franchasng:
I have talking my own since na, you is there asked questions, we is dropped our contributing hot hot

We is wait to hear more details from her

kiddkash:

make yourself look good so that your husband will stop looking at other people.
also ask your husband for a thre*esume

ewo

womanscorned:
Before I got married to my husband we had a kind of perfect relationship. I just thought he was the perfect guy. He always checked on me. I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives and everyone else just thought so too. My brothers warned me that he is not going to treat me right but I just feel drawn to him. I thought he just really cared about me. He seemed different.

I introduced him to my dad and my dad asked if I was sure and yes at that moment I was. Then shortly before the wedding his true colors started to come out. I never checked his phone but then a friend caught her boyfriend cheating so I decided to just check it. Guys I understand people say that if you go looking you will find something but I actually don't really believe that why is there always something that is the main point. I checked his phone and found one boob pic and pics of his old exes. I was SO shocked. Honestly, I never thought I would find anything. He told me that he recently got his phone updated and the pic was a pic of a celebrity. But I was smarter than that I saw that it was actually an "Auntie" that sent the pic so basically one of his contacts. I was so shocked, didn't know what to do. I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change.

Fast forward to a few months later I see a girl's pic in his phone his good friend's girlfriend and he was commenting on her looks very gross-like. I lost it and we fought but he assured me it was just guy talk.

Then again I recently found him talking to his good friend about another girl's boobs and he never tells me he loves me any longer. Never really truly cares. He even brought up divorce if I wanted to do it. So I am just kind of stuck. I do want to get a divorce honestly if my parents and his would not get involved. But we have a child together. I am not sure what to do right now. Why would he do this to me? Why get married if you don't love the person. I understand that people say guys will be guys and locker room talk but if you don't love that person deeply and truly then why marry them and make a vow before God.

Now I don't know what to do. He is always so rude in the way he talks. I can't remember the last time he took me out and even if he did I am sure it would be a dry conversation. I think he really is just worried about what people say and not really losing me any longer. He has this thing where he wants to always look like a nice guy. So my question is if you were in this position how would you leave? Oh he also looks at my friends and claims he never was when it is pretty obvious. He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.

Try using a counselor or talk things through with him
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My Dear, treat with caution, your hubby may not be what you think, give him the benefit of doubt, investigate and finally decide what to do, but don't kill anybody oh, remember where Sandas end her story.
thanks

healthserve:



We is wait to hear more details from her

keeping waited na, op is disappeared as plenty we is giving her goodly advices ;

I hope you are not comparing him with those or one of those you left to marry him. Don't mind them, most men are the same. Just carry your own cross and move on.

Originalsly:
In his eyes.... you are history. You went digging... how can you say you didn't expect to find dirt?... weren't you digging expecting to find something? Then you transformed to a digger... digging at every opportunity... and overreacting to your findings... no matter how small or innocent. Don't you think you were putting a strain on the relationship?...on the marriage? Some men can't stand drama and you are very dramatic... a drama queen. That's not what he bargained for... so basically... he's out. You seem to be the type who do not consider advice... but do things the way you see fit. Such people learn the hard way. Blame yourself for marrying someone because you were in love with him only. Younspilt the milk.... why be crying? My advice... get a mirror...look into it.

Eish so much stupidity in one post.

Wetin u dey find for his phone.
Why dont you allow sleeping dog to lie jejely.
Sister,everybody get their issue oo.
U own smallnfor.anoda person side.
Dey manage am else na after 1 be that o

@ op, i'v read through your story; just looking for the wink part, but i couldn't find it.

franchasng:
keeping waited na, op is disappeared as plenty we is giving her goodly advices ;

Ayam not a talking till she samankwe back to za thread ( in buhari's voice )

generationz:


Hmm...

Is this what I'm thinking?

Babe I don’t know o.

You are still a learner because all these are trivial issues.

FOCUS on making him love you more instead of just causing drama here n there. It can be so tiring and frustrating!

womanscorned:
Before I got married to my husband we had a kind of perfect relationship. I just thought he was the perfect guy. He always checked on me. I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives and everyone else just thought so too. My brothers warned me that he is not going to treat me right but I just feel drawn to him. I thought he just really cared about me. He seemed different.

I introduced him to my dad and my dad asked if I was sure and yes at that moment I was. Then shortly before the wedding his true colors started to come out. I never checked his phone but then a friend caught her boyfriend cheating so I decided to just check it. Guys I understand people say that if you go looking you will find something but I actually don't really believe that why is there always something that is the main point. I checked his phone and found one boob pic and pics of his old exes. I was SO shocked. Honestly, I never thought I would find anything. He told me that he recently got his phone updated and the pic was a pic of a celebrity. But I was smarter than that I saw that it was actually an "Auntie" that sent the pic so basically one of his contacts. I was so shocked, didn't know what to do. I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change.

