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I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by fantastic1: 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
Babe let gokiss
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by abdullkabar(m): 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
By 27, you should know what you want and where you are going
Wasting of time and energy at that age can leave you regretting later
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by pahen1991: 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
Nollywood seasonal
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by duduade: 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

You need to be strong to move on
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Alwaysachick: 10:43pm On Mar 06, 2020
Sis get ready for the heart break, its going to hit you so hard you will think your world would crumble. But, it won't.

Take another guy serious and dumb the dush bag. No body tied your soul to him, you will get over him soon.

Besides, he is already an evening newspaper with little or nothing.....is he really worth the heart/head ache?

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by chatinent: 10:44pm On Mar 06, 2020
I wonder how ladies stay in a relationship even when they know they are played. You are hoping he'll change and turn you the missing girl with the shoe (Cinderella)? Run not for your life, but for our lives; we don't want to hear 'I hate men, I'm now a feminist.'

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Sixfeetbelle: 10:44pm On Mar 06, 2020
eni4real:
Lolzz wink

Did I forget to mention I was being sarcastic? wink
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ZooOga: 10:45pm On Mar 06, 2020
>>>7. ]When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him.

Sista love, pls release yourself of dat good pipe and go forward with your life. or stay and enjoy sharing it with your sister-wives, but pls, no more essays asking what to do na. wink

Lauryn Hill - [b]Freedom Time
(Unplugged)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kMEGdw_VF8&feature=emb_title
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by franchasng: 10:46pm On Mar 06, 2020
safarigirl:
You are allowing one 40-year old evening newspaper to tie a young lady like you down?

Someone whose mates have finished birthing all their children, even Davido that isn't up to 30, has 3 kids, but one old man is feeling like a baby boy, and using you to play ping pong in 2020?

I know STDs can be transmitted, but not stupidity too. Aunty, Ji ma sun, that man is an old cargo, find yourself someone younger and stop waiting for someone who does not know that time is against him
my dear I tire oh lol



At 40yrs the man is still struggling to decide who to marry, such a man have a big problem. Unless his job is not paying him well and maybe he is struggling financially and scared of going into marriage with such meagre income, if not, he is a prodigal son angry

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 10:46pm On Mar 06, 2020
This is a clear definition of stupidity. It's either you are blind or foolish. Keep wasting your time

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by lewis512(m): 10:46pm On Mar 06, 2020
How can I talk to the guy ? I need the second side of the story
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 10:48pm On Mar 06, 2020
I couldn't continue reading cos its too lengthy and annoying. Like how could you? After all the red flag signs you're still with him. Doing what?
Are there no other men?

Menhnnn if the gives you wedding IV, I won't blame him cos he had used every possible means to tell you he's not interested and you even know but are still hell bent on hanging on.

Get out of that relationship At once and look for a man who'll love and cherish you.

5 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Candycrushy(f): 10:50pm On Mar 06, 2020
How do pple stay 5 years in a relationship??
God please help me...
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by degoodman22: 10:50pm On Mar 06, 2020
Is normal and right to fall in love. Yet, when love is not guided by reason, then the lover becomes the fool. Girl, you are 27 already and can handle things on your own. The guy in question has no plans for His future and seems to be having problem of choice (maybe due to numerous girl friends). Don't wait until you are used for testimony in the church. Pick yourself up and move on. If you have worth and value for yourself, real men would see them. If you think you are worthless, then keep waiting for the only one whom you think has recognized your worthlessness. Time waits for no one. Good luck.

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by blackgold2018(m): 10:51pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.
Ain't spiritual. You are just an immature foool! Idiot

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by gracechellar(f): 10:52pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
leave! Run for your life n be free
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 10:52pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused
you’re the oga patapata of ‘Pickme’. Anyway, everyone has their journey, no one can help you here until you get to the bustop where you’ll end it yourself. I’m sending you love, light and common sense kiss

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Burgcudi(m): 10:52pm On Mar 06, 2020
4tunebest:
Ehn Ehn. Eeeyaaahh. Oma se ooo. S'omo ree S'obinrin ree Se graduate de le leyi shaaa??


Nah wetin you dey talk self...
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Lorenzop: 10:54pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

I wish he will let me be and not try sweet talking me into opening my heart to him again.

Kai....the fact that you wrote the above means you love the guy so much....please don't be an emotional fool. He doesn't deserve your love....reserve it for someone more qualified else you will never leave him
...it's gonna hurt but its the best except u want make u hear say he don dey get married while you still think u are with him....Run now while its still early
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by AreaFada2: 10:54pm On Mar 06, 2020
OP, why don't see people like you when we are looking for? shocked shocked shocked shocked

If half of what you said is true, then sorry.
But thank God you are still young enough. But if a man of 40 cannot tell you where the relationship is going, then he doesn't see you as his ideal woman to marry.

It happens. You can be pretty, caring and all that but a man can still find that certain "something" missing. But he should be man enough to set you free. He can't eat his cake and have it.

He has already told you that you guys won't end up together forever. He just framed it to test your reaction.

Dudette, be ready to move on. Yes, it will hurt but time is a healer.

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by franchasng: 10:56pm On Mar 06, 2020
If you are a single lady reading this thread, let me advice you all like a brother, and from a guy perspective. Listen and listen well.

If you are dating any guy above 33yrs who is doing well financially either through a good job, a good business, a good trade or handwork, and he is doing well and not struggling financially, and after 1yr+ of committed relationship, he didn't mention marriage or paint any image of you guys settling down soon, please just leave him. You don't even need to make the breakup official, just delete him emotionally and officially as your man and be open to new dates from ready guys only cos you can't sell your dog to buy monkey, that's stupidity.


