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Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by omotowo2: 12:29am On Feb 23, 2020
ProtectMyMoney:


Woman! Your whatsapp messages is the answer why you are not so into your marriage.

Leave the man if you are not into the marriage and let your husband find the person that will be into him.

The moment you leave, several women are ready to take your place.

Do not, i repeat do not kill your husband.

People like you are those who listen to those feminists people that it is shameful to leave a marriage as divorcee but honorable to leave as widow because society pities widows.

If i were your husband, i will never eat your food alone. We must either be eating it together, or with your child you have for me.

Marriage these days are scary. And we keep blaming the baby mama trend..
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Smartjohns(m): 12:29am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.


Listen to NG INFO 99.3

Monday - Friday, from 11pm to 4am. He's a certified marriage counsellor. He'll help out am certain.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by KayJayTobz(m): 12:30am On Feb 23, 2020
I have followed this thread from the get go up until now, I have studied your reply and response to people's comment... Here's mine

First I feel you don't have a mind of your own. Why am I saying that.. for a lady who literally has no say as to who she spends the rest of her life with just proves that.. you made a statement that he forced himself on you, seriously Are you a statue with no emotions or mind of your own?? Couldn't you have said No and stand by your decision?? These are the reason I said you do not have a mind of your own.


Second.. someone made what I regard to be the best advice here... Love is a choice, a decision you have to make. Its conscious and it's deliberate.. the mistake we make in this generation is reducing love to a feeling. Feelings come and feelings go, love is way beyond a feeling... From what you've said so far, you expectations contradict itself... First someone made a suggestion of traveling out; you bought it, another raised the subject of divorce, you bought it these just shows how you really don't have a mind if your own....

My one cent, Decide to love him, make a conscious effort to stay with me.. finally CHOOSE HIM. thank you MA

4 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by largeman4u(m): 12:34am On Feb 23, 2020
Woman with ego

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by omotowo2: 12:45am On Feb 23, 2020
And the worst part is that your husband may not even be the father of your son.

See women fear women

All these yeye stories could even be that the man is not good on bed and you just find yourself a champion on bed.

4 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by eagleonearth(m): 12:51am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

You deserve all the insults in this world because you're a witch and more satanic than Satan. You knew from day one that you didn't love that man and still chose to suffer him all his life. I would slap sense into you if you said this in my presence.

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Badgers14: 1:00am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.


Before I air my opinion..

Do you mind sharing who is the other guy on your mind?

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by philip0906(m): 1:00am On Feb 23, 2020
Omar09:


I'm gonna go out of the way and do what others have failed to do here. And I wish your husband will see this comment of mine.


I blame your husband! Why do I blame him?
He forced himself on you. Because he forced himself on you, he couldn't see that you both should have remained at being just friends. He was hellbent on dating you and getting married to you. Which is bad
. [s]And you might have hidden your true self from him consciously or subconsciously and because he was blinded by his infatuation and lust couldn't see it coming.

To op, you just have to divorce him on the terms that you both are not compatible. He will see you as the bad person, but that's for you not showing him your true self and getting in on the bandwagon of marriage. And he will be heartbroken because he deserves it. He shouldn't have forced himself on you.

If you divorce him, you will do him a great favor so that he can find happiness. But make sure it comes to him as subtle as possible. [/s]
Senseless talk from her fellow witches!!!

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Chirowman(m): 1:01am On Feb 23, 2020
this is one of the reason am afraid of marriage ,most women led a man on while having sex with an ex or even taking pity as love.i have told my girlfriend to go her separate way but she insist that she love me with all her heart tomorrow now she will come to social media to type rubbish whereas she could have done me a favour by breaking up, so i can find better girl.but i just the eye baby mama things all this today's women marriage Wahala i don't need it.

3 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by GboyegaD(m): 1:06am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:


Yes,I accept my mistake for going into the marriage when i knew i was not not totally into him but i was made to believe love wasnt enough and one can grow in feelings and love in marriage.

You can still grow it. Love isn't just the mushy feelings. It starts from choosing to respect each other as you guys are doing now and then seeing to make each other happy and it will translate back.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by livinbygrace: 1:17am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected



Na so most of you ladies be .All dos your story na nonsense .You dey punish innocent man because of your so called first that might forgotten about your existence.If I swear for you he go catch you .Wicked soul

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by limeta(f): 1:18am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.







