... Just wondering, you must have been calm enough to handle this situation of urs, very obvious from your post. Taking time to reply every suggestion, every opinion...

I think your parent has some faults too, they both need to sit down.. And have an imaginary replay of how they've been handling you

Have you ever call their attention, possibly sit them down and express how you feel..

Cos you're gradually losing yourself, psychological, emotionally, mentally.. All these as result of the negative input by them...

No parent would want see lose their biological child to any ill-situation.

Seems you have cool relationship with your bro..

Sit him down too and express all this,,

He might have a way to your parent


I pray you get heal and out of this trauma.

Lastly,, no matter how disturbing parent are,, we do need their prayers at one time or the other.

Clear of the thought of disowning them...
It worth asking for forgiveness...

Xone3:

Thanks, I actually have a job and we stay apart. However, I went home due to the covid19 lockdown and things haven't changed within us.
They feel I am proud, disobedient and wayward. All I have ever tried to do was please them. I am not perfect, I am stubborn, hard hearted, kind, firm in my decisions and highly opinionated. Abused at 8, psychologically abused from young till now. Thanks for your comment

There is really no need to disown your family.

obisite:

.... Just wondering, you must have been calm enough to handle this situation of urs, very obvious from your post. Taking time to reply every suggestion, every opinion...

I think your parent has some faults too, they both need to sit down.. And have an imaginary replay of how they've been handling you

Have you ever call their attention, possibly sit them down and express how you feel..

Cos you're gradually losing yourself, psychological, emotionally, mentally.. All these as result of the negative input by them...

No parent would want see lose their biological child to any ill-situation.

Seems you have cool relationship with your bro..

Sit him down too and express all this,,

He might have a way to your parent


I pray you get heal and out of this trauma.

Lastly,, no matter how disturbing parent are,, we do need their prayers at one time or the other.

Clear of the thought of disowning them...
It worth asking for forgiveness...

It doesn't mean she's faultless, or that her parents are solely at fault.
It proves she's been yearning for attention, to be listened to and understood, which is not a bad thing.

obisite:
... Just wondering, you must have been calm enough to handle this situation of urs, very obvious from your post. Taking time to reply every suggestion, every opinion...

I think your parent has some faults too, they both need to sit down.. And have an imaginary replay of how they've been handling you

Have you ever call their attention, possibly sit them down and express how you feel..

Cos you're gradually losing yourself, psychological, emotionally, mentally.. All these as result of the negative input by them...

No parent would want see lose their biological child to any ill-situation.

Seems you have cool relationship with your bro..

Sit him down too and express all this,,

He might have a way to your parent


I pray you get heal and out of this trauma.

Lastly,, no matter how disturbing parent are,, we do need their prayers at one time or the other.

Clear of the thought of disowning them...
It worth asking for forgiveness...

Reasoning with them is not easy/possible. Every one tries to justify their action as right. if I talk to them today, they will change for the day and the next day they will get back to the former way. Your opinions don't matter.

My elder brother is tired of the situation and doesn't want to talk about it. Younger one doesn't have a say.

Xone3:

Also most times my facial expression betrays my tone of voice. If something irks me it shows on my face especially when someone says something that I dont agree with. Or is that why they feel I am proud?

Yes. You probably make fun of people for their mistakes; want everyone to agree with you; love arguments with colleagues and never willing to back down until you 'win'; never willing to say sorry when you make mistakes not because you can't say the 5-letter words but you hardly see yourself making mistakes.

These are personality issues - Choleric. You may have problems securing and sustaining a relationship/marriage unless you find a very tolerating partner. Don't run away from your "problems" (parents). Even your child will come to condemn these traits if left unaddressed in the future. Forget any lie any man tells you about loving "strong women with independent mind."

Acidosis:


Yes. You probably make fun of people for their mistakes; want everyone to agree with you; love arguments with colleagues and never willing to back down until you 'win'; never willing to say sorry when you make mistakes not because you can't say the 5-letter words but you hardly see yourself making mistakes.

These are personality issues - Choleric. You may have problems securing and sustaining a relationship/marriage unless you find a very tolerating partner. Don't run away from your "problems" (parents). Even your child will come to condemn these traits if left unaddressed in the future. Forget any lie any man tells you about loving "strong women with independent mind."

I hardly make fun of people for their mistakes, I am more of a listener and I try to emphasize with people. I don't argue with my colleagues, I discuss and give points to back myself. I say sorry when I am wrong but I don't accept someone attacking me without genuine facts. I make mistakes and accept my flaws but don't over exaggerate it. I. Not perfect hence I don't expect people to be perfect.
Thanks for your point though. I will keep working to get better at my flaws.

