Calling someone ‘a big fool’ is so uncool. Baba, let’s learn to soft pedal on how we abuse/rain causes on ourselves in this part of the world. Have a nice day.

Heistman:
common! This is pure nonsense, were u dia tracking his movement for u to have concluded he's irresponsible and fucking around? ,you're a big fool sir.. that's how one useless pastor in my area back then when I was still in school told my mum to be prayerful cos He saw vision I'm a cultist because I'm an introvert and hardly relate with people

Please pray he doesn't get a job. If he does he is going to abandon you and Children.

Nice and caring ain't reason enough to marry a man

Just like a girl told my friend back then

LOVE IS NOT ALL THAT MATTERS IN MARRIAGE SHE SAID

MARRY UR BUDDY....TAKE TIME AND DEVELOPE YOUR SELVES TO BEST FRIENDS THEN GET MARRIED

NOW YOU POINTING OUT YOU'RE NOT NAGGING AND YOU LOOK GOOD BECAUSE automatically THE SOCIETY THINKS YOU MIGHT BE THE CAUSE OF HIM NOT COMING HOME BECAUSE YOUR MIGHT BE NAGGING OR NOT LOOKING AFTER YOUR SELF ANYMORE

WHEN YOU MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND HERE IS THE BENEFITS

1. HE DOESN'T CONSIDER HIM SELF ALPHA MALE

2. HE NEVER GETS TIRED OF YOU

3. HE ALWAYS RUSHING HOME TO GOSSIP WITH YOU ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED FOR THE DAY BEFORE HE FORGETS ANYTHING INTRESTING

4. HE COOKS, SWEEPS, AND DO WORKS CONSIDERED A WOMAN THING TO DO

5. IF HE STAYS LATE NIGHT LIKE THIS ALL YOU GOT TO DO AS TELL HIM ABOUT IT AND NAK HIM FRYING PAN FOR HEAD....AND HE WON'T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS THAT YOU'RE FIGHTING

MARRIAGE IS MOSTLY THE LARGE PERCENT OF YOUR WHOLE LIFE IF YOU GETS TO BE ALIVE....DON'T GO IN TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN ALONE WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS STILL ALIVE

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

You quickly believed what she said at bolded and concluded thus. Now to the reality, how many African women being the breadwinner of the family easily maintain calm? Even most men who have full housewife sometimes unconsciously complain of their wife of not keeping the house tidy enough as that is their only job. Secondly, I am yet to see a nagging woman acknowledging that act. Let's assume none of the mentioned is obtainable here. Do you know how it feels for a man to remain idle & watch his rule shifted to his wife all because of joblessness?! He could have just leave home to job hunt or just a way of appearing to be hustling instead of just seating at home without the sign of making effort. Tell the man to always come home early or not to even leave home when he got no job hunting. And see the same woman come here with a different title: how to make an unsupportive man become more financially responsible or at least make efforts.

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

will you keep quiet people like you have PHD in breaking marriages .Do you know why he keeps late ? Don't just jump into conclusion ,sometimes we men like to hang around certain friends when we find ourselves in situations like this .These days the only way to see some busy friends is at night at these places they cool off after work .Just pray he finds a job soon .Dont blame him yet these keeping late might be his only way of meeting his real contacts that can help him out of this situation also it might be the way he can get little financial assistance while job hunting (transport fare and little pocket change ) it is well

WHAT HE NEEDS IS A JOB OR WORK THAT BRINGS HIM MONEY!THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT GIVES HIM THE CONFIDENCE TO RELAX AT HOME WITH THE FAMILY! ESPECIALLY THE KIDS WHO WONT STOP ASKING DADDY FOR LITTLE THINGS THAT HE HAS TO BUY WITH MONEY!!

Ouchbabe, it would be difficult to give a good advice without understanding the full context of things.
When did his attitude of staying out late start? Is it after he lost his job? If it is, then think it is as a result of the job loss. Maybe he can't stand being the man of the house and not being able to provide for his family instead having to rely on his wife for means of sustainance and how he tries to cope with that is by making himself unavailable to at least make it look like he is occupied with something. I know you might not see it this way. But you should understand that men have their egos and have different ways of dealing with when it is down.
Another thing that I would advise is for you to know the kind of friends he is going out with and if you talking terms with them, you should try and make known your displeasure about his attitude to them in a respectful manner. If his friends are responsible, they will talk sense to him. They major thing that he needs is a sense of purpose and responsibility.

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

The same HIV/AIDS that killed your aunt and her husband kill you dia.
Mumu wey dey only live for pu,say.
You senseless bastard.

madam was he like this when he had job?? if no try contacting the said friends he hangs out wit and talk to them about ur concerns for ur husband and see if they can convince him....as a man been jobless could drive a man naught....the thought of not always providing for the children could be very shameful ...so just see if u can talk to the friends

EVILFOREST:

U are not FAR from the TRUTH.
A MAN rarely runs away from an INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION.
Don't be shocked to hear that she competes with the same HUSBAND for T. V. REMOTE

So insensitive!!

Bugatie:


Just what if this man only hangs out with friends and doesnt engage in all you wrote there, imagine the seed you have planted in this young ladies head.

Thats why I dont support all this online request for hope because you'll end up leaving with bigger problems.

@op, I'll advise you engage him in a heart to heart talk, not as he comes back from his night crawl but in the morning, remind him of the dangers of keeping late night, safety issues and how much the kids stay awake to see him, etc. If he's the reasonable type, I'm sure he will change.

Be careful of the advise you take from here especially the ones suggesting hotels and prostitutes.

#Peace.

Don't mind the pusay niccur...

Bugatie:


Just what if this man only hangs out with friends and doesnt engage in all you wrote there, imagine the seed you have planted in this young ladies head.

Thats why I dont support all this online request for hope because you'll end up leaving with bigger problems.

@op, I'll advise you engage him in a heart to heart talk, not as he comes back from his night crawl but in the morning, remind him of the dangers of keeping late night, safety issues and how much the kids stay awake to see him, etc. If he's the reasonable type, I'm sure he will change.

Be careful of the advise you take from here especially the ones suggesting hotels and prostitutes.

#Peace.

Its so easy especially for ladies to INSULT another woman's husband�,imagine adding salt to an open wound!!

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

You don't just conclude issues this way my friend. That you know that your aunt's husband was promiscuous doesn't mean another is. What if he was ashamed of looking at his wife's face for being the bread winner of the house presently? Not all men are comfortable seeing their responsibilities being carried out by their wives. Have a heart to heart conversation with him and even arrange to go with him once or twice just to gain his trust. While out with him and his friends, (that's if he agrees to take you along) Tell him it's time to go home in a very cool manner.

He'll come around. Trust God and yourself.

Am not married yet,but with my nature I like the night life a lot.started way back in the uni.i like coming home very late cus I wanna see the street life of Lagos.
If I get married,I pray I change,cus it's gonna be a problem to me and my wife

Tim16:
Your inborn foolishness and stupidity is what has brought this huge backwardness to your family, even TB Joshua can not break your curse. Smelling pig

naso e pain u reach? See u barking incoherently like a dog..Foolish fool

olisaEze:
He probably leaves home in the evenings right? And he’s probably hanging out with other guys that don’t usually work a 9 to 5. Let him be, as hard as it may be. He’s trying to figure out a way forward for himself. Coupled with the probability that right now, he doesn’t want to seat in one place alone feeling sorry for himself for not being able to provide as he would like for his family. Just let him be, he’ll change as soon as things pick up for him in the job department. U might not be nagging him, but ur body language speaks volumes because u think u know how he should be behaving right now. Believe me, u have no idea what that man is going thru @ the moment.

Very true... most men go through things they would rather not say. So as not to appear a weaker vessel. She should let him be. I pray by the grace of God that he finds his big break. I am positive that he would stop the late nights.

Pray for him God will arrest his soul, in this particular situation I'm not sure he can listen to your advice on that

The number of posts supporting his irresponsible actions. The number of posts asking her to ignore his behavior, pray for him, wait until he gets old and tired, beg him, bla bla bla. Sigh

Meanwhile who will be providing for everyone,raising the children, keeping the home and taking care of him as well while he hops about town bringing nothing to the home. Her I suppose . Right?

There’s a reason why I have little sympathy for NL men.

Tim16:
Birds of the same feather flocks together. OP, the above person lives same life of your husband.

If the wife who lives with him can see that something is not right with her husband's habit then who are you to defend him whom you haven't seen before and start throwing childish questions to the OP as if she was drunk when she wrote all these? Nairaland with too many professors and keypad warriors

if you continue like this then you're going to be a perpetual victim of one side of the story.




The OP thinks something is not right....... Right in whose perspective? Her? Him? Everybody?


If you live in a place where all man is back in his hut with his family by 7pm. That is right, normal.

But if you live in a city where nightlife thrives, you will see that coming home by 12 is normal. Their normal but for you, it's abnormal.




By the way, an adage says that a man who eats without asking questions dies without falling sick.

Please madam don’t kill the young man, is not easy to be Jobless; at times when a man cannot provide for his family he feel less of a man. Men cry too be calm and very gentle if not he will interpret your little complaint as a result of him being Jobless. Be calm beat him with your good character. God bless u

elmagnifico411:
Calling someone ‘a big fool’ is so uncool. Baba, let’s learn to soft pedal on how we abuse/rain causes on ourselves in this part of the world. Have a nice day.

thanks sir, I understand...but still it doesn't make sense to just go about poisoning people's mind with what u are unsure of..

So vampires dey lagos

Gwagone:

And you think you have advice her

Check my profile very well I don't know comment on marital issues cos I have mine to contend with, but you see this bullshit you adviced her to do ehh!! Stop it. Change your mindset this is 2020.

Gwagone:

And you think you have advice her

Let me even ask you, if as a married man and your wife monitors your movements will you like it? Capital NO. But you're advising her to do it to another person abi?

Some men cannot do without bro time.

magkhan:
OP,

You don't know the internal battles he is facing as an unemployed person/father/husband. Allow him unwind as he see fit. He is an adult. You said he is caring, so let him be please.

Probably when he get's the job it might reduce.

Use the alone time to relax for the next day hustle.

Be at peace.

Spot on. I like you for this

sister pls calm ur mind, the guy was always at the vendor spot reading news and argue politice to keep his self from thinking, i was once in that same position, but thank almight Allah today, just calm urself sister.

Bugatie:


Just what if this man only hangs out with friends and doesnt engage in all you wrote there, imagine the seed you have planted in this young ladies head.

Thats why I dont support all this online request for hope because you'll end up leaving with bigger problems.

@op, I'll advise you engage him in a heart to heart talk, not as he comes back from his night crawl but in the morning, remind him of the dangers of keeping late night, safety issues and how much the kids stay awake to see him, etc. If he's the reasonable type, I'm sure he will change.

Be careful of the advise you take from here especially the ones suggesting hotels and prostitutes.

#Peace.

You have spoken sense.

Av just been seeing home wreckers trying to destroy another home with their family issues