¹it is not him you dont love it is yr self you dont love
You cant give what you dont ve
Your parent know you well and they know you ve isues and as well you know yr self
First thing first you are ready to help the situation the reason for yr write up which is a good start.


I would advice you first clear your mind deal with pains and guilt of the past which means you ve to sit him down and talk .
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by TemmyT002(m): 1:22am On Feb 23, 2020
Calm down
The first three years of marriages are usally like that.
Be patient
Unless of course you have a secret admirer that you haven't told us about.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by UNPERTURBED: 1:35am On Feb 23, 2020
Aswear the Jazz strong.
The Enemy got it from Zamfara State.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by infoadvice112: 1:46am On Feb 23, 2020
Madam

Let me tell you things that will happen in the next coming weeks or months.....

Your husband only kept to himself because he is just waiting for that error which you will make to push you out of that house, you will be very shocked when the time comes.
He refuse to talk about it with you, but definitely your man have discussed the issues with close friends including someone from his family.

You have a side MAN,who you spent most of your time talking/chat with most night and the truth is you are doing video sex or sending nude pics with just to satisfy yourself

You are going to make an error which your husband who you clam you don't love will find out,and that will be the beginning of your problems
Your so called Husband will take the matter very serious that your family will hear and he will eventually throw you out, he is only allowing you to stay in the house for now, until he get good evidence to push you out, only few men goes outside to report their wife's not allowing them sex, men normally wait until you commit a serious crime before they let it all out

Madam... go get a divorce ASAP if your mind is know longer in the union, you are doing more damage than your think right now, if your husband ignores you for the past weeks and months without sex, he is setting a trap which you will fall into is just a matter of time. you will not believe what will hit you

The man have done everything he knows to make you happy, but your mind is made up so he is left with know option to believe that you have an affair somewhere and definitely he will find out and you will have yourself to blame

The outside world is not what you think, you will only realize that when those you think are beside you will jump ship when the did is done.
Wise up or remain in your dream world

4 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by nairalanded: 1:50am On Feb 23, 2020

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by NobleDeSage001: 1:51am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

This is actually your problem. You invested all you have in your ex - emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically, in fact everything you have got in you as a human being.
Your heart is bruised because your father prevented you from marrying the love of your life. You have not forgiven your father for that decision and your husband is being punished because of it.
There are only two things you can do: 1. If you want to use your might or power, you will never love your husband and you both will keep drifting apart through the years. The only option is to leave the marriage and stop punishing him. Four years is enough already for the punishment.
2. If you are willing to let God handle this, yield to Him. Pray fervently and ask Him to heal your bruised heart. Also, pray for grace to forgive your father and let go of the past.
You can only love your husband when your heart is totally healed.
Seek God's healing Grace. Peace be with you.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by 1972xy: 1:53am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

Do you want to hear the truth about this matter? You have a spiritual husband. I know you love your husband dearly but the demon in you will not allow him to function in your life.
Please i will advise you to go to Synagogue for deliverance. Tb Joshua the anointed man of God is waiting for you. Run !
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by MurphyTheory99(m): 1:53am On Feb 23, 2020
I will advice that you learn how to give head (bj). If that husband of yours collect head, he will be speaking from his anus in no time.
The problem is that you guys grew apart and not sharing a room is a major challenge. Are you attractive and neat? Check yourself cos he might not have all the fault.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by golddare: 2:16am On Feb 23, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Wanna apply?

Lol... happily married. Anyways that's the only way my comments can help her. Sometimes all these Telemundo and Novels messes with people's minds.

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by joepepsy(m): 2:18am On Feb 23, 2020
grin grin easy,women are not easy to manage.
healthserve:




Evil wicked bitter soul. Why not divorce and go with your side fvck mates than subject a human to your witchcraft
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Nobody: 2:23am On Feb 23, 2020
anonimi:




www.nairaland.com/attachments/4160988_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362



www.nairaland.com/attachments/4108585_img20151221wa020_jpegffa407ba2efc86a3ddb75a6084d3c6aa






Why add this after your religious fear-mongering comment

I added it because of retards like you whose calvarium is filled with sawdust instead of grey matter, and hence, cannot decipher a bogus satire.
Only a Dunderhead like you would not discern the sarcasm!