Xone3:


I hardly make fun of people for their mistakes, I am more of a listener and I try to emphasize with people. I don't argue with my colleagues, I discuss and give points to back myself. I say sorry when I am wrong but I don't accept someone attacking me without genuine facts. I make mistakes and accept my flaws but don't over exaggerate it. I. Not perfect hence I don't expect people to be perfect.
Thanks for your point though. I will keep working to get better at my flaws.

Alright. It's fine.

My judgements were based on this;

If something irks me it shows on my face especially when someone says something that I dont agree with

Acidosis:


Yes. You probably make fun of people for their mistakes; want everyone to agree with you; love arguments with colleagues and never willing to back down until you 'win'; never willing to say sorry when you make mistakes not because you can't say the 5-letter words but you hardly see yourself making mistakes.

These are personality issues - Choleric. You may have problems securing and sustaining a relationship/marriage unless you find a very tolerating partner. Don't run away from your "problems" (parents). Even your child will come to condemn these traits if left unaddressed in the future. Forget any lie any man tells you about loving "strong women with independent mind."

I am a blend of personality. Either of the two. Yes I usually found it hard to accept authority but I changed along the line because I found out I usually had conflicts with my boss. I really don't agree with the last statement in your post though.

Xone3:


I am a blend of personality. Either of the two. Yes I usually found it hard to accept authority but I changed along the line because I found out I usually had conflicts with my boss. I really don't agree with the last statement in your post though.

Why don't you agree?

Xone3:

Thanks, I actually have a job and we stay apart. However, I went home due to the covid19 lockdown and things haven't changed within us.
They feel I am proud, disobedient and wayward. All I have ever tried to do was please them. I am not perfect, I am stubborn, hard hearted, kind, firm in my decisions and highly opinionated. Abused at 8, psychologically abused from young till now. Thanks for your comment

Read your other posts on this thread. I believe strongly you need therapy. There is a history of abuse, dysfunction, fear and trauma in your childhood and you have embodied it though you are doing a good job of covering it up.

If you don't handle it now, it will so mess you up mentally and your outcomes in life will show it including your relationships. The burdens you are covering can even mess your health up with time.

You are reacting to life now from a place of subconscious pain, anger and resentment. Your reactions to your parents, relatives and to spirituality(to God) is not by the real you. The real you is buried beneath all that pain and fear and anger.

You are angry at the world and angry with God, though your conscious mind might deny it.

Stay away from your parents for now. Take responsibility for your own healing. No blaming or buck passing at this stage. Get a therapist. Get healed. Find your authentic self again.

Forgive your parents as they are acting out of ignorance. If they knew better they would act better. Heal, forgive, then go back to them. The dynamics will change.

Best wishes

Xone3:

Thanks , you made me smile and cry. I am actually not jobless, I have a job that means the world to me but I am tired of being the bad child. The one every family both near and far see as the odd one out. The rebellious one who is disobedient, proud and unruly. The bad influence to the other child. The one that tries to be independent and won't leave her room.

So. Bcoz of this small things, u Wana disown ur family..

It means u were never part of the family.. U r a bast**d.


Many have seen more than this but never tot of wat u think

Xone3:

I dread going home, I keep my shoulders high out of fear of what next I am going to do wrong and get beaten for it. I isolate myself because I don't want to get in trouble or say something bad. However, I am highly outspoken, playful, annoying. They aren't bad actually, they don't understand me and I don't understand them either. They have their opinions and I have mine but no matter what, we haven't been able to understand each other. Dialogue hasn't worked. I don't want them to disown me but I want to severe ties so I don't run mad. It's always like I am not enough, I can never do anything right. Religiously, I am a failure because I am not spiritual. Also, I may never get married because of this. At this point, what I care most about is me and my job.

If ur dad n ur mum don't understand u. Then they don't don't av a problem, it's u dt have a problem

ProfDview1:


So. Bcoz of this small things, u Wana disown ur family..

It means u were never part of the family.. U r a bast**d.


Many have seen more than this but never tot of wat u think

I really don't blame you for being like this. At all.

DeeMain:


Read your other posts on this thread. I believe strongly you need therapy. There is a history of abuse, dysfunction, fear and trauma in your childhood and you have embodied it though you are doing a good job of covering it up.

If you don't handle it now, it will so mess you up mentally and your outcomes in life will show it including your relationships. The burdens you are covering can even mess your health up with time.

You are reacting to life now from a place of subconscious pain, anger and resentment. Your reactions to your parents, relatives and to spirituality(to God) is not by the real you. The real you is buried beneath all that pain and fear and anger.

You are angry at the world and angry with God, though your conscious mind might deny it.

Stay away from your parents for now. Take responsibility for your own healing. No blaming or buck passing at this stage. Get a therapist. Get healed. Find your authentic self again.

Forgive your parents they are acting out of ignorance. If they knew better they would act better. Heal, forgive, then go back to them. The dynamics will change.

