My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? - Family - Nairaland
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Does She Have A Right? / Help! My Wife Says She Doesn't Love Me Again & No More Sex From Her.... / It's Our Anniversary (2) (3) (4)
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| My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 2:27pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape. Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me. When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ). I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow. Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child. My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board. Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself. Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything. The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time. Am I overreacting to expect my wife to 1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed. 2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections. 3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary? 4. To at all time be the one making my meal. Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ). I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that? 94 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by sladimeji(m): 2:33pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
pray for her and always talk to her in ways you know she can listen 18 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Officialgarri: 2:38pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
This is the result of emotional blackmail. You have done nothing wrong. You have only asked your wife to be a wife. Posterity will look the other way when you decide to take a drastic step against her. 320 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Kendumazy(m): 2:41pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Marriage wahala again! May God help us. 30 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Mstick: 3:05pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Nairaland alfa mails your food is ready it contains the usual 1) he gives his wife money 2) she denies him sex 3) she doesn’t work Come and abuse OP’s wife, he has already laid her on a golden table for you guys. 112 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 3:12pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Mstick:Posts like this are not needed. I am running nuts here and you think it is a laughing matter. 332 Likes 9 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Foodqueen(f): 3:13pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Rapecase  Are you sure u didn't rape her the first time u met her  On a lighter note, what is marriage turning into sef 8 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 3:15pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Foodqueen:I created the username whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape. 41 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Nobody: 3:19pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Deleted 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Mstick: 3:21pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Oga if you’re running nuts like you claimed you wouldn’t add all the flimsy details about giving your wife money knowing fully well how much it triggers the boys on this forum, after all if you don’t give your wife money who will? I don’t understand why you need to add the “she practically doesn’t work” part if you really don’t want your wife to be insulted by kids on this forum. Your sex life is NOT anyone’s business and it’s also not for public consumption so why do you need to add that detail? If you feel your wife doesn’t love you, don’t you think she’s on the best position to answer that instead of exposing your family to ridiculous advice from never do wells? Rapecase: 85 Likes 13 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Nobody: 3:22pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Mstick: 7 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by yeyeosoronga: 3:22pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Get her to be more accountable to you, and even to herself. Help her get a loan for her business, under her own name. You can act as a guarantor, so that las las if she defaults on payment , you will bail her out but that will allow her know that she can jeopardise her credit worthiness. Allow people appreciate money, and don't make it seem as though it's so easy to get the money. She doesn't appreciate all you do because it probably comes on a platter. If she is travelling and doesn't tell you of her plans, do same to her. Plan a travel for the weekend, perhaps to visit your parents or a business related trip and tell her the night before, or on the day before. Some people do things without consideration for others, not necessarily out of malicious intent but because they dont think deep enough. When you do same to her, she will develop empathy for that same thing and would have learnt a lesson. But if she doesn't care whether you tell her or not, sorry, love isn't a strong forte in your marriage. It doesn't mean you can't still have a good marriage. Many marriages still thrive on less, even without love so no biggie. As per the sex thing, 3x a week is more than enough. Negotiate a timetable for sex. Yes, I said it. It should be spontaneous blablabla, but real life events may mean you won't get any, despite being married. So, negotiate early now. Why doesn't she like sex anymore? Is she always tired? Are her hormones playing up?, let her get her thyroid checked too. Fortunately, I hear there's a new drug to help women's libido sexually. It's not yet approved in most countries, but it could help her. There's also the Spanish fly nonsense they talk about. In the past, which position did she like during the act, let more of that happen now than just the one you like. Also, make sure you're still attractive to other women. Nobody likes a pot bellied, smelly person who wears one boxer shorts 2-3 days in a row. Always smell fresh, come home fromm work, take a shower , relax to have your meal and watch TV to unwind. Wear nice pyjamas or sleep wear , fresh ones daily. Even if its sleeping in a singlet due to heat, wear a fresh singlet. I'm not been sarcastic here. You have to look after yourself. Not just because of your spouse, but for your own selfworthiness. Join a gym too while at it. If you dont show others you value your looks, body and you're a god, how would they value it? 206 Likes 17 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Skmoda360(m): 3:25pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Rapecase:I get this bro.....what you need now is God's intervention cuz it seems like you have talked to her severally and it's not yielding any result..... Bro, do you see any sign of this her sudden change in character during courtship? 4 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 3:28pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Skmoda360:She never apologises from the onset. But affront has now been added to it. |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by abescom: 3:40pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Mstick:You and your kind should learn not to comment on issues on nairaland if you have nothing tangible to say on the issue. Many people who come here ( and I have had to at some point ) do so because they need help and want to get it without revealing their identity. The fact that you don't need such at the moment doesn't mean others are petty. And he adding the money and work aspect is quite justifiable. He obviously is trying to make people see work isn't an excuse. And if you give someone as much as he has said he gave and you still get called names because you help someone in genuine need you surely will be angry too. Let's stop pulling others down because you have a way of belief that's different from theirs. 331 Likes 20 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Oluneutral: 3:56pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Expensiverichyb: Did I just read you calling these accusations little things? Abeg, fear God o, these aren't trivial issues please. These can literarily run a man mad. 45 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by abescom: 3:57pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Mstick:I won't bother with a sicknote just so I don't derail his thread. 87 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by abescom: 4:02pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Oluneutral:Gbam 2 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by crackkhaus: 4:08pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Your problem is lack of sex and the power you've given her to use it against you. Forgetting your anniversary is just a by-product of the real issues in your marriage. The day you start begging a woman for sex, you start losing your self-worth and she will gradually start believing she can get away with anything since you will still meet her at night to beg for punny. Just let her be sexually. Continue with your duties as financial provider of the home generally, but reduce whatever she personally gets from you in a noticeable way. As for your sexual needs, I won't hold it against you if you get it outside. That's exactly what I'd do in this scenario. Sex is too easy to get for one person to use it to imprison me. By the time you don't kiss, touch, or even breath on her neck for the next 5months, no one will remind her to receive sense. 203 Likes 13 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Skmoda360(m): 4:36pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Rapecase:Ah!!! This is not really good oooo and the marriage has produce children?  3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 4:46pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Skmoda360:We have two beautiful girls. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Houseofglam7(f): 4:48pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Your mental health is important here. See a therapist. And if you can convince her to,see one together at some point. Good luck 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Skmoda360(m): 5:07pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Rapecase:I guess you need to seat her down for the last time and talk some senses to her head....maybe you are pampering and overbearing her misdemeanour hence she will find it difficult to change..... 13 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by KerekereOgun: 5:16pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
[s] Officialgarri:[/s] |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 5:22pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Houseofglam7:Funny thing is, you have always been involved in this issue from 2 years ago. It lingers. Our pastors ( the new one and the previous one who was transferred ) and their wives have been involved. A mother we both respect have been involved yet nothing changed. Getting worst so much that I am beginning to question my own sanity. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Houseofglam7(f): 5:33pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Rapecase:That's why I suggested a therapist...someone neutral. Better yet,someone neither of you know. Sometimes, pastors and religious folks don't have all the answers we seek. 12 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Ishilove: 5:43pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Mstick:What's with all the unnecessary aggression and name calling? 75 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 6:15pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Ishilove:He is better ignored. 37 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Lamanii22(f): 6:37pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Mental health should be looked into... She probably is mentally down... 4 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Forgets Our Anniversary - Does She Love Me? by Rapecase: 6:45pm On Feb 19, 2020 |
Lamanii22:I doubt. The mental health path is me questioning myself. Am I demanding too much? Are my demands realistic or I am not normal? She is totally fine. 2 Likes |
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