Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Hmmmm... This is confusing... Go and pray about it first...

The matter is deep but nothing kills the fact say your guy na bad belle
Move away from anything that has to do with him, family or business go and stand on your own and dont allow him into your life, family, business and all
Go get someone else

Go to cediland bro.

The one with spiritual problem might be your friend and not his wife’s family. Besides a man that can make a pass at your girlfriend ( if that’s true sha )isn’t loyal and cannot be trusted in business .

blaise26abj:
Go to cediland bro.

The one with spiritual problem might be your friend and not his wife’s family. Besides a man that can make a pass at your girlfriend ( if that’s true sha )isn’t loyal and cannot be trusted in business .

lol..I am a Nigerian,but I live in Ghana. Yes he made a pass at my girlfriend, why she I lie about that?

Dollarheist:
The matter is deep but nothing kills the fact say your guy na bad belle
Move away from anything that has to do with him family or business go and stand on your own and dont allow him into your life, family, business and all
Go get someone else

Thanks bro

Lamanii22:
Hmmmm... This is confusing... Go and pray about it first...

yes I am praying about it,Thanks.

Nawa for you sef. Must all your love affairs tangle with your friend? It happened before, now the second time again. Business with your friend is okay... Look for your love life somewhere else. Tying business and love around same person is not wise. Be independent in ur love life Biko. It can crumble the trust and business fate you both have in each other... someone who wanted to snatch your former gf..and you still no wan wise up.

Besides, as someone who has been in marriage before you, and who understands d battles he's facing, I'd advice you heed his advice.

With the combination of the two points above, Bros go and find your beautiful love somewhere else. Simple!

Help2020:
Hi nairalanders.I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys helps with meaningful comment whenever someone request for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now..

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

Here's my take...

You friend cannot be trusted since he once tried to take advantage of your girlfriend although it could be argued that he did that due to immaturity and youthful exuberance.

However concerning his advice now about not marrying into his wife's family I would not ignore it if I were you

I had one policy, always get a woman whom your close contacts do not know. It helps to avoid drama and problems.
As for your situation, it may or may not be true. If you love her so much then take your chances and be prepared for whatever challenges you meet.

He tried kissing your gf in 2014, he is discouraging you from marrying your love in 2020. Bros,pls no vex. Are you a simpleton? Sorry sir.

favoryte33:
He tried kissing your gf in 2014, he is discouraging you from marrying your love in 2020. Bros,pls no vex. Are you a simpleton? Sorry sir.

No bro,I am not gullible..

zed7:
I had one policy, always get a woman whom your close contacts do not know. It helps to avoid drama and problems.
As for your situation, it may or may not be true. If you love her so much then take your chances and be prepared for whatever challenges you meet.

Bro,my story is true.it took me time to type this post,why would I waste my time typing false story,what's my gain in doing that..As for your advice thanks a lot.

Help2020:
Bro,my story is true.it took me time to type this post,why would I waste my time typing false story,what's my gain in doing that..As for your advice thanks a lot.

Did I doubt you?

Don't be in a rush to marry the girl whether she has spiritual problem or not.
Take your time and know her more, discuss things of the spirit with her then pray and solve issues together. Behave like ur married already cos from your write up it seems you both are only attracted to each other physically and sexually.
One more thing, if you want to help her build a life of financial freedom do it without fear and regrets.
Break the barriers my guy.

zed7:

Did I doubt you?

Sorry I just found out I misquoted you.I wanted to quote someone else

evil1:
Don't be in a rush to marry the girl whether she has spiritual problem or not.
Take your time and know her more, discuss things of the spirit with her then pray and solve issues together. Behave like ur married already cos from your write up it seems you both are only attracted to each other physically and sexually.
One more thing, if you want to help her build a life of financial freedom do it without fear and regrets.
Break the barriers my guy.

I almost got deceived by your Monika. Pls you're not the evil one,your advice is Godly and very well appreciated. believe me I am going to take something useful out of it..Thank you brother

my brother damn all consequences. If you truly love that young lady then go for her...take a day off in isolation and try to listen to your heart. You will get all the answers you need to proceed.

..for me,I think there is no corroletion BTW the event of 2014 nd now..yes its the same guy...but sometimes temptation do worry guys when it comes to very sexy lady......

Now on this new one..I am convinced he is just not comfortable that you two are marrying from same family..that makes his family not private anymore...his in law would now portray him to you in different light as it pleases her...

Honestly most men don't like it..not that they they would kill to stop it....me ,myself I don't think I would like it...