Fast forward to a few months later I see a girl's pic in his phone his good friend's girlfriend and he was commenting on her looks very gross-like. I lost it and we fought but he assured me it was just guy talk.

Then again I recently found him talking to his good friend about another girl's boobs and he never tells me he loves me any longer. Never really truly cares. He even brought up divorce if I wanted to do it. So I am just kind of stuck. I do want to get a divorce honestly if my parents and his would not get involved. But we have a child together. I am not sure what to do right now. Why would he do this to me? Why get married if you don't love the person. I understand that people say guys will be guys and locker room talk but if you don't love that person deeply and truly then why marry them and make a vow before God.

Now I don't know what to do. He is always so rude in the way he talks. I can't remember the last time he took me out and even if he did I am sure it would be a dry conversation. I think he really is just worried about what people say and not really losing me any longer. He has this thing where he wants to always look like a nice guy. So my question is if you were in this position how would you leave? Oh he also looks at my friends and claims he never was when it is pretty obvious. He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.

You have taken things too far. There is no single evidence that he is cheating on you. He is just being a mad. You took things overboard and became an overnight nag. You are the cause of your own problem

healthserve:


Ayam not a talking till she samankwe back to za thread ( in buhari's voice )

samankwe

franchasng:
see sis let me tell you something lol, I am around 5ft8, my wife like 6ft guys which I am aware from the get go lol....sometimes during our courtship days, she would taunt me with; if only you were 6ft like this guy, and I will jokingly fire back; if only the guy is as rich as me

Or I will taunt her back that you know you nearly escaped being albino and she will laugh out loud and we will turn it to jokes lol


I have seen life enough to go bothering myself about who my wife admires lol, when I know that every human have other humans they do fancy even if they are dating or married to the finest man or woman.


To tell u my kind of person again, my wife is a medic, I don't like doctors in the past, maybe till now lol, I do tell her that I hear that male doctors do fvck female doctors on duty, that make una de use protection oh, and my wife will laugh like this man you are not well at all, and we will laugh over it. ....so me don't really give a flying Bleep about those stuffs, if she want cheat, na she sabi oh, but sha make I no catch her

So you ladies should free your minds, life is not that hard na, allow your husbands to have some freedom, stop choking your men, men don't like being choked oh, hmmm

if you both are comfortable admiring the opposite gender, who am I?. But believe it or not, that thing is so nauseating and embarrassing. If you want to look, go on but don't lust after and don't cheat.

I wise man once said that if you see a good thing that's not yours look once and remove your eyes, if you look a second time, you get into trouble. Shalom.

franchasng:
samankwe

And so what?

What is so special about you that he MUST only look at you?

Nonsense.

wizkidblogger:
You are still a learner because all these are trivial issues.

FOCUS on making him love you more instead of just causing drama here n there. It can be so tiring and frustrating!

Wizkid is has spoketh, respects brother

You sound conflicted.

On one hand, you said “... I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives..” and the next second, you said “...I thought he just really cared about me”. The two don’t go together.

I seriously don’t know how a self acclaimed ‘smart’ lady will get married to someone they feel have an ulterior motives towards them.

All in all, you saw the warning signs before stepping in and took no actions against them, therefore you are as complacent as your husband or you saw some huge advantages despite the troubling disadvantages ie the pros outweighed the cons hence you decided to move ahead.

The question is, what truly changed for you? Is it because he is now rude and does not care about you as much as before? Also, why do you think you are ‘stuck’? You always have options, don’t ever think you are stuck, it can emotionally incapacitate one.

Take a deep breath and jot down, what you can take and what your limits are and discuss with him. If he refuses to see reasons with you, try to consult close elderly relatives and if that does not work, start making plans to protect yourself and your babies, STDs and HIV are real and you don’t want to willingly get yourself infected...Yes, I know I used the word ‘willingly’, but if you look closely, it is not that you are in the dark about it.

Lesson for next time...if you didn’t check his phone while you guys were dating, you should not check their phone after marriage. If you suspect them to have an ulterior motive before you guys get married, it is disingenuous on your part to expect something else after marriage.

Op, you saw all the signs but still allowed your emotions to cloud your reasoning. You are the only one who wears the shoes and know where it pains. If the pain is too much take a walk, else stay and bear the consequences of your ill decision. Good luck!

Marry God fearing man so that you can rest.
But they won't. He is not as spontaneous as emeka.

They say they Want God fearing men but they hardly ever marry them.

If women marry men that truly fear God, 99% of the stories I read here will not happen.

