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Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Smile4mee01: 6:30pm On Feb 25, 2020
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

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Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Katier00(f): 6:34pm On Feb 25, 2020
Thanks for the advice. Experience they say, is the best teacher

51 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Prec1ous(m): 6:45pm On Feb 25, 2020
OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.

312 Likes 27 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by xendra: 6:47pm On Feb 25, 2020
it Is hardly ever healthy, if you don't have problems with the said lady (maybe because she wants more and you don't); you soon have problems with your lady whenever she finds out about her. (nobody ever really believes its possible to want such a relationship without wanting something more sooner or later)

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:02pm On Feb 25, 2020
.........and she is helping herself by cutting off completely from you, one of the ways she feels she can quit and be focused is by blocking you on her social medias, so don't complain. Some people can still cope seeing their ex, friends, etc on their social media platforms, others cannot.

297 Likes 17 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Davash222(m): 7:15pm On Feb 25, 2020
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!

100 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by crackkhaus: 7:19pm On Feb 25, 2020
While I feel it's an overreaction to turn herself into a stranger because of this, it's understandable as this is her own way of dealing with rejection.

Let her be.

41 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Smile4mee01: 7:33pm On Feb 25, 2020
Brother, there is more to life than sex. A 35 yr old single lady wants more than sex bro... She never gave that vibe though. She wanted more from me, like commitment and marriage. but its all good. Its all behind me now. I wish her well still...

Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!

103 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Davash222(m): 7:34pm On Feb 25, 2020
Smile4mee01:

Brother, there is more to life than sex. A 35 yr old single lady wants more than sex bro... She never gave that vibe though. She wanted more from me, like commitment and marriage. but its all good. Its all behind me now. I wish her well still...

She told you she wants you to marry her

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Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 7:36pm On Feb 25, 2020
Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!
grin grin
[img]https:///view/funny-smile-best-laugh-gif-8282901.gif.gif[/img]

66 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Mariangeles(f): 7:41pm On Feb 25, 2020
[s]
Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!
[/s]

Most times you type trash!
Life doesn't begin and end with sex!

201 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Fountainofyouth(f): 7:54pm On Feb 25, 2020
And yet you brought it here to whine, you wouldn't do that if it isn't bothering you and you don't miss her, she did right by blocking you though, cos you keep pestering her with your constant contact.

103 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Octopusssy(f): 8:13pm On Feb 25, 2020
Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!
Don't you ever get tired of typing crap??

103 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Octopusssy(f): 8:16pm On Feb 25, 2020
Mariangeles:


Most times you type trash!
Life doesn't begin and end with sex!
I taya. I have never seen someone so proud of his ignorance.

77 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Smile4mee01: 8:58pm On Feb 25, 2020
I am ok with her blocking me. I meant no harm by being friends with her in the first place. This was more like an advice to others to be careful when being friends with a single lady who desires to marry and you are have no such intentions.

Leave her alone, before she leaves you.

Fountainofyouth:
And yet you brought it here to whine, you wouldn't do that if it isn't bothering you and you don't miss her, she did right by blocking you though, cos you keep pestering her with your constant contact.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Fountainofyouth(f): 9:09pm On Feb 25, 2020
Smile4mee01:
I am ok with her blocking me. I meant no harm by being friends with her in the first place. This was more like an advice to others to be careful when being friends with a single lady who desires to marry and you are have no such intentions.

Leave her alone, before she leaves you.



Oh now I see where the hurt is coming from, you hate the fact that she left you first, and it hurt you so much you came here to whine, in the pretense of advising your fellows, lol I get you dude, you will be fine cheesy

146 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by PrimadonnaO(f): 9:12pm On Feb 25, 2020
So spinsters should be avoided? undecided

The real issue here should be setting boundaries and properly defining association so no one gets funny ideas. Not that people should be careful being friends with ladies of marriageable age. What's to be careful about if it's a completely ordinary friendship?

28 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 9:13pm On Feb 25, 2020
There's more to this your story. A woman wouldn't block you just because you said you wanted to be friends. You must've done or said something beyond that.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Mariangeles(f): 9:19pm On Feb 25, 2020
Fountainofyouth:



Oh now I see where the hurt is coming from, you hate the fact that she left you first, and it hurt you so much you came here to whine, in the pretense of advising your fellows, lol I get you dude, you will be fine cheesy
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Touché grin

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Mariangeles(f): 9:21pm On Feb 25, 2020
Smile4mee01:
I am ok with her blocking me. I meant no harm by being friends with her in the first place. This was more like an advice to others to be careful when being friends with a single lady who desires to marry and you are have no such intentions.

Leave her alone, before she leaves you.


.....and you're maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad about it grin

44 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Slawormir: 9:52pm On Feb 25, 2020
Damnnnnn niggarrr

Initially i thought you were seeking for advice

But you are the one admonishing us

Hahhahahha
This op is not serious
Different character full this Nairaland sha

Make i continue my second half for Bayern Vs Chelsea match joor

25 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Dadaboy: 9:52pm On Feb 25, 2020
Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr

28 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by chelseamann(m): 9:53pm On Feb 25, 2020
...
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by DirtyGold: 9:53pm On Feb 25, 2020
As a man, determine what you want! Do not let any woman pull you into a situation that's entirely her idea.
If it is something you're cool with, buy into it and take over the control of its direction.

@OP, you should be happy she did that; you didn't play into her plans. Let her try someone else... at 35 she doesn't seem to have much success with it.

What's tha business?

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Expert17: 9:53pm On Feb 25, 2020
wink wink

Go get a life,... Think big
And stop disturbing us with women issue

You're 34 yrs old,... U shud be wiser wink wink

27 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by pocohantas(f): 9:53pm On Feb 25, 2020
She did well, lest you say she is still nice because you are in the abroad.

She checks her feelings and see-finish.

Two birds, one stone.

44 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Parrie(m): 9:53pm On Feb 25, 2020
she blocked you because she was expecting something more form you,which u didn't live up to

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Akukaliaa(m): 9:53pm On Feb 25, 2020
cry



You showed great potentials in life and recorded good career victories. By your succeses and progressions you brought upon yourself the love of a desperate woman who at some point wanted to savour the glory of your success with you in matrimony.

I have seen people down this rough road before and I make one plea of you - Please do not oblige her.

Do not make the mistake of falling into the bossom of a desperate woman or into the slippery palms of a confused lady. She is both. Run! Run very fast! You can fall if you wish to.

But if you must fall, fall where your bones can be gathered.

31 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Sonnobax15(m): 9:54pm On Feb 25, 2020
grin Diz niggar is pained simply because he gentle-manly failed to sample her kongo...e dey pain cha,but it was necessary 4 her...e get why.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by JosephXavier: 9:54pm On Feb 25, 2020
Soo

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Brendaniel: 9:54pm On Feb 25, 2020
wow...
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Bear007(m): 9:54pm On Feb 25, 2020
She's scared of seeing your success story online.

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