FarmTech:

.
If a wife must work, it shud not be at the expense of time with the children. And this idea of men getting into marriage with the mindset that their wives will support them is not good at all.

u r right, but most women wants to work these days and make their own money.

"More so, expecting a Nigerian guy(particularly a foreign student) to have it all figured out( be rich, handsome, sociable, this and that) at the age of 22 is insane."

This up there is the problem. Why can't you date out? Must you date a Nigerian?

lordeoregon:


Hahahahahaha...very true. My cousin's wife is Yoruba and she has been the breadwinner in their home for the past 3 years since he lost his job when oil price crashed in 2016, and many companies laid off their workers. She's a junior partner at her father's law practice and her husband now preps the kids for school every morning while she gets set for work. He keeps busy as an uber driver while the kids are at school, then picks and drops them everyday.

Humility, communication and perseverance has kept that family together.

When life throw curve balls at you

You manoeuvre and make the best out of it

fujirice:


Don’t rush to reply, cool down and read what I wrote, digest it then edit your reply.
Thank you

I read your post

And what I said you did is what you did

You were not happy he painted African way the way he did

And st the same time tagged another's way of life as warped


African way of life is not a total write off
Tho It needs some modification here and there

But no call another man way warped if you think your own is not warped

That's my point

uuzba:

Lonely people making noise

I studied overseas as well. It didn't take 1 month for me to notice the extreme loneliness.
By 5 months, nothing was funny again
I kept in touch with my Nigerian girlfriend. She didn't understand anything yet
She got scholarship and also came overseas. She sef saw the loneliness.
Na 2 of us wan finish the whole Skype everyday.
When pepper refused to rest, we informed our parents and friends, did marriage course, went to church and married.
Nobody in the whole overseas could be a friend to me and her.
We carried ourselves and returned to Nigeria.

Leave Oyibo and their wierd loneliness culture.

Bros how much is the loneliness? is that they avoid you or they naturally don't like associating. cos here in naija, I try to avoid people like fuc

HeavenlyCherub:


Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

Ok, from your post, you said Marriage is not an accomplishment.
Pls, can you list some of the things we can assume are accomplishment?
Just want to know and enlighten myself more.

emmaodet:


Ok, from your post, you said Marriage is not an accomplishment.
Pls, can you list some of the things we can assume are accomplishment?
Just want to know and enlighten myself more.

I wrote an answer for you, but decided to delete it. Please feel free to make your own assumptions. What ever you believe the answer to be, it is correct.

HeavenlyCherub:


I wrote an answer for you, but decided to delete it. Please feel free to make your own assumptions. What ever you believe the answer to be, it is correct.

Lol.
Which means, you never answered my question in the first place.
So, let us leave it that way.
Over and out.

The curse of the woman is emotional, relational. That is the way nature designed her. She was made for the man and when that is unattainable she moved to her children, after that maybe pets, that why we have so many pets here. Feminist are trying hard to reverse this. But its impossible. So they derive satisfaction from the strength of their relationships.

Just as it is for a woman, a man's curse is to labour all the days of his life. To succeed. To be economically balanced. And financially independent. A man derives satisafcation for his job/work/hustle

With the ratio of women to men increasing. And the prophesy of 7 to1. Not all women will be married. Some women will have to share thier man.

If you girls climb down from your high horse. You will get a man , consider sponsoring an already hard working man in 9ja. Dont look at the help u are doing for him, see it as you are investing in your future kids. And do the best you can to be gentle, kind and homely armed with the fact that he may still misbehave. This is a better option than running out of eggs and dying lonely.

Even here in Australia. I always desired to marry a 9ja babe....but with what I see here, I might end up with a lady from another nation.

I am so glad I am a man. Feel for my 9ja sisters.

fuckpro:

Get the fucking backward unity beggers out of power Let merits be enthroned in all sphere and see what happens

Hey

emmaodet:


Lol.
Which means, you never answered my question in the first place.
So, let us leave it that way.
Over and out.

No I just choose not to. If you choose not to see different perspectives there’s nothing I can do about that. In 2020 I’m just not arguing with anyone. If it doesn’t make me better, make me happier or add to my life. I just don’t make time for it. Protecting my energy and my peace.

emmaodet:


Lol.
Which means, you never answered my question in the first place.
So, let us leave it that way.
Over and out.

