ProtectMyMoney:


Women! Follow what is written in the book of Proverbs...virtuous woman

Hirelings like you are peeps who make a mockery of Christianity.

1 Timothy 5:8 King James Version (KJV)
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

holocron:


You are a wise woman. Such balanced reasoning and judgement are beyond the capabilities of most women (no offense intended).

Thanks.

It's because of thinking like this that I thought funding a Nigerian life partner would be though fort me.

However, there are plenty Nigerian women who believe in equality and equity. They are few but they're there.

PrimadonnaO:
Now, I know this is going to be controversial, but I really don't care for crowd cheering. For the sake of clarity, and so everyone is able to weigh their options carefully, I'd like to state a few things.

Marrying a woman who earns is really great, it would make life a lot easier. But there are so many things you must consider.

1. Most men marry in their early to mid-30s. Are you marrying a girl who's your age mate? If she's between 22 to 27, then she's probably just leaving school or rounding off with NYSC. Excuse me, Sir, did you did you get financially stable right after school? If not, please marry your mate who's in her 30s. Oh, wait a minute, y'all call them evening newspapers!

2. Do you realise that life is in stages, and these phases come at different times for different people? So she's not earning today, is that how things will be forever?

3. You must realise that you should marry a woman who can live within your means... who can be content with what you're able to provide. Anything other than that will simply frustrate you. Why do you think you commonly find men marrying below their status?

4. No matter how much you wish things were different, women are not naturally wired to be providers. From the beginning of time, it was Adam who was cursed to till the ground for his daily bread, not Eve. That one was cursed with tortuous childbearing. So if you make a woman do the things that you're supposed to do, you'll create anarchy in your home. She'll most likely be disgruntled and it will start manifesting in her actions.
If you're tired of being or don't know how to be a man, just come as a woman in your next life.

In a house she's paying rent for you want to start keeping late nights, or having shady movements, or having her tether to the needs of all your village people who troop in by the hour. Hahahahaa. She'll throw you out!

5. Some of you men talking about the women in your offices, did they tell you they split bills 50/50 with their husbands? I have lots of female colleagues, and women talk. You guys know nothing!

6. Even if she's gainfully employed or running a thriving business, I think the mindset that she must split bills with you is a problematic one. Yes, it is natural that when she earns, she would help around with bills in the home. But don't bank on it... don't make your plans around your wife's income. A man's primary responsibility is to provide for his home, anything else is support, assistance, and you know what those words mean, yeah? If the rent or kids school fees get due before you're able to pay it, no hassles l'll pay it ASAP, but I'll be expecting a refund!
My area of support without expecting reimbursement are;
If you bring 100k for monthly upkeep, and the foodstuff or things I want to do around the house require more than that, I'll make up the balance without stress.
If the gas runs out before you get to refill, I'll top up.
I'll fuel my car myself, buy all my weaves, and maintain my wardrobe myself.
I can give my children whatever treat I feel like, make them look good, without asking you.
If the utility bill comes when you're not home, I pay up.
I buy you random gifts, and throw surprise birthday parties for you.
If you need a loan, I give to you, and you pay back with interest!
Should you fall on hard times, and your income isn't coming in, I'll naturally step up and take care of everything until you get back on your feet.

Having said all that, a woman who earns tangibly is actually doing herself a world of good. Personally, I can't for the life of me fathom why anyone would want to be a fulltime housewife. But it's not in my place to criticise. Everyone's got their peculiar preferences. I understand the need to be very much involved in my children's lives.
Actually, I'm still wracking my head on how to get around that when the time comes... build a solid career, raise intelligent and very well-behaved Godly children, look after my home and husband...
So maybe some women simply see holding a job and achieving all these as an impossible task. Some men, too, simply prefer to have fulltime housewives for their unique reasons. Each man to his own.

All the long story summarily is;
1. You want to marry a woman who's earning money... think about her age and prospects.
2. Even if she's earning, providing for the family still remains your chief responsibility. That's what being a man is.
3. Stop condemning people who would rather be, or marry housewives. It's their call. Not yours.

truthsayer009:


I never disputed that, Men have been held to the same standard for years, Nobody complained. Now we begin to hold women to certain standards.
It now becomes a problem, the goal post has shifted.

Realistically a lady between 26 - 29 years should have a job of atleast 70 - 80k in today's Nigeria. What do you bring to the table if your earning power is just 30k ehn? WHAT?!

I don't know why everyone is suddenly pretending that life ends on Nairaland.

This got me angry. Anyway, maybe you mean 70 - 80k per week, because I do not see how someone earning between that range a month could be proud of herself, if it is all about money as you make it seem.

PrimadonnaO:


You just deliberately choose to twist things...plus that's why I asked that you state what this contribution looks like... how it's done.
That is not anything like "my money is mine, your money is ours."
If it were, that money would only be expended on the wife's sole needs, and that's it. Not a single house bill will be taken care of from there... everything that concerns the children has to come from their father, too.
Plus you were the one who started this 70-80k income ni! Have you forgot that's the premise we're discussing? Which house are they saving up to buy from 80k salary? Lol.

80k is not small depending on the state... Earning 80k in Akure or Ibadan beta pass earning 250k and 200k respectively in Lagos when you factor cost of living

LordKO:
I don't see a need for long story; man marry a woman with whom you're in synchronization, provided that she's conscientious and has altruistic interest towards you (and vice versa). A conscientious woman (or man) is a resourceful woman, whether or not she has money/earns money directly. Once you've a source of income/can provide for the family, every other thing is secondary, if not irrelevant in this regard - this doesn't make dual income from both parties bad in any way. Resourcesfulness is the ultimate sign of responsibleness, not money itself.