Originalsly:
In his eyes.... you are history. You went digging... how can you say you didn't expect to find dirt?... weren't you digging expecting to find something? Then you transformed to a digger... digging at every opportunity... and overreacting to your findings... no matter how small or innocent. Don't you think you were putting a strain on the relationship?...on the marriage? Some men can't stand drama and you are very dramatic... a drama queen. That's not what he bargained for... so basically... he's out. You seem to be the type who do not consider advice... but do things the way you see fit. Such people learn the hard way. Blame yourself for marrying someone because you were in love with him only. Younspilt the milk.... why be crying? My advice... get a mirror...look into it.

Spilt which milk?

Don't just start.
Its enough that the husband is cheating on her, why blame the husband's behavior on her. You can blame her for not quitting at the onset when she discovered the slime she was marrying.

franchasng:
my dear brother, you are not completely correct oh lol.



Me I married a lady that surpasses the qualities I wanted in a wife; I love big ass and averagely standing breast (not big), flat tummy and full straight legs. I love fair skin ladies and chocolate skin too, guess what My wife is fair skin like a Caucasian woman with long hair to match. But to be honest with you, sometimes I see myself admiring other ladies that are not close to as cute as my wife, reason I can't tell.


Until you marry as a man, you won't understand this issue honestly. It's beyond marrying a pretty lady with all the physical features you fancy.


But one thing I am sure of is, I can only admire other ladies with good shape, but I cannot see myself cheating on my wife, not because of her physical beauty, but because she is too sweet and amazing as a woman. This lady can pass as an angel woman.

The way she talks, the way she behaves, her countenance, the way she treat other people and the way she carries herself makes my head spin, not even her physical beauty but her entire personality is enchanting

the bolded is not something to be proud of. you need psychological overhaul and what's with these when you get married nonsense people do chant here


you can't use your unfaithfulness to judge others. there are many married men who what concerned them most is how to build wealth, give their family financial sustainability. right from my time I don't do two ladies except when my ex was out of the state I lived


you can't marry someone with those qualities you mentioned above and still cheat, where is the love?

CSTR2:
Marry God fearing man so that you can rest.
But they won't. He is not as spontaneous as emeka.

They say they Want God fearing men but they hardly ever marry them.

If women marry men that truly fear God, 99% of the stories I read here will not happen.

Commot jooooooor!


Where is the high blood pressure and headache in dat?


U dont know nagging requires some sought of causation factor.


Even women of God, marrying Church goers and bench warmers over the born again brothers.

EJanni:
if you both are comfortable admiring the opposite gender, who am I?. But believe it or not, that thing is so nauseating and embarrassing. If you want to look, go on but don't lust after and don't cheat.

I wise man once said that if you see a good thing that's not yours look once and remove your eyes, if you look a second time, you get into trouble. Shalom.

men must be men, you cannot take it away from men.


Maybe I will attach a mild drama that happened between President Obama and his wife Michelle during Nelson Mandella's burial in SA some years back.


Obama even though he was the number one person at that occasion with all media attention on him couldn't resist flirting with Danish Prime Minister, a very beautiful woman, to the extent Obama forgot his wife was sitting beside him


I was watching it live that day.


The wife couldn't take it, she had to tell Obama to switch seat with her so that she will be the one close to the lady lol


Many world leaders and celebrity men married to hottest women have been caught severally staring and even flirting with other women, it's how men are wired and women shouldn't force themselves to start doing same just to get at their men, if it's not natural don't force it.

Kemight15:
This is why I'm scared of marriage
I'm 25 and I don't think of marrying anybody


Please leave that man ASAP before it's too late

If your marriage is young . please leave him

He will get worst with gray hair. As he ages it will get worst.


He cannot change . its in built

Amanda4life:



If your marriage is young . please leave him

He will get worst with gray hair. As he ages it will get worst.


He cannot change . its in built

Lasttime u said he will get better as he gets old.

Wat happened?

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman

Job31:1

A God fearing man would be like Job.

Ladies, marry truly God fearing men so that we can rest on nairaland.

No kill ur self oooo, okay,

CSTR2:
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman

Job31:1

A God fearing man would be like Job.

Ladies, marry truly God fearing men so that we can rest on nairaland.

AHHHHH!


U don come again Oooooo...



Will he shag dem like a porrnstar?



Will he be able to stimulate their little minds and entertain dem?


Does he have money?

Mandelus:
You are scared why not tell him....
Secondly how often do you dress sexy during bed times... Seduce your man with different sexy dresses during bed time don't bore the moment with heat and laczy dress make him desire you.. tell him you love him before you sleep and when his going to work, text him around 12noon.
Do this and have him by 3pm home early to have fun with you .

Which one be seduce with sexy dresses when she fit dey use birthsuit do the same thing?