Hello people

Please help with your inputs....I will be very brief.

A man married a woman.. the marriage produced a kid. Along the line they had an unreconcilable issue...I called it unreconcilable because the man had begged the woman, called elders and everyone in sight to help beg but the woman is unforgiving. Now after some years of the woman staying out of their matrimonial home. (Cos she moved out with the children) she called the man and told him she wants to move on and remarry and that the man should tell her how to return the dowry paid on her. She is also making the man sign an undertaking that he can always come to see the children whenever he wants. Though the agreement didn't state that the children can always visit their father whenever they want.

Now my question,, should the man accept the dowry or he should reject it but let her move on?

Secondly, the agreement stating that he can only visit the children at her maybe new home. Is it proper? Cos as it is the children cant go to their fathers. Please ur opinions are welcomed.. DNT mind my typography.

Go to court and seek redress why should she be the one drafting the agreements.

first you stated a kid, later children.
Nevertheless, in my tradition if the man do not collect the bride price or the lady family do not return the bride price, it means they are still married. if the lady sleep with another man it's known as abomination.
secondly, if the lady haven't remarry, the man can visit the kid(s) in her new home rather fix a venue.

immaq8:
first you stated a kid, later children.
Nevertheless, in my tradition if the man do not collect the bride price or the lady family do not return the bride price, it means they are still married. if the lady sleep with another man it's known as abomination.

Apologies..... child!!

Thanks for ur input...

The dowry return thing is an igbo thing but I think her people would have to return same to your people.


Regarding the visitation rights, biko draw the agreement together or get a lawyer to help with that as it is important that you guys do this in agreement and cordiality. Does it include provision for child support too? What were her concerns for only allowing visitation within her premises? It is not easy o...try not to escalate the matter too much so you can continue to have assess to your kids. Person wey carry them go before fit disappear patapata with them...good luck.

U can collect the bride price back according to tradition.if not they will use legal means to make u collect it back. U have to rewrite a new agreement about the visitation.it has to indicate that the kids can as well visit their father but only when they have become teenagers BC men use that visiting style to kidnap their young kids therefore making them forget their mum.they can visit u but only when they are older

You are the Man... Let's get that out of the way...


There is no dire consequences if you accept or reject...

I have never heard of this tradition before

If the bride price is not returned and she remarries the children produced in the new marriage belongs to the previous husband.

This is why men must insist on paying #10,000,000 bride price as future investment so on the day the woman decides to return the bride price you can be sure of buying a new tear rubber car and clear some debts.

And this is why the woman's family should demand for only #20.00 as bride price so on the day your daughter runs away you will not carry gbese. Its not good to be greedy.

Young boys and girls and panel of judges hope i have been able to convince and confuse you with these few points of mine?

I guess offering to pay the bride price back is an indication that they want to collect their child back and return your money...

Well if our differences can't be resolved I would gladly collect my bride price back from them and release Bheir daugjter to them...my child stays with me anytime...thaats the sole aim in the first place...

After kids, they are not so necessary in one's life especially the ones that would send you to. Early grave...

Yes , islamically

When she Bleep up and she returns the bride prize i will gladly collect it, if possible she should return all the money i spend on the wedding. Let me use it to buy a car or drink beer.

If girlfriends can even return the money we spend on them this life would be a better place.

Its a trap......i've seen this thing in a nollywood movie.

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She wants to use him for juju! - whatever her people return will be very well cursed.

He needs to use those children as a bargaining tool - he better set the terms after consulting his village oracle!

I still don't understand why many of these indomie generation kids are leaving their marriages.

On Easter Sunday, a woman with 2 kids ran away from her home abandoning her kids with the husband. Why? We are yet to know.

Why can't girls of nowadays stay and make their marriage work?

Yeah.. but I doubt if that would be feasible in the Eastern part of Nigeria

If only she will return with interest and also pay for the time wasted. After all girls plenty for Naija

Igbo tradition I'm sure has answer to this. Their ancestors planned everything meticulously with a solution.

Poster SSam01 above just gave you one Igbo answer with a little of my paraphrase "If the bride price is not returned if deemed necessary to return it by elders after a meeting and she remarries, the children produced in the new marriage belongs to the previous husband." It may sound confusing if you are not Igbo but their ancestors know why these rules were made.

He go hard me to marry after all i don see and hear. God

Let's wait for the elders to come in; advise and share their experiences.

You can never please some women no matter what you do.

Ain't tryna be sentimental but truth be told,some women are just something else...even after the dude don beg her finish...she still dey form boss as Bianca ojukwu wey she be nii

If na the man wey wan marry another wife ontop now...she will jejely look for means to poison the man

Ah.

Don't collect it. Obviously, the man has not forgiven himself but seeks forgiveness from his woman. He shouldn't stoop to negotiate from the short end of the gun. There should be some pride and vim left in the man; he shouldn't beat himself into allowing the wife pay him off.

If she wants a divorce, let her go the route as mandated by law. Serve the man the right papers and get it vide the court. That would also address the child's issue.

Let no one be the judge, jury, prosecution and defendant in his/her own case.

Otherwise, the man should let her roam free. She'll also find that she abandoned a lower evil for the devil himself.

We all later realise that our unforgiving nature is our very own fetters.

All men was born equal and free ..if you decided to go and marry o..you are on your own...I won't make that mistake in this life..

Baby mama all the way ..no string attached, you free to leave your life the way you want.

To be sincere some men are animals, I know why I'm saying so ..
To my mom the woman that gave birth to me.i wish you all the best in life, may you find the man who will love you the way you are, may you never come across someone as heartless as my dad.
Even though I'm the one being affected now but I just have to bear the pain cos I'm a man

HMMMMM


When marriages break up over un-reconciliation differences, the court is the only body that can dictate what happens after the break up.

Ask yourself if SARS them catch Yahoo boy won't the scammer returned the money back to the scammed and why won't the scammed collect his scammed money back

Marrying Naija girls is a well plotted scam venture

People no longer attach value to bride price, Couples go separate ways this days without returning or collecting bride price

It depends on the type of marriage

Customary Marriage requires a divorce order from a customary court.

Statutory marriage requires an order from the court(high court) to dissolve the marriage.

To enable each of the parties seek their reliefs..
Let it be on record