Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,775,396 members, 6,611,452 topics. Date: Wednesday, 01 December 2021 at 11:01 AM

Married Men - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married Men (1364 Views)

Why Are Married Men Quiet And Condone Rubbish In Their Homes? / Advice From Married Men Who Married Within The Last Five Years / Married Men, Can You Tolerate This? And Married Ladies Are You All The Same? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Married Men by Imogenn(f): 11:13am On Apr 03, 2020
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?
Re: Married Men by donbachi(m): 11:17am On Apr 03, 2020
Abeg show me picture or video were lion and fowl dey same place 4 zoo.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men by ojun50(m): 11:23am On Apr 03, 2020
donbachi:
Abeg show me picture or video were lion and fowl dey same place 4 zoo.
I go send wait small
Re: Married Men by thorpido(m): 12:18pm On Apr 03, 2020
Yes,it is possible.It is not every relationship between people of opposite sex that leads to a sexual relationship.
It is important though that they do not meet in secret but can only meet in open places

2 Likes

Re: Married Men by crackkhaus: 12:21pm On Apr 03, 2020
thorpido:
Yes,it is possible.It is not every relationship between people of opposite sex that leads to a sexual relationship.
It is important though that they do not meet in secret but can only meet in open places
Lol, just friends...but they cannot meet in secret, only in open places. grin

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men by UjuJoan2: 12:26pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?

No it's not possible.

Resist thw Devil and he will flee from you.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Men by crackkhaus: 12:27pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?
It's possible, but not advisable.

I'd rather talk, gist, get advise, and spend time with male friends than with female friends.
And this is coming from someone with lots of friends of the opposite sex, most I've known for over 10yrs.

Personally, and from experience, they usually end up catching feelings.

3 Likes

Re: Married Men by thorpido(m): 12:59pm On Apr 03, 2020
crackkhaus:

Lol, just friends...but they cannot meet in secret, only in open places. grin
Why do they need to meet in secret?They are just friends and not lovers.
Re: Married Men by lilmax(m): 12:59pm On Apr 03, 2020
As long as he keeps his money to himself


That means no hanging out


Now what do you think?
Re: Married Men by Nobody: 1:08pm On Apr 03, 2020
You're trespassing on her territory. Leave her husband alone.
Re: Married Men by Vyolet(f): 1:08pm On Apr 03, 2020
They can be friends but there should be a limit to their interactions.
It goes both way, man and woman.
Re: Married Men by crackkhaus: 1:09pm On Apr 03, 2020
thorpido:
Why do they need to meet in secret?They are just friends and not lovers.
What would you classify as a secret meeting?

Is visiting each other in their respective homes and being alone together part of it?
If this is the case and they are trying to avoid stories, then perhaps it's not a sustainable friendship afterall.
Re: Married Men by bukatyne(f): 1:47pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?

Can a married man keep no-strings attached close friendship with a female? YES

Should a married man keep a no-strings attached close friendship with a female? NO.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Married Men by 24kmagic: 1:57pm On Apr 03, 2020
Re: Married Men by frozen70(f): 3:03pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?

It depends on the affection they have for each other

They can be close but no affection
Re: Married Men by ibkayee(f): 3:09pm On Apr 03, 2020
frozen70:


It depends on the affection they have for each other

They can be close but no affection
And since this isn't guaranteed, feelings can change and just out of respect for his spouse, the wisest thing to do is steer clear

1 Like

Re: Married Men by LordKO(m): 3:47pm On Apr 03, 2020
All of you who said it's not advisable are actually right. The ironic thing, however, is that most of you in this category are still the ones who'll term a married man who objected the idea of his wife keeping a close friendship/non-formal relationship with another mature man (married or not) either a controlling man or an insecure man.

Friendliness with the deserving all and sundry (including associates/colleagues) is advisable, but friendship (which oftentimes results to overfamiliarity, contempt, entitlement, treachery and frenemity in general when established with the wrong person) with anyone other than the partner isn't advisable - friendliness isn't the same thing as friendship. Meanwhile, the only difference between friendship and love is that unlike love friendship has no observable biological necessities, yet it doesn't automatically neutralize feelings - so it's better for one to have only their spouse as their close friend also.

A married person (or a person in a committed relationship) should only have their partner as their close friend. Anything other than this, either one (or both) of the parties in the needles over-familiarity action has a selfish desire to accomplish directly or indirectly - be it sexual or material or immaterial desire.

9 Likes

Re: Married Men by babyfaceafrica: 3:57pm On Apr 03, 2020
Not advisable.. Don't let petrol near faya... Make everybody dey in lane
Re: Married Men by culf: 4:10pm On Apr 03, 2020
yes, its possible and I'm an example.
Re: Married Men by culf: 4:18pm On Apr 03, 2020
we have spoilt our world.


we really need to change our orientation and mindset, everything should not be sex, sex sex.