No I just choose not to. If you choose not to see different perspectives there’s nothing I can do about that. In 2020 I’m just not arguing with anyone. If it doesn’t make me better, make me happier or add to my life. I just don’t make time for it. Protecting my energy and my peace.

HeavenlyCherub:



No I just choose not to. If you choose not to see different perspectives there’s nothing I can do about that. In 2020 I’m just not arguing with anyone. If it doesn’t make me better, make me happier or add to my life. I just don’t make time for it. Protecting my energy and my peace.

Point of correction - i don't like argument or quarrel too. It adds nothing to me.
When i engage in discussion, it is because i either want to learn something or raise an observation from my own point of view without enforcing it on the other party.
I believe in discussion for positive reasons by improving and not imposing my stand or thinking my view and decisions are the best.

zexy2030:

u r right, but most women wants to work these days and make their own money.

.
They can work. The bible in Psalms even described a good wife as a hardworking person. But the work shud not deprive them of their basic duty as mothers. Else, the children and marriage will suffer. Any lady that will not agree to this during courtship is not worth marrying.

ssegs5:


Yes boss. U can WhatsApp me for more info

I’m good.

Just curious if people were paying that much for real estate rentals on Akala.

I’m motivated. I’m in Moganna Village.

zexy2030:

u r right, but most women wants to work these days and make their own money.

.
I won't argue that. But let such women know that if they fail in their role as mothers, they will regret their 2morrow. Both in this world and b4 God's judgement seat. Working is good. But not the type that will sap most of their time. I know one family where such a thing happened and right now, their daughters are on the way to prostitution.

Leezah:
Check out "linkup" on telegram

or lockdown quarantine

Rawhumper:




























Ur name suits you deae,so sad u passed thru lots and met the wrong ones.
Now am not an abroad freak any longer d business am doin in Abuja is ok fir me its just that Coro wants to obstruct many things.
I have missed chances to b in US my mum was pregnant n travelled to d states but came back a month to her delivery to Naija.In 2005 after i finnished school.I got admission in Coastal Carolina University to study Computer Engineering.I lost the visa interview.I have dated white american SM in the USA who i later found out to be a CIA.Her coming to Naija was a difficult thing as my line here was traced by d CIA it was hell that time.Even her mum a soldier smashed her phone because of me.She got another one and told everything.She was willing to help me to come over but i saw it as my death.She told me she hated her job and life.Wanted a free life she was 25years then.
Everyone has their stories to tell,am content with what i have so dear its not a must u die because of a man.









quote author=HeavenlyCherub post=88279844]

Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

lol...CIA for real??

How did you loose the interview?

Yeah some of d white People online Are secret agents but most People dont know.D Can b working legit in a normal biz or Work.
Dont want to Remember d last bro..it has happened it has happened.
A Girl dat visited me today i told her there is nothing she does i wont understand b4 she tot i was blabbing but afta tryin 2b smart wit me i made her realize i knew Abt dat...i May Look Young but in Experience am a grandfather....when i saw her off,i didnt know some Yahoo Guys dat passed when i was seeing her off were Inside d car waiting 4her patiently at d estate gate to toast her.
I felt it when i later asked her she Said if i hv powers,i laughed.She accepted d indeed stopped her but she ignored dem and crossed d Road n enter keke.Well it May or it may not b true she ignored dem.



















L














quote author=Chuky7 post=88557690]





















...CIA for real??

How did you loose the interview?[/quote]

I Feel Terrible About Your Experiences. And Moreso, The Guy Who Traveled Back To Marry His "Real" Girlfriend After Securing His Papers With Another Lady. I Read About This Quite Often. Why Do Some People Feel It's Okay To Use People As A Means To An End?

HeavenlyCherub:


Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

castrokins:
I Feel Terrible About Your Experiences. And Moreso, The Guy Who Traveled Back To Marry His "Real" Girlfriend After Securing His Papers With Another Lady. I Read About This Quite Often. Why Do Some People Feel It's Okay To Use People As A Means To An End?