Best wishes

Thank You. I appreciate. I am trying to get in touch with a psychologist for therapy. She is yet to get back.

Xone3:

I really don't blame you for being like this. At all.

Like how?

I am. Honest with u.

If both parents are seeing sumtin wrong with u, yes they are right.. Better amend ur ways b4 its too late

ProfDview1:


Like how?

I am. Honest with u.

If both parents are seeing sumtin wrong with u, yes they are right.. Better amend ur ways b4 its too late

If both parents can't be pleased with whatever you do? It is my fault right? I prefer it gets late then. Every one has a breaking point and when they act out of it, they are bastards? You're the first person that will tell you me I am a bastard because everyone says I look like my father.��

[quote author=Xone3 post=88323466]
If both parents can't be pleased with whatever you do? It is my fault right? I prefer it gets late then. Every one has a breaking point and when they act out of it, they are bastards? You're the first person that will tell you me I am a bastard because everyone says I look like my father.��[/QUOTE]


SORRY Abt calling u a bastard but then, try listen to ur parents first

Xone3:

If both parents can't be pleased with whatever you do? It is my fault right? I prefer it gets late then. Every one has a breaking point and when they act out of it, they are bastards? You're the first person that will tell me I am a bastard because everyone says I look like my father. ��

You've got a response for everything and everyone, don't you? Lol

crackland:



You've got a response for everything and everyone, don't you? Lol

Lolz, it is part of my job actually.

Xone3:

Thank You. I appreciate. I am trying to get in touch with a psychologist for therapy. She is yet to get back.

You are welcome. I am a therapist too just in case that doesn't work out.

DeeMain:


You are welcome. I am a therapist too just in case that doesn't work out.

.
Waoh!!! Will send you a request please.

Xone3:
.
Waoh!!! Will send you a request please.

Responded.

DeeMain:

Responded.

Seen, thanks

Xone3:

Reasoning with them is not easy/possible. Every one tries to justify their action as right. if I talk to them today, they will change for the day and the next day they will get back to the former way. Your opinions don't matter.

My elder brother is tired of the situation and doesn't want to talk about it. Younger one doesn't have a say.

Thank your stars you even have a calm reasonable elder brother. Mine Is old man and the first 4 people are the real problem. Cowardice, Hypocritical, Unintelligent, Unwise and very Shortsighted people....

Xone3:
Please I need the procedures needed to disown myself from my parents. Almost 30 and I am psychologically drained.

Pls someone should tutor me ooo

Do we have legal procedure to disown our parents, siblings or children?

When I thought I've heard it all.

Stay away from them for atleast 3years. Anytime they need you just act busy but just stay away from them


Min 3 Years

Xone3:

Thank You. I appreciate. I am trying to get in touch with a psychologist for therapy. She is yet to get back.

Hello Xone3,

I can imagine the kind of emotional pain you are going through. Most especially from your family, friends and the abuse. It is not easy for you. Please, take a deep breathe and relax a bit. I pray you do not start having High BP so young. Please, everything will be okay.

I will advise you to contact Dr. Yolanda N. George-David fondly known as Aunt Landa (if you reside in Lagos)
Dr. Yolanda N. George-David is a Philanthropist, a Neurosurgeon with primary residency in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, a clinical & Relational Psychologist. She hosts a weekend radio show on 92.3 Inspiration FM SHARING LIFE ISSUES.

My dear, she is really good and gives free therapy. Take it easy and all the best!

Her contact details are: Tel: +2348074754380, +2348099111919, +2349070009111, 0700AUNTLANDA,
Email Addresses: askauntlanda@gmail.com, aunt_landa@yahoo.com.
https://auntlandabethelfoundation.org/
Twitter: @auntlanda
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/auntlanda

Xone3:

If both parents can't be pleased with whatever you do? It is my fault right? I prefer it gets late then. Every one has a breaking point and when they act out of it, they are bastards? You're the first person that will tell you me I am a bastard because everyone says I look like my father.��

You see the value of family? Of having an identity? Of calling someone "my father" regardless of how he "gets on your nerves"? Of knowing someone you look like? NOT EVERYBODY HAS THAT!
So, are you really sure you want to give all that up?
If you were truly serious about disowning your parents, you wouldn't take offense with someone referring to you as a bastard.
Humble yourself.
Be grateful for what you have.
Be thankful for the blessing of family.
There are people out there without families to pass time with during this lockdown and are going insane from loneliness.
Enjoy the moment with your family, you'll not always have them.
The time you're guaranteed is now.
These people telling that your parents are the problem, do you know how they live? If they've got families of their own?
I'd rather be at fault and be with my family, than sever ties with them.
Practice humility and see how things work out.
Everything is worth giving up for peace.