Few subjects in life ignite as much passion and longing within us as our desire for love, our interest in sex, and our hope for enduring relationships. Regardless of our backgrounds, race, values, intelligence, or experience, we all long to be loved. Every human being on this planet craves to be that "cherished person" to someone else. In like manner, the mystery and the power of human sexuality
draw us like an invisible magnet into the world of relationships.

Put simply, we humans are relational beings. We were made by God to love and be loved.
We crave the intimacy, acceptance, security, and significance that flow when we bond in mind, heart, and body with a member of the opposite sex.

God who designed you to love and be loved has also provided specific wisdom and instructions to make that possible in your daily life. If you don't understand romantic relationships from God's perspective, you are destined to a life of severe disappointment and significant frustration.

I can certainly imagine a world in which children grow up surrounded by good examples of loving relationships. I can see mothers and fathers openly sharing affection, keeping love alive, and talking with their kids about every aspect of relationships. I can picture father-son and mother-daughter moments when they gradually share age-appropriate insights about love and sexuality. But did anything like that ever happen to you?
Did your mom or dad ever sit down with you and say, "This is how to build a healthy relationship with the opposite sex"?
Did wise and trusted adults ever tell you, "This is what sex is really all about" beyond the physical details you got in a ninth-grade health class?
Were you ever in a warm, positive, family conversation in which you heard, "This is why and how sex can be beautiful, good, and wonderful, but be careful, because this is how sex can be distorted and destructive"?
Did your parents ever have a discussion with you about how to build intimacy in a relationship through communication, commitment, and clear, shared goals?

The answer for most of us is no. No one ever gave us reliable guidelines for these personal areas of our lives.

Most of us learned about love, sex, and relationships through our culture. Our teachers, sadly, have been older teens who themselves came from dysfunctional homes. If that isn't enough, the media have sold us a false bill of goods with regard to the entire notion of love, sex, and relationships. After listening to thousands of songs and getting a daily dose of television, movies, and romance novels, our hearts and minds have been filled with false ideas about what love, sex, and relationships are all about.

You and I have spent countless hours singing along with popular songs, following television programs, and anticipating the next sequel of our favorite movie hero. In the process we have become unconsciously convinced that if we follow a simple, four-step approach to relationships, it will work out for us just like it works in the movies or like it says in the song.

How many of these people who sing these songs of love actually have true love in their lives or how about those who act those romantic folktales we fall in love with? When did all these become a standard formula for true love? When it is said follow the example and advice of those who succeed and not of those who fail? Why then is the worldly way of relationship practiced more than the biblical way?

The worldly way and formula promises that you can be deeply loved, have awesome sex, and walk into the sunset with another person for life if you simply do what happens in the movies.


I will be posting the Bollywood, Nollywood, Hollywood and Movie propagated formula before going into the biblical way, because if we first do not realize what we have subconsciously been practicing and admit how wrong they were we won't be able to properly put to practice the gospel truth of true love.

contact me to join a biblical teaching group on relationships the way God intended.

Nice piece.
Following fully.

following

Now if you watch movies especially Hollywood movies, and even Nollywood that tries to copy them at times you will notice their four basic steps, that lead to deep, intimate, sizzling relationships that will last forever.

Step 1: Find the Right Person

That's right. The key to love (according to them) is finding that one special person who
was made just for you. She's out there; you just have to find her.
Drive around. Hang out. Be on the lookout. The moment will come.
Do you remember the scene from the movie 'While You Were Sleeping' when Sandra Bullock finds her "right one" when he steps up to her subway counter and asks for a ticket to Connecticut? Then he gets knocked senseless, and while she's visiting him in the hospital she just happens to meet his brother who turns out to be her real "right one."

In Sweet November Keanu Reeves tries to cheat on his driver's exam, gets Charlize Theron in trouble, and meets the love of his life instead.
James Bond usually meets his "right ones" when they are trying to kill him.
Jennifer Lopez meets one Mr. Right when he saves her from being run over by a dumpster in one movie, then finds the love of her life when she's the maid cleaning up his hotel room in her next film.

Do you get the picture? Whether it's the movies and stars of today or the Clark Gables, Cary Grants, Marilyn Monroes, or Raquel Welches of the past, *the message is always the same. Finding the right person just happens!* It's wild, accidental, and you're helpless in the process.
Eventually you're going to meet the "right one." When you least expect it, expect it.

Yep right around the next corner you will find someone much better than anyone you have ever known. True love is mystical and magical. It's all about finding the right person. If it can happen to J. Lo, it can happen to you. Just keep looking.


There you have it the first step, well now we know why many say things like they are waiting for "the right one" it's usually movie and music motivated and they put on so much pressure waiting for some magic to happen and reveal "the right one". Now their next step

Step 3: Fix Your Hopes and Dreams on This Person for Your Future Fulfillment

In the movies love vetoes every other decision. Brides and grooms are regularly left at the altar because their future mates have decided
to run off with someone else with whom they are "really in love."
Once you fall in love, in the Hollywood version, every other promise
you have made is null and void. You can't be held to any previous commitment. The person with whom you "fall in love" will become the object of your life, your future, your dreams, and your satisfaction. You have suddenly realized that he and he alone will make you complete.

He will make you whole. Life will have meaning like it never has before (except for all the other times you've been in love)

In fact, you will find yourself living and thinking the lines from your favorite songs:
"I don't know what I'd do without you" and "I can't go on without you, baby." Or always listening to certain songs to reinforce your fantasy.

You begin to believe you can't make it without him or
her. You constantly daydream about this person, writing perfect, romantic scripts about your future life together. You fully expect that this person will be able to meet your deepest longings and needs and
come through for you 100 percent of the time. Though we all intellectually know it is impossible, we have been subtly taught to base our future happiness on the unconscious expectation that finding the right person will solve all our problems.

Hollywood equates infatuation with love. This period of intense infatuation and supercharged emotions can last anywhere from six weeks to eighteen months. And when the feelings start to subside (as
they always do), we've been brainwashed to conclude that our love is
dying. The perfect partner turns out to have a flaw or two. He or she can't quite live up to our imagination. Relational conflict begins to raise its ugly head.
Dissatisfaction gradually erodes those once euphoric feelings. Disillusioned and discouraged, we begin to change our focus. As emotions wane and irritations arise, we start to blame our problems on the other person's inability to measure up.

Another failed step many repeat over and over again. Some think it's maybe spiritual husband or wive disturbing, yes there maybe cases like that but in this case it's the spirit from the movies and music seriously affecting you, affecting your expectations and even your decisions.

Step 4: if Failure Occurs, Repeat Steps 1,2, and 3
Step 3 usually leads to failure, eventually and many get trapped in this bubble fantasy and repeat the same process that failed all over again.

The world's key to love is finding the right person. If your current relationship isn't working, if for some reason this person doesn't fulfill all your dreams and desires, if you're not exhilarated, then you must have the wrong person. He may have seemed to be the right one at the start, but the fact that the feelings have faded means that he wasn't actually the right person for you. Throw that one away and find a new one. When you do, repeat the same formula until you get it right.


The media distorted view of relationship has affected marriages in that the more influence media has in the lives of people over the decade the rapidly increasing number of divorces worldwide from a few millions in the 70's to tens of millions 20years after. If we were talking about a virus or infection, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) would be calling this a catastrophic epidemic.
Some ladies use novels as their preparatory books, African magic, Iroko and the rest to know how guys act, what to expect and how to react. Which offers no advantage whatsoever when you comparing the previous with no or low media influence our parents with ours we see that most marriages that occurred men were aged 23, 25 and barely reached 30 before marrying and most ladies were married even before 21. Now the current trend see men go past 25 and even clock late 30's before thinking of settling down, what about ladies? Well it's strange to still be a virgin(Virtue is more important) in their 20s even more strange to get married before 25, reason, is "why the rush?" Even at that age many are still not prepared.

Do you hear what this generation is
saying by their actions and sometimes admitting by their words?
• "I don't know if I believe in marriage."
• "I get close to someone, then the same thing always happens. I'm scared to death to make a commitment."
• "I don't know how marriage is supposed to work, but I know I grew
up in a family where it didn't."
• "I've got unresolved issues and unresolved pain and a lot of fear about relationships."
• "I want intimacy and I long to be connected with someone else, but my heart got ripped out and no one helped me cope with the pain. They said I'd get over it. Well, I'm not over it. I'm afraid to go into new relationships."

It doesn't get better because such model is now on social media, motivational speeches and posts all propagating a formula that doesn't work, either is doesn't lead to marriage or it results in a broken home.

Some are blessed by having great pastors who teaching the proper principles for relationship, whose marriage is an example for others both in purpose and in overcoming challenges. When you realize that you can cast a demon out of someone but when the person still lives under the institution of evil principles and practice those demons will return.

When anyone keeps feeding themselves with the wrong information, they would either lack a relationship or struggle with the ones they do have.

Now I will quote a scripture Romans 12:2 AMP:
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

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