Listen, no Nigerian guy with stable finance, who is not struggling financially stay above 35yrs without getting married or having a babymama if he prefers babymama.

Once a Nigerian guy clock 35yrs, he starts to daydream about marriage unless things are difficult for him financially.


So any guy above 35yrs and have good income source that is still single have an underlying issue, run from such a man as a single lady if you desire to settle down sooner.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by cutefy: 10:58pm On Mar 06, 2020
Babe, with the way you are going and considering your age, you'll likely end up in tears and frustration if you don't quit that relationship asap.

Before you know it, age is against you in ur bid to get a good marriage. You are just chasing away potential husband because of a hopeless relationship with a hopeless boyfriend.

For the sake of your parents, family and loved ones... end that relationship now and declare yourself available.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by nomenclature(m): 11:00pm On Mar 06, 2020
How many times will I tell you that Nigeria is not for you .

You be mumu woman

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by franchasng: 11:00pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.
if you don't mind PM the guy's number let me talk to him man to man, it will make a difference. That's if you are okay with it though.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by D1zion: 11:00pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
my sister if you know what is good for you,the earlier the better tighten up & bear the pains now,before you commits suicide in the end.


With what you said,he has shown you from day one,but you kept pushing. Even if I were the one I'll say what he said.there's an adage in Hausa that said,Kore da hali yafi kori da sands.meaning to drive with character is more than drive with cane.he's shown you & you kept gluing him.


It has happen to be & I thank God he was the one that left & got married, but the big thing is today I would have been a widow without an issue. Mine was eight years relationship that was toxic. The gut was terrible. I was with him,right from when he was a private soldier, until he gain admission to NDA, prior to his finishing, he started misbehaving, he left & got married.


That next year he finished, I cried like I'll die bit I never thought of committing suicide cos I know who iam.but when i cried,i told him i cried tears today but your own turn will be blood & that was all.two weeks into the weeding he got an accident while traveling with his friends for their friends wedding, he was unconscious for two weeks,before saddle to wheelchair, for one year all this the lady was not intimating his mum,everything the knew through me,cos his friends were telling me to informed his mum.at last when when was to be operated upon as he had spinal cord injury. He died without leaving the operating table.he died without an issue, & his mother warned him about the girl,none of his family members went for the weeding, except his grandmother & his anty.


Pls leave now,before you regreat like I did too.he can decides to tell you he wasnts to marry you today,which could be lie,as he doesn't k ow what he wasnts yet,he can engage you while still scouting &makes lord of the ring.pls forget about emotions & leave before its too late.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Xmen149(m): 11:01pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.

calm your nerves hanty,.he is telling you the truth in a way.

There are different types of relationship depending on the aim of he individuals involved

Thing is you were sweet talked that you never had an aim(and obviously didn't make it clear an work towards it)going into the relationship so the guy took advantage of it to the fullest.

When next you go into a relationship state what you want and time your self,at the appointed time appraise your self and make decision accordingly.

if a lady that is interested in rship that will lead to marriage meets a guy looking for a fakmate and she faild to state her goal or work towards it he will wash her head and fak her creazy and leave (nothing will happen).


Now on ur guy matter
The mind is fund of what the owner keeps .
Delete the number anywhere you can find it,pictures
block and delete from whasapsp
Find a new hobby (i would have suggested Video game if u were a boy cheesy ) and spend more time with your pals or family
Over time your mind will start getting used to the absence then your eyes will open
Dnt jump into another relationship immediately but dnt take too much time

Las las you go dey ok

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:02pm On Mar 06, 2020
Brymo's Entropy on repeat here Darling.. U loving a selfish (narcissistic) man.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by SweetPreeq(m): 11:04pm On Mar 06, 2020
Teni's song comes to mind
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by divineappo(m): 11:04pm On Mar 06, 2020
u are a foolish girl, that's why he can't Marry you

How can a man cheat on u repeatedly, and yet u still remained with him for years, what nonsense? Who used ur brain for ritual?

Quit the relationship now, and stop explaining your foolishness on social media

As a guy, no girl will cheat on me while am faithful to her, and I still remain with her. Am not stupid na

U met a player, u saw the signs after probably 2-3years of hanging around his dick, and yet u still stayed for extra 2-3years again

Swerve abeg

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by oluplus(m): 11:05pm On Mar 06, 2020
hahn:


First of all change your moniker to ineedtohavesense

Chai! So mugu like this still dey Nigeria?
You are not a nice human being jor. She's in love, remember?
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Burgcudi(m): 11:05pm On Mar 06, 2020
To your post you’re not productive; do you think keeping a husband is the same as a boyfriend ?. Why do you date ? (Getting to know whom you’re inlove with). Why do you complain in a relationship ? (Designing a perfect partner for yourself; you have every right to complain if he is not making an adjustment Quite.) But I am a year older than you... Babe don’t worry you will heal... Be prayerful., pray at all times if lazy to doing that sings praises and worships cos it moves God.



Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by berbs: 11:06pm On Mar 06, 2020
I'm not even reading this your story again because I'm already angry with you. Why would you waste your precious time for goodness sake. Even if he fu cks you well and make you squirt and whatnot, don't you think it's time to move on with your life before 30? Don't let me abuse you oooo. Leave that guy already else, if you eventually marry him, you wont enjoy your home oooo. I'm not cursing you but I'm just very concerned my dear. Pray that God heals you quickly and move on with your life. A better person will eventually come. Remember, life is not only about sex, responsibilities too dey ooo. May be good Lord bless you and guide you aright. Goodnight.

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