That is people for you dear. I can only pray for God to heal me. I don’t think I can ever love again. Even in marriage. To me it will always be a transaction first rather than love

HeavenlyCherub:


That is people for you dear. I can only pray for God to heal me. I don’t think I can ever love again. Even in marriage. To me it will always be a transaction first rather than love

i think humans should do away with love and make it transactional. Love is like exposing your self to danger

Surely, Healing Will Come For You. But You'd Be Willing To Accept The Healing. A Marriage Not Founded On Love Can Only Be Waverying. And So, You'd Have To Deliberately Set Yourself On The Path Of Healing In Order To Marry For Love. I Have Had A Few Bad Relationships In The Past, But I Still Want To Get Married. I Still Want To Love And Be Loved. This Can Only Be Possible If I Reach Out For Love Genuinely And Deliberately, Regardless Of Whatever Happened In The Past.

HeavenlyCherub:


That is people for you dear. I can only pray for God to heal me. I don’t think I can ever love again. Even in marriage. To me it will always be a transaction first rather than love

HeavenlyCherub:


That is people for you dear. I can only pray for God to heal me. I don’t think I can ever love again. Even in marriage. To me it will always be a transaction first rather than love

Life itself is transactional.....always will be

CsRockefeller:


Where are u in Australia? How long have you been there? What's ur tribe (very important)

Melbourne, Under 1 yr, Tribe- Yoruba/Edo, in fact, Lagos boy. I only understand Yoruba.
It would be fun to meet up with Nigerians.

Smile4mee01:


Melbourne, Under 1 yr, Tribe- Yoruba/Edo, in fact, Lagos boy. I only understand Yoruba.
It would be fun to meet up with Nigerians.

Cool but, the lady in question has been there for over 3 years now, she's Igbo and I don't think she will be interested.

She's not even in Melbourne.

Thanks bro.. At least you try.

You deserve one crate of cold bottled origin.

CsRockefeller:


Cool but, the lady in question has been there for over 3 years now, she's Igbo and I don't think she will be interested.

She's not even in Melbourne.

A lot of comments are so disheartening. Everybody is trying to not get burned....or burned again. People have their defences up. Men pass by very good women but have preconceived notions from past experience, their ideals, and unrealistic expectations. And women do the same. The trouble is for people who don't fit into their preconceived notions but are written off already, because everybody has their defences up instead of entering a new relationship healed, learned from past experiences (rather than being bitter), and with a fresh, open mind.

Sometimes, it seems people like drama. When someone doesn't have issues they complained of, then they focus on a minor issue they could have worked on with communication, especially when you are with a good, understanding person. Sometimes, though, one person doesn't open up or is impatient to let the person work on that minor issue that seems so important.

Marriage is for mature people. If you cannot be patient with a partner before marriage, it's going to be difficult dealing with the person later in the long adventure of marriage. Many people, both men and women, spend more time looking for someone who has the superfluous qualities on their checklist. Their hearts are more set on finding someone with those qualities than finding someone with the important qualities that marriage cannot survive without.

In this life, doing things at the right time is important, even for men. Some people are unserious, playing for long and believe time is on their side, but by the time they make up their mind or think is the right time, they end up with less than "ideal" situations and wish they could have done things differently.

People evolve over time. Nobody has it all together from the onset. Even if everything on your checklist for a partner is checked, you will later find some areas for improvement. If you can find someone who has the qualities that marriage cannot survive without, you're good to go. All other superfluous qualities will come easier to develop in that partner.

The issue is knowing the qualities that marriage cannot survive without and knowing how to separate it from superfluous qualities you thought are so important but really are not important for the survival of a good marriage. You and your partner can communicate and work together on those superfluous qualities. Additionally, doing this will draw you together, to understand each other more and bond more, strengthening your relationship.

I just want to say not all marriages between afro Americans and Nigerians are the same.I am married to an (Igbo).He is very ambitious,hard working,a real go getter.It is not the Nigerians fault that they have a care, house,good job within a short time after coming here.Why??because he took advantage of the opportunities surrounding him.A large number of men here booth black and white don't take advantage of opportunities surrounding them everyday.The city where I live,there are no less than 10 places right in this area that are hiring immediately.I love Nigeria, the culture, food.Ok, the average Nigerians man is a little dominant,oga is going to be oga.That is fine by me because I love me a man's man because I am a woman's woman I love taking care of my little family.

FarmTech:

.
If a wife must work, it shud not be at the expense of time with the children. And this idea of men getting into marriage with the mindset that their wives will support them is not good at all.

And we say we want to move 4ward, when you get married and it is called white wedding then waht you described above is what you have just subscribed to, you cant pick and chose!