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Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Nobody: 6:05pm On Dec 27, 2010
@poster
may i ask you what do you do (employment)?
it seems that by the answers of your man, you do have an income. so, although a gift would be nice once in a while, you dont really NEED recharge cards etc. yes the gesture is nice but only when done wholeheartedly. forcing him to buy you something is wrong.
if it took you 4 yrs to realize that this man was cheap "careful with money" then the problem is all on you.

also, gift should be DESERVED and definitely NOT handed out just because YOU offer him some. i guess this man believes that you either dont deserve or need any.

ps: everyone has different relationships, trying to compare YOUR relationship with your gfs ones will have you fail miserably.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by InkedNerd(f): 6:41pm On Dec 27, 2010
190:

grin grin grin grin

That was to draw you out and you so fell for it grin grin

Sharaap!!! Do you want me to start hitting you with my stick again? grin
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Moralistli(m): 8:22pm On Dec 27, 2010
He's most prolly generous to d girl next door. ''leave him, dump him, 4get him ain't d ultimate solution here'' Three years of courtship is no joke. consider d time, energy and all dat it has taken both of u to sustain d relatnship.
No man is flawless. If he has every other quality that you anticipate or crave, then being stingy should be seen as an issue that can easily be addressed.

Consider d following;

1) God-fearing
2) Faithfulness
3) Tustworthyness
4) Compatibility
5) Marriage gist/plan? etc, etc.

If u 're quite convinced dat he's fairly okay wit all d abv, then reason d stingy issue with him politely, and make it a point of duty to let him understand that you 're not in any way okay with his stingy habit. Be practical and speak your mind whilst following your heart. All d best!
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Nobody: 10:53pm On Dec 27, 2010
You're not a gold-digger. I would say just talk to him. His reply would give you a better idea of his attitude and you can figure out what you want to do thereon. His attitude now might be an example of something bigger that may arise in the future. This isn’t about him buying you gifts, showering you with material things or giving you money, but deep down what you're truly worried about here is how thoughtful and considerate he is. And these're two important characteristics of a partner, of anyone, for that matter.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Nobody: 11:47pm On Dec 27, 2010
na wa 4 some guys o, IMO i wudnt dare ignore dis issue and say 'oh,relatnship is not about gifts',are you kidding me? Op's not demanding for a brazillian weave on here,she just wants a 'totful' bf n i ges she told us about d gifts she has bot for him before u guys start questioning ha if she has ever given her boyfriend gifts too, the guy is just STINGY and now you cant cope with it anymore, abeg quit wen u can now before u enter d 'for beta for worse stage'
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by livedit(f): 12:37am On Dec 28, 2010
To answer your question, no, you are not a gold digger. Although it's true nobody owes you anything just because you decided to buy him something. But you give a gift as a token of your affection to express to this guy that you care about him and want to show it. Maybe he is not big on giving gifts or maybe he don't have the extra money to spend and ashamed to admit it. What ever the case maybe, obviously you are not happy with this current situation and you need to express that to him in a non-nagging way. Have he ever asked you for any "extra" money? Four years is a long time to spend with somebody and not to be able to ask and get an honest answer as to why he is being a tight wad when it comes to you. It has been my past experience that when my man wasn't spending his money on me, he was definitely spending it on someone else. Alot of women love surprise gifts/flowers. It makes us feel special, loved and appreciated. Until you get a straight answer from him and when you do, if he is not willing to compromise with you, I wouldn't marry him. Because at this rate, he will probably have you to pay for it.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Nobody: 1:01am On Dec 28, 2010
^^^^^ as much as you made plenty of sense, i completely DISAGREE with the fact that you think that when a man is not spending on you, he "may" be spending it on someone else.

he could be careful with money, gambling, addicted in some expensive "hobby", investing it for the future etc. you can only think that he may be giving gifts to someone else IF he was generous before and suddenly stopped,which is definitely NOT the case in the OP story.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Moralistli(m): 1:24am On Dec 28, 2010
as much as you made plenty of sense, i completely DISAGREE with the fact that you think that when a man is not spending on you, he "may" be spending it on someone else.

he could be careful with money, gambling, addicted in some expensive "hobby", investing it for the future etc. you can only think that he may be giving gifts to someone else IF he was generous before and suddenly stopped,which is definitely NOT the case in the OP story.


Nothin happens 4 nothin,,,,,,,,,,,,,''Assumptions'' and either way is quite possible.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by iice(f): 3:28am On Dec 28, 2010
MRbrownJAY:

^^^^^ as much as you made plenty of sense, i completely DISAGREE with the fact that you think that when a man is not spending on you, he "may" be spending it on someone else.

he could be careful with money, gambling, addicted in some expensive "hobby", investing it for the future etc. you can only think that he may be giving gifts to someone else IF he was generous before and suddenly stopped,which is definitely NOT the case in the OP story.

Agreed.
Some men also like to spend on themselves. Spending on someone else doesn't come so easily.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by playette4u: 4:05am On Dec 28, 2010
For a healthier relationship it is better to discuss your fears with your partner because financial issues can breed resentment which can even lead to break up of relationships.People dont like to talk about money but it has to be done to avoid complications later.Good luck!
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by chika98: 4:34am On Dec 28, 2010
I haven't got a clue what everyone else is on about but OP it is categorically wrong for anyone to date someone without getting them a little something from time to time. We buy random gifts for family So why not someone you're romantically involved with?

I am not saying you should sit around and expect things from him or think it is okay for him to provide your basic essentials BUT to date you for that long and never spoil you? Absolute fuckery! Leave him.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Girl846(f): 7:46am On Dec 28, 2010
Dont worry dear, your are not a gold digger or selfish.
Its most girls nature to want to be pampered and given a gift once in a while.
However, I can tell that it is not your bf's nature to do such - some boys like to show love in other ways.

If you sincerely love him, this trait should not be too much of an obstruction, because if you get married, whatever is his is also yours.
But if you really cannot stand it, perhaps have a talk with him and tell him what you want.

This is not such a good reason to dump a guy if he hasn't really done anything else wrong.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by deniyor: 1:39pm On Dec 28, 2010
dump him and see what's out there for you.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by davidif: 5:53am On Jul 19, 2014
Gold digger alert!
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Youngpo413: 9:00am On Nov 29, 2014
havilla:
We go out once in a while but most of the time he prefers we stay in the car and talk. Am getting really bored with the relationship.


oh he even has a car,,he is stingy just dump him joor ...you are a very good lady...but wait o,since 2010?sorry my bad.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Elxandre(m): 12:38am On Dec 12, 2018
Did you marry him? lipsrsealed cool
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Tunjibalogun: 11:29pm On Oct 11, 2022
havilla:
I have been dating this guy since 2006 and he has only given me a gift once, which was during my birthday.he doesn't give me any surprises, doesn't credit my phone once in a while(although I don't ask),when I try and hint him that I don't have money to make my hair his reply is "why don't u have money and that's it. when i travelled the first time I got him a nice perfume, next time a t-shirt and then a ysl shirt. He is actually the only guy I've dated so I don't know if its me or that's how other relationships are, but when I hear my friends talking it seems that's not the case. Now his talking about marriage and I don't want a stingy husband. Pls do u think am being inconsiderate or a gold digger?? Sincere answers pls.
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