Common my guy trying to also date my gf's sister annoyed me way back when....

So he is simply reacting,Something that is normal..what your trying to do is not wrong, would have been better if you had some space with him concerning his family..

Biz can go on cuz u never complained abt his biz relationship

Cholls:
my brother damn all consequences. If you truly love that young lady then go for her...take a day off in isolation and try to listen to your heart. You will get all the answers you need to proceed.

Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

my brother don't worry go for her! What ever message your heart decides to reveal at this present needs, is the one you should follow not the one from Me,your Friend, or any Seer.

Help2020:
I almost got deceived by your Monika. Pls you're not the evil one,your advice is Godly and very well appreciated. believe me I am going to take something useful out of it..Thank you brother

I appreciate and thanks for not been deceived my moniker

Bitter minded guys, mingle but don't mingle too much

What does your God have to say about all these? Or have you not consulted him yet

Headlesschicken:
What does your God have to say about all these? Or have you not consulted him yet

Of course I have been praying about it even before I met her,and I believe the conviction I have about her is a way of God saying she is mine.She is the type I have always wanted and have been praying about.

Cholls:
my brother don't worry go for her! What ever message your heart decides to reveal at this present needs, is the one you should follow not the one from Me,your Friend, or any Seer.

Thank you.

If I understood your write up clearly, He initially gave his consent and all of a sudden will not want you to marry the said girl,this says a lot about this your friend. I think it's high time you went solo on your business plans cos if you go on and marry the girl,the inevitable is bound to happen(bad blood between you two)....The more reason pleasure and business should not be mixed. I understand in this case you found love here which isn't entirely your fault but you gotta pick one and move on. Saying he's fighting spiritual battles is just a baseless excuse to discourage you from going ahead with your plans..stay ten steps ahead and never reaveal much of ur plans to this your friend going forward.

Kevsmart88:
If I understood your write up clearly, He initially gave his consent and all of a sudden will not want you to marry the said girl,this says a lot about this your friend. I think it's high time you went solo on your business plans cos if you go on and marry the girl,the inevitable is bound to happen(bad blood between you two)....The more reason pleasure and business should not be mixed. I understand in this case you found love here which isn't entirely your fault but you gotta pick one and move on. Saying he's fighting spiritual battles is just a baseless excuse to discourage you from going ahead with your plans..stay ten steps ahead and never reaveal much of ur plans to this your friend going forward.

Thank you very much..I am really thinking about cutting ties with him,but that also mean breaking up with the girl which is never going to be easy with me,I believe God will see me through this anyway..

There are questions you should be asking your friend like;
1. When he gave his consent initially did he not know that there is a curse on the girls family?
2. The curse that he claims to be fighting from his wife's family can he point to anything tangible that you can relate with?
3. If it is true he is fighting a spiritual battle then how did he know it is from the wife's family.

You need to understand that it is not every body you should listen to when it comes to spiritual counsel as regards who you want to marry. I had an experience about a self acclaimed prophetes who told me not to marry my wife because of spiritual reasons from her family. I ignored her and went ahead with my marriage and we are still happily married with kids.

Help2020:
Hi nairalanders.I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys helps with meaningful comment whenever someone request for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend name Victor,(real name) a Ghanian..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together..Before I present the real deal now,let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with,and we starting dating..one day I was not around when my(Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl(my girl) and tried to kiss her.....

She was a flashing girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl..when my girl,(now ex) told me,I was angry but decide not to ask him.and it died like that.

Sadly on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways,but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply...so I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2months ago my friend victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife sister(real name Abigail) who now live with them..Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view..I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail. Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on,that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them,and I quit understand..

About 2weeks on Abigail accepted my proposer and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me,and beside I am handsome (lol),pardon me I was just quoting her..


So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor(Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife,how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife.so I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house.. As I was discussing with him,he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.
HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY.. So I thanked him I said to him that I will try to pray about it..That I know many family have some spiritual battle, but I will try and fight the battle....


Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me?or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget..he also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife,I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@seun. Lalasticlala, pls help me move this to front page,I need urgent help pls

That man is just bitter and sentimental.
I love challenges, what about you?
Spiritual battles, right?!
Put on your spiritual Armour and wife that lady.
Her brother-in-law left nyansh.

My opinion is that you shouldn't just ignore his advice completely. Take it slow on the marriage process and be very observant and vigilant and more importantly get spiritual as in prayerful and also pray with people that are more spiritual than you. Everything will be fine in the end.