nobody: 12:23am On Feb 18
austyn0:
Firstly, I am sorry you are passing through such but hope you don't mind me asking if you didn't see this "staying out late at night" habit before you married him?
This your question get as e be o. It seems somewhat baseless.

78 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Sixfeetbelle(f): 1:33am On Feb 18
austyn0:
Firstly, I am sorry you are passing through such but hope you don't mind me asking if you didn't see this "staying out late at night" habit before you married him?

Your question arises from the fact that you don't know people change?

They have been married for 8 years. In that span of time, the man in question may have changed job twice or more, met a new circle of friends through being a dad, and this 'night crawler' attitude sprung up from such changes in his life.

Op, I don't know how to advise you sha, except to sit him down one day, calmly explain to him your fears (use evidence from news websites to support your argument) and then leave him be. Don't use worry and give yourself high blood pressure.

I've tok my own finish.

52 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by PatrioticNaija: 4:36am On Feb 18
You don't nag, but you're putting up your husband on Nairaland for public discussions... you may as well crawl out with him

44 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by femi4: 5:42am On Feb 18
Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view
He's idle ...get him a job asap. You cant be outside till 12am when you know you have to be at work later in the day

177 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by EVILFOREST: 5:46am On Feb 18
Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view
IF YOU GIVE every lady an OPPORTUNITY, they would want to put their HUSBANDS inside a BOTTLE, lock them up, and monitor them from the outside.

Even a 90 year old LADY fears her husband would dump her someday.

165 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by EVILFOREST: 5:49am On Feb 18
rex444:
he can be coming back early na ...like 1am or 2am sef.... madam keep quiet ,no use children as your excuse . what do you want him to be doing at home with a boring lady that cannot come up with a healthy conversation but nags.... let him be
U are not FAR from the TRUTH.
A MAN rarely runs away from an INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION.
Don't be shocked to hear that she competes with the same HUSBAND for T. V. REMOTE

82 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Bugatie(m): 5:53am On Feb 18
Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

Just what if this man only hangs out with friends and doesnt engage in all you wrote there, imagine the seed you have planted in this young ladies head.

Thats why I dont support all this online request for hope because you'll end up leaving with bigger problems.

@op, I'll advise you engage him in a heart to heart talk, not as he comes back from his night crawl but in the morning, remind him of the dangers of keeping late night, safety issues and how much the kids stay awake to see him, etc. If he's the reasonable type, I'm sure he will change.

Be careful of the advise you take from here especially the ones suggesting hotels and prostitutes.

#Peace.

267 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Kobicove(m): 6:12am On Feb 18
At what time does he leave home to go hang out?

In the morning or late in the evening?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Parrie(m): 6:40am On Feb 18
lock him inside for 2 week

8 Likes

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Bola146(f): 6:49am On Feb 18
My dear sister, kindly hold his hands and pray for him... find a quiet time to talk to him... let him know you are not happy. He will change by God's grace

19 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by blackjack21(m): 6:50am On Feb 18
Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view

I wonder if does he stays home in the day and go out at night, or he only goes out in the evening and come back late?

1 Like

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Randy100: 6:52am On Feb 18
You are the only person that can keep your husband at home. So change.

13 Likes

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by ednut1(m): 7:01am On Feb 18
This marriage of a thing self

17 Likes

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by NYSCrunz(m): 7:18am On Feb 18
OP I like the way you expressed your displeasure at your husband's late homecoming. It shows you don't nag. If you continue to apply such wisdom, your husband will definitely change for the better

37 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Tallesty1(m): 7:36am On Feb 18
Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN
The way some of you jump to conclusions is just annoying. The first thing you're supposed to do is ask questions.

When does he leave home?

Does he stay at home all day and then leave in the evening?

Is it everyday habit.

But no, you Mr know it all already know everything so you quickly concluded and called someone's husband a very very irresponsible man even when the woman clearly stated the man is is nice and caring

Do you know what it means when a Nigeria woman says that a man is nice and caring?

Have you ever seen a woman admit that she's at fault when a relationship is having issues? It is always the man.

@OP If your husband stays at home when you're away and leaves the moment you come back, then something is wrong.

Secondly, not having a job means he's always at home so if he stays at home all day and only leaves at night then it could also mean he takes care of the house in your absence and only stretches his legs at night. People do it.

You also failed to tell us if this is an every day activity so we can only suggest.

91 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Heistman: 7:39am On Feb 18
Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly...


I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN
common! This is pure nonsense, were u dia tracking his movement for u to have concluded he's irresponsible and fucking around? ,you're a big fool sir.. that's how one useless pastor in my area back then when I was still in school told my mum to be prayerful cos He saw vision I'm a cultist because I'm an introvert and hardly relate with people grin cheesy

119 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by Conner44: 7:43am On Feb 18
Hmm careful with the way you throw words here. Indomie kids abound and they think the name ‘night crawler’ is one for a member of the Marvels film X-MEN lol

If your hubby takes so much time to get home then it means he’s running away from something(s) in his house eg. you, the kid(s), bills, visitor e.t.c if a man is unhappy in his on home he would do all he can to keep away for as long as possible, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s irresponsible.

Find out which and you’d know how to start solving your problems ... a nagging/bad wife is the number one cause of men staying out late, sidechicks take second place.

20 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by mytime24(f): 7:50am On Feb 18
Midnight doctor
Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by DaHrNn0001: 8:13am On Feb 18
Well,i used to have someone like that as a friend and the wife was equally worried but after much talking and talking and she's likewise extremely calm... 2 things she did was.... prayer and she was smart to tell him to invite the friends over to the house,buy the booze and make food for them and his friends saw she was a very good woman that doesn't it deserve what her husband does,they started talking to him likewise and gradually the keep late night only Friday till now... Different strokes for different folks anyways

61 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by generationz(f): 9:06am On Feb 18
It just takes one terrible betrayal from those friends to reset his brain and make him put his family first.

I've seen this time and again.

With this type of lifestyle, when he has a job it's very likely he will cheat.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by generationz(f): 9:08am On Feb 18
Conner44:
Hmm careful with the way you throw words here. Indomie kids abound and they think the name ‘night crawler’ is one for a member of the Marvels film X-MEN lol

If your hubby takes so much time to get home then it means he’s running away from something(s) in his house eg. you, the kid(s), bills, visitor e.t.c

Find out which and you’d know how to start solving your problems ... a nagging/bad wife is the number one cause of men staying out late, sidechicks take second place.

3 Likes

Re: Help! My Husband Is A Night Crawler by magkhan(f): 9:12am On Feb 18
OP,

You don't know the internal battles he is facing as an unemployed person/father/husband. Allow him unwind as he see fit. He is an adult. You said he is caring, so let him be please.

Probably when he get's the job it might reduce.

Use the alone time to relax for the next day hustle.

Be at peace.

34 Likes 3 Shares

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