Michellekabod2:
1) not ready for commitment such as marriage. Let me try the dating world(even if its one year) to know how it feels like before marriage.
2)Fear!Fear!Fear! Fear of commitment.
3)I will be floating on contentment and I want an inferno of passion.

Shiorrrr

Orubebe01:
What's your reason (s) cos I know many of them, not that men are not coming but don't really know why. So ladies, this thread is for you. Why are you rejecting suitors?

Some men are the reasons ladies reject their marriage proposal.

How can you wake up one morning and walk straight to a lady's house to meet her parents just to seek for their daughter's hand in marriage when you don't even have a prior relationship going on with the said lady; isn't that madness

Men must understand that we are no longer in the 1980s or 70s or even 1990s where you don't need to court a lady or be her friend to ask her to marry you maybe through her parents and she accepts; ladies of our time are now educated, informed, ambitious, empowered and even wild to do that crap with them today. We must learn to let the past be in the past and accept the current situation.

Again, how can a guy meet a lady today and tomorrow you are already asking her to marry you, let's be honest, how many sane thinking guys can accept to even date a lady that just walks up to them and say I like you, I want you to be my boyfriend, talk more of a lifetime commitment like marriage We must put ourselves in the shoes of ladies to also understand their plight; they are informed and enlightened humans like us with blood flowing in their vein. A lady needs to know you before she can accept to walk down that aisle with you; I don't mean knowing for decades, but at least 6 months and above of committed courtship should be enough to know each other and make a decision.

This also goes out to all those guys that wake up one day to take their girlfriend to one shopping mall or public place and then box her into one corner with that nonsense trending thing they call proposal of "will you marry me" in the preying eyes of everyone without giving her a hint of your intention or without first reading her mind and preparing her mind for lifetime commitment through words, questions and stuffs like that, and you just wake up one morning and gather your foolish friends in one hotel or mall or anywhere and start to form Mr Romantic that want to also trend, I don't blame you dumb guys sha, I blame the ladies who squirt at this stupidity instead of giving you guys a big knock on the head



I love using myself as example, before I got married, I knew who I was going to marry, and I knew she was already longing to be my wife too.....though they were kind of many longing for that, but I had one particular friend in mind whom I knew for sure was longing for me to take the bold step....I didn't even do all those crap of will you marry me.....I just asked her to pick best date for me to go meet with her family, and that was it. All the friends I have, except one dull one, none was rejected by any lady that I am aware of.....and don't think its because they are financially stable or something, no....its far from financial buoyancy, it has more to do with being reasonable....being in charge of your life and emotion....respecting other people (ladies) and their emotion....and being smart enough to know who desires you and who doesn't, because no matter how rich you are or how handsome you look, there is or there are ladies that will still reject your marriage proposal for several reasons.

Their reason could be fear that you are too rich for her; my sister rejected her first suitor for this reason lol. It could be that you are too handsome and classy; a lady friend once told me jokingly that she would have loved to date me if not that I am a perfectionist, and that I love class too much, even though it was a joke, I read the meaning and never made attempt to ask her out.....but some guys will see the red signals staring at them and still try to ridicule themselves. Some ladies can reject you for being too righteous and religious; a lady told a very good friend this despite that the guy had the job every lady wishes her husband to have.....some will reject you for being too tall, too short, etc...and we can't blame them because we men too don't go about asking every lady we see to marry us....we also have preference; some guys will never marry a lady with small or flat ass, while some guys don't like marrying ladies with big ass, some guys prefer light skin complexioned ladies, while some prefer them dark skin or chocolate.....some guys will never marry a lady that earns more than them, while some guys prefer to marry ladies earning more than them....some guys prefer to marry ladies from poor family background, while some guys will never marry any lady that is not from a rich family...some prefer to marry ladies with only SSCE, while some guys will never marry a lady that does not have a second degree like Msc.


In as much as we condemn some ladies who reject marriage proposals or suitors or even dates for no justifiable reason, we can only rant online and maybe offline, but we cannot do much and we cannot force ladies to accept just any guy that come asking their hand in marriage because we guys wouldn't accept just any lady that asks us to marry them too

Ivebeenbanned:

Two mumus came together, had sex and made you. Pour your frustrations everywhere. You go heal

Your mama smelling Toto. Stupid thang..

