Oche211:
I keep to one rule...
No matter how young, beautiful or intelligent a single mother is, I will never go close to her.
Never enter any relationship with her.
I will kill any feeling at all for her.
Single woman, especially the unmarried ones are full of bargages and shits.
They can give trouble for a lifetime.
Especially the unmarried baby Mama's, run as far from them as your legs can carry you unless you are a man that love trouble.

dawnomike:
I have learnt to sometimes not judge life issues from my own perception of it... Sometimes, you can never tell what you can do until you are in the other person's shoes.
In as much as i admire her motherly cincern for her son,I will like to also hear the man out though!

NB: The matter is quite complicated than we know

Oyindidi:
Lol @ Poco apprentice

I stand with the woman

Ehiscotch:
But a woman can marry a single father right?

AreaFada2:
Both men and women should consider carefully whether they need step-kids. It's a difficult thing.

KingSatan:


You can create a thread on that. Thanks for stopping

Ehiscotch:


Not such a smart response from someone who is looking to get his post on front-page.

PrimadonnaO:
Always attacking the woman.

xendra:
and this ode thought it wise to mention me

KingSatan:


Not such a smart response from someone who claims to be mentally stable.

PrimadonnaO:
Always attacking the woman.
You've arrived at a baseless conclusion that she married the man ONLY because she wants a father figure for her children.

Have you tried analysing the man's motive for marrying the lady? I mean, single mothers are supposed to be some sort of plague, according to y'all. So why did this man marry one? Was it unconditional love? If he loved her that much, he wouldn't separate a mother from her child, no matter what. What sort of man leaves his wife to run a home?

Stop blaming the little kid. A twelve year old child isn't yet set in stone. He can still be groomed and set straight. He needs his mother. Simple!

Posterity won't forgive her if she leaves that little boy to his fate.

Ehiscotch:


Was there anywhere I expressly "claimed" it?

Or are you trying to rope me into something. Anyways, I guess you just want a thread for discussions rather than generating a solution; which to me is completely cynical.

Oyindidi:
I stand with the woman

KingSatan:

7. This woman confirmed that her son is now a petty thief. In a space of 3 years, He was caught stealing and beaten like an animal. Whatever he stole is none of our business.

8. She pleaded with her husband to allow the boy to come and live with them and he said NO, his reason "he doesn't want him to damage our children". "Children" includes the girl child from the previous marriage I believe.

9. This boy has been rejected by his mothers immediate relatives (Her brother and Sister) due to his strange behaviours and thieving nature.

10. She claims she foots %70 of the bills in the family. Who knows? Married men will agree that when a woman resorts to emotional blackmail, this is her usual line.

11. This woman reconfirmed that her son is more important than her marriage. Here "I will not take him anywhere why does he have to live like an orphan whyle im alive ? To be honest My son is more important than my marriage and it’s my responsibilities to protect him"

12. Have you also observed that this woman Never talked about "Loving her husband"? Another confirmation that love never existed in the beginning.

Which man will watch a thief come into his house in broad daylight and do nothing about it?
SATAN

Ehiscotch:
But a woman can marry a single father right?
Such double standard.

If it were the man's child and the woman rejected him because he's stealing what would y'all say?

Oh, the usual bad stepmother narrative would follow.

I no even blame una, na the people wey dey carry personal matter dey come nairaland thinking they have counsellors here naim I blame.

I have seen children live without their parents before — with friends, relatives — and it's bad. They tend to be very rebellious due to a feeling of rejection. It's not very easy growing away from one parent not to talk of two. The child is only twelve and shouldn't even be called a "thief" or even suffer jungle justice.

I can't blame the woman. I don't care what happened in the previous relationship and we should all stop trying to be experts on this because we are not. People make mistakes; this is real life, shit happens.

KingSatan:


To an extent you are right. But you remember the woman had said this man loved the boy unconditionally?

This man had no problem with his family even when they were in a very bad situation.

This man is not separating the woman from her CHILD. He currently has one in his custody.

What's to say he's not a paedophile, and that's why he wanted only the young daughter? Moreover, he reneged on their agreement. Before they got married, they agreed both kids will live with them. The man lacks integrity.

He didn't leave his wife to run the home, he still contributes about %30. What if that is his level financially? What if the woman is lying?

[/color]

[color=#550000]See how you're making excuses for him. A man that can't cater for a family but still went ahead to get married. Now, who had a selfish motive? Shame on him! What reason does she have to lie. Let's stick to the facts given, assuming all to be true.

I am not blaming the kid, i will never do that. I am only judging based on the situation on the ground.

The boy is currently a thief and the mother confirms that.

He made a mistake. Don't label him just yet until it becomes a repetitive act.

THE MAN HAS MADE IT CLEAR THAT "HE IS AFRAID OF THE BOYS INFLUENCE ON THEIR CHILDREN".

So he should be cast away like an orphan? Will the husband cast the child away if it were his? Would he?

Can't you see?

LilMissFavvy:
Each and every day, you men write threads to display a deep depth of selfishness and wickedness towards women, now you direct same attitude towards a child.....a boy of 12. Calling a boy of 12 a thief, I am baffled, can't the child be corrected?. If the tables were turned, would you advise a lady not to marry a divorced father of two kids? No, you would not, you would encourage her to marry, as long as the husband has the financial capabilities, but in that thread, I saw where the OP said she foots 70percent of the bills, so what stops her husband from accepting the boy back into their home, bearing in mind that he had known she was a single mother and had agreed to accept her and kids.

The simple thing the man should do is to give that boy a chance, bring him into his home, train him properly, to see how he can get better. Maybe if the child does not change, that's when the man should start complaining.

You also said that the OP did not marry for love, rather that she married to have a father figure for her kids, my question to you is, are you not aware many people today, marry for different selfish reasons? So why should you condemned the OP?

Mind you I am not a single mother, neither can I marry a single father, but it's wrong for you to discourage those who feel okay marrying single parents, that boy should be given a CHANCE.

PrimadonnaO:


@Emboldened. She never said any such thing.

crackkhaus:
I've said it always and I keep saying it...no beef against single mothers, but I'll be damned to let anyone close to me get married to one.

No son or brother of mine will get my support if they choose to go through with it even after I have tried to discourage them.

Life is already too complicated, don't complicate further with your own two hands and two eyes open.

Single mothers should marry single fathers and vice versa, they are meant for each other and both understand where they're coming from.

He who has ears, let him hear...

PrimadonnaO:


@Emboldened. She never said any such thing.