Every relationship between a male and a female mustn't end in sex and opposite sex visiting you don't necessarily mean sex must be involved.


I really pity most guy. Guys are sooo cheat, must you sleep with anything on skirt, how many will you sleep it?


we seriously need personal discipline when it comes to sex and relationship/friendship will opposite sex
Re: Married Men by Imogenn(f): 4:34pm On Apr 03, 2020
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?

1 Like

Re: Married Men by Pavore9: 4:41pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?

It is safer you keep your distance.
Re: Married Men by LordKO(m): 5:15pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?

Change from being a friend of her husband to being friendly with him. She, not you, deserves the friendship of her husband - her actions and inactions towards you may not necessarily mean that she's possessive, even if she's, it's her husband's duty to be worried about it, not you.

5 Likes

Re: Married Men by Donald3d(m): 5:55pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?

Can a person drive for 1 hour at a consistent speed of 200 km/hr and survive it- Yes, its possible.
Should the person do it ?- No

It goes both ways, no married person should be too close to the opposite sex.

1 Like

Re: Married Men by Nobody: 5:57pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?
You must be. Your communication with her husband is probably excessive and the things he's doing with you (gisting, advice-giving, chatting endlessly on Whatsapp) he should be doing with his wife, or a male friend, not you. Put yourself in her shoes and see how you'll be if another woman is this close with your husband.
Re: Married Men by Donald3d(m): 6:05pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?

You wouldn't blame her. She is guarding her territory .

If you were in her shoes you would understand how it feels.

There is a very thin line between true friendship and love or lust...That thin line is very easily crossed when opposite sex is involved, even when it was never the intention, in most cases, sooner or later, the line would be crossed.

Please keep your friendship as casual as possible, you don't need to speak to him everyday.
You don't need to seek advise from him all the time, even if he is good at giving them.
If you have a spouse please switch those gestures to him.

She most likely doesn't hate you, she just hates the fact that you are too close to her husband, and she sees it as a threat.

3 Likes

Re: Married Men by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:27pm On Apr 03, 2020
Keep a distance from the married man, it is very wrong to be unnecessarily attached to a man who is married. You can get close to a fellow female in the office. Most of the single ladies who finally dated married men, were colleagues, cashual friends, etc, till feelings developed. His wife is right to be angry.
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?
Re: Married Men by thorpido(m): 8:56pm On Apr 03, 2020
crackkhaus:

What would you classify as a secret meeting?

Is visiting each other in their respective homes and being alone together part of it?
If this is the case and they are trying to avoid stories, then perhaps it's not a sustainable friendship afterall.
Being alone together isn't part of it.Visits to each other's homes isn't part of it too except she can visit the man's family at home.They can meet at the office,church,parties or public gatherings.
I have single female friends.We chat on phone and see at public places .I honestly do not see a big deal in it as long as they both have clearly defined boundaries.
The female friends I have,I don't know their houses and they do not come to mine.We chat on phones and see when we get to see in public.
Re: Married Men by thorpido(m): 9:07pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?
In your own case,I'll say steer clear.There's already an issue and the wife in this case has the whole right.
Nothing wrong having the man as a friend but where do you see,how often do you talk e.t.c.?If you actually take a substantial time of the day with him,then you should give space.

1 Like

Re: Married Men by 234GT(m): 10:08pm On Apr 03, 2020
bukatyne:


Can a married man keep no-strings attached close friendship with a female? YES

Should a married man keep a no-strings attached close friendship with a female? NO.

Unfortunately, I can't give your post 1 million likes. This post deserves more than just 1 like.

1 Like

Re: Married Men by Nobody: 10:59pm On Apr 03, 2020
Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?
She is possessive of her God given and legal territory.
Concentrate on praying that your own man will find you.
Relate with them both, not only the man from a distance.

1 Like

Re: Married Men by Nobody: 2:17am On Apr 04, 2020
I will advice that the single lady friend should also become friends with the man's wife. I am single and I have a few married men as my friends. But I also made sure their wives are my friends too even though I know I am closer to the men than their wives. If they have children, be close to the children too. So that everybody will see the woman as a friend and not a threat.

My family also knows these married men that are my friends. Let them just make sure that everyone that needs to know is aware of the relationship. That way, everyone will have a clear mind.

Some of my married male friends started to link me up with single guys that they think will be good for me. I think it's fine for anybody to be friends so long as it's not a secret thing so that stakeholders don't start to think otherwise.

I am friends with these men because we are in same career paths. We exchange technical stuffs, exchange books or help each other prepare for an exam. These married men and I are like carrier buddies. We push each other to be better. And I see them as my mentors. That's why I am really close to them.

3 Likes

(1) (2) (Reply)

For Your Installation Of Dstv & Free To Air Channels / This Is How We Are Encouraging Rape Culture / This is One and Major Reason Why People Do Fall Sick Often

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 138
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.