Most times, the suitors doesn't have the qualities we look out for. quote author=Orubebe01 post=86765019]What's your reason (s) cos I know many of them, not that men are not coming but don't really know why. So ladies, this thread is for you. Why are you rejecting suitors?[/quote]

Nothing serious though..if u r not attracted to d person u can't fake d love

Austineva:
u don't know me and I don't know u, and to make matter worst, I did not quote u. How come scam? Hmm! Do u think everybody is as dubious as u? Because, a scammer and a dubious person always think that everybody is like him/her. I am not a scammer nor a deceiver. Just that I like making friends. Smh! Am short of words. But don't worry, its God that has all judgments. He will judge u and me if not now certainly later

... LMAO.. you don't need God to judge anything. I thought wrong that's all .. since you were clamouring to be friends with her like your life depends on it was what I found rather confusing that there has to be a ulterior motive to what you were doing

XhosaNostra:


Where did you learn the language of my forebearers?

Xhosa where have you been?


It is ladyhippolyta88

biGDhAp:
.. you just might end up being the source of that money.. who knows

you mean?

sharone21:


But the PLAYERS are MORE....Unserious....Later, you may hear they married.....Sometimes you start hearing quarrellings etc if one puts her ears down due to the type of person the man is.....Sometimes again, it works fine.

For good ladies, they may seem to be a little bit more picky in order not to ruin their 'programmed' life or how they want their life to be, particularly free from a STRESSFUL man as many Nigerian men get OVERSABI and may choose to use it adversely, instead of positively for the good of his wife and home.
It takes 2 'FOOLS' to live SUCCESSFULLY.

Word

sharone21:


But the PLAYERS are MORE....Unserious....Later, you may hear they married.....Sometimes you start hearing quarrellings etc if one puts her ears down due to the type of person the man is.....Sometimes again, it works fine.

For good ladies, they may seem to be a little bit more picky in order not to ruin their 'programmed' life or how they want their life to be, particularly free from a STRESSFUL man as many Nigerian men get OVERSABI and may choose to use it adversely, instead of positively for the good of his wife and home.
It takes 2 'FOOLS' to live SUCCESSFULLY.

The only way for a girl to avoid being played by a player is to understand the Games of Relationship. Games majorly is based on deciet, greed and adventure. A guy who is a player is a guy without substance, Everything they do and act is based on years of Learning, the only way to recognize them is to understand who a player is. It is not an easy Job.
But this ladies most times concentrate on some generic advise they hear from sublings or the ones they see in the movies and many of them too play games but they aren't even good at it.

And I agree with you on how players don't maintain good relationship, you're right, that is the curse that follows who take life as a games. He keeps playing it and as you know you can't always be winning.

fatymore:
you mean?

.. don't worry

Juliearth:



should a man or woman marry a partner s(he) feels nothing for because age is not on her/his side? Isnt this one of the reasons why most marriages are failing and more would?

Hi Julie. We both know this isn't the scenario I meant. If a lady's so picky that she picked into 35. What happened with all the suitors she started turning down since 20-21? Do you Mean for 15 years she keeps meeting men who are the sole problem and she's absolved of any form of wrong the entire duration. This is the perspective the thread aims to understand


Cc XhosaNostra

Blu03

Lamanii22:
No reason per se... But if I'm not attracted to you, I wouldn't accept you.. Even if you have all the money... I believe in the law of attraction...

Nigerian ladies sha... What do you know about the law of attraction

XhosaNostra:


Looooool. I've met my own share of players. Nothing dey do me Let me explain something to you. Number one, someone cannot "use" me for sex because I don't put that much importance into it. I already know that's the prize most guys are playing for. If it happens & you lose interest afterwards or whatever, I don't care. It was consensual so no skin off my back. 2ndly, there're stages or layers to my emotional makeup. Rarely do I open up all the way or trust someone completely, so I'm ever prepared for an emotional ambush.

It's like dis...

The prize of a player in the Games isn't fixed but you're right most time is sex, But as the part of you talking you don't put much trust in people so if things goes south you're safe.
I wish you could meet my homies, they will take the games to the stage of proposing to you.

THE ONLY WAY TO WIN A GAME AGAINST A PLAYER IS NOT TO PLAY IT AT ALL. BUT IF YOU MUST, YOU SHOULD BE GOOD AT IT.

franchasng:
Some men are the reasons ladies reject their marriage proposal.

This also goes out to all those guys that wake up one day to take their girlfriend to one shopping mall or public place and then box her into one corner with that nonsense trending thing they call proposal of "will you marry me" in the preying eyes of everyone without giving her a hint of your intention or without first reading her mind and preparing her mind for lifetime commitment through words, questions and stuffs like that, and you just wake up one morning and gather your foolish friends in one hotel or mall or anywhere and start to form Mr Romantic that want to also trend, I don't blame you dumb guys sha, I blame the ladies who squirt at this stupidity instead of giving you guys a big knock on the head >:out.....bo

How you dey Francis.


