RexTramadol1:
After written and oral interview




Dem say salary is based on commission, no basic Salary




Efele

Jaqenhghar:
Meeen cant forget that one. I dont know how I totally forgot everything I was supposed to say. I sounded like one big fúcking bumbling idiot. Couldnt string sentences. There was no reason to because the questions were simple enough.... my experiences. At one point the interviewers look at each other as if to say " na wa for this guy" . Till today I dont know how it happened. I knew I wouldnt get that job. Would have been surprised if I did

Then there was this other one I did in Lagos. I felt insulted by the people who were interviewing me. Some small boys with very inflated egos. I went for that interview more out politeness. After the 1st question I knew I didnt wa t to work there. I jist clammed up and refused to cooperate. Stared them down and assumed my most arrogant posture. I thinl I even laughed at one of them sef at the question he asked me. LOL

chukzyfcbb:
Tech Interview

Lebanese: So you I see you have networking certificates, CCNA and the rest, so what's Networking?

Me: (in my head wtf such a cheap question). Networking is the connection of two or more devices to share resources eg Internet, Printer , files

Lebanese/Indian guy : (Smiles), so I have a usb printer attached to a PC, how can another user pc make use of that same printer.

Me: (realises this one no be certificate theory jumbo). started talking rubbish....

Lebanese/Indian guy: ....But you just said networking is about sharing resources eg Printer

Me: Was cold as all the Networking Certificate now proved useless in the face of Pratical.

StarUp:
Interviewer: Do you know that 95% of ladies piss on their body while bathing

Me: Yes, I know

Interviewer: You just got the job, congratulations

everbliss:
I went for an interview. My interviewer was a lady. She said tell me about yourself and was working on her system. By the time I was done, she said start all over. I didn't know whether to slap her. Only for me to find out she was not supposed to be the interviewer. She said we will get back to you.

hustla:


Experience trumps Certs
All day!

Mexyz:
so her ability to work under pressure includes answering different questions at the same time
How can 2-3 persons be asking someone different questions the same time?

Ninethmare:
I once attended an aptitude test in one multinational oil company in Lagos


As an engineering student from one of the best federal university I was like any question them like make them bring

Na so I enter hall, computer base test

exam started
no calculator
nothing nothing
just you and your God

I logged in
the first question my brain turn upside down
I said let me skip and go to the next
my people na so I skip tire.
I looked at my right and I looked at my left
that was when I know that social distancing can prevent many things

after sometime I just dey do tumbo tumbo.
A total question of 50 in 30 minutes.

Answer 30 questions and move to the next stage.

after the exam I clicked submit.

my people the result confused me
out of 50 questions I answered 8

I failed woefully
Even the invigilator was sorry for me.

Since that day I started seeing Onisha Main market in my dreams.

omorttee4u:
Some company know, they need only 2 or 3 employee, they ended up inviting 100 applicant, is very annoying, they know what they are doing, by start gathering ideas on how they will grow their organisation.

Note : they already had the list of candidate that will fix the post.

SafariBoy:
You mean you will do interview when going into agric

chukzyfcbb:
Tech Interview

Lebanese: So you I see you have networking certificates, CCNA and the rest, so what's Networking?

Me: (in my head wtf such a cheap question). Networking is the connection of two or more devices to share resources eg Internet, Printer , files

Lebanese/Indian guy : (Smiles), so I have a usb printer attached to a PC, how can another user pc make use of that same printer.

Me: (realises this one no be certificate theory jumbo). started talking rubbish....

Lebanese/Indian guy: ....But you just said networking is about sharing resources eg Printer

Me: Was cold as all the Networking Certificate now proved useless in the face of Pratical.

Risentouch:
Mine was really frustrating.
When I passed the DSSS exam, then we went for oral interview, that's earlier last year
After checking my documents and discovered that am from the same community as Nnamdi Kanu, their first question was; where is your king? I answered that I don't know his whereabouts, then the main questions started flooding focusing on [color=#550000][/color]IPOB and I was like is this an interview or interrogation.
A friend of mine who later got the job said I that his uncle told him I passed very well just that am Nnamdi Kanu's brother is the reason I lost out. Honestly I was happy they didn't take me, imagine working in such an environment you are already seen as a rebel in just your first appearance

anykey:
Mine was funny though.
It was during my 6 months internship programme, and i was linked up to a company on the island. After passing their tests, i was called up for their interview. On to say i don stay house for close to 2 months, i wanted to get into this company by all means. So i got very nervous when i was told i was the next to be interviewed.
I got in the hall and i saw four men, my heart started racing, my head went blank. I was asked to introduce my self, i just talk am some how how. Then one of them asked me the capital of nigeria.
I said kampala. They all started laughing, in short one of them started choking on the laughter. They had to bring water for him, after he calmed down, he continued laughing. I was so embarassed. Then the choked man said, mo like Bobo kampala yi. (he likes me). They asked the question again though, and i told them the correct answer, they understood i was nervous.
I got the job though cos i had internal links, but na kampala them call me throughout my stay there.

Dmeji4444:
I am Muslim that wear beards. On that d, interviewer shifted from the major interview and started asking about Boko Haram immediately he checked my name on the CV.

questions like;

What do you know about Boko Haram?

How do you feel if you hear the news about the members of the sect being killed?

I smiled, picked my CV from his desk then walked out.

Dmeji4444:
I am Muslim that wear beards. On that d, interviewer shifted from the major interview and started asking about Boko Haram immediately he checked my name on the CV.

questions like;

What do you know about Boko Haram?

How do you feel if you hear the news about the members of the sect being killed?

I smiled, picked my CV from his desk then walked out.

Ramos16:


I had the same experience as your first story, it was KPMG, I had smashed all the test and it was just face to face interview, it went terribly, I was so nervous I thought I was going to faint. Surprisingly enough, they gave my second thoughts, while others were receiving acceptance or rejection emails, I did not see mine till much later. It was the worst experience ever. But the interviewers were nice.

They started asking me questions about my home to calm me down. It was humiliating, but I wish they understood that the only reason I got nervous was because of how much importance I put into getting into the company.

But I am actually really happy they did not give me a chance, else I won't be here today, I know what I have achieved now I would not have achieved in 20 years in KPMG

PeacenLove2:


Be like say you don chop belleful that time.

Risentouch:
Mine was really frustrating.
When I passed the DSSS exam, then we went for oral interview, that's earlier last year
After checking my documents and discovered that am from the same community as Nnamdi Kanu, their first question was; where is your king? I answered that I don't know his whereabouts, then the main questions started flooding focusing on [color=#550000][/color]IPOB and I was like is this an interview or interrogation.
A friend of mine who later got the job said I that his uncle told him I passed very well just that am Nnamdi Kanu's brother is the reason I lost out. Honestly I was happy they didn't take me, imagine working in such an environment you are already seen as a rebel in just your first appearance