Imagine you got kids and just one of them is doing things just the way you like and somehow or most times attention goes to that child leaving the rest feeling unloved. How do you remedy this?

kindly share

How do you normally show love to him that you can't easily extend it to the other children? Give an example.

I park here

Joint heirs

It will be terrible for a parent to make such huge mistake. If you allow the other kids to grow with hate in their heart eh, you as a parent your own don finish....

I am not a father yet but the germane fact is parents tend to give preference to a child mostly at the detriment of others.

Our parents all have that child that they hold in high esteem maybe because of resemblance to either of them, intelligence, et’ll. The best way is to do this secretly n not in a way that the siblings will have a bad impression of their parents. Dad loves our eldest sister basically because she’s in medicine and she is apparently the most brilliant of all.

Pls don't try this at home

Try and show d same love but in yur heart you know yur favourite
I cant come and divide my children from childhood

To all Christ believers in the house as we all knows the fasting has ended and celebration follow because our Lord has risen today. Please your assistance is needed, I don't have food to eat as im typing this message and no hope anywhere because covid-19 has made me stranded....
If you think you're Worthy of giving to the less privilege at this difficult time please do so in the name of God
Gtbank 0036230283 Oke O. Ezekiel
Nothing is little thanks

No abuse

lemme learn too

Till date, my siblings hate me because of this. I was our parents favourite.

Please don't try this in your home now or in the future!

jeff1607:
Imagine you got kids and just one of them is doing things just the way you like and somehow or most times attention goes to that child leaving the rest feeling unloved. How do you remedy this?

kindly share

Every child is unique on his own way

Don't show love to a particular child among the children

You can use the good child to teach the bad ones

As I'm not a parent yet, I'm here to learn

i love all equally. if you show favouritism then you are a bad parent.

frozen70:


Every child is unique on his own way

Don't show love to a particular child among the children

You can use the good child to teach the bad ones

your last sentence i.e using one child to correct or teach the other, isn't that kinda bad?

there is a huge difference between giving attention to a child and loving that child more than the others. just because you spend more time developing a child's quality/characteristic (that other kids may not have) then that doesnt mean you love the others any less.

so long as you can sit down and explain that to your kids, its all good!

jeff1607:



your last sentence i.e using one child to correct or teach the other, isn't that kinda bad?

You got me wrong there

Assuming you have a child that does it right all the time

Tell other children to emulate from that child and also ask that child to put them through under your supervision

As a mother that stays at home, you make use of the well behave child to teach the naughty ones, so thst they too can emulate

frozen70:


You got me wrong there

Assuming you have a child that does it right all the time

Tell other children to emulate from that child and also ask that child to put them through under your supervision

As a mother that stays at home, you make use of the well behave child to teach the naughty ones, so thst they too can emulate

say for instance the "good" child is younger than the "bad" child the eldest


what sayest thou?

I believe my parents will have a favorite among us but I thank God for their wisdom, they have never given any impression that they like one child than others.

No matter how much I think about it, I can't just fathom who they love most.

jeff1607:


say for instance the "good" child is younger than the "bad" child the eldest


what sayest thou?

That's a good question,
where were you when the senior one was turning to a nuisance

They all came through one channel. Love them equally and draw the best out from them all.

.

Don't compare and contrast any child to another by saying things like, can't you see John? Why can't you behave like joy? Etc. Give equal attention to each child and try to find out why a child behaves the way he or she does. Besides is "doing all you want" and "pleasing you" the best option for that particular child?

Learn to listen to your kids more.

Stop the atitude of comparing one to the other they are both absolutely different.....d more u use dat kind of word d more the child grow worst and worst.....because that clearly defined that u love one ....y the other one isnt love....And try to put they together advice dem and lead dem through the world of God......u will see all will definately go well

frozen70:


You got me wrong there

Assuming you have a child that does it right all the time

Tell other children to emulate from that child and also ask that child to put them through under your supervision

As a mother that stays at home, you make use of the well behave child to teach the naughty ones, so thst they too can emulate

That may sow d seed of envy.. Remember Joseph in d Bible

As human beings favouritism is inevitable. As one poster mentioned each child is unique, so a parent should focus more on those unique aspects. There is no way the other children are write-offs save the favoured one. Don't also forget each parent has their favourite which the other may look down on. There are too many variables attached to such a case that I will advice a one child policy to those not mature enough to handle such a situation. Even at that some parents will prefer siblings' children to their own child. Lol.

I'm not a parent yet but I think when you realize that your children are normal humans with strength and weaknesses then it's easier to give them equal love, you only have a favourite when you've blinded your eyes to his/her flaws and don't do the same for the rest.

Lots of parents are guilty of this and it's wrong.

I also hate the system of "egbon" where a child is given special privileges over his siblings especially when the age gap is just 2 or 3 years. It's barbaric and a quick way to breed hatred and resentment in the hearts of the younger ones towards the eldest (I noticed this happens mainly between boys tho).

I'm a proud patent of two boys, my first, though, intelligent, has challenges with reading and writing fast, he is mostly the last to finish copying notes and questions during class work while my second do things at the speed of light, very smart and intelligent, while the first struggles with learning despite being intelligent, the second is a straight A kid, but let me shock you, I love them both very much, I can't even describe it, I don't have a favorite.

I know both of their strengths and weaknesses and I've been able to harness these to my own advantage can have rest in future. For instance, my first is very hard working for his age 8 yrs, while the other is a little lazy but I've been able to make him mentor his big brother, he now does little and I also encourage the younger to read books with his brother in order to improve his reading and they are both cool about it. Now they do house chores together without complain.

Every good parent know that it is evil to have favourite among children, it's witchcraft.

Raising children is a conscious thing and not an emotional thing.You have to be intentional with each child.
Children have strengths and weaknesses and you need to harness each child's strength through wisdom.
Consciously give attention to each child especially in developing their strengths and improving their weaknesses.Treat each child as unique.Give them equal chores to do and also when giving gifts,try to be equal.
You must avoid actions that can breed envy.Don't spend all your time on that brilliant child alone.
Ask God for wisdom cause you'll need it.

Nikkygold4life:
I'm a proud patent of two boys, my first, though, intelligent, has challenges with reading and writing fast, he is mostly the last to finish copying notes and questions during class work while my second do things at the speed of light, very smart and intelligent, while the first struggles with learning despite being intelligent, the second is a straight A kid, but let me shock you, I love them both very much, I can't even describe it, I don't have a favorite.

I know both of their strengths and weaknesses and I've been able to harness these to my own advantage can have rest in future. For instance, my first is very hard working for his age 8 yrs, while the other is a little lazy but I've been able to make him mentor his big brother, he now does little and I also encourage the younger to read books with his brother in order to improve his reading and they are both cool about it. Now they do house chores together without complain.

Every good parent know that it is evil to have favourite among children, it's witchcraft.

can you please describe the feeling you get when you see your boys helping each other out or what comes to your mind

jeff1607:



can you please describe the feeling you get when you see your boys helping each other out or what comes to your mind

I was very deliberate in the type of training and guidance so I feel fulfilled that I'm raising emotionally balanced children, I'm even surprised at the results. They are still growing so researching about parenting and understanding individual differences is crucial in raising children that will grow to love themselves for who they are.