Imagine the pinhead painting Africa as misbegotten! What a slave mentality!
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by SangoOlukosoOba(m): 2:25am On Feb 23, 2020
Divorce him.

Your happiness is Paramount in all the epistle you composed.

Divorce him and move on
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by sexyyoyo(m): 2:30am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:
@bankowner,
Thank you so much I've been looking up for counsellor(s) online to rebook appointment with and I'm open to all critics as long as I wil yield a positive result.

Once again,thank you.

Send email to this woman, funmiseni@gmail.com to get her whatsapp contact. She will be able to help you out in counseling you. It's completely free service.
She will mentor you. When you contact her she will give you her contact herself. In fact you can actually help other women having issues in their marriage by referring them to her.
God bless your heart and bless your marriage.
Remember it's Free service she renders.
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by darediamond(m): 2:31am On Feb 23, 2020
Just as it is always said that Women ACT BEFOTE THEY THINK.

SEPARATION is the advice generally being given to you now which ypu will REGRET LATER IF YOU YIELD TO IT OP.

Your Dad saved you from Possible Future Marital Life Agonies by not allowing you to marry your said first Love but you failed to see that.

You are better start praying now to God to remove Spirit of Matrimony Breaker from your Home.

Okurin po lode SUGBON, OKO WON OO!

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by piyoo91: 3:18am On Feb 23, 2020
Madam, the truth is marriage and love are two seperate things, love who you marry and marry who you love are not the same... The whole problem here is in your hands. Your thinking is your problem, your mind always tells you that your husband irritate you and you hate your husband...dnt allow those thought to dominate your mind...this marriage can work believe me...dnt allow that thought that you dnt love your husband to dominate your mind. When ever that thought comes again into your mind, try to cast it out by not allowing yourself to think that...this marriage can still work

1 Like

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by davillian(m): 3:18am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:


Yes,have been dating my bf for (15yrs)he was my first nd the only one have ever loved,our problem started when my dad said he witnessed where exhibited an unruly characters to some elders and also cos of the friends he moves with recently as at then and that he wasnt comfortable with our relationship (which i pleaded and made him understand everyone deserves another chance but cos how principled my dad was he insisted he won't consent to our union)
To be candid,this is the guy have share all my life with,he's all i wanted in a man but my dad opinion ruined our relationship.

I think seperation from my husband is all i need just for clarity sake but honestly,the more i try to make the marriage work the more i drift away from him and I dont know how to go about it.

I have visited two marriage counsellors without informing my husband all in my effort to work things but not yielding results as expected

grin
End the marriage na
You would still come here to tell us how your first love abandoned you
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by trumpcoat(m): 3:24am On Feb 23, 2020
Let's take it from physical to the spiritual only if you can understand, there's a spiritual being in you who is responsible for all this am talking from experience, please look for a living church for deliverance, you will be surprise that you will see your husband as a new person after the whole thing,you may check for scoan ministry online for better clarification of your problems
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by wany(f): 3:26am On Feb 23, 2020
healthserve:



Elder remove the apology you were accurate. Don't dilute the truth i beg you. This is a wicked heartlesss soul here
Nothing like a wicked heartless soul.you don't force people to love and be attracted to another,it has to come from the inside.men love been fooled.a lot of men really need to come woke in relationships,just because a girl steps in and do your laundry doesn't mean she loves you.you need to look deeper. undecided

2 Likes

Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by Dikaveli2(m): 3:30am On Feb 23, 2020
Girlwhocares:


I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.
.

Contact doctor victor +2347056562797 he is a professional therapist
Re: Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed by sparqo01: 3:35am On Feb 23, 2020
Firstly, for you to bring up this issue here is that you don’t want out of the marriage and you want to make it work.
Of a truth, you can grow in feelings and love but the question should be....”how do you grow in feelings and love”
It’s very straight forward for me...
1..you’ve accepted the fact that in all of these, you are at fault
2.. be willing to make amends
3..change your perspective about your marriage
4... be very open minded
5..treat your husband the way you want to be treated and let the love flow
6...involve God full time

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