A husband and wife are partners, but they aren't in partnership/competition. So, the idea of a couple earning dual income for the purpose of sharing bills is nonsense as far as I'm concerned. Money remains what it's, a means to an end. It can never be an end. Whosoever that has it at any point in time should spend it cheerfully for the benefit of self and others around them.

Oneness remains the soul of marriage, and there can't be oneness where there's no mutual altruism.

Well said...

PrimadonnaO:


Men should only date graduate ladies who are 26 and above then?

I laff when I saw this...graduates are too troublesome....

bigpicture001:


I laff when I saw this...graduates are too troublesome....

So you want to date an illiterate or semi-literate?

PrimadonnaO:


So you want to date an illiterate or semi-literate?

Its not a bad idea...they love completely.

The graduate Ines are too troublesome..

bigpicture001:


Its not a bad idea...they love completely.

The graduate Ines are too troublesome..

LOL. You're joking.

What are the issues that come with being a graduate?

In this 21st century, you'd think to marry an illiterate? So many cons dear. So many. I bet you think that they're humble.. but you've not seen insecurity and intimidation reading their ugly heads.

PrimadonnaO:


LOL. You're joking.

What are the issues that come with being a graduate?

In this 21st century, you'd think to marry an illiterate? So many cons dear. So many. I bet you think that they're humble.. but you've not seen insecurity and intimidation reading their ugly heads.

Number one thing men love in relationship is not money contribution from the partner....but submission by them..graduates don't given you that... I too sabi is too much with them...

That y they divorce too much

bigpicture001:


Number one thing men love in relationship is not money contribution from the partner....but submission by them..graduates don't given you that... I too sabi is too much with them...

That y they divorce too much

LOL. I go in peace.

PrimadonnaO:


LOL. You're joking.

What are the issues that come with being a graduate?

In this 21st century, you'd think to marry an illiterate? So many cons dear. So many. I bet you think that they're humble.. but you've not seen insecurity and intimidation reading their ugly heads.

Very true

bigpicture001:


Number one thing men love in relationship is not money contribution from the partner....but submission by them..graduates don't given you that... I too sabi is too much with them...

That y they divorce too much

H

lilyheaven:

You were saying something tangible until you said graduates are not submissive,
It’s an individual thing.
I used to believe in sharing bills, Been an orphan, I started working early to settle bills,
After I got married, My husband had a different idea,
I started having issues with my husband, he said all I was Doing is working , not having time for him, anyways he was right, we started fighting, he said he was not interested in my money, I should sit at home and have babies, all my friends, siblings adviced me I should not quite my job for a man, but I had no peace at home, he even accused me of cheating on him with a colleague, finally I gave up , I resigned.
Yes I did resigned.
Since Then, it’s four years already, we have not had any argument, let alone of fight. We have babies now.
It’s true he tries everything to see me comfortable and happy, but most times I still feel odd seeing myself not practicing my profession.

U can see u did a lot of argument b4 u were subdued....

If not for external pressure u will fight toe to toe with ur hubby...bcuz of ur degree..and maybe end in divorce..... I tell u graduate gals are troublesome

bigpicture001:


U can see u did a lot of argument b4 u were subdued....

If not for external pressure u will fight toe to toe with ur hubby...bcuz of ur degree..and maybe end in divorce..... I tell u graduate gals are troublesome

Really, I hope you would have given up, if you were in my position.
You don’t know house wife is stressful

truthsayer009:


They are not single because they have no one chasing them, they have set standards that some Men haven't been able to meet & that is their cup of tea. When they eventually meet their match, they will settle & live a happy life. Even if they don't life goes on.

Women now have almost the same opportunities such as Men in different sectors, Engineering, Medicine, Oil.

Why shouldn't I pick a woman who has her life together as oppose to you who is barely surviving. That is my point.

Meanwhile when you decide to pick a man, you would go for the BEST, so who is Fooling who?

truthsayer009:


They are not single because they have no one chasing them, they have set standards that some Men haven't been able to meet & that is their cup of tea. When they eventually meet their match, they will settle & live a happy life. Even if they don't life goes on.

Women now have almost the same opportunities such as Men in different sectors, Engineering, Medicine, Oil.

Why shouldn't I pick a woman who has her life together as oppose to you who is barely surviving. That is my point.

Meanwhile when you decide to pick a man, you would go for the BEST, so who is Fooling who?

truthsayer009:


They are not single because they have no one chasing them, they have set standards that some Men haven't been able to meet & that is their cup of tea. When they eventually meet their match, they will settle & live a happy life. Even if they don't life goes on.

Women now have almost the same opportunities such as Men in different sectors, Engineering, Medicine, Oil.

Why shouldn't I pick a woman who has her life together as oppose to you who is barely surviving. That is my point.

Meanwhile when you decide to pick a man, you would go for the BEST, so who is Fooling who?

......


Meanwhile when you decide to pick a man, you would go for the BEST, so who is Fooling who?...


I think is high time we men start to consider things like this....
Because before a lady will say yes to any man she must have considered things like..
he have future
He have car
He have house
He's earning well
He can take care of all my bills.... Etc

So if a lady can go for d best why can't we men too start going for the best

I think is high time we men wise up o

lilyheaven:

Really, I hope you would have given up, if you were in my position.
You don’t know house wife is stressful

I don't totally believe in my wife not working....but that what your husband wants....

Life of partnership and understanding is easier with non graduate ladies...

Graduate gals are too demanding...not of money I mean but things only rich people can provide

bigpicture001:


I don't totally believe in my wife not working....but that what your husband wants....

Life of partnership and understanding is easier with non graduate ladies...

Graduate gals are too demanding...not of money I mean but things only rich people can provide

I’m shaking my head left and then right.
You eeh!