I'll pick on just one part

Ladies wo reject guys cause he's a perfectionist ( I've suffered this alot ) so I don't show my work and character ethics publicly. Let's instruct to edify and not condemn. It's childish for a lady to turn down ( note, my use of word, a suitor and not a toaster ) for flimsy reasons like the kinds you mentioned, height, color and other flimsy reasons because marriage is a destinal issue. Handling decisions before,around and within relationships should be down with ones head on the body. Sometimes, the desire able isn't what the vessel reflects. We ought to encourage people to be more serious about their lies than exhibit vain attitudes like turning down suitors for flimsy reasons like the ones you mentioned in the latter part of your write-up.


Disclaimer - My daughter won't be comfortable around me by 23-25 if I've not started examining her suitors

stanliwise:
The only way for a girl to avoid being played by a player is to understand the Games of Relationship. Games majorly is based on deciet, greed and adventure. A guy who is a player is a guy without substance, Everything they do and act is based on years of Learning, the only way to recognize them is to understand who a player is. It is not an easy Job.
But this ladies most times concentrate on some generic advise they hear from sublings or the ones they see in the movies and many of them too play games but they aren't even good at it.

And I agree with you on how players don't maintain good relationship, you're right, that is the curse that follows who take life as a games. He keeps playing it and as you know you can't always be winning.

very true.

Slimranky:


Everything na gradual process,be patient because one of those toasters would graduate to your suitor, pikin wey dem born go first crawl before him go start to run

You cannot relax before you sleep,you have to sit before you relax....

Thank you

nick50:
..reality will soon dawn on you

Like it has dawned on you right,we should say yes to just anybody because we want to get married right?I'm not the overtly emotional type bro,i enjoy my own company.

Orubebe01:
What's your reason (s) cos I know many of them, not that men are not coming but don't really know why. So ladies, this thread is for you. Why are you rejecting suitors?

rejecting ke? Where d suitors?

AmazonHippolyta:


Xhosa where have you been?


It is ladyhippolyta88

Babes, where have you been? Been looking everywhere for you, wanting to wish you a happy belated. Hope you enjoyed it even if I missed it this time around
I was on vacation

[quote author=stanliwise post=86765917]Until you meet the players. .
We know your type.

Slow and steady and end up in your friend Zone abi??
Hard and broke, una go tear race.
But come rich(sweet mouth) and hard, una go start to shine teeth, Logic will go out the window.






You just nailed it Chief... Abeg which drink you dey take biko

First an for most I might be right or I might be wrong, what I ve observed is that women are emotionally beings. Not that men are not emotional but women are more emotional than men. They work with their instincts n when it comes to marriage it is the same thing. The woman must like a guy to a certain extent bf she agrees to ve a relationship with that man. I don't believe in love at first sight, cus love is nortured n grows over time. But if a woman doesn't like u she won't love u, ever! For them it is like that. If u entice her with money n she eventually marries the man, she might ve boyfriends outside her marriage and incase of any financial hiccup, boy she will leave ur ass. She won't even think of her children and staying for better or worse.

Wolgrace:
If so, you shouldn't be scared of marriage now as an adult. At your marriage-age now, kindly tell us the reasons for rejecting your suitors since your age-16 punk suitor is no longer valid in this interactive session.

I catch you lolz...

You want to put someone's daughter in trouble, nairalanders no dey smile at all they will finish me with their mouth abeg

Lamanii22:



I am the owner... To me, attraction matters. Y'all stop making marriage look like it is the ultimate.. Being single is not a curse..

dont mind them, singlesness is bae, come friend ourselves together in the singlesness.

XhosaNostra:
Not every man is a right fit. Some of us are very picky. Personally, I take time to warm up to new people or to decide whether I like someone romantically or not, so if someone comes on too strong from the very beginning, that may scare me off. Thus, turning them down. Slow & steady usually wins the race for me because I'm a thinker. I rationalize everything, include my feelings. Usually I have to "think" myself into liking someone, which doesn't happen overnight. In summary, being too much, too early will lead to a rejection.

I just met someone like you it been over 4 month now , from my observation ladies that sound like what you posted above are either HSDD or undiscovered lesbian
I am a man, even if a woman picks me she is not meant to decide the pace of the r/ship.
xhosa if you're dating a guy ... is it that u don't want him to make any romantic or sexual move until you feel like it or want it, or what ?? just asking maybe you can help me understand someone.

kushme:


Your mama smelling Toto. Stupid